all i ever wanted, you, myself—
re: i want.
how do the promise of heaven and the brokenness of earth correspond—
re: it will rain tonight.
will i have to kill (you) can i—
re: hold my hand i will steady you.
are you aphrodite, ares—a ghost, some god—
re: what can i know the dandelions have already dispersed.
i do not remember if only—
re: do not remember.
they killed her—
re: yes.
i hate them—
re: yes.
i will murder them—
re: yes.
i will not weep for it—
re: do not weep for it.
what can i give you—
re: what will i not take.
if this catastrophe is eternal—
re: it’s located in my body, yours, do not forget i will make you fiercest.
will i find you when it’s all over—
re: i will shed blood for it.
is it always permanent red can we breathe in all that red—
re: we will bathe in it.
i do fear—
re: i die by my own hand.
did we ever recognize each other—
re: i will cut you mark you.
let us be brave—
re: let us be badass.
YOU MUST ALWAYS FEED FROM THE BODIES
you must always feed from the bodies
grandmotheri refuse love i sin
weeping with earth’s knife i drop
this bodyand empty
myself
horrorhere! i! am!
our blood unrecognizes
each otherthe other
skinloud
boneloud eyeloud
this moonyour body
what’s left of itgriefdream—to know
i survived first: loyalty
you’ve grown
uglier
your hands covered with cuts—
each a long and short vowel
it’s timeta‘ei
ta‘ei—fe‘ai—fe‘ai
aeiou
fa
gala mo nu
pi sati
vi
o nowildness thievedi’ll speak / in english
to every awe
& embarrassment—
o most gifted eye do not
see the banality of this world
see only what grace lent
in unwise pegasusall eight
wings of the seraphim
avenge our griefwhat is left
what i believe
a skull falls to earthi carry
it aroundshow it the worldhere
heregreen proud hummingbird
fervor pinked skyhere
cicadas have swarmed
turtle is full
moths have lived
two dayspine marten plays
eats squirrel
mountain bones crumble
worn down by ice
the sudden erosion of a seabed: why
i murdered youthe power
of suggestionof inflection
of invocationlet me
have you
let me
have you
let me
have you
let me
have you
let me
have you
let me
have
tenderness—
teeth—
becauseother motheri see
your bodyboarbodysharkbodythe garden
woundsthe hunt or the hurtwhat bends (to)
an ideafire or word—what have i forgotten as a poet
of the empireor—
what narrow shame
what can i know a part from
the plot—
what can i know
take me back
take me backtake
my bodyslowly
into the sea
slowly into the seadon’t leave me
here
don’t leave me hereplease take
my body back into the sea
however slowly
slowly / a favorite lover’s kiss
the first leaf of each new tree after the snow melts
or joy
slowly / joy
mother’s dark hairher
sharpsharp tongueodin’s right eye gifted
grown from sacred vines
that temper i inherit
all green mischiefi queen
of poem
performing humility
tear the roots up
denounce what will healwill heal
each petal falls
each sounds woe
echothe clearing
thrilled cunts
and we are thrilled
and we are cuntsin true friendship
i singin griefsong
shed grieftears
shed griefsweathere
drinkrage
rage
rage
rage
(against the dying)
i live itknowingno mother
forced to translate the self out
white dress blue stockings first soulbe mother
hold mewe must
love each other or die
i take a showerkeep the mating ground clean
i eat i earn i ridin spring i open every window
too suddenlythe lungsgrasping
each day
you are meani must
guiltour building
unwitnesses our love
she weighs her heart against a fat rabbit
o pure heartyour romance unreliable
gathering the lost parts of her brothershe makes him
her hippopotamus
her loveface contorting
i seal my heart
in the belly
of a great reptile
everydayi feed it
everydaythrow it meat
pour water on its great green head
wipe smut from its early morning eyes
ou te alofa ia te oei tell it
i promisealofa ia te oe
i win the heartof a good goat
place it at your feet
i have undone the evildoermother
lay claim to this world
with closed lips drink this world
how willful these lips!
all men drop their own name!
i find achilles hiding among women
and make a prettypretty dress
out of his leanlean skin
i confess i lovealmost
successfullythis day’s sun cleanses
who i wasthe great danger
i might die
without
find my clean self
smear mud on my red gold horns—
stand mouth openmy own
animali prepare clean winecakes
baked into the shapes of other animals
to show gratitude
i know i will die terribly—
—what social inheritances don’t
baffleo sweet eel
long toothed devili know your loyaltystill
do not weepmotheryou have taught me
my own name
how to weigh my bones
deathanyway
let’s smile at what wealth
my new nostrils these necessary
nearnesses i love you
also this is my revenge
mother mother mother mother mother i murmur
i am your most fierce
warriormother do what
you will with me
i will do what you will
myselfan animal
no spot or stain
no truer bodygiving thanks
to the sacred fishat last
i arrange my kills
to control the soliloquy
that solitary distrust
my impatienceall skulls
neatly forward
my real selfall tender
tender red
protect my priestesses’
enemies from their failure
fill them with arrowspreserve
what goodness they offerput their
useful parts in jarslungjar
liverjar kidneyjar
when they are accustomed
to their sufferingi will teach them
it is realmadnesson my knees
i approach love
i holdi repeatholdrepeat
hold
all the bells say
too latemorning sun cuts
goats from an evergreen forestmy sisters fleenot wholly
animaltheir voices untimely
frostseeding errorsay ferocious
is the centipedesay i pretend
understandingsay do not let gomother!
