“You haven’t seen Viv’s dancing; you might hope for a call-out before the night is through.” Her dad laughed at his own joke, which earned him a death stare from his wife.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s the one with two left feet.”
“As you can see, far from sensible,” Viv said as they headed out of the front door, where the snow was still coming down thickly.
“You sure about this?” Peter asked.
“Oh yes, what’s wrong with you, you big old bear? Paws too soft for a bit of cold snow?” Viv’s mom asked.
“It’s not my paws I’m worried about,” Peter said.
Tad linked arms with Viv and they set off along the path, and then followed the road, which was devoid of traffic. Around them, various other people appeared like wraiths in the night, the snow shrouding them as they all headed in the same direction.
“This is a big event for Bear Valley?” Tad asked, as more and more people came out of their houses.
“I guess so. But mainly it’s because there isn’t an awful lot else to do. The town has been cut off for the majority of people for a couple of weeks now. A lot of the older people don’t venture out further than the local shops if they can help it.” As Viv spoke, her breath clouded in the air, a sign of just how cold it was, but with Viv next to him, Tad felt warm; there was a fire inside him that she ignited with her touch.
“Then this is kind of like a release for everyone. They can get together, gossip, and catch up on what’s going on.”
They had reached the town hall now, and as they walked in through the big wooden doors, he realized he couldn’t be more wrong. There was no way you could gossip or talk very much at all, not when the band was playing such lively music, and the sound of feet dancing to the tune made the hall tremble.
“I don’t know what you’re like in Grizzly Hollows. But here in Bear Valley, a get-together is a lot livelier than small talk and gossip.” With that, Viv took hold of his hands, and pulled him forward into the crowd of dancers. Her parents were already moving around the dance floor, and soon became lost from view as they were swallowed up in amongst the swirling couples. It was as if the music had hypnotized everybody and was making them dance to its rhythm.
There was no time for words, as he swung her around, smiling at her happy face. But in a strange way, he was getting to know her, he learned how her body moved, how it felt to hold her in his arms and how soft her skin was when his fingers stroked it. And how she shivered in excitement at his touch.
The song stopped but immediately another one struck up, and they danced without stopping as if a spell had been put on them. If anyone had asked Tad before tonight, he would have laughed in their face if they had told him that a simple get-together like this could be so much fun.
Four dances later, as the music stopped, they both began moving to the edge of the room. She held his hand fast in hers as if she was scared of letting go, as other people swayed and gyrated to the band, which was still playing. He wondered where she was taking him. When they got to the edge of the room, he saw there were refreshments. He sure could do with a drink.
“Only soft drinks. So, a soda?” she asked and handed him some lemonade.
“Thanks,” he said. “Should we go and get some fresh air?”
“After this next song. It’s one of my favorites,” she said, drinking down her lemonade. “Are you ready?”
He looked into her excited face and knew he would always be ready for Viv.
Chapter Eleven – Viv
Viv was having fun. For the first time in the longest time, she felt normal. Well, as normal as a bear shifter ever did, when there were humans around. She could almost imagine that the episode with Rhys had never happened. That she was just a small-town girl having fun.
Whether that was because of the music and the dancing, or because Tad was holding her so close in his arms, she couldn’t say. And she didn’t care. Whatever the reason, she was going to embrace it, not just for tonight, but for the rest of her life.
Tad was offering her a new start, a fresh start. And no one could take that away from her, nobody had that power over her anymore.
His arm circled her waist and pulled her in closer as the music slowed. She rested her head on his shoulder and let her breathing slow. As they moved, she became aware of the beat of his heart, and she closed her eyes to listen to it, letting it comfort her. Steady and strong, just like Tad himself.
Yes, she was ready to be a small-town girl, with a small-town boy of her dreams. Not that there was anything small about Tad. He was six foot four, with bulging biceps, and a toned abdomen that her fingers itched to stroke.
Tad wrapped his other arm around her, his hand moving up to the nape of her neck, stroking the sensitive skin, sending shivers down her spine. He lowered his head, and his lips pressed against her cheek, small, soft kisses that stirred her soul. Sliding his hand around her neck, he followed the edge of her cardigan, trailing one finger across her skin. She lost herself to his touch, until she realized his finger was tracing the jagged edge of her scar.
Viv jerked back suddenly, pulling out of his arms. Her eyes flew to his, and she saw the bewilderment there. Before he could ask what was wrong, she had turned and moved away from him, threading her way through the body of people swaying in time to the music.
Her hand clutched the neck of her cardigan together, holding it tight to her neck. The sudden dawning in her mind that she wasn’t ready to share this part of herself with him was terrifying. She had gone from feeling normal and complete to feeling broken and a freak.
Over the music, she was sure she heard her voice calling her name, but like a coward, she didn’t even look back as she headed for the door.
The ice cold air hit her hard, and she stopped in her tracks as if someone had slapped her. She put her hands to her cheeks and stood there, willing herself not to cry. How could she still be allowing that man to ruin her life? This was her chance, Tad was her chance for a life of love and happiness. So what was wrong with her?
