by Rue Volley
Chapter Seventeen
Is That You, Sweet Death?
Okay, I don’t understand boys. I thought I had started to, but no. I had one boy that was over emotional to the point that I couldn’t handle him and now I have another one who thinks he needs a break. What the hell does that even mean? A ‘break’. Blow me. I guess I might have misread Josh. I thought that we had this great love/hate thing happening. I thought it was the basis of our relationship.
I kept walking, wanting to flash away from him. It annoyed me to no end that he just kept walking beside me, glancing over from time to time. What does he want me to say anyway? I know that I went psycho girl on him. I regret saying that I only wanted him, it’s not true. He had to be smart enough to know that.
I watched the sky continue to darken; I didn’t really worry about the fact that we could be walking into some rogue’s path offering ourselves up for dinnertime. We started to see lights and I knew that we were coming up on another town. I didn’t count how many small ‘now heres’ I had passed while I rode on the train. I didn’t know how far we were from home. All I knew is that I had a pissed off “Lord” hanging with me who had decided that I make him feel “weak”, blow me… again.
I looked over at the lights and spotted a church steeple. Now, we never went to church, in fact my parents never mentioned God in our house. Now I understand that more. I suddenly felt a strong need to go into one. I knew I probably shouldn’t. I wouldn’t know what to say, but the thought of a prayer, even if it was just going out into a big void of nothingness, sounded appealing. On top of that, it may annoy Josh, and since he wouldn’t talk to me. It may spark a debate at least.
I turned to the left and started to walk towards the church. Josh stopped and I heard him mumble something behind me. I knew he wanted to talk, he’d been silent for so long it was probably killing him. I looked around the sleepy town and I didn’t feel anything funky, so I was guessed that there were no rogues there. If they are… let ‘em come, who cares.
I could hear Josh behind me and I kept walking until I stood in front of the church. Music played inside and I could hear voices singing. I shook my head and looked back at him. He held up his hands and let them drop at his sides. I opened the door up and the music washed over me, like a wave of water. I looked around at the large room and found an empty pew. I was wondering why the church was so large. I thought, maybe a bunch of people drive in to visit it, had to be… there weren’t enough houses there to fill it with the residents.
I slid into a pew and looked at the books tucked in the back of the pew facing me. I grabbed it and looked at it. Josh slid in next to me and crossed his hands on his lap. I looked over at him and noticed that he was staring at the center stage. A large cross, with the well-known son of god, was looming behind the small man with white and red on. He held up a gold cup and said something about the body. I relaxed and sat back. I let my head fall on the back of the pew and felt a slight pain in my stomach. I guess I had been so pissed at Josh I forgot that I needed to eat.
I looked up as everyone stood up and started to mutter something. I stood up and looked back down at Josh. He shook his head at me and crossed his arms. I looked around at the people, talking in unison and opened the book.
“Holy Mary, Mother of God. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death,” I read.
I looked around at everyone and noticed that they didn’t even care that we were there.
I looked back at the book.
“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil… Amen.”
I closed the book as everyone knelt down and lowered their heads. I knelt down too. I don’t know why, maybe just to fit into the program. I closed my eyes and felt another pain in my stomach; I leaned against my arm and bit it. I didn’t break the skin. I just did it to take the attention from my stomach, it didn’t really work. I felt Josh’s hand on my back and I closed my eyes. Stop acting like you care, you ass.
I sighed and pressed my eyes closed and let the stuff that the people in the church were chanting in unison, kind of relax me. I’d read about religious beliefs, I’ve just never really experienced it in house. I pushed from my kneeling position when I felt Josh tap my shoulder. I opened my eyes up and realized that people were back in the pews, me being the only one still on my knees.
They started to all get up and walk into the center aisle. They slowly walked towards the priest at the forefront. He had two younger boys at his sides now and the priest had the gold cup in his hands, dipping something white into it. I started to stand up and Josh grabbed my arm. He shook his head at me. I squinted my eyes at him and pushed past him. I’m going to receive some salvation, I think. Am I really able to...? Who knows?
I stepped out and looked over at the other line of people. Everyone acted like I wasn’t even here. I liked that. I was just one of many… of the only one. The woman to the right of me had a small boy and girl with her. She held both of their hands, the girl in front of her and the boy was behind her. I looked down at the little girl and saw the doll in her hand. The thought that I never once played with dolls ran through my mind. So random. The boy was staring at me and I turned and looked at him. He had dark hair, nice little black outfit on, the pants were short. He grinned at me kind of weird and I turned my head from him. Truth was, the boy looked like the demon child from an old horror I had watched once when the house was empty. It was something about the devil… well, the anti-Christ.
I cleared my throat and looked ahead of me. I was about five people away from stealing whatever these people were eating. I felt a hand touch mine and I looked back to see Josh trailing right behind me. He didn’t have to get up. I didn’t need him to escort me on this weirdness. I really didn’t. He leaned up to my ear to finally break his silence.
