by Tessa Teevan
I was thrilled to be in the movie. Beyond thrilled. Not just because it had brought me back to Cincinnati and Tucker, but because it was also my first role in a major motion picture. After so many small parts, landing this huge one was beyond my wildest dreams and I needed to stay focused. I had high hopes that this role would change the way I’d been viewing my career lately. The last thing I needed was a distraction.
But, as much as I was willing to pour my heart and soul into the part, I was going to do the same with him. If he let me. But the scowl on his face at the moment? I wasn’t so sure he was going to.
“Well, umm, I guess I’ll see you around?” Without waiting for his response, I turned around to make my exit.
“Your dad coming?” he surprised me by asking Then he surprised me even further as he walked alongside me towards baggage claim.
I took a moment to check my phone, sighing when I saw I’d missed a text from my dad. “He got held up at a showing,” I responded, trying to mask my disappointment.
Dad was one of the city’s most successful realtors, so it wasn’t shocking some client had delayed him from picking me up. Right then, nothing sounded better than a Jeremy Banks hug, but it appeared nothing was going my way.
“I’ll just catch a cab.”
“I’ll take you.”
I stopped in my tracks and gaped at him, probably looking like an idiot with my mouth wide open, eyes rounded, and my head cocked to the side like he’d just said something in a foreign language and I was having trouble grasping the concept. “You…you will?”
“We’re neighbors, Ava. It only makes sense.”
“Okay. Umm, I appreciate it.” I nodded, unsure of what to do with this extra time with a man who so clearly didn’t want to be around me. Yet, selfishly, I’d accepted his offer, hoping I could use the ride as a way to somehow get him to warm up to me. After all, as he’d said, we’re neighbors, and if I had my way, we’d be seeing much more of each other over the next few months.
We stood in silence, waiting for my luggage. The air was thick with tension, as neither of us spoke a word. Just as I was about to ask what he was doing at the airport, I spotted my luggage and moved to grab it.
“Shit,” he mumbled.
I turned and saw a beautiful redhead waving to Tucker from across the terminal. All he gave her in response was a small chin lift, but it was enough for her. I could practically see the way she was melting from the simple yet super macho act.
Which, if I was honest, was pretty damn hot. But, since it hadn’t been directed at me, it wasn’t sexy. Nope, it was rude.
“Friend of yours?” I asked wryly. The jealousy in my tone was evident and I didn’t even care. Maybe it would be nice for him to know I was jealous. It’d let him know I still cared, right?
His gaze left hers, and his eyes, no longer indifferent but narrowed, locked in on mine. “Does it matter?” he challenged, crossing his arms firmly over his chest.
Even though it was utterly shameless, I ignored the question and decided to study him instead. The bulge of his biceps was alluring. Muscles he’d never had before had appeared over the last five years, a dark, golden tan highlighting them. Thanks to his new career, I presumed. His hands, from what I could see of them, appeared rough and callused, and the sight sprang tears to my eyes. Those hands were meant for typing, crafting stories for the world to read. Not swinging a hammer and carrying drywall. It was just another reminder of how much our lives had so drastically changed. How our plans had been wrecked the day his parents had died.
The day his dreams had died.
A throat cleared. My cheeks burned because he’d caught me checking him out.
He shook his head. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Then he turned on his heel and made his way towards the door.
It took a moment to remember that he’d asked a question, and instead of answering, I’d stupidly just eye-banged him. Yeah, the reunion was definitely not going like I’d planned, and suddenly, the idea of sitting in the car with him on the half-hour drive home was no longer appealing.
Ava was home.
Yeah, it’d been my intention to make that one thing happen, but I hadn’t expected the impact of actually seeing her return. Especially when I hadn’t been prepared for it.
According to the studio, filming wasn’t supposed to start for another two weeks. I’d assumed I still had some time, but no. There she was, and instead of embracing her, I’d acted like a complete jackass.
