by Rue Volley
“No… you are not,” he said as he scooped me up in his arms and called out to Theodore.
Josh carried me into the living room and laid me down on the couch.
He knelt down next to me and touched my face.
“You are burning up,” he said as he yelled at Theodore again.
Theodore flashed to us and looked down at me.
“What is this?” he said as he leaned in and looked at my face. I started to feel like a freak. Awesome, I should just go on the road with Jonah and Lily.
Theodore stood up and grabbed Josh’s arm. He pulled him from me and they started to talk away from me. They started to sound like an echo. I blinked my eyes and saw Lily lean in close to my face. I took a swipe at her with my hand and she caught my wrist and looked at me.
“Hey!” Josh yelled at her as he flashed over and grabbed her arm, pulling her out of my view. Lily smiled at him and he shook his head at her.
“You keep your distance,” Josh said. I looked up at him and grinned.
“Josh,” I said. He started to talk to everyone in the room.
The chatter rose to a roar as they debated what to do.
“Josh!” I screamed.
The room went silent. Everyone looked at me and I pointed at Lily.
“Why does she have my clothes on?” I said.
Jonah laughed. “Oh, she is a delight!”
“Shut up, Jonah,” Josh said as he started to talk to Theodore again.
I held my hand up to my face and it looked funny. It glitched… like a strange movie.
I tilted my head and continued to watch it. I felt funny, like I was floating up towards the ceiling.
“Oh shit!” Josh yelled as he grabbed at me.
His hands went through my arm. I smiled. It didn’t hurt or anything, it was such a peaceful place to be. Maybe this was death, if so… there was nothing to be afraid of. The only thing I regretted was not taking advantage of Josh and getting to sleep in my bed one more time. Strange things I know… well, the bed thing anyway. I placed my hands in front of my face and grinned.
“Josh… it is so pretty,” I said as everything started to sparkle.
When did I eat last anyway? Was it that pizza on the train? Yea, it was.
“Theodore!” Josh yelled. It echoed in my ears.
I closed my eyes and then everything went silent.
***
I rolled over on my back and looked up at blue sky. Is this heaven? I watched the clouds roll over slowly. The air smelled sweet like honey and grass. I took a deep breath and let it linger in my lungs.
I didn’t know where I was, but it was such a peaceful feeling. I remembered feeling that way before. It was the last normal day I spent with my family. My Dad decided that we all needed to go on a picnic and we all headed out to Red Wood. We hiked down to the lake’s edge and took a big blue blanket with us. I remember sitting there looking around at my Mom and Dad laughing. My Mother placed her hand on my Dad’s face and he whispered something in her ear. I looked at Kai and he grinned at me. He didn’t say anything annoying that day. It was the perfect day, the perfect place, a perfect moment.
I opened my eyes up and felt the same way here. Like everything was safe and okay. We all wore white that day. It was my Moms idea. Kai had laughed about it; I would of, but I don’t mind white. She had already started to get a little distant before that day anyway, but we all ignored it. I did my best to leave her alone, but she had gotten up that day in a great mood, very talkative, very loving. I easily went along with it. I needed that day; we all did.
I sat up and looked around. There they all were. Mom, Dad, and Kai. We were all sitting on the blue blanket by the edge of the lake. I looked at Kai and he grinned at me. I looked over and my Dad was whispering something in my Mom’s ear. I smiled and looked at the basket of food sitting in front of me. I reached for an apple and looked at it. If I eat it, will it make me sick?
I took a bite, letting go of my fear of hurling. I chewed it and swallowed. I sat there for a moment and waited. Nothing happened… awesome. I looked at Kai and he stood up and walked to the edge of the water. He picked up a stone and skipped it over the water. I grinned and ran over to him. I picked up a stone and skipped it too. He smiled at me. I finally did it… skipped that stone. They usually just sink under immediately.
I looked back and my parents were gone. I turned back to Kai and he had disappeared too. I dropped the other stone I had in my hand and looked around. I looked up at the sky as it started to darken a little. It looked like a storm was rolling in.
“Hello?” I yelled out. It echoed.
“Am I dead?” I asked the sky.
“No,” I heard behind me.
I turned and Elin stood there, looking absolutely beautiful. I grinned at her.
“Elin…” I whispered.
“What are you doing here?” she asked me.
“I have no idea,” I said. She laughed.
“You just cannot stop getting into situations can you?” she asked me.
“I guess not,” I said.
She took my hand and started to walk, pulling me along with her.
“What are you doing?” I asked her. She looked back at me.
“It is not your time yet,” she said.
“This is memory right?” I asked her. She laughed.
“Not exactly,” she said.
“Well, what is it then?” I asked her.
“Someplace you should not be,” she said.
We walked up to the top of the hill and looked down.
Children ran through the fields of tall grass and people walked arm and arm. I looked at her.
“Is this heaven?” I asked her.
She squeezed my hand and looked at me.
“This is kind of a waiting place, for humans,” she said.
“Weird,” I said as I looked out and watched a dog chase a little boy across the field.