“This place creeps me out,” he whispered.
I looked back at him and shook my head. Three more people and I get some food.
He leaned in again. “Let’s leave,” he said, this time a little louder.
The woman next to us looked over at him and then she shook her head.
Evidently, you were not supposed to talk there or something.
“No… I’m getting some food,” I muttered to him.
He laughed and the priest stopped as he was placing the white piece of whatever into the girl’s mouth in front of me. She got out of my way after she drank from his gold cup and I stood there in front of him. He looked down at me and leaned in.
“Body of Christ,” he said as he lifted the white wafer up and stared at it.
“What?” I asked him.
He leaned forward and started to move it towards my mouth. I crinkled my eyebrows.
“Did you say ‘body’?” I asked him.
He looked at me and then at Josh who stood behind me with his arms crossed on his chest.
He looked irritated… ha.
“Yes, young lady… Body of Christ,” the priest said to me.
“I don’t know about that,” I said to him.
I was now officially holding up the line.
Josh leaned into me and started to laugh as he said, “Told you so.”
I looked back at him and hit him on the shoulder. I turned back to the priest.
“Okay fine… I’m hungry,” I said to him.
The priest shook his head at me and lowered his hand. I stared at the white flat piece of something or other in front of my face and opened my mouth. He laid it on my tongue and it tasted like dried up bread… a cracker almost. He lifted the gold cup up.
“Blood of Christ,” he said. I shook my head at him.
“Really?” I asked him.
He leaned into me and winked.
“It’s grape juice,” he whispered.
I took it from his hand and drank the whole thing. That cracker dried my throat out so bad I couldn’t help it. I lowered the gold cup and noticed that the priest, two boys, and everyone were staring at me. I grinned and handed it back to him.
“Sorry… I was thirsty,” I whispered to him.
The priest cleared his throat and I stepped from the line. Josh walked with me back to the pew and we sat down. I watched as the rest of the line went through with no trouble. They must have had more grape juice because the priest was right back to handing the gold cup to people, shortly after me and my dry throat.
I leaned back on the pew and looked up at the ceiling. It was so high, with these long pointed pieces stabbing down at us. I turned my head and looked at all the stained glass with different men painted on them. They all had different stories to tell of why they were being honored here. My eyes got fixed on one huge pane of glass that had what looked like a boy, dressed in white, with a sword over his head.
His face looked familiar; so I stood up, dropping my concern for whatever proper protocol I was supposed to have here, and walked over to it. The music started up again and everyone started to get up and leave. I looked up at the boy’s face and at his sword. I stepped back to make sure that I wasn’t crazy. Josh stepped up next to me and looked up too. I turned my head to look at him and pointed at the stained glass painting. He shrugged his shoulders.
“Tell me that it is not you,” I said to him.
He grinned and leaned over to me.
“It is… We should go,” he said.
I shook my head and leaned in to read the inscription. It was an angel… some warrior of God.
I looked at Josh and scratched my head.
“Why the hell would someone have you in a church?” I asked him.
He looked up at it and squinted his eyes.
“I think that they could have done much better with my jaw line. I think that my face is not that chubby,” he said as he tilted his head.
I grabbed his hand and started walking towards the door. He kept turning his head back to see it. I opened the oversized door and ran down the steps with him in tow. I let his hand go and turned to face him.
“Okay, Josh… I think that we have just stumbled onto share day.” I said.
“What is that?” he asked me.
I crossed my arms.
“You know… you tell me stuff that I don’t know and I go, ‘Oh, that’s really interesting’,” I said.
He grinned. I was glad, there he was, the Josh that I know.
“Okay so… what do you want to know?” he asked me.
“I want to know why you are in a stained glass window in a church and why Blake called you a ‘Lord’,” I said as I shifted my foot.
I looked up as people filed out of the church. They were all really quiet. I thought churches were supposed to be a happy place, but not here. People walked around us and in between us. I looked at some of them, but for the most part I kept my eyes on him. He looked at me the whole time, I think. Finally, the last of the people made their way out and we stood there alone. I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows. He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair.
“Well?” I asked.
“Okay, listen. I have been around for a long time,” Josh said as he looked up at the church and back to me.
“Yea… like what a hundred and fifty years or something?” I said, like I was the authority.
“Longer than that, to you,” he said.
“What does that mean?” I asked him.
“Well, we all kind of softened the reality. I don’t know, maybe it just seemed like it would be easier for you guys to handle… time wise,” he said.
“So you all lied,” I said as I relaxed my arms.
“Yep,” Josh said as he sat down on the steps leading up to the church.
“Okay… so how old are you guys then?” I asked him.
“Pretty old,” he said, all mysterious.
“Just tell me and stop being all spy-like,” I said to him.
Josh laughed and looked up at me.
“Okay… well, protectors have been on this planet since the beginning of time,” he said.
I blinked, kind of shocked at that thought.