It was a sucker-punch to the gut, seeing her again for the first time. I’d just dropped off James, one of my most trusted foremen, who was catching a flight to Chicago to spend the weekend at his sister’s wedding. I’d been about to leave when I’d gotten a text from Tanner, telling me all was well at the site and to take it easy for the night. I’d laughed because, if I hadn’t known better, Tanner was ready to push me aside and take the business right out from under me.
Which was precisely what he was doing, but he wouldn’t get the chance for another few years, not until he was done with business school. Our parents had wanted that for both of us, and even though I’d once wanted a journalism degree, going back to school wasn’t in the cards for me. That didn’t mean Tanner wasn’t going to go. We both knew that eventually I did want him to take over the business. Instead of going to school, I’d spent my free time crafting Those Three Words. I never, in a million years, had thought it would become a number-one New York Times best-seller. I sure as hell had never thought it’d be made into a major motion picture, one of which I was the screenwriter and had been given control over casting and certain elements of direction.
The windfall from the book and selling the film rights was more than I’d ever need, so being set for life meant I could pass the business onto Tanner and pursue my new dream of storytelling. He just wasn’t ready for it.
After typing out a quick response, I’d pocketed my phone and glanced up to see if James had made it through security yet. But it wasn’t James I saw.
Nope. Instead, I was gut-punched by a breathtaking ghost from my past.
For the first time in five years, Ava Banks was standing in front of me, and she was prettier than she’d been at eighteen. She was more beautiful than all her pictures in magazines or in the commercials. And she was home, standing less than ten feet away from me, clearly as stunned as I was.
I should’ve crossed the room, taken her into my arms, and begged her never to leave me again. I should’ve kissed those pouty, pink lips senseless and poured every ounce of longing and regret into it until she knew just how much I’d missed her. I should’ve done anything except act like an indifferent ass.
But that’s what I had done, and I was still kicking myself for it, even as I walked away from her at baggage claim.
Seeing her at the airport completely caught me off guard, and in turn, I was a prick. I knew she was set to return soon and I thought I’d prepared myself. Obviously, I hadn’t, even if I’d been the one to set this whole thing up. It should have gone differently. I’d envisioned our reunion going entirely different, possibly in the treehouse where we spent so much time as kids where I could hopefully plead my case and win her back.
Instead, the moment our eyes had locked, I was transported back in my house, five years earlier, a heartbroken eighteen-year-old kid, watching her walk away from me. The pain of her loss hadn’t faded even in the slightest bit, and while I stood there, seeing her face-to-face for the first time in so long, it slammed back into me with a force I hadn’t expected.
I’d brought Ava back, and suddenly, I was scared. Scared to let her back in so easily. Yet utterly terrified of what would happen if I didn’t. It was confliction at its finest.
I was leaning against the wall outside the terminal when she came out, rolling a suitcase behind her. She avoided my gaze and scrambled past me, making a beeline for the first available cab. I didn’t blame her, but there was no way I was letting her get away from me again. Not this time.
Sh
e cursed when I darted across the sidewalk. Then I yanked her suitcase from the cab driver’s hand, grabbed Ava’s, and led her to the parking garage.
“Hey!” she yelled, squirming to get out of my grasp.
I simply held her tighter, not letting go until we were at the back of my truck. I tossed her luggage in the bed, rounded the cab, and yanked the door before lifting her up. I didn’t take my hand off her while I buckled her in. Without a word, I closed the door and jogged around the truck. Then I locked her in and pulled out of the parking space before she could protest.
“Jesus, Tucker, what’s gotten into you?” she huffed. “Since when did you start manhandling women and kidnapping them from airports?”
“Since about five minutes ago,” I told her.
She scoffed, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tiniest hint of a smile on her face. It was enough to get me to turn and face her, drinking in the sight of her. Her golden blonde hair was long enough to cover the swell of breasts that had blossomed since she’d been gone. The sight creamy skin hadn’t tanned in the California sun, and the sight of a rosy flush on her cheeks sent a jolt of arousal straight to my groin.
