I can feel the anger rolling off his body as he tries to calm down. After what seems like an eternity, I finally feel him relax into me.
“Oh Ella,” Ryder sighs as he pulls me down to the couch. “There’s just too much shit goin’ on. I never wanted any of this. None. Fuck!” he growls out.
“Ryder, I’m here for you no matter what. You’re going to trash this place if you keep everything bottled up like that.”
“Can’t bring you in any deeper than you are now.”
“Hun, you’re starting to scare me,” I say. “We aren’t in danger are we?”
“No, nothin’ like that. Not yet anyways. Babe, I wanna share, but I think it’s too heavy. I can’t have you worryin’ about shit you can’t do anything ‘bout.”
“If it’s on your mind, I want to talk about it. No secrets or lies between us; I want us to be completely honest with each other,” I confide in him.
“You don’t even realize what you’re askin’ me for,” Ryder spits out.
“Ryder, if we’re together, then we’re in this, whatever it is, together.”
“What are you doin’ to me, woman?” Ryder sighs then goes on to add, “It’s the club.”
Well that certainly clears everything up, doesn’t it? This is harder than pulling teeth from a toothless man. When I say no secrets between me and Ryder, that’s what I mean. I can’t even think about planning a future with someone who’s going to keep stuff from me. If it has to do with him, it affects me, too. Hiding things turns into lying, which turns into a situation I can’t deal with.
“You’re going to think less of me. I can’t have that. I already think you deserve better, I don’t need you thinkin’ the same,” Ryder grumbles.
“If I thought you were someone I didn’t deserve, I wouldn’t be spending time with you. I’ve done that before, I know what I deserve now,” I reassure him.
“Promise to hear out the whole story?” he questions.
“Of course, I want us to be able to talk openly about anything.”
“The club wants to get into serious shit. Fuck, this is really hard, babe.”
I sit quietly, hoping that my silence encourages him to share more.
“The bar is mine. The club frequents it on a steady basis. I contribute part of the earnings back into the club. This only provides a small bit of our income. The largest funds come from drug sales. Nothin’ too serious, we just feed weed to some local drug dealers. We play the middleman between the farmer and the distributer, so to speak. It’s not bad, but it’s not good… You still following me, babe?” Ryder watches my face intently, searching for any sign of disgust.
Am I surprised? No. I knew they had to be funding the club from somewhere and chances are a biker gang is not involved in entirely legal activities. I can handle weed. I know plenty of people that have used it themselves and honestly, a little pot never really hurt anyone, right? Yes, having a drug dealing, badass biker boyfriend is kind of a downer, but if that’s his worst crime, it’s not that bad. I got this. Ryder and pot. Yeah, I got this, nothing to lose my cool over. It could be worse, right?
I finish taking in the developments so far and nod towards Ryder, hoping he takes this as a sign to continue. He does.
“As President, I never wanted to take on more, to expand. Axel, on the other hand, has always been hell-bent towards expansion. Tonight he crossed the line as VP. He proposed a couple new ventures for the club to take on to earn more. We’re not hurting cash wise, but once some people see the green, they lose sight of everything else. He raised the idea of workin’ our way into the deeper, seedier drug scene. Apparently he’s been making contacts within the drug world prepping for our big move. And to top it off, he even mentioned dipping into pimp territory. He’s got to be fuckin’ jokin’. We are not a big city gang. We’re small time. We do what we do, so we can live the life we’re livin’. How can we ask for more? The more money we make, the more problems we’re gonna have. This shit is ridiculous.” Ryder is getting more and more agitated as he speaks.
“To end the night on a high note, Axel held a vote. That shit does not fuckin’ fly with me. I was blindsided. That son of a bitch, it’s been me and him since foster care. Now I have to defend why I can’t have us partnering with the underground druggies. If I had anyone else as VP they would be done. DONE! It took every argument I had to convince the club not to vote. That no amount of cash is worth the fuckin’ shit we’re going to get into if anything goes wrong with this.”
