“I only want yours on me,” I tell him honestly. Every male has been eye fucking me, watching my every move with awe. But none of them feel with the unbidden desire like Zane does. His gaze scorches across me, the craving he portrays swirls around me, wrapping me up tightly. As the thought casts around us, my breathing deepens; my own longing begins to throb with yearning.
He clearly notices as his hand pushes over my waist eagerly. “Just one dance before I’m caught.”
I know what I have to do. I have to allow myself this – a slow dance in the middle of a devil’s ball. I lay my head to his chest, one hand raised in the air as Zane takes the lead, his other hand wrapped around me in a fierce, dominating hold. Even with the control he clutches to me with, we sway in this slow, sweet motion. The world might well be ending outside of this woodland sanctum, but right now, my world is holding onto me.
Neither of us speaks as we just enjoy the moment. I haven’t even asked what he’s doing here or how he got here. Right now, I couldn’t care less about any of that because he remains with me – uncaught and safe from the hunt for a moment.
As the music begins to end, Zane uses his dominance to push my back against one of the trees in my backyard. The music might be of a slower tempo, but his feat isn’t. I feel the heat rise between us, our lust erupting to life, and my butterflies start a manic frenzy as I look up to see him seductively staring at me. As he steps in, his knee parting my legs, I look up at him with an almost pointed look.
“Rip my dress and you’re a dead man,” I threaten fiercely as he stands before me. He’s trapping me against the bark, stealing my chance of freedom.
I’m met with a chuckle and an enigmatic look on his face. “You’ve already made that threat to me, Darling. It’s getting a bit boring now.” He laughs alongside me while his fingers trace and tangle with the beading lacing and wrapping around my neck.
“Be careful with that, too,” I comment as my laugher fizzles out, hitting his hand away so my own can cover the pearly beads protectively. “My father gave them to me. They were my mothers.” I narrow my gaze on him. “There are a lot of things you can do to me, but breaking these is unforgivable.”
“I wouldn’t break them,” he comments in the smarmiest way possible. “Just a little annoyed because the only pearl necklace you should be wearing is mine.” When his eyes gaze upon mine, I see the tease, the arousal, the readiness all there behind the blue lenses of his eyes. “I’m guessing those wouldn’t go as nicely with this dress?”
“No, they wouldn’t,” I whisper back playfully as his hands run the length of my waist and hips. “Maybe on another day. When I’m wearing-” I pause merely to smirk before I continue my sentence, “less.” It’s in that second, when we are just us, that I find the weight of what we could be settle upon my shoulders. “I wish you could come inside,” I whisper and grip upon the lapel of his jacket. “I want to dance all night with you.”
“Me, too, but even if I could, I have a shift,” he remarks sadly. “I can’t get out of it even to hide away in the bushes waiting for you to sneak away.”
I giggle lightly, but end in a sigh. “Will you be careful? You might have gotten in here unscathed, but what about getting out?” My stomach is roiling; my main concern is not only his line of duty, but, right now, getting out off the Abbiati land without being hunted down for trespassing.
“Yes, I’ll be careful,” he agrees thickly. “I have every reason to be now.”
My heart melts in my chest. My knees weaken, and I wish I could just be taken away with him. I know I’m foolish. I am the foolish girl my father has dubbed me, but only because what I feel within me at the mere thought of Zane is the realest thing I know. My love for him pulsates through me and I’m a livewire for once. He seeps through my blackened soul, unties every knot and bow of anguish ever bestowed upon me and makes it all a little brighter. I fell for him once, and this isn’t me falling for him twice. This is me still being in love with the first man who ever said those three little words – I love you. He will always be the man I see the life Bruno has with.
Zane Maverick turns my mantra on its head and has me thinking of my possible exit from the family – Feel, deviate, don’t kill Zane Maverick. The sound of my own maxim turned on its head seizes me with delight.