With one hand on the steering wheel, I used my other brush a lock of hair behind her ears. Her warm skin reminded me of my mom’s favorite lamb wool blanket, soft and inviting in such a way I wanted to wrap myself up in it. If we weren’t sitting at a stoplight that could’ve switched to green anytime, I would’ve probably been across the truck and kissing it. But, instead, I removed my hand and sighed, not wanting to come on too strong, too quickly.
“Look, that was a dick move back there.”
That earned me an eyebrow raise and a small twitch of her lips, almost as if she were fighting a smile. God, what I wouldn’t have given for a heartwarming—and dick-hardening—Ava Banks cheeky grin right about then.
“What was?” she asked sweetly, though we both knew damn well what I was talking about. “Oh, the redhead, you mean?”
She tried to hide it, but I didn’t miss the way her nostrils flared a little. Which meant she was jealous. Which meant there had to still be something there, right?
“So, it does matter?” I asked, unable to help myself. I had to know if there was still a chance, and while I’d wanted to play it cool, I couldn’t wait any longer.
“Maybe.”
It was all she gave me. It was all I needed.
We settled into comfortable silence. It was surreal that Ava was in my truck and we were driving along the familiar highway that led back into the city just like we’d done so many times before. She was finally there. Finally with me. And I had no clue how I was going to play this. I’d told myself that, if she came back, I’d be cool. I wouldn’t go in guns blazing and tell her how I felt. I hadn’t wanted to put myself out there again, not when I’d been the one who’d wanted us to be together all along. No, I wanted Ava to pursue me, to be the one chasing. It was cowardly, not wanting to risk heartbreak all over again, but it’s what I’d told myself I needed to do. But then I saw her again and all of that went out the window.
I was on the verge of saying something stupid when I glanced over. Her eyes widened at the sight of Cincinnati before us. The Reds were playing a home game, and Great American Ball Park was lit up, creating a beautiful sight on the city skyline.
“God, I’ve missed this,” she breathed. A tear trickled down her cheek, emphasizing her sentiment.
That tear was my undoing. I couldn’t help myself. I had to know why a girl who had always been close with her family, who’d given me up because she hadn’t wanted to ruin our friendship but had anyway, had stayed away for all these years.
“Then why have you stayed away for so long?” I asked.
Her gaze slid to me. She sighed then stared straight out the window ahead of her. “Because.”
That should have been enough, but now that she was here, it wasn’t. I knew how close Ava was with her family, yet she hadn’t been back to Ohio in over four years.
“Why?” I pressed.
“Because of you.”
Her quiet answer caught me off guard. Me? What had I done? I wanted to ask for more, but when I looked over, Ava’s gaze was focused out the window, her body angled away from me completely. The message was loud and clear. This conversation was over. Our earlier comfortable silence was now tense, the air in the truck thick as each mile passed without a word spoken. It wasn’t until I was on our street that I couldn’t stand it anymore. During the entire drive, I’d been racking my brain to understand how I could’ve been the reason Ava had stayed away for so long. Once the car was in park, I turned to her. My gaze wandered over her, and I appreciated the way five years had blossomed the beautiful, young girl into this now gorgeous, breathtaking woman. A woman, I’d realized, I needed more than the air I breathed.
“Why, Ava?” I persisted. I needed to know. As much as I thought she needed my words, I needed hers, too. I needed to hear her say it out loud.
Her short intake of breath was the only response to my question. She didn’t look at me as she nibbled on her lower lip, a nervous habit she’d clearly not broken.
When her eyes rose to meet mine, sorrow I hadn’t expected to see was there. As if I’d been the one to break her heart. It didn’t make any sense.
“You, Tucker. You’re the reason I stayed away. When I left, I thought I was doing the right thing. We’d settle back into our friendship. Laughter, phone calls, and when I came home, we’d be us again. And in five years, we could finally be together. But, instead, I never heard from you. You never returned my calls or answered my texts. You avoided me the first couple of times I came home, and that hurt. More than you can imagine. So I stopped calling. I stopped texting. And I never came home again.”