“Like the beginning, beginning,” I muttered as I walked towards him and sat down on the step next to him.
“Well yea, unless there is another ‘beginning’ that I don’t know about,” he said.
“But… I thought it was during the time that the earth’s volcanoes were freaking out and the tree popped up that first protectors stumbled onto it and said, ‘Hey… maybe this tree will save us’?”
Josh looked at me and smiled. I wasn’t looking at him at first, but I turned and caught him.
I shook my head and waited.
“Well… no one knows how they were created; they simply woke in the tree and then ventured out,” Josh said.
“Okay… so how old are you then?” I asked him. He leaned into me.
“Old enough to know better,” he whispered.
“That’s crap… give me a number,” I said as I stood up and looked down at him.
He smiled and leaned back on his elbows.
“Why does a number matter to you, Rue?” he asked me.
“Because... I have a thing for numbers,” I said as I stepped down and looked back up at him.
He looked completely relaxed and in charge. I didn’t. He sat up and laughed.
“So, like a ‘fetish’ thing?” he asked me. I bit my lip.
“No… I just like to know how old things are,” I said. I really had no other reason I could give.
It drove me crazy when I really wanted to know something and the truth was out of reach.
“K… well, thousands, would put you in the ballpark,” he said.
“You are thousands of years old?” I said, as I leaned forward like I just got told a big old secret.
“Yeah…” he said as he stood up.
He has to know exactly how old; he is just being a turd.
He walked towards me and I pointed at the church.
“Why are you on the wall in there?” I asked him.
He turned to me and leaned down.
“I was spotted,” he said.
“By who?” I asked him.
“Does it matter? Someone saw me all doing my thing and poof, I’m an angel,” he said.
I shook my head and looked at the church.
“You mean that religion is based on you guys getting caught doing your flashy business?” I asked him.
“No, not completely. Christ was real, amazing speaker really,” he said as he started to walk.
He is cleverly getting me to move, without me knowing. He knows that I want to know and that I will not notice that we are walking towards home again. I followed him and started to walk beside him.
“You knew Jesus Christ?” I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders.
“No… not really, I just heard him speak a couple of times. Theodore was all about the Romans at that time. I had to keep getting him out of trouble,” Josh said.
“Oh my god,” I said as I looked ahead of us.
“What?” Josh said.
“You are like gross old,” I said to him.
He stopped and looked at me.
“I am not ‘gross old’,” he said.
I laughed and hit him on the arm.
“You are a creeper,” I said as I continued to laugh.
“No… I’m not,” he said.
“Lord Creeper,” I said as I waved my hands out in front of me.
“Very funny,” he said as he tried to keep a straight face.
I started to rub my hands and he noticed of course.
“What?” he asked me.
“Is there a God?” I asked him.
“Well, humans have their God, and we have a creator,” he said.
“So, it’s not the same guy?” I asked him.
Josh stopped and looked at me. I turned to him. The moonlight looked amazing on his face. He is just the prettiest thing ever created. I guess I thought that he was pretty before, but when you think that you’ve lost someone they become a hundred times hotter. He looked at me different too; maybe he was
feeling the same way. I couldn’t know for sure.
“Well, I don’t know why we would be made immortal and the humans would not,” he said to me.
I thought about that for a moment and started to walk again. I looked up at the moon. It hung over us so large I could see all the dents in it. I scanned the sky for stars and stopped. I walked off of the track and lay down in the grass. Josh walked over to me and stood there, looking down at me. He looked at the sky and then back at me. I held up my hand to him and he took it and lay down next to me.
I looked at all the stars and wondered how old the sky was really; how old Josh was? How old was I? Does age really matter? Or do you simply live each moment like it may be the last, not worrying about the number? I had always been so wrapped up in knowing the number for everything that maybe I missed the point. That age doesn’t matter, and time may be one big illusion. I looked at the big dipper hanging over us and turned my head to him. He looked at me and I stared into his eyes.
“So, were you here before the big dipper or after?” I said as I smiled at him.
He looked up at it and grinned.
“Maybe I made it,” he said to me.
I sighed and felt his hand take mine. We laid there staring up at the sky; my stomach growled and I rolled over to him and snuggled into his side. Josh put his arm around me and I fell asleep, listening to his angelic heartbeat, drifting off into the best night’s sleep I had ever had.
***
Lily sat curled up in a ball in the corner of Caine’s tent as he paced back and forth. She held onto her doll and played with its hair. She knew that Jonah was not dead, but she could not even imagine life without him. He was the only one in her life that she could depend on for anything. They had been born in Valon, to parents that were more concerned with the status of having children than the actuality of being entrusted with their care. Jonah had protected her from her Father’s advances and her Mother’s temper. Jonah. How would she survive without him…? She could not. She closed her eyes knowing that Caine would know that she was about to send him a bubble, to warn him from coming back here. The thought of him alive was much easier to bear than the reality of him dead.
