As hard as his words are to take, I have to figure out a way to accept them.
Jeffrey eyes me. “Any luck with Vaughn?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I talked to him the other night and really pushed, Jeffrey. I swear I did. But I’m not sure if I got through to him.”
Jeffrey nods. “Thanks.”
“I don’t want to bring this up with him again. I think it’s hurting my relationship with him. I can tell I pushed too hard.”
“All right. You can back off. You held up your end of the bargain.”
“What bargain?”
I turn to find Vaughn standing at the end of the hallway, coming in from the rec room, holding a bag of waters. I close my eyes tightly, my stomach plummeting to the ground.
“What’s going on?” Vaughn asks. “What were you just saying about talking to me the other night?”
I open my eyes to find Jeffrey sitting back in his chair, arm resting on the table, staring at Vaughn, his expression impassive. “I asked her to talk to you about school. I wanted to make sure you were thinking about a major.”
“Bullshit,” Vaughn says. “I heard everything from the second you walked in here. What was the bargain?” He turns to me. “Jeffrey said you’d held up your end of the bargain. What bargain did you make with him, Carlyn?”
Jeffrey lifts his hand. “Just calm down. It’s not all that.”
Vaughn drops the waters on the counter with a thunk and walks toward us. “Not all what? Deception? The two of you teaming up to do what, get me to understand I’m too much of a dumb jock to go to school?”
I stand up. “No, of course not.”
“But there was a deal struck, right?” He huffs a laugh. “Is that how you got her to come here? You promised her coaching in return for trying to get me not to go to school?”
Jeffrey frowns, staring back at Vaughn. “I just want what’s best for you.”
Vaughn turns to me. “And you? What do you want? Coaching from Jeffrey? So much so that you were willing to cozy up to me to get it?”
“No, I—” I shake my head and step toward him, but he backs up, hands up like he’s being attacked.
“So this whole summer was a lie? You were just using me to get free coaching from him?”
“No,” I say, but I realize, any other words I think of right now would sound hollow and useless.
He looks at Jeffrey. “Did you pick her…on purpose?”
“She was the best for the job. We discussed this.”
He holds up a finger. “No, I specifically suggested other girls. Madison Jones, Sydney Topian, Devin Dalton, ones who could present some sort of challenge for me on the court, and you said you’d already checked with all of them, and they were all booked for the summer. Was that true?”
His words gut me to my core. I imagine when he had to resign himself to bringing me, the shittiest girl around who couldn’t even volley with him.
Jeffrey lets out a huff of air. “They weren’t right for this.”
He narrows his gaze. “You mean they had boyfriends…or in Sydney’s case a girlfriend. Wouldn’t she have been the perfect choice as far as the rules were concerned? No chance of a romance. But you wanted that to happen. You wanted Carlyn so I would fall for her and she could manipulate me. You knew I’d fall for her. How?”
Jeffrey looks contrite, and I realize that when he said Vaughn and I had more in common than I realized, he was referring to our absent parents—both of Vaughn’s parents and my mother. I look at Vaughn to see if he’s puzzled it out yet.
He searches both Jeffrey and me for answers, but we don’t speak. He points between the two of us. “I want you both out of my life…today.” He opens the door to the patio and is gone without another word.
Jeffrey stands. “I’m sorry…about everything.”
I glare at him. “You chose me because I didn’t have a mom.”
He nods. “Yes. I knew you’d connect with him, and I was right.”
“You’re really an ass. You know that?”
He lets out an exhausted breath. “Yeah, I know it.”
I stab a finger at him. “And you stole my dad’s girlfriend.” He stares at me, confused. My finger shakes. “Three years ago. Shannon Dunne. She was my dad’s girlfriend.”
He thinks about it. “Blonde?”
“No,” I say, making him figure it out, but he comes up empty. “My dad was going to marry her, and then you took her from us.” I realize this is stupid. He didn’t physically remove her from our home, but he might as well have.
He stares at me. “I’m really sorry, Carlyn. I didn’t mean to hurt you or your dad.”
“Have you ever considered that you’re wrong about Vaughn? That maybe he’s smarter than you give him credit for? He’s never had a situation with school where he’s been free to focus on it. Why don’t you let him try that now? Professional tennis will be there waiting…with or without you.”
He stares at me like he’s letting my words sink in. He huffs a humorless laugh. “I guess I’ve been too goddamned arrogant to see that.”
I stare back at him, my lip trembling. I’m focusing all my anger on him, but he’s not the only one to blame for everything that’s happened.
He picks up his phone off the table. “If you decide to go DII or DIII, let me know. I’ll be happy to help facilitate that. I can even have my assistant search out some good fits for you. Getting on a team won’t be a problem on those levels.”
I don’t respond, and he heads out the front door.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Carlyn
“Sweetie, what would you like for dinner?” my dad asks.
I look up from my book I wasn’t even reading. “Hmm? Oh, whatever. Frozen dinner is fine.”
“I want to cook. How about spaghetti and those turkey meatballs you like so much.”
I try to smile. “Mm-hmm. Thanks.”