Her words were like a sucker-punch. Maybe I could’ve returned a phone call. Maybe I could’ve answered her texts. But, whenever she’d reached out, all I could remember was the sight of her crying as she’d told me that we couldn’t be together. That she’d loved me, but it hadn’t been enough. Being without her had been hard enough without pretending I could just be friends with her. At the time, I hadn’t thought I could handle hearing about her college life, the parties, the boyfriends. So, instead, I’d made it so I’d heard nothing at all.
If I could take it back, I absolutely would. I learned the hard way that having her in my life even as just a friend would’ve been better than not having her at all. But she had to understand why I’d stayed away, too. That it hadn’t been easy for me.
“I doubt it’s more than I can imagine. The gut-wrenching anguish I endured when you walked away from me after my parents had died? That’s pain I’d never wish upon anyone. Not my worst enemy. Not you. So, yeah, I can more than imagine the pain. I lived it. Which is why I couldn’t see you.”
She swallowed hard as shimmery tears threatened to spill onto her cheeks. “And now?” she wondered, her hand hesitating on the door handle, where she was readying her escape if she needed one.
“Now?” I repeated, running a hand through my hair, unsure of how to answer her without scaring her the hell away. Without scaring myself with the truth. Nothing had changed over the course of five years.
I wanted her.
I craved her.
I had fallen in love with Ava Banks when I was a kid, and it was a love that had consumed me for years, burning, twisting, and soaring until I had been enveloped in such a way that I’d never break free. I’d never want to.
Hell, at that very moment, I wanted to forget all conversation and haul her in my arms, and at long last kiss the lips I’d been dreaming about for the past five years. The only lips I’d ever wanted to kiss. The first time she’d placed her lips on mine, I had been captivated. She’d captured me, marking me as hers, and for the rest of my life, my lips were for hers only. That was why it was so hard to resist her. It was also why it hurt being so near to her when there was still this huge canyon between us.
“Tucker?”
&nbs
p; My name on her lips instantly brought me back to the present. She was waiting for the response to a question I’d just found the answer to.
“Now? Now, I know why,” I said. “You destroyed me when you left. Each day was supposed to be easier, because each day was one further removed from my parents, from my grief. But it never got easier, because every day that passed, every day I was supposed to heal, was another day without you. There were days I’d wished I’d been on that boat, Ava.” I cleared my throat from the thickness of my emotion.
Ava was watching me intently, tears streaming from her eyes. It was a shitty thing to do, but I wasn’t trying to make her feel guilty. I was trying to be honest.
“Out of nowhere, it hit me at the airport why I stayed away. Why I couldn’t be near you.” My throat burned from the pain of the truth. “Because seeing you? Being here now and being this close to you without being able to touch you, to feel you? Knowing you’re no longer mine? That hurts worse than anything I’ve ever felt before.”
I’D TRIED SO HARD TO keep the tears at bay, but I could no longer hold them back. As Tucker revealed his truth, his voice gruff and brimming with a range of emotion, my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. The depth of his pain was so raw, so evident, and I’d been the cause of it. At that moment, I hated myself and vowed to make it right again.
Because, even though he’d just revealed why he’d avoided me for so long, he’d also spoken the words I’d needed to hear. The mask of indifference had melted away and shown me the truth. It was enough to know he hadn’t moved on. Or, at least, there was still some part of him that wanted me. I could work with that. I would work with that.
“Tucker,” I whispered, unbuckling my seat belt and sliding across the cab to be closer to him. To show him he could have what he wanted. To let him known I was still his. I always had been.
The air between us was thick with unspoken tension, unspoken emotion, and all I wanted to do was climb onto his lap, hold him close, and kiss him. Feel those lips against mine once again. To know that I had my best friend, the boy I’d loved, back in my life again.
