by Rue Volley
“Oh believe it…you are a gift, Johnathan, to the world.”
Johnathan looked up at Jonah, who turned away from him; then he looked at Aiwass.
“So, I am supposed to kill the creator,” he said.
“Not supposed to… you will that is the whole reason you exist. You see, your birth prompted that monkey lover to manifest himself in the flesh… He will not allow you to live. Because the creator is life, and you are death, Johnathan…in its purest form.”
Johnathan’s hands started to shake, and he glanced at Jonah, who had moved further away from him. He gritted his teeth and felt the anger rising in him He looked at Aiwass and shook his head.
“I won’t do it; I won’t, Aiwass,” he said.
Aiwass tilted his head and frowned.
“Don’t get all emotional. You won’t have to live… this is a one shot, Johnathan. Death cannot live without life… it is not possible. You see, you will kill each other and everything else… well, everything but the demons,” he said.
“I will kill myself,” he whispered.
Aiwass flashed to him and grabbed him up, lifting him from the ground.
“You are the most ungrateful maggot that I have ever seen! Here you are front row! I mean, I would trade anything to be you… I would love to see the creator slump before me, and I would welcome my end, knowing that he is no longer living.”
Johnathan struggled, and Aiwass dropped him on the ground. Johnathan fell to his side and lay there, catching his breath and staring at his wrist. He suddenly bit into it, and ripped out a chunk of flesh and spit it out. The blood flowed, and Aiwass stood there and smiled, as he waved his hand. The blood slowed, and then started to turn to black.
Johnathan sat up and looked at it, as his eyes got wider. Jonah leaned up and peeked at it. He shook his head, crossing his arms on his chest, and stepped back. The blood stopped and rolled back into the wound, and it closed up, like nothing had ever happened.
“You couldn’t be more pathetic. You cannot kill yourself… for you are already dead! You died, Johnathan. You did, and now, you have almost come full circle.”
Johnathan looked up at Aiwass and gritted his teeth.
“I hate you,” he said.
Aiwass leaned over and smiled.
“Good,” he whispered. “Use that, and kill what you were made to kill, monkey,” he walked to the door and waved his hand.
It opened; he stopped and looked back.
“Get dressed boys. If you do not… I will eat Jonah and make you watch, Johnathan,” he said, as he walked out the door and it slammed shut behind him.
Johnathan pushed himself up and looked at Jonah, who looked at the floor.
“Jonah,” Johnathan said.
Jonah ignored him and walked to the bag and unzipped it.
He opened it up and stared ta the suit inside.
“Well, at least he has taste,” he said, as he pulled it out and stared at it.
“Jonah,” Johnathan said again.
Jonah looked at him, but with no expression on his face.
Johnathan tilted his head.
“I am not a demon.”
Jonah looked back at the suit and brushed the front of the lapel off.
“You are,” he said.
“Jonah! Please, you have to believe me,” he said.
Jonah looked at him and grinned.
“I should have killed you myself. Although, I don’t know if I could have,” he said, as he laid the suit down and started to take his shirt off.
“Jonah!” Johnathan said.
“What, Johnathan...? WHAT!?” he said.
Johnathan blinked and looked at his hands.
“I will not kill the creator; I won’t,” he said.
“Oh, well… we will see. This is written I am sure, in some book somewhere… everything has an ending,” Jonah said.
“Jonah, I will not do this; I know myself… I love life and people; I cannot be death,” he said.
Jonah laughed.
“Stop whining, seriously… get dressed. I have no intention of becoming that demon’s dinner,” he said.
Johnathan sighed and looked up at the ceiling, the one he remembered playing under as a child.
He looked back at Jonah and tried to grin.
“Okay Jonah, I will get dressed… but I will not kill the people that I love.”
“Uh huh. At midnight, I will ask you that again and hope that you haven’t changed your mind.”
Johnathan looked at the bag on the floor, leaned down, and grabbed it.