He exhales a deep breath and plops down in his armchair catty-cornered from me on the couch. “Sweetie, I really wish you’d talk to me.”
There’s no way I’m sharing any of this with him. If he knew Jeffrey had anything to do with the fact that I came home early from the camp, he’d lose his mind.
“I was starting to think Vaughn was an okay guy, but you’ve got me worried that he’s done something horrible to you.”
I put my book down. “Dad, you know that’s not true. I’ve told you he’s been a perfect gentleman all summer long. Do you not believe me?”
“Of course I believe you, but what am I supposed to think? You’ve been moping around this place for a week acting like somebody died. Did he reject you in some way?” he asks as if it pains him to do so.
It’s even harder for me to answer. “No, not like what you’re thinking.”
“Then how? Did he hurt you?”
I exhale a deep breath. “Not in any way I didn’t deserve.”
His eyes go big. “Carlyn, you do not deserve to be hurt by that boy.”
I close my eyes, rubbing my forehead. “Not like that, Dad. I did something bad to him, and he found out about it, and he said something that was truthful, but stung, and he doesn’t want to see me anymore, and I honestly don’t blame him.”
“You did something bad?”
I nod, staring at him, letting that sink in. “Yes, Dad. Your little princess did something bad.”
He studies me, trying to figure his way here. “Did you apologize?”
I think about it. Did I? I think I might have tried to, but he was so pissed, then I was so pissed, then I was gone. “I don’t know.”
“Shouldn’t you do that?”
My chest tightens, and I nod. “Yes, I should, but he told me he wanted me out of his life.”
“Is that what he said that hurt you?”
I run the pages of my book across my thumb. “I wasn’t his first choice to run this camp. Or his second, or his third, or maybe even his tenth or eleventh.”
“And that surprises you?” my dad asks
.
I look at him, stung again.
“I’m just asking. You two weren’t friends before this summer. Why do you think he would think of you first?”
“Because of my work at the center. That’s what he and Jeffrey said when they were selling the job to me. But turns out Vaughn wanted someone better…someone who could hang with him on the court.”
“And that’s unreasonable?”
I huff out a breath and resituate myself on the couch. “It just stung.”
He sits on the edge of his chair, his arms resting on his knees. “Sweetheart, I’ve tried so hard to provide a good life for you and be two parents in one. One reason I’ve always coached you is that I thought it was something we could do together…something we both really enjoyed. But I think I failed you along the way. I should have hired someone like Jeffrey for you a long time ago, but I was afraid of letting go. I thought I could do it, but I’m the one who failed you here, and I’m sorry.”
“Dad,” I say, my heart constricting at his words.
“No, it’s true. I’m overprotective. I’ve been that way ever since your mother died. I promised her I’d take care of you and never let anything happen to you, and I’ve never let a day go by that I haven’t reassured her I’m going to keep that promise. I just love you so much, and the idea of failing you, or her, is unfathomable to me. But I think I have.”
“You have not, Dad,” I say, swiping at my eyes. “You’ve been an unbelievably caring and thoughtful dad. I could never have asked for anything more than what you’ve given me.”
He smiles. “Have you improved this summer on your strokes?”
I nod. “Yes, I totally have.”
“Come on. Get on your tennis clothes. Let’s go to the club and hit some. I want to see what you’ve learned. And we’ll grab dinner there—in the restaurant, not from the concession stand.”
I smile. “Okay.”
…
My dad and I meet each other at the bench and collapse to rest. “I’ve missed indoor courts this summer.”
“Sweetheart, your strokes are unbelievable out there. I can’t believe how much faster you are on the court.”
“Jeffrey says I’ve been stagnant.”
“Not anymore. Man, I’m so sorry I never let him give you lessons before. Your one-handed backhand is strong. I can’t believe you’ve only been using it a few weeks.”
I smile. It’s nice to hear these things, even if it is just my dad saying them.
We both look over as someone comes through the backdrop, and I swallow hard as I see it’s Jeffrey. I look over at my dad, and he’s frowning in concern, but his face isn’t flushing, or maybe it is. It’s hard to tell since we just finished hitting.
“Carlyn, Mr. Sadowski.”
My dad stands and holds out his hand. “It’s Alan.”
“Alan,” Jeffrey says with a nod. He points up at the big window on the second floor that looks down on the courts. “I saw you two hitting. What do you think about that backhand?”
“It’s helping her get to more, I think.”
Jeffrey nods like that’s the right answer. “She’s coming along.”
My dad narrows his gaze, and I cringe. “Thank you for your work with her this summer.”
“I enjoyed working with her.”
“Do you have any open slots on your lessons schedule?” my dad asks, and I turn to him quickly.
“Dad, it’s okay—”
My dad lifts both his hands. “No, I’d like for you two to continue working together if he has availability.”
“Actually, I’ve been thinking, Carlyn,” Jeffrey says. “I do want to recommend you for the Avery team.”
My heartbeat soars. “What?”