She lifted her head and looked out into the dark night. It was obvious, wasn’t it? He was still out there. For all she knew, he might be hiding in the dark right now, watching her, watching the poor pathetic creature she had become.
Her bear nudged her, but she ignored her, trying to sort through her emotions. Fear, guilt, and shame mixed up together to form a mass of seething self-hatred. Why had she let him hurt her, why had she let him ruin her life?
Her bear became insistent, telling her it wasn’t her fault. You are drowning in self-pity, her bear told her.
I can’t help it, she replied.
Yes, you can.
No, it’s easier this way, she said.
Why? her bear asked.
“Viv,” Tad said from behind her.
Because it’s easier to push him away, than for him to reject us, she told her bear, before turning to face her mate.
“Viv, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“I just needed some air,” she lied. “It’s too hot in there.”
“Then why don’t you take off your cardigan?” he asked, moving closer.
“No.” Her hand fingers dug deeper into woolen collar, holding it tighter together.
He smiled gently. “I know that you have a secret, something you’re afraid of.”
“How?” she asked, hoping neither of her parents had told him about Rhys.
“I can just tell, call it a bear thing.” He took a step towards her, and she had to fight not to run from him. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“It’s nothing,” she said, shrugging.
“I’m not going to force you to tell me, Viv, but when you’re ready, please let me in.”
Let him in. She wasn’t sure she knew how. Even her parents weren’t aware of exactly what Rhys had put her through. The weeks of stalking her, the days of texting her, telling her he was going to make sure no other man would want her. And the hours of holding her captive, before he
cut her with a knife. Only by luck had she gotten away.
“You know what? It’s you, us, this fated mates thing. I thought I was ready for it. But I’m not,” she said, tilting her chin in defiance, making herself believe the words she said, even if her bear roared in disbelief.
He smiled, and cocked his head to one side. “You are not supposed to lie to your mate.”
“I’m not lying,” she said. “I mean it. I want you to back off.”
Why hadn’t she been able to say that to Rhys, why hadn’t she been able to find the strength to stop him from hurting her?
“Listen, at least let me walk you home,” he said. “No strings, we don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to.”
She couldn’t say no, and really she didn’t want to say no. The closer he got to her, the harder it was to resist him, especially when her bear was telling her to take back what she had said.
“Thanks,” she said. They went back into the hall and she grabbed her purse and her coat. He stuck by her side, but didn’t push himself on her, didn’t touch her again. His honesty made her heart break: what was she doing?
“Are you going to tell your mom and dad we’re leaving?” he asked.
“I’ll text my mom when we’re outside,” she said, not wanting to ruin their evening. Viv knew that if her mom saw her face, and saw she was upset, her parents would come home with her. She didn’t want to spoil their fun.
Although there was another reason she didn’t want to tell her parents, it had to do with wanting to spend time alone with Tad. To give herself a chance to make it right with him. But then she would have to tell him. She closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the swirling maelstrom of conflict in her head.
As they walked back towards the exit, she had no idea if she was going to try to take back what she had said to Tad, or not.
They went back out into the cold night. Viv put her coat on, and pulled the hood up, not so much because she was cold but because she wanted to hide away. Away from the forlorn looks Tad kept giving her. True to his word, he didn’t touch her or even talk to her, which she began to find unbearable. The silence became something tangible, that she thought she would be able to reach and touch if she tried.
“I’m sorry,” she said at last. The words had been building up inside her, beating like a drum inside her brain until, if she hadn’t said them, her head would have exploded.
“It’s OK,” he replied. “When you’re ready, tell me. Nothing you say will change the way I feel about you.”
He took a step closer to her, still not touching her, but she wanted him to. She wanted him to hold her in his arms and kiss her until she forgot who she was. Then her bear prodded her again.
Why don’t you let me run with him? her bear suggested.
Of course, her bear was whole, complete, she didn’t carry the same scars, or if she did, they were hidden under thick fur, where they could never be seen.
She took her cell phone out of her pocket, and texted her mom. When the reply came through, she put it away. Trying to find her old self, who must still be hidden inside her somewhere, she gave him a teasing smile, she said to Tad. “Catch me if you can.”
He frowned, and then watched as she turned and ran off towards the path that led up into the mountains. The snow had stopped, so she couldn’t shift until she was under the cover of the trees.
And when she did, her bear took off into the cold starry night, with her mate in hot pursuit.
Chapter Twelve – Tad
Sometimes he thought the weather was easier to understand than women. First Viv had joined the site to look for her mate, and then she said she wasn’t ready. Now she wanted him to run after her into the night. He shook his head. Maybe he had been naive to think that once he found his mate, everything would slip into place. If he wanted to live happily ever after, he was going to have to work for it.
And he was OK with that, because it would be worth it. If only he could get her to trust him with her secret; he had a good idea that was what was behind her words earlier.