This is my reminder never to double-cross a club member. This is also my reminder never to do anything to piss my man off. His rage is starting to ripple through the air again. This is not how I want my badass biker man coming home to me. Whatever shit this is, it better be dealt with fast and in the manner Ryder sees as fair.
Ryder remains quiet. I sense that this is all I’m going to get out of him tonight. I can’t push him into saying things he’s not ready to share. I know I said no secrets, but this was a pretty big bombshell. I think the no secrets rule is good for a little while now.
“Ryder, you don’t know how much it means to me that you trusted me with that information,” I say. “This shit sounds serious, and I want to help however I can, I just don’t know if I can do more than offer you my ear. I need you to trust me and I need you to know that it’s me and you in this together. You have me to lean on now. And I’ll do whatever I can to help you get through this with the club still intact.”
“Babe, the only thing I need from you right now after I laid that shit on you and all you did was listen, not run, but listen, is for you to not worry about my club issues.”
After all this serious talk I was exhausted. I was ready for a change of subject and thought of the perfect distraction.
“To show you how much I’m not going to run, I want to share another first with you.” I smirk at Ryder.
“Hmm?” He questions, quirking one eyebrow in my direction.
“You have all this pent up energy, and I’ve never had angry sex before, let alone angry sex with my hot biker boyfriend,” I suggest playfully.
With that Ryder throws me into his arms and stands up. My legs wrap around his waist as he walks us down the hall into the bedroom. I don’t like seeing him in this dark mood, but if it helps, I’ll take advantage of any situation involving my man. With that thought, Ryder covers my mouth with his and the rest of the night passes by with intense angry passion.
Chapter 15
Going For a Run
Since his episode earlier in the week, Ryder hasn’t mentioned much about the club. I’m glad he opened up to me about it, and I can tell he feels more relieved not having to hide his emotions from me.
It’s Thursday night and Ryder is working at the bar. It’s an unseasonably warm fall evening and with nothing else to do, I decide to go for a run. I’ve clocked the distance to the bar from Ryder’s place before and I figure I can make the run in about 45 minutes, just in time to catch Ryder coming off his shift so he can drive us both home.
I change into a pair of running shorts, tank top and a light weight hoodie.
I lace up my sneakers, slip my earphones in, and skim through my playlist. It definitely feels like “The Pretty Reckless” kinda run. Nothing is better than pounding the pavement with the drums and guitars blaring in the background while one of my fave girl rockers belts it out.
It’s going to be good to get some exercise and fresh air. It’s also nice to know I’ll have a tail too just in case anything happens. You can never be too sure, at least lately.
I exit the house and look around for Axel. I can’t see his bike or him, even. I guess it means he’s doing a good job? Who knows what exactly their directions from Ryder were. I feel a pair of eyes on me, so I scan the area again. Maybe he’s just hiding in the shadows. No luck. Shit, I’m not going to waste my time trying to find my follower. I need to clock some serious mileage; it’s been way to long!
I warm up with a brisk walk, feeling the warmth
spread over my muscles. I feel uneasy and scan the area again. Something feels off. This whole feeling like I’m being watched is getting kind of creepy. I know it’s just one of Ryder’s guys, but still. Creepy. As. Fuck. I try to shrug my feelings off.
“Miss Nothing” begins to play on my iPod and I start picking up speed. My legs protest a little, but nothing I can’t work out. Over the sound of my music, I can’t hear anything besides my heartbeat. I wonder how close Axel is keeping to me. He can definitely overtake me with his bike, but I can’t here the rumbles of his Harley. I find it really hard to imagine Axel jogging behind me. He doesn’t really strike me as the athletic type. As long as no one thinks he’s stalking me and calls the cops, this should be a pretty good run.
Finding my groove with the playlist, I zone out and eventually find myself getting closer to the downtown district. I can still feel eyes on me, but being in a more populated area of town makes me less wary. All of a sudden I’m pushed into a dark neighboring alleyway.
What the hell?