“But first,” he starts to say, knocking me from my thoughtful perch, his voice lowering in octaves until it’s like honey smothering my growing desires, “let’s just have a little time that’s just us.” He pushes me further against the tree as he begins to initiate how he wants this evening to go. “I would’ve brought a gift, but I thought I would extend your birthday celebrations for you.”
“I don’t need a gift,” I counter, disregarding his claim.
“Princess Abbiati deserves every gift possible,” he jokes lightly, and I smile at him. It’s not necessary to give me gifts. “But how about a date with me tomorrow evening,” he says and then pauses briefly. “Of course, that is if you’re not on Femme Fatale business.”
I smile. “You’re my only hit right now.” My statement is solemn, and I feel an ebb of melancholy dampen the moment.
“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” he asks, and I shake my head almost too violently back at him. “Whatever happens, I want to know that you believe me, Amelia. I need to know that you trust me enough to make right on everything that happened in the past. I know it’s not simple, but I don’t want simple. I want to fight for you. You make fighting worth it.”
“It was always my plan to make it a little difficult,” I quip sarcastically, my arms coming up to loop around his neck. “And, if anything, I know the best way to die.”
“Oh, yeah?” he begins to ask. “How’s that then?”
“Like this,” I tell him and force him to lean down so our lips can meet. As we stand alone in this perfectly shrouded wooded wonderland, I can’t help but just unwind. I know we could be seconds away from being caught, but the thrill of it only aids how I really feel. I can tell Zane’s the same as his arms wrap around my tiny frame and he draws me up onto my tiptoes, his hands running down to grasp my butt.
“Definitely a good death,” he tells me between kisses. “But right now, I want to take you against that tree and smother the scream of my name with my lips. I want to have you feeling me between your legs all night.” As he speaks, a swirl of warmth begins in my stomach, my panties moisten, and I bite my lip with anticipation. “I want you to remember I am the only man who belongs inside you.”
He steps in, the finale to his words is to exact them as we begin. I don’t care for dirt marks or messy hair. I care for Zane. I care for myself. Everything else is insignificant.
“Amelia!” My father’s voice echoes through the yard, throwing Zane and me apart. Our reaction was as if we had burnt one another, scorching our skin and forcing us to part to spare us the pain.
“Yup, the blood flow’s gone,” Zane remarks, looking down at his pants. “Seriously? He had to come out now?”
I shrug, stifling my mounting amusement. The adrenaline and mounting desires of our libidos are now flattened and left a pulp on the floor. However much my amusement wants to erupt, this moment just turned deadly.
“You need to leave,” I whisper to Zane as we stand with the same gap between us. “Before you get caught.”
“I’m going, but only once you answer my question.” I see the tiniest of grins begin to break out on his face. “Will you go on a date with me?”
“Amelia? I know you’re out here!” my father’s force booms out from nearby.
“Yes, I’ll go with you,” I tell him, and his smile breaks into a high voltage grin. “Now go before you get caught by my father,” I coerce him, pushing my palms on his chest. “Go.”
“I love you, Beautiful,” he whispers delicately to me, and I watch him lean in. His lips hit mine in a tender show of love. It doesn’t last as he reluctantly pulls away and disappears away through the trees. My fingers linger on my lips,
tracing the feeling he has left me with. I lose my alertness lingering in the cloud of sweet love Zane has left me in.
“Amelia?” my father’s voice breaks the air from my right, and I’m forced to turn quickly to face him. “What the hell are you doing in there?”
“Oh,” I stutter, trying to find a reason that suffices enough. “I just needed to get away,” I tell him as I come out from my hiding place. “There’s so much going on inside.”
“I understand.” He nods in agreement and stands awkwardly before ridding himself of such an undesirable emotion. “Come and sit with me,” he gently commands and motions to a nearby cabana. He crosses the distance and sits on the edge and pats beside it. “We’re in no rush to go back inside.”
I agree by sitting beside him. There’s a moment of silence between us, and it’s comfortable for the first time in days to be beside him.
“We can discuss Zane Maverick if you wish,” he pipes up suddenly. “I want to know the God’s honest truth of how you feel over it.”