Ahead of him, he could see her climbing up the path onto the lower slopes of the mountain. He was glad she was taking her time, not putting herself in danger by going too fast, or being too reckless. Higher and higher they climbed. He could catch her if he wanted to. But he chose to hang back and let her lead him, let her be in charge.
Damn, he would love for her to take charge. He shook those thoughts away; he was not expecting sex, or anything close to it tonight or for the foreseeable future. He was not going to push her at all: they had the rest of their lives together.
Although his bear would really like her to drag him off to a cave in the mountains and mate with her. Oh, yeah, his bear agreed.
Tad chuckled to himself. He never thought he would find himself wanting to be bossed around by a woman, but if it made her feel better, he was all for it.
She was slowing now, and in two strides, he was next to her. The path had opened up, and they were heading along one of the open plains that ran parallel to Bear Valley. Tad brushed up against her, pressing his body close, and she turned to look at him and then rubbed her head against his shoulder.
His bear grinned, they were getting somewhere at last. They walked side by side for a hundred feet or so, and then she stopped, staring up at the stars above their heads. The moon was rising higher, casting its eerie glow across the snow covered ground. She sighed, and he longed to be able to hear her thoughts, to know what she was thinking in the same way as he always knew what his bear was thinking.
A melding of brains would make things so much easier. That way he would be able to know her innermost thoughts and know exactly what he had to do to help her.
Then the spell was broken, and she nipped him on the shoulder, and took off again at a loping pace. He got up, shook his tawny bear coat, and then ran after her. He had a good idea where she was heading and part of him began to believe he might get his wish after all.
Sure enough, she headed for a trail that climbed steeply, before switching back on itself. Viv didn’t slow, she kept going resolutely, as if she had made up her mind about something, and didn’t want to pause to allow herself to change her mind.
The path opened up and they were at the foot of a steep cliff. With powerful back legs, she launched herself up the steep incline, and climbed confidently, flurries of snow coming down to land at his feet, kicked up by her bear paws.
Tad stopped and collected his thoughts. He had a feeling she was about to share her secret with him, and he only hoped when she did, he would not ruin it, and make her feel worse. He had to trust in himself, and fate.
Climbing the first part of the cliff, he had to scramble a couple of times to stop himself from slipping. Up and up he went, until he could no longer see Viv, but he knew where she was going, there was only one place at the head of this path.
A large cave was hewn into the cliff side, and when he reached it, she was there, in her human form, looking pale and ethereal in the moonlight. She watched him approach, holding her hands out to touch his fur; he brushed against her and trembled as her fingers dug into his fur. She caressed him, leaning down to press her face into him and then she whispered, her voice very quiet, “I have something to show you.”
He shifted into his human form, and reached out to stroke her cheek, worried she was going to shy away from him. “Whatever it is. I’ll understand.” He was beginning to wonder if she had another kind of gift. If she was something else other than a shifter. Because other things must exist, surely?
If shifters existed in the world, although he had never seen any other kind of magic, it stood to reason it might exist.
She stood still, the moonlight streaming through the cave entrance to fall across her smooth skin, as she began to undo her cardigan. Her fingers trembled, and he wanted to reach out, to close his fingers around hers and help her, but he could see in her face that one wrong move by him would frighten her away.
Instead, Tad stood, h
ardly breathing as the last button was undone, and she pulled the cardigan off her shoulders. He would see the red jagged line of the scar he had felt earlier. Then she pulled her T-shirt over her head, to stand in front of him in only her bra and jeans, and he could see the true extent of her injury.
Chapter Thirteen – Viv
Tad stood looking at her, not saying a word. She tried to maintain eye contact, to read what he was thinking as he stared at her body. It took all her resolve not to cover herself back up; she had to know what he thought, if he could deal with the angry, red, ragged, flesh. She knew it would fade, that in a couple of years’ time it would probably be nothing more than a silvery thread across her skin. Yet the internal scars would be with her forever, there was no way to heal those.
He took a small step towards her, and she squeezed her T-shirt, which she still held in her hand, tightly, willing herself to stay still. If she ran now, she would never know his true feelings, because, given time, he would be able to control them, to hide the truth from her. She didn’t want the truth hidden anymore; it needed to be out in the open if they were going to have a life together.
“What happened?” he asked softly. She shook her head and couldn’t answer. So he asked, “Was it an accident?”
She shook her head again, and this time managed to answer, “No. There was nothing accidental about it.”
Rhys had known exactly what he was doing, he knew exactly the damage he was inflicting on her as he drew the sharp blade across her skin agonizingly slowly. He hadn’t slashed out in anger; he had put the tip of the knife against her collarbone and then slowly dragged it down towards her breast, splitting her skin.
She turned away from him, and began to pull the T-shirt over her head. This had been a mistake; she had hoped to clear the air between them, that by showing him her scar, it would make things all right. But it didn’t, all that was happening was that awful night was coming back to her. The memory so close it was as if it had happened yesterday.
Her Scars to Bear: BBW Bear Shifter Dating Agency Romance (Fated and Mated Book 1) Page 5