He unzipped the bag and pulled out the nicest suit he had ever seen.
“He does have taste,” he said.
Jonah laughed and pulled his pants on.
“At least we will go out looking fabulous,” he said.
Johnathan shook his head and pulled his shirt on.
He hoped that Jonah was wrong… that Aiwass was a liar, and that Rue had ran far, far away from Calvary… never looking back.
Not thinking of him, or saving him or anything about him at all.
Chapter 20
We Are Allowed To Expire
We all sat in the car for a while. Why we drove was kind of a mystery to me. I mean, we could have flashed here, but no. We drove… or closer to the truth, Sam drove, with Kai riding shotgun and me and Josh in the back. I looked down at my hands and then up at Kai, who sat there staring at Sam. She looked over and grinned at him, as she placed her hand on his face. They didn’t say anything; I guess they didn’t have to.
Josh tapped my leg and winked at me, making me feel a little better about the situation. At least he was not all emotional, not that he ever really has been… minus the times he had been channeling Johnathan’s light… Johnathan, Johnathan Graph.
I looked up at the house and grinned.
“Have you guys heard the story, about the Adda house?” I asked.
Sam looked at me, and Kai turned in his seat and grinned. Josh laughed and looked down at his hands. I knew that he knew it, because he sucked it out of my head. I smiled and looked at my hands.
“Well, it is said that Henry Adda built this house and pretty much the whole town…”
I went through my elaborate story, woven by Noble when I was younger, and they all sat there, watching me, as I made my gestures with my hands and changed my facial expressions as I told the spooky story… as I had the last time I sat in this car and stared down the long lane, flanked on both sides by tall trees. I got to the punch line, and Kai smiled. I blurted it out, and Josh looked up at the house.
“That is good lie… I like it,” he said.
Sam nodded and opened her door up, and Kai popped his open too. Josh and I followed suit. We all stood there by the car, and one by one, lights started to pop on, stringed lights, wrapped around the trees. It was like a runway, preparing for a plane to land. The last two trees lit up, down the lane… closest to the house, and Sam looked at Josh.
“Looks like Lizzy knows we are here,” she said.
Josh stepped up, as each one of us did, until we formed a line. I turned when I heard other car doors and watched as other kids in Calvary got out of their cars and started to walk up the lane. I took a breath and looked up at the house and glanced over at Josh.
“I am on point,” I whispered.
He looked at me and took my hand, squeezing it.
“I know you are,” he said.
We all started to walk towards the house, and the closer we got, the weirder the energy felt. It was thick, in the air. I took a breath and it felt like it filled my lungs, heavy… kind of like water. We all turned we heard Lily yell at us, and she walked up to us and stood there, looking all pretty and calm. In fact, she looks happy. I guess I would, if I was her. She knew that Jonah would do the same thing for her.
“Are we all ready to get to memory?” she asked.
I looked at Josh, and he grinned.
“Well, that is optimistic… thanks, Lily.”
Lily shr
ugged her shoulders and joined the line. I mean, here we are, five against the world, or so it feels like. We walked as other kids walked behind us and some walked past us, in a hurry. I looked up at Josh, who didn’t take his eyes off the house.
“Shouldn’t we stop everyone from going in?” I asked him.
“We can’t… teenagers, they suck. We have enough to deal with here,” he said.
I smiled and continued to walk. He was right. The whole town from 16 to 20 was there, and we don’t have the time to mess with it. I just hoped that they don’t all die. I really did. We stopped at the bottom of the steps, and Sam looked at Josh.
“It is a drinking spell,” she said.
I could feel my fingers, as they tingled.
I looked at her and raised my eyebrows.
“What… I feel like eating,” I said.
Josh smiled at me, and he stumbled a little.
I looked at him and laughed.
He looked back at Sam.
“I feel like I am drunk,” he said.
“Party!” Kai yelled out, as he jumped up the steps, and the doors opened up to everyone.
I reached towards him and giggled, as my feet moved slower than I wanted.