“Oh my god,” I said as I shot off into the field and chased the dog down.
There he was, my friend from childhood. My dog, who had been thrown away by that nasty man. I leaned down and the dog wagged his tail at me. I held out my hand and he licked it. I felt tears roll down my face and I smiled so big at him, it hurt my face.
“Dog,” I whispered.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at Elin.
“Come,” she said.
I stood up and watched the dog run from me and start to play with the little boy.
I wiped my face and looked at Elin.
“I can’t believe that he is here,” I said to her.
She held my hand and pulled me along with her. I kept looking back until we walked down the other side of the hill. We stopped and I looked up. The most beautiful city sat there, reflecting in the water. It sparkled from the sunlight.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Elin said as she stared at it.
I looked at her and she turned to me.
“I want to thank you, Rue,” she said as she held my hand and ran her thumb across the top of my hand.
I looked down and felt a slight vibration in it. I looked back up at her.
“For what?” I asked her.
She turned towards the city and smiled.
“Because, you made it possible for me to make it here,” she said.
I shook my head and looked at the shining city.
“Is that?” I asked her. She nodded.
“I am human, Rue… this is a place of peace. I did many evil things in my lifetime, but it wasn’t until I redeemed myself dealing with you that it made it possible for me to come here forever,” she said.
She turned to me and hugged me. I let her, it wasn’t as weird as I thought it would be.
She backed up from me and grinned.
“Now… you need to go,” she said.
I tilted my head at her and things started to fade. I closed my eyes and felt myself falling. I wasn’t afraid, it felt more like a slow gentle floating in the air. I felt my ches
t fill with air and I arched my back. Josh sat over me with his hand to my mouth; I tasted blood in my throat. He moaned and fell off of me.
I sat up and cried out as I took a deep breath. Theodore lunged at Josh and slammed his hand into his chest. Josh cried out and his body shot up into the air, floating over us. I watched Theodore chant out loud in many words I had never heard before. Sam furiously scribbled symbols all around us. I fell back and closed my eyes.
***
I woke up and looked at Josh’s face. He was lying in my bed. I reached out to him and touched his lips. He started to open his eyes slowly and then he focused in on me.
“Hi,” he said. His voice cracked a little.
I took a slow breath and continued to trace my fingers on his face. He grinned.
“Hi,” I said in a whisper.
“Do you think that you could skip trying to die today?” he asked me.
I nodded and tried to laugh at him, but my chest hurt. I rolled on my back and looked at my ceiling. I still have these planets and stars stuck to it. They glowed in the dark. I looked at my messy version of the big dipper and grinned.
“There’s your creation,” I said.
He rolled on his back and looked at it.
“I didn’t make that,” he said.
“I know you didn’t,” I said to him.
He rolled over and looked at me.
“Where did you go?” he asked me.
“I saw Elin, Josh… I think that I was in heaven,” I said.
He laughed, and then coughed. I guess he feels as crappy as I do.
“Really?” he said.
I looked at him and nodded.
“It was beautiful, Josh… it really was,” I said.
He reached up to my head and I closed my eyes.
“Go ahead,” I whispered to him.
He touched me and then took his hand from my head.
“See?” I asked him.
“I didn’t see anything,” he said to me.
I looked at him and shook my head.
“I am telling you the truth Josh,” I said.
“I believe you, Rue. Maybe it was just for you,” he said.
I sighed and looked back at the ceiling.
“Maybe it was,” I muttered.
Josh touched my cheek and I felt him. I mean really felt him, maybe for the first time. It didn’t feel rushed or excited, just a low humming… comfortable and safe. I love him. I do. I know that now, more than ever before. I turned to him and smiled.
“I want to tell you something,” I said. He grinned.
“What would that be?” he said.
“I love you more,” I said to him.
“More than what?” he said as he brushed my hair behind my ear.
“More than you’ll ever know,” I said.
He closed his eyes and I touched his face. He breathed in slowly. I waited. I don’t know if I just took a step that I shouldn’t have. It felt like the right moment though. At least I hope it was. I just put it all out there for him to reject it.
He opened his eyes up and they swirled red in color. I didn’t flinch. I didn’t feel any fear staring into his eyes. He sat up slowly and looked down at me. I rolled on my back and stared up at him.
“I want to show you something,” he whispered.
I sat up and waited. I didn’t know what to expect from him. I never really do. I hope it’s not him telling me to stop telling him that I love him. I can’t do that anyway. He took my hand as he sat up on his knees. I pushed myself up and faced him on my knees too. He took his shirt off and started to pull on mine. I let him pull it over my head. We were in a bed. Uh oh. My heartbeat sped up and he smiled at me.
“Don’t be nervous, Rue,” he whispered. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
I looked at his chest as it started to swirl with lines of white and black. I watched the color move slowly over his skin. All of a sudden I saw blue start to swirl too. I looked at it and up at him. He tilted his head and looked my chest. I looked down and saw black color mixed into the blue, swirling on my skin. I touched it on my chest and I heard him suck in his breath. He ran his hand across his chest and it felt like he was touching me. I sucked in my breath and closed my eyes.