“It’s silly for me not to. I’ve not changed my mind about you not being DI material, but I think you will be soon. You’re coming along fast, and you’re on the right track.” He points at me. “But if I do this, you have to promise me you won’t make me regret it.”
I swallow hard, taking it in. “I’d been thinking about the DII thing we talked about, actually, but now…” I trail off, not ready to finish that sentence.
He holds up a hand. “Don’t make any decisions right this minute. Think about the amount of work it will take to be DI material. It’s a lot to take on with your studies. But know I’m ready to make a call for you, whatever school you decide on.”
Jeffrey turns to my dad. “Alan, I also want to apologize to you. I spoke with Shannon Dunne this week. I knew she was seeing someone when I took her out, but I didn’t know it was you, and honestly, it wouldn’t have made a difference. I’m terribly sorry I was so reckless and that I helped to cause you and Carlyn pain. There’s no excuse, but I am going to try to do better in the future.”
My dad blinks, staring at Jeffrey like he’s seeing the eighth wonder of the world. “Thank you.”
Jeffrey nods. “Carlyn, let me know what you decide. You have my number.” He holds a hand up in a wave as he leaves the court.
My dad huffs a laugh. “Looks like you’re not the only one who’s improved over the summer. You must have really had an effect on him.”
I exhale another breath, thinking about the summer and getting to know Vaughn. I always crushed on him no differently than a girl does with a celebrity. But getting to know him as a real person with his own set of weaknesses…seeing what a special person he was completely outside of tennis…his work and caring for the kids, his kindness and his generosity, his willingness to sacrifice for me…it changed me. It made me fall in love for the first time.
“I think it’s the camp. It changed all of us.”
My dad sits back down and pulls the cover over his racquet. “Did Vaughn mature this summer, too?”
I sit next to him. “Maybe, or maybe I just never knew him past the hype.”
“And now that you do know him? How do you feel about him?”
It’s not a comfortable thing telling your dad how you feel about a boy. That seems more suited for mother-daughter talks. But I can’t let my dad do double-duty all these years and not share this with him. He’s earned it from me and so much more. “I love him, Dad.”
He exhales a breath through his mouth like he’s pushing something out of him. He meets my gaze. “So do you want to stay in Vaughn’s life?”
The backs of my eyes sting with tears. “Yeah, I do.”
He shoves his racquet in the bag. “Then you better apologize, and you better make it good.”
I smile at him, my heart filled with hope. “You better believe I will.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Vaughn
I couldn’t have found a girl more opposite from Carlyn to have at this camp than Sydney Topian. She’s got the kids running laps and if any of them steps out of line, they get push-ups. She’s got them under control. I’ll give her that. The boys love her because she never winds down…and she kicked my ass at football…and volleyball. There’s been no shortage of laughs at my expense this week.
She gets along with the girls, but she doesn’t connect with them in the same way Carlyn did. Yesterday, when Keisha asked if she could braid her hair, Sydney looked like someone asked her to solve world hunger. So I figured it out, unfortunately for Keisha. She’s walking around this place with her hair lopsided and falling apart because she’s too sweet to hurt my feelings by freeing her hair from my handiwork. She wouldn’t be so kind about it if she knew I told Carlyn to get out of my life.
I couldn’t help it. I’ve never felt like such a fool in my life. She’s been buttering me up all summer, not because she likes me, but because Jeffrey asked her to. She exchanged manipulation in return for lessons. Of all the shitty reasons girls have feigned interest to get close to me, this one ranks high on the list of shit…mostly because I totally fell for it this time.
I’m upset with myself. I can usually sniff out the phonies.
Sydney walks over to the table I’m sitting on. “Nancy and Fred have agreed to keep the
kids busy for an hour. Want to get some hits in?”
“I’m not in the mood.”
“Well get in the mood. I gave up the rest of my summer to save your ass. The least you can do is fulfill your end of the bargain.”
“You’re being paid.”
“You know I don’t need the money. I need practice with you. The best way for me to get better is to play up. And you’re up. So let’s go, pretty boy.”
She takes off toward the court, and I drag myself off the table. Nancy shoots me a glance that tells me I brought this on myself.
…
This tree limb is about to meet its death. I only have so much patience today. I’m at the top of this lookout tower thing to avoid thinking and feeling, but this leaf keeps taunting me, brushing the top of my head like it’s toying with me. It might as well join the club.
Fred comes through the tree line, and I don’t make eye contact with him. He sees me, though, because he heads this way. I guess even in the middle of nowhere, there’s no being alone. As Fred climbs the ladder to meet me up here, I drop my feet from the chair they were propped in so he can sit. Not that I want company, but this is his property, his lookout tower, his camp. I’m just renting it all from him, and that’s over in a week.
“I thought you might have headed home for the weekend like Sydney,” he says, hauling himself into the chair.
The leaf teases my head again, and I brush it away. “Not really a reason to.”
“When do you start Avery?”
I glance at him, and then look back at the lake, the dull pain in my chest bearing down harder on me. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m going there anymore.”
Fred frowns. “What are you talking about? That’s what this whole summer is about, right? Your scholarship requirements?”
Courting Carlyn Page 17