Josh grabbed my waist, and I looked at him.
“You look so hot,” I said.
“I know,” he said, as he grinned.
I laughed, because the feeling of being intoxicated was swirling through me.
“I think that maybe we should drink some coffeeeee,” I said, as my words slurred.
“It won’t help. The spell started at the entrance, and now we are deep in it.”
I tapped him on chest and grinned.
“I wish you were deep in me,” I said.
“Oh… that is just uh… uh huh,” Josh said, as he helped me up the steps.
Sam grabbed the railing and pulled herself up.
“I don’t give a god damn. You weave your spell, you bitch.” She said.
Kai jumped up to the doorway, with his shirt unbuttoned and two drinks in his hand.
“This is the shit… this party is just…” he started to say.
Sam took one of the drinks from his hand and chugged it down.
She dropped the cup and winked at him.
“Everybody gets laid tonight,” she said.
Kai whoo hoo’d and started to dance, well… not so much dance as hump the air. I rolled my eyes and stepped into the house, scanning the room. Everyone there was drunk, well… spell drunk. They all laughed. Boys with their shirts unbuttoned; girls had discarded their shoes. A couple had decided that the fact that they were in public did not matter and laid on one of the tables, making out. The boy reached down and started to pull the girls dress up and I looked away. Josh smiled and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling.
Sam bumped him, and he looked at her.
“I gotta piss. Where’s the bathroom?” she asked.
I raised my eyebrows, and Kai grabbed her hand and they disappeared through the crowd. Josh leaned up against me, and the music started up. I closed my eyes and felt it in my body… the music that is. Everyone started to migrate towards the sound of it… including us. We stepped up to two large doors, and they swung open, music pouring out of it. Now, there are a few things I know for sure.
1. Alcohol and teenagers = sexual deviance.
2. Add music and it gets ramped up… a party that is.
Loud music has a way of making you feel like no one is looking. So, if you feel drunk and the music is pumping, you tend to get out of your shell, and oh, is this room out of the shell… big time.
Josh and I stepped in, with Lily close behind, and we looked around. It was decked out, red satin flowing from the ceiling, flashing lights, loud music. It was beautiful and made you feel like anything could go… anything at all, which is a problem.
I tried to shake off the feeling I had, but I suddenly wanted to dance… with Josh. I let his hand go, and I couldn’t hear him yelling behind me. I stepped out into the middle of the floor and started to move, with my hands above my head. He stepped up in front of me, with Lily by his side, and I continued to move. My hands blurred in front of my face, and I grinned, as I watched them double and then pull back together. He stepped up behind me and started to move. I closed my eyes, as I felt him breathing, and just let the music take us to a whole new place.
He placed his hands on my hips, and I swayed as Lily watched us. I smiled and nodded to her. She stepped up in front of me and looked me over. I reached out and took her hands in mine, pulling her up to me. She leaned into my ear and whispered something. I let my head fall back against Josh, and he slowly moved us back and forth. The music slowed, almost to a pulsating beat, and the vibration of it put me in a trance. I felt Josh touch the front of my neck and sighed, as his fingers felt like fire on my skin. Lily stepped back and took a breath, and then she disappeared in the crowd.
I blinked, and Josh turned me to him and pulled me close. He leaned up in my ear, and I could feel his breath, as it tickled my ear and my neck. I leaned back, and he held my waist. I just let the moment of euphoria take me over. I swayed back and forth, as I leaned as far back as I could. I could dance forever. I could have him against me forever.
Then I opened my eyes, and Johnathan stood there, upside down to me, and Lizzy stepped out from behind him. I sucked in my breath and pulled myself up quickly and turned. Josh held me close to him from behind, and I tilted my head.