your blood calls to me
my samoan blood!
i drinkredden myselfstand
hornedobey the storm’s wet
i leave fruitmy love
the soft underbelly of many foxes
motheri can speak to birds and
trees and blossoms
these orange flowers are their own evident
exaltation
my syntax mistakesi wrap myself in a coat
given to feelingi cry
o heart living by death
o noble temper tell me the word
that makes my heart groano call
not me to wound this wrongthe bluest
blueterrorcall not me for i am of
endless night and know no
sweet delights
baby let me
tell you some secret you
already
no.every secret
already wild. don’t
take it
tame. i don’t
want
just
any fight. do i
want
a pretty pink man-o-war
washed up on shoredon’t
touch
touch& you’ll never
make it home
sometimes the sea gives
sometimes she
takes
i won’t
warn you
(again)
how do i know
what you have
taken awayin the next book i will
know what i know about death
i will know what i know about affection
o guardian beast how often
my affection
falters!
i will know what i know about resisting
the meaningwhatever
it is that meansyet here
right nowsing—
sing with me—
either closer to hell or further from
can wesistersbeas beautiful
astoo much of a good thing
asi feel so deeply
there’s something in the air
o overripe banana!you heel!
bursting—bursting—bursting—to
burst forthfrom underneath
could i leave it all behind mother
could i just fall away / an evening fog
the tide coming in and out
shadows flickeringstretching towards—descending—
the descent i’m
tired of it
a violence or a love
me love me not love me love me not love me love me not lo
lo—lo—& behold!
she kills a bear
eats its hearttakes its strength
there’s pleasure here & an inability to communicate
as if it took more than a moment to figure out the killor
to come to terms with such live threshingor
she couldn’t bring herself to ityet wet evidence
the ooey-gooey between her toesblushing footprintsi dream
there’s snowthe snow is dirtynothing is out of sight
nothing is escapable—
would that this were sand—less traceable witness
suddenly it’s all so immortalso what
she makes a talisman of its lung—may i too
breathe clearly this winterunslept
may i too be so full—
the next daysuperstition or love or
she offers it to her sisters
here eat my heart
take this strengthbe so full
baby am i master
of what
i speakthat is
poetry
undescent—(is it indecent)
light, wound
glistening, duskam i
going to writethe grammar
whose tongue isdeath
or immortality
ah! AGAIN THESE CHOICES
did i love you(did i ever!)
profound beliefvibrant coral
the moth knows luxury
is such a human thing
mother gave me this body
this fine and useful life
today i return these parts to mother
the mirror of my heart reflects so softly the horrorfalse
experiencewhy do i recall your bones
mother rejects my first conclusion my fifth
she rejects my forwardness my affection
lionheaded motherit’s upon us
do you hear itsuch delicate sounds
reallybrother
you must always feed
from the bodies
i did love youagainst my every
domestic fearsounds like domination
sister your plastic lover pollutes our oceans
if it isn’t sustainable it will kill you
he will kill all of us
i love you
i am willing
to do this killingsister! mother! i bundle
wild sage chamomile my own
glimmering body safely put away
for just an occasionnow pass me
the bloodbowl i offer it to you full
swear an oath
i boil the silkwormremove its body
steal its silkfor the pyre
for youmotheri will restore you
even the first blue crocus
of springwhich i have kept safe
i burn
take your bloodsong
into myself
i sing
unattach my/self from the divine
am divineworld— does it meancourse of anyone’s life
mean forgive me these trespasses
mean forgive these worldly waysheavy reading is not
the same as heavy pettingif onlydo not worry mother
i have not lost sight—i place my good eye
at the trunk of the oldest treei mix
my mixed blood into the wings
my afakasi bloodi make
the pegasus red-winged—set her free
no need to escape—what state
of disorderis there some worse
form of life than this mirror-of-steel
uninsistence—
i didn’t notice the horse-backed rider
i fail us
all my goats are dead
i wash their still
soft headstear open
the darknesslearn its
alphabetthe rich soil
is not a dead thing
my goats shed their skin
i shed my own cocoon
the fresh skinno longer
jove’s costume
i dance
deliberately
smack the earth
with my bare feet
an occasion a quickening
brother
beat the drum for me
o unlearned feelings! crisis! do not
lamentthe last yellow
petals of spring have
fallenchasm!rupture!
&nb
sp; what sacrifice will turn
your headalready
my daughter learns her image
records the way she looks
whenever she looks at herself
repeats her imagedirty satyr!
i weep for slights
insults unavenged
vengeance! come!
here! i am dangerous
here! gone mad
here! gone homemother!
all-mother!i’m so scared i imagine immediate
redimmediate red immediate red
destroyer of the vinei imagine
the bowbentevil
faced two ways
twice brokenreaving
i keep the woundopen
uncoveredto take refuge
wolves winter overmy fear my womb
feeds itselfmakes me a knifemost delicate pearl
layered treasure sunken each anemone sacrificing their desire—
layered angler-fish-glow deep sea camouflage deep sea poison—
each gesture most delicate blue braided into
bladewhat violent delightfulness
Splinters Are Children of Wood Page 3