“I am a part of you now, as you are a part of me,” he said.
I opened my eyes and looked at him.
“What did you do?” I asked him.
“I shared my light with you, Rue. To the point of death, to bring you back to me,” he whispered.
“Oh my god,” I whispered.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
He pulled his shirt back over his head and grinned.
“Well, minus the weakness, and the ache… yea. Theodore is a master of alchemy,” he said.
“So you basically gave your life to me,” I said as I looked at his perfect face in the moonlight.
“I would die a thousand times over for you,” he said.
“You can have me,” I said as I lay back on my pillow and looked up at him.
“Oh god… I would love to take you up on that, Rue, but I can’t,” he said.
“What?” I said to him. He shook his head.
“I am nowhere close to being able to do that right now,” he said.
“You are kidding me,” I said.
“I wish I was.” He looked at me and sighed as he bit his lip. “Oh my god, I wish I could… Trust me,”
I shook my head and rolled on my side.
“That sucks,” I muttered.
He lay down behind me and pulled me to him. I could feel his heartbeat on my back.
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on clowns. He laughed.
“That is not working… good try though,” he said.
I exhaled and grabbed his hands.
“Just make out with me then,” I said.
He buried his head in my back.
“Please help me out here… I’m begging you,” he said.
I rolled over and faced him.
“Please,” I whispered.
“You are a demon,” he said. I grinned.
“Just one kiss,” I said.
“You are a naughty girl.”
“For you,” I said as I bit my lip.
“Oh my god, Rue… I am going to have to sleep on the couch,” he said.
“No,” I said to him.
I knew I was being unreasonable, but I didn’t care.
We heard a knock on the door. Theodore peeked in.
“Do you two think that you could calm down? The entire house is awake now,” he said.
I pressed my face in my pillow and started to laugh. I couldn’t help it.
Josh held his hands up.
“It’s not me!” he said.
“Rue… behave,” Theodore said as he closed the door.
I took my face out of the pillow and shook my head.
“I am sorry,” I said.
“No, I am sorry… so very, very sorry that I can’t just do awful things to you right now,” he said.
I hit him on the shoulder and he laughed.
“Go to sleep, Rue.”
“Whatever,” I said as I turned over and closed my eyes.
A flash of him pressing against me with his shirt off went through my mind.
I felt him tense up behind me.
“Children!” Theodore yelled out.
We both laughed and I stopped all the crazy.
“Thank you,” he whispered behind me.
“Clowns good,” I whispered.
“No… they are not!” Jonah yelled out from the next room.
“Shut up!” I yelled back at him.
Josh laughed against me and I forced myself to fall back to sleep.
***
I opened my eyes up to the familiar chirping of birds outside my window. I rolled over and Josh was not next to me anymore. I sighed and closed my eyes as I ran my hands over my face. I looked up at the plastic universe on my ceiling. It meant more to me now. So much more
than when I had purchased it and stuck it to my ceiling all jumbled.
I sat up and felt a humming in my chest. It felt like a second heartbeat. I touched my chest and grinned. Josh lived in me now. I lived in him. I guess the game just shifted forever. I sat up and looked around my room. The house was quiet. I couldn’t wait to deal with jabs from the previous night. I had no idea that everyone could feel how excited I was. Weird. That is most certainly not a plus. I don’t know how long I can control myself with him. I honestly wanted him to take me last night and do whatever; well… I can kinda guess. School lets you in on the reality of what happens. Your heart does not. I love him. Wow… love is such a big word.
I scooted off the bed and walked to the bathroom. I slowly pushed my door open and stared in. It didn’t even look like the freak team of Jonah and Lily had been in my tub. Good. I started the water up and stepped in. I closed my eyes and let the water wash away all the crazy that I had been through, at least the most recent stuff. I used all the soap I could, but I still couldn’t wash away the lingering vibration of Josh in my chest. I shut the water off and stepped out. I started to dry myself off and of course I heard a voice. It wouldn’t be anywhere near normal if someone didn’t come in while I am showering… right?
“You look well,” Theodore said as he stood there in my doorway.
I continued to dry off and wrapped the towel around me. It wasn’t modesty. I really didn’t care that Theodore was there to witness me wet and naked. He was like a sister anyway. I smiled and looked at him.
“Yea… I feel fine really. I know that I probably shouldn’t, but I do,” I said.
He grinned and touched my face.
“Oh… I see,” he said.
“See what?” I asked as I grabbed my toothbrush and loaded it with toothpaste.
“You have bonded,” he said.
I turned to him and shoved the toothbrush in my mouth. I scrubbed it on my molars and then moved it to the front. I turned to the sink and spit the toothpaste out. Theodore winced and I grinned as I stood up and looked at his reflection in the mirror.
“Bonded?” I said.
“Well, Josh made a quick decision with you last night. He had no idea if I would be able to save him, but he knew that you would be saved anyway,” Theodore said.
“Generous of him,” I said as I placed my toothbrush back in the holder and turned to Theodore.
