by Rue Volley
“Son of a bitch!” Josh cried out as he stumbled back and Johnathan pulled his blade, dripping in blood from Josh’s side.
Something snapped in me. Something I didn’t even know that I had. I felt a rush of adrenaline as I pushed myself forward and slid across the floor, I grabbed Josh’s blade from his hand as he was dropping it to the floor. I rolled on my side and onto my feet, blade in hand as if I had always done it… always known how to fight with one. Johnathan looked at me and smiled.
“I knew travelling this way would be a dangerous proposition… perhaps I welcomed it.” He said as he stood there with Josh’s blood dripping on the floor. Josh stumbled and fell backward, hitting the floor with a thud and I glanced at him and then turned back to Johnathan and held the blade up to him strong and unwavering.
“You talk too much.” I said as I flashed towards him and his blade came down on mine. I felt the power of it and almost stumbled, but I caught myself on my hand and pushed myself up quickly.
“Disappointing, as I hoped you would not be.” He said to me.
“What?” I said as we paced in front of each other. I heard Josh hiss and peeked at him quickly as he pulled his hand from his side and I saw the blood… but I had no ache, no need to go to him and drink it. I looked back at Johnathan and tilted my head.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked him.
“You are the shield.” He said as it echoed in my head. I grabbed the side of my head with my free hand and felt a wave of nausea come over me.
“The what.” I said half winded.
Johnathan raised his hand and a light started to glow in his palm. He waved his hand slowly and the light snaked its way out of him and to me. It wrapped my legs, burning and pulling at me. I cried out as it inched its way up my body. I gripped the blade tightly in my hands and gritted my teeth, trying to power through the pain.
“A joke… a construct, it’s all in your head.” He said to me.
I felt that rock me back and I stumbled, I slipped in Josh’s blood and slowly raised my hand seeing the warm blood on it. I took a breath and pushed myself back up to face him. I reached out and lifted the other blade in my hand, holding onto it as tightly as I could. I held them both out in front of me.
“You will see.” He said to me as he crossed his blades over his chest and then threw them in one blurred movement towards both sides of the ship. The blades stuck, one in one thick window and one in the other. I cried out as I turned and suddenly my life hit me like a freight train… flooding my memory with so much I fell to my knees in Josh’s blood... My Mother, My Father… Kai. Sara, Sam, Theodore... Joshua and then Gracie, my beautiful daughter. I fell onto my back screaming as I held my head and then the windows broke… cold dark water flooding the room, sucking the breath out of me… I felt it slam me against metal, and then I was sucked out into nothingness… cold black and lonely, to match only my heart.
***
Memory. It is a treacherous thing. It is something that you live with every day, creating new and filing away the old. I like to think of memory as a whole other world, something tangible but not controlled in any way. It is because of that, that I not only hold it dear to my heart… but fear it more than anything that I have ever known.
***
I felt it… the hit to my back… not only that but a sharp pain to my chest. It felt like a hot knife, used with no more care than one would with a butter knife to toast. I tried to move my eyes, but they feel frozen… like someone had welded them shut. Trust me… not cool in anyway, nowhere near it. I felt myself moving, rising really, or at least I was guessing that I was. I took a breath as something covered my mouth, not like I really did it I guess, but it felt forced. Crazy pressure filling my lungs and making me moan. I did… moan that is, I actually heard it and then I faded away again.
***
I see a faint light… bright but glossy, floating over me. I actually tried to raise my hand up to touch it. I heard muffled voices… none familiar to me, all echoed and strange… another light and then blackness again. Always into the blackness, and there were no dreams, no memories, no life. I felt nothing, nothing at all.
***
I fluttered my eyes as I see movement, then I feel my eye held open and bright light floated past me. I tried to follow it, but my head ached and my heart is heavy and I did not feel like me. I felt like something broken and left behind. I couldn’t move, and I couldn’t say a word. I wanted to, I feel like screaming out to anyone who would listen to me, but I had nothing to help me to do it. My lips failed me, my body failed me and my mind was scattered and torn. Again I slumbered in the darkness of nothing, like I would rather exist in moments than really exist at all.
“Rue.”
I hear you, I do.
“Rue.”
The voice sounded familiar to me and I wanted to wake and respond to it, it sounded warm and inviting, like home. Then a deep weight hits my chest, almost as if I am being bent in half, twisted into something foreign.
“Rue. It’s time.” I hear.
“Time for what?” I whispered.
Did I? Did I say that out loud? I felt like I had been talking in my head for so long that I couldn’t be sure. Couldn’t be sure of anything now. Nothing at all and I couldn’t tell you how awful that was, wanting to talk, wanting to be touched or to touch, escaping blackness and cold, and I was cold… so much so that I felt like ice. Then my head rocked back as I had that thought slice through me. Memories jumbled, the smell of gasoline… screaming, crying. I sucked in my breath and sat straight up, blood rushing to my head and making me feel dizzy immediately. I blinked, the light hurts my eyes, the air feels warm… one comfort to me at least. I started to shake and a girl ran towards me and touched my face as she yelled out. She grabbed the box next to my bed and started to press on the button, over and over as my eyes watered uncontrollably, making it look as if I was crying, but I wasn’t… I really could not control it. The water that is and another sharp pain rocked my head and I screamed and fell back, arching my back. I thrashed in the bed as others came running in, one grabbing arms, others grabbing legs and the needle appeared. It came into my view and I continued to scream and then the sharp prick of it pierced the flesh on my arm and the will to battle started to fade. In fact they all faded, slowly and then away… completely out of view and back to nothing I go. As if I was built to live there forever. In the black.