I’m slammed face first against the brick wall. A pair of arms wraps tightly around me and a body crushes me to the rough surface. I start to struggle, but my attacker’s hold tightens and he leans into me and whispers huskily, “Where’s your bartender now?”
With that I start screaming. He quickly clamps a hand over my mouth, while his other hand reaches for the waistband of my running shorts. He unties the drawstring and starts tugging them down when I hear a door bust open and someone curse. My attacker tightens his grip on my mouth and whispers, “Keep quiet.”
I take this opportunity to bite down hard on his hand, drawing blood.
“FUCK!” he yells, loosening his hold on me.
I break free and run towards the open door without looking back, screaming for someone to help me. I bring up solid on someone. When I glance up I recognize the person as Blaine Rowe, one of my students.
“What the fuck. Ms. Scott, are you okay?” he asks full of concern.
I’m too shaken up to answer him. With panic in his eyes he ushers me into his family’s restaurant. He sits me down in what looks like the main office, and calls for his dad. I think I’m going into shock. My brain can’t seem to connect with my mouth to form the words I need it to. Ryder. I need Ryder.
“Ryder.” Finally, I manage to choke his name out.
Blaine’s dad storms into the room and I hear him explain to his father what just happened.
“Ryder. I need Ryder.” All I can focus on is his name. I need him. Now.
“Shit, you’re Ryder’s woman.” I nod. “Blaine, call Wilde Ride, tell Ryder we need him here, now!” his father instructs.
Blaine picks up the phone and calls the bar. He only gets a few words out before he looks at the phone with a confused look. “He just hung up on me.”
The recent events finally catch up to me and I start crying. And not just cry, I sob. The kid and his father grab me a glass of water and tissues and try to comfort me as best as they can. Not even a minute later, I hear a commotion in the main part of the restaurant and my name being yelled. Blaine and his father walk out to bring Ryder back to me.
I stand up with shaky legs and make my way out in the direction of his voice, desperate to feel safe in his arms again. “What the fuck happened?” I can hear him ask.
“I don’t know. I was going out in the alley to dump some trash bags, when I heard someone curse and next thing I know Ms. Scott is screaming and running towards me and some guy is running in the opposite direction. She was so freaked out when I brought her in the building. All she could say was that she needed you. Dad told me to call you immediately,” he explains.
“Did you see what happened?”
“I really didn’t see a whole lot. It’s really dark in the alley, man,” Blaine says.
“Come on, dude. You must have seen somethin’. Use that fuckin’ brain of yours and think real hard.”
“Blaine, if you remember seeing anything that might help Ryder, please tell him,” his father coaxes.
“Well, the guy was wearing track pants and a black Del Mar Regional High School hoodie. Does that help?”
Oh my God! It was Brent! That would explain the comment about where my bartender was. I was so scared at the time of the attack that I never really connected the dots.
“Jesus Christ! That fuckin’ little shit,” Ryder hisses. Obviously, Ryder just connected them.
I take that moment to walk out into the short corridor that leads to the kitchen prep area. With my tear-swollen eyes pointed down to the floor, I walk straight over to Ryder and put my arms around his waist and shove my face into his chest. His chest and shirt muffle my choked sobs, while Ryder strokes my back.
Suddenly, he hooks my legs with one of his arms and the other behind my back and he lifts me up against his body. My arms wrap tightly around his neck and I continue crying. I feel movement and the next thing I know, Ryder is putting me into the seat of his truck and buckling me in.
The only sounds made during the ride back to Ryder’s house are of me crying and Ryder’s heavy breathing. I can tell he’s really and truly pissed, but he’s trying to control himself for me. One of his hands is on the steering wheel and the other gently stroking my thigh.
We pull into the driveway and he shuts the truck off and takes the keys out of the ignition. We sit in the truck for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. I can sense that he’s looking at me, so I turn my head in his direction and look into his steely blue eyes. I break the silence first by saying, “I’m so sorry, Ryder.”
“Got nothin’ to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong, baby,” he says soothingly.
“I shouldn’t have gone for a run. It was just a boring night and I wanted to run into town and meet you at the bar.”