I don’t want to tell him the God’s honest truth over it.
“I thought of my best plan on the matter actually,” I counter and turn on my perch to look to my father. “I want this to be my best kill yet, Papà.” I watch his eyes twist and turn with curiosity. “I want to lure Zane back here so I can kill him here. I want him to be my ultimate kill. The one that I make sure is unforgettable.” I gulp as I wait for the approval to show on his face, and when it does, I relax.
“When did you think this up, Amelia?”
“When my original attempt failed,” I admit solemnly. “He’ll be expecting anything I have to do to him now. He’ll be on guard, but if I admit weakness, lure him in to love me all over again, then I know this will be easier than I had first assumed.”
“And where do you fall into this?” my father asks, oozing comforting tones and fatherly affection. “How do you do this without breaking your heart, Bambina?”
“I get my piece of true love, and you get your ultimate revenge. We’re both happy in the long run.” I make the mistake of looking down and away from my father’s gaze. The thought of losing my opportunity to have the greatest chance to love Zane does render me breathless, and my chest radiates with pain, but I cannot withhold how I really feel. As my father takes my hand, I look away. “As much as this will kill me, I have to remain a part of the family.”
At that comment, my father’s eyes seem to become shot with pain and sorrow. “Amelia, I know I have been callous, but whatever happens with Zane, you will always be my daughter. That is a fact I cannot fight. The thought of disowning you or abandoning you in any way is one that I cannot comprehend. I speak in the heat of the moment, and I know I am a cold-hearted bastard, but unlike your brothers, my threats are futile toward you.”
“They didn’t feel it,” I comment miserably, remembering the night he tried to traffic me. “You can’t blame me for sitting here feeling a little doubtful of your words, Papà. I want to so believe that you dote upon me and love me, but all I seem to do is let you down. I knew I would the moment you mentioned Zane’s name, but I am trying everything to make sure I get this right.”
“I offered you a chance to get out of this,” he counters, thinking it’ll make a difference.
“I didn’t take it so I can prove to you I am as strong as you want us to be,” I confess dryly, looking him straight in the eyes.
“I will see you as strong no matter what.” He tries to rectify the mess he has made by mounting doubts upon me, but it’s not working very well. “Whatever, Amelia, you are a strong soul,” my father announces proudly, and I wonder if he knows the true me. “You are courageous and fight when most grown men cower. You take a stand, and you don’t let anyone take that from you. Not even I can do so. Whatever I have said or how I have made you feel, none of it is true when you’re still here, fighting with a strong will. You are a strong Abbiati-Romano soul. One that your family should be proud of.”
He calls me a strong soul. One who fights, whose will continues regardless of what life throws at me. But right now, he doesn’t know that I've reached my point of surrender. Right now, I want to cave and be weak and tell everyone they are wrong about me. Right now, I want to just lie down on the earthy ground and allow the world to keep spinning without my participation. Because let's face it - it will. For once, I want to be nonexistent.
Today, I want the world to fall away and when I reach that final step into total absolution, I only want for Zane to prove his words right and reach in and save me at that last possible second. I want his existence to resonate harsher, embed itself so deeply in me that I no longer can breathe without him. I want to remember being consumed by him. I want that revival, and I will see I have it. I want a savior who makes me wake up, see sense, and laugh at my own ridiCoglioneusness. I want him to teach me what I was doing wrong and what I was doing right. I want him to set me onto the right path. I don't want to be my own hero anymore.
I don’t want to be a strong soul. I want to rip away my mask and be the me left underneath. I want to be the Amelia Abbiati that Enzo and Bruno see. The girl with all different angles to her like Zane loves. I crave being the real me.
“You do understand that, right?” My father’s voice penetrates my thoughtful trance so deeply I feel my thoughts explode into millions of tiny stars that float away from around me. “Regardless, you are still one of the strongest in this family.”
“I don’t feel it sometimes,” I feebly admit, and for once, I don’t loathe myself for admitting my weaknesses to a man I vowed never to.