Johnathan stood there, looking amazing… he really did. Lizzy grinned at me and stepped in front of him. She leaned back, and he placed his hands on her stomach. She reached up and touched his face. He slowly kissed her, like the kind of kiss that I remember him for. The one that looks like it is forever. I felt my heart jump, and every human in the room dropped to the floor, in one loud thump. I took a breath and watched the kiss linger. Lizzy took her lips from his and looked at me. She snapped her fingers, and the music stopped. She tilted her head.
“You look upset,” she said to me.
I shook my head and felt Josh tighten his grip on me.
“I’m not,” I said to her, as I tried to clear my head.
“Oh, I would bet that you are… You see, Josh doesn’t know it, but you love Johnathan… almost as much as you love him,” she said.
Josh loosened his grip on me, and I looked back at him.
“I don’t,” I said, as I shook my head.
Lizzy took Johnathan’s wrist, and she bit him. I stepped forward, and Josh stepped with me. Lizzy lingered on his wrist and drank him in. My heart fluttered again, and Josh started to breathe harder. I sighed and bit my lip. Lizzy stopped and looked at us; she wiped her lip with her finger and licked it.
“You remember, his sweet taste… do you not, Rue?” she asked me.
I clinched my fists and did. I did remember. A flash of the field came into mind, and suddenly, we all stood there. I looked over and there I was, on top of Johnathan, with a blade. I cut him and placed his hand in my mouth. I looked at Josh, and he stared at the memory of Johnathan and I in the grass… Johnathan arching his back and me drinking him in. Lizzy laughed and leaned against Johnathan, who stared off into nothingness. His eyes looked dark and unfamiliar to me.
“Stop it,” I said.
She laughed and snapped her fingers again.
We were all now standing next to Johnathan’s car, and I was on top of him, kissing him as he grabbed at my hair, in the front seat.
“I like this one… I do. It looks hot,” Lizzy said.
I turned to Josh and shook my head.
“This isn’t real,” I said.
Josh stared at the car and then at me.
He opened his mouth, but then said nothing.
Lizzy stepped from Johnathan and ran her finger up the car, leaning in the window. She tilted her head.
“I am really surprised that you didn’t just slip your panties off and let him finger you Rue… I mean, come on!” she said.
I turned t
o her and glanced at the car, as the windows steamed up.
“This was the past, Lizzy; I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“Oh really?” she asked.
“This was before Josh and I ummm,” I said.
Lizzy looked at Johnathan and smiled.
“Before they did it, Johnathan, as I told you,” she said.
Johnathan looked at me, and his face softened. I felt like an ass. I had lied and held onto that lie when I spoke to him last, and I just couldn’t say it. I couldn’t, not to him.
Lizzy laughed and stood up. She snapped her fingers, and we were at the carnival. I could hear moaning from the tent, and just knew that she had pulled out a memory of Josh and I together for the first time. I gritted my teeth as she grabbed Johnathan’s hand and walked him to the tent opening and pulled it back. I stood there, my body tensing up, and I stepped towards them. Josh grabbed my hand, and Johnathan looked in. He quickly looked away and at the ground.
“You see… she is a liar,” Lizzy said to him.
Johnathan didn’t look at me, and I hated it. I really did.
He stood there, clinching his fists.
“You saved it all for her, and she deceived you, Johnathan. She loves Josh, and he took her from you,” Lizzy said.
Johnathan looked at Josh, and Josh straightened his back up and stared back.
“I did not steal her,” Josh said.
I stepped up and looked at Johnathan.
“I love you, but not the way that I love Josh,” I said.
Johnathan sighed and looked at me.
Lizzy touched his face and laughed.
“There, doesn’t it feel better...? Just to clear the air,” she said.
“You are a bitch,” I said.
Lizzy looked at me in a flash and grinned.
“Me...? Oh no, it is you that is the bitch and the whore,” she said.
I shook my head at her.
“I am not a whore,” I said.
Lizzy snapped her fingers, and we were in my room. Josh, Lily, and I were on the floor. I sucked in my breath and looked at Josh. He tilted his head and grinned.
“Damn,” he said, as he watched the three of us on my bedroom floor.