“So, are you not allowed to do that now? You didn’t ask for some fuckin’ ass wipe to attack you, Ella. You should be able to go for a jog whenever the fuck you want. Obviously, the prick did not receive my earlier message.”
“Ryder, I thought Axel or one of the other guys would be following me like they usually do, but no one was around.”
Ryder raises his eyebrows and says, “Not sure who was supposed to be tailin’ you, but I’m gonna find out where the fuck they were that was more important than looking after my girl.”
“Ryder.”
“Yeah?”
“Can we go inside now?” I ask.
“Sure, baby.”
He opens his door and hops out of the truck walking over to the passenger side. Opening the door, he grabs my legs, turning my body and tugging me to the edge of the seat. His arms hook behind my knees again and before I know it, I’m in his arms again as he carries me towards the house.
Once inside the house, he continues down the hallway into the bedroom. He gently sits me on the edge of the bed and kneels down on the floor in front of me.
“Baby, you’re freezin’ cold. I’m gonna run a hot bath to warm you up. Be right back,” he says as he stands up and walks towards the bathroom. That’s when I look down at my hands and see myself shaking. I don’t know if it’s because I’m actually cold or if it’s because I’m still in shock.
A couple of minutes later, Ryder comes back into the bedroom and helps me stand up on my wobbly legs. He leads me into the bathroom and I see the tub is almost full as he leans over and turns the water off.
Turning to face me, he hauls my hoodie down my shoulders and off my arms. He grips the edge of my tank and hauls it over my head, then removes my running shorts, underwear, bra, sneakers and socks, throwing them all in a pile on the bathroom floor. He then surprises me by removing his own clothing and adds it to the same pile.
He steps into the tub and then eases himself down until he’s immersed in the hot water. His hand reaches up and out, beckoning me to grab ahold of it. My arm stretches out and I grab onto his hand and he gently guides me into the water. He shifts my body so that I’m straddling him and I instantly stiffen. With every
thing that’s happened this evening, I’m not really in the mood, even if it is Ryder.
“Babe, don’t freak out. I’m not about to maul you. This is not about sex, okay. Trust me.”
“I do trust you,” I murmur into his neck. And because our bodies are so close together, I realize that what he’s saying is true. We are pressed together, front to front, and he’s not aroused. This is about him comforting me, nothing else.
We sit like that for about ten minutes with him whispering soothing words into my ear and stroking my back. When my body has completely relaxed, he begins to gently lather body wash between his rough hands and takes his time gently washing my body from head to toe. I then return the favor. Once we’ve rinsed each other off and the water has started to cool, Ryder helps me out of the tub and then dries me off with a fluffy white towel.
After I’m completely dried off, he wraps me up in the towel and carries me to the bedroom. Ryder sets my feet down on the floor as I watch him turn the comforter and sheets down. He walks back to me and slowly removes the towel and picks me up again, placing me in the center of the bed. He drops the towel from around his waist and crawls in beside me, so that’s he’s spooning me and pulls the sheet and comforter back over us.
“Wanna feel your skin against mine, baby. So that I can feel you here with me and know you’re safe in my arms,” he whispers against the back of my neck. I need that too, so badly.
We lie there for a while, when suddenly Ryder says, “Baby, I won’t ever let anything happen to you. You gotta believe that. I will track this fucker down and end him, if I have to.”
My only response is to start crying again. I turn around and nestle my face into his chest as I continue to sob. I’m not sure how long I did this for because at some point, I actually cried myself to sleep.
***
I try to open my heavy eyelids, but it’s a difficult task. Finally, managing to pry them open, I notice Ryder isn’t in the bed with me. Missing the warmth and security of his arms, I get out of bed to find my man.
Before I do that though, I have a sudden need to use the washroom. As I walk into the bathroom and pass by the vanity, I look at my reflection in the mirror. Yikes! I look like hell! My eyelids are red and swollen from my crying fit last night. Grabbing a washcloth, I run it under the cold water and press it against my eyes.
Wilde Ride Page 10