“Hey.” My father’s voice immediately softens, and I feel his arm come around my back. “I can only apologize for how my actions affect you. I don’t think sometimes, and for that, I am so sorry, Bambina.”
“I know.” I accept his apology, reminding myself not to take it to heart. I don’t want to be hurt when he goes against it.
He kisses my temple and lingers beside me in the calm around us. When he decides he’s had enough, he stands beside me. He puts his hand out and gives me the fatherly smile that always weakens me.
“How about we go in and turn this party around?” he asks me and gives a smirk. “I only want you to be happy today.” I take his hand, stand up, and he leads the way, with my hand still encased in his large, callous hand. I thought he always had the hands of a hardworking man. The mere size and hardness of them made me feel protected when I was younger, but now I know the uncared for hands are those of murderous work.
“I am happy,” I contradict him and myself all at once. I’m not happy, but I don’t want him to change the party he planned. I don’t know how long the happy act is going to last, but I know it won’t be for long. “If I’m honest, I just want our family to be one without the arguments and hostility.”
“I’ll work on it,” he vows and walks beside me up to the house.
The closer we get, the louder the hubbub of mixed conversations and music mingle into the air. As we get to the door, my father releases my hand to hold the door and allow me to enter first. As I do, I find Bruno, Carlo, and Manuel eagerly waiting for our arrival.
“You didn’t kill one another then?” Manuel asks, nervously. “People were beginning to ask questions. You’ve been outside for ages.”
Our father ruffles Manuel’s well-placed hair and chuckles a little. “Don’t worry yourself, Figlio Mio, your sister and I were merely working out the kinks of our relationship.”
Pulling away, Manuel strives for damage control on his hair, causing us to laugh. Even though he sees it as anything but hilarious, he doesn’t lose his temper. We all know how Manuel prides himself on appearance. He doesn’t have the heart of a lion, so works harder to keep his exterior sharp and well-groomed.
As the mirth begins to fizzle away, I look around and furrow my brow. “Where’s Enzo?”
“He got a phone call like two minutes ago,” Carlo pipes up. “He left the room to take it.”
It takes a few min
utes for me to locate what I’m feeling, but when I do I’m not prepared for its impact. “Something doesn’t feel right,” I note as a sudden rise of unease creeps up my entire body. “I have to find him.” I leave my family’s side, rushing out of the room and working my way to my father’s office. It’s where most of the business is taken care of, why is this any difference?
When I push the door open, I see Giovanni sitting at my father’s desk and Enzo practically looking like a defeated man as he uses the desk to keep him standing. I feel my heart twist in my chest, each beat is a pitiful duty, and my eyes begin to water.
“Enzo?” I meekly ask and the way that Giovanni leers behind him leaves me thinking every bad scenario possible.
Apart from the one he utters as he finally stands to turn and look at me.
“Zane Maverick was shot tonight.” Enzo looks at me, his own grief filling his eyes. “From our informant, it’s not looking good. He almost bled out before an ambulance arrived.” My eyes water, but I see him look toward our father who comes to stand behind me. “Amelia might just have been saved doing your dirty work on this hit.”
As all my senses defuse, the last thing I see is Giovanni’s smirk, the last thing I feel is the vice close around my ribcage.
The last thing I think before it all comes crashing down is this cannot be happening.
CHAPTER TEN
“Amelia!” my father bellows as I collapse, and he strains to catch me before I fall in a heap on myself.
I feel disconnected with my body as I barely register being picked up and taken to the nearest seat. I don’t look at anyone, I just stare forward, almost catatonic, as images of Zane bleeding out haunt me. They are much more vivid than any I had dreamed in the aftermath of the grenade my father presented me with when he told me I had to kill Zane Maverick. This is reality.
As I feel a hand come to rub soothing circles on my back, I lash out. I act as if I’ve been burnt, unable to dance with the flickers of flames. My outburst is lethal, dramatic, and fearful, but I need to react like this. I need to get away from the thoughts and accusations assaulting me.
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