***
I felt myself rise up. It came with a slight vibration… like a small engine humming underneath me. I could feel it, which was good. I blinked my eyes and the light was so much dimmer now. Good thing to me. The last time I saw light it was like the sun was burning straight through to my brain. Awful… terrible, all the nasty words you can think of. The humming stopped and I slowly opened my eyes as things refused to come into focus. Then a shape appeared as it crossed in front of me and started to pull on the curtain. I actually raised my hand, unbelievable that my hand and arm listened to me. I remember trying to move and not so many times in and out of consciousness, in the light and then fading into blackness. I took a breath and tried to keep my heartbeat slow and steady. I looked over and a machine beeped at me, every heartbeat matched to the screen. I looked back out into the room and a girl stepped towards me, smiling… well, grinning really, she was not showing her teeth… so I guess we cannot classify it as a full on smile. She looked young, dressed in white. I tried to smile, but my lips found it hard to do… in fact my whole face felt funny, kind of numb in a way. I looked at her and she leaned up and looked into my face.
“Rue.” She said.
I nodded.
“Do you know where you are honey?” she asked me.
I shook my head no. I mean I would be all in a panic, but I would guess that this plastic tube leading from my arm to a machine is probably making me feel pretty calm right now.
She sat down on the bed and looked at my arm and then back at my face.
“Honey… you were in an accident
.” She said.
I blinked and looked around the room.
“An accident.” I repeated, like a parrot.
“Yes… and you were seriously hurt.” She said.
“Hurt.” I said, as I remained calm.
“Do you remember anything at all?” she asked me.
I nodded. I mean I did remember, I remembered a lot. I remembered my family, every single one of them… I remembered my love… the love of my life and I remembered my daughter… my Gracie. I thought these through and didn’t speak, I found it impossible to mention them. I wanted to, but I had learned that less was more in some situations, and perhaps I should allow someone to tell me.
“What do you remember?” she asked me.
“Cold, blackness... screaming.” I said.
“Okay then.” She said as she stood up and walked to the door.
“The doctors will be with you shortly, you have much to discuss with them.”
“Okay.” I said as I started to mess with my hands. I looked at them and raised them in front of my face. They looked pale, thin. The skin almost translucent. Lighter I guess, in a weird way. I looked up when the door opened and a boy walked in. My heart fluttered as I watched him lower his clipboard and he stepped up into the dim light by my bed.
“Hello Rue.” He said.
Regardless of the drugs I tried to push myself up and he sat down quickly next to me. I lunged at him and sunk my face into his chest and started to cry. He held me, touching my hair and then he slowly pulled me back from him and looked at my face as he touched it softly.
“Rue… I am Joshua, I have taken care of you for quite some time now.”
I crinkled my eyebrows and looked at his tag. It did say “Joshua Barrington.”
“I know who you are.” I whispered.
“Well… good, that is a start.” He said as he tapped my leg. I looked down at his hand and back up at his face.
“What is wrong with you?” I whispered.
He half grinned and tilted his head. I waited for him to pull out some smart-ass comment, something that would annoy me to no end… but so needed right now.
“Nothing… I wanted to talk to you.” He said.
“Okay.” I said completely confused.
“As I was saying, I have taken care of you… since the accident… in fact I found you, I don’t know if you knew that.” He said.
“Umm, no.” I said as I raised my hand slowly and pushed my hair behind my ear.
“Okay then… do you remember, the accident that is?” he asked me.
I looked at him and bit my lip.
“You mean on the water ship?” I asked him.
“No… no. The car.” He said.
“What?” I asked him.
“The car Rue… the one your Father was driving.”
“No… I ah…” I said as I looked around the room and it almost felt like it was starting to tilt a little.
“Okay. Maybe we should talk more tomorrow.”
“No!” I yelled as loud as I could. I grabbed his arm and he looked at my hand and sighed.
“You might not be able to handle all of this so quickly.”
“I can… just keep talking to me.” I said as I looked at the window. It was barely cracked and I could see some sunlight, some blue sky.
“You and your family had an accident Rue, the car plunged into red river, off the bridge and you were in the freezing water for quite some time.” He said.
“Oh.” I said as I looked back at him.
He raised his eyebrows and looked at my eyes.
“It was a stroke of luck that I happened to be driving that night, I usually avoid cars, and I umm saw the skid marks on the road and then the hole in the metal guardrail.” He said.
I waited, it sounds like a fairytale… he can go on and tell it, truth was I was just so happy to see him… well, I couldn’t explain it in words really.
“Anyway, I called it in and slipped down the hill, towards the water. The car was almost completely submerged, I jumped in… I am not the best swimmer, but I pulled you out, onto the shore and gave you mouth to mouth. You were blue, no telling how long you were under water Rue, we brought you to the hospital and then we moved you here… to the asylum.”
“What is a while?” I asked as the word ‘asylum’ stuck in my head.
He tilted his head again.
“You have been here for four years Rue… almost to the day.”
“Uh huh.” I said as I looked at his face.
“Are you okay?” he asked me.
“I guess the next thing you are going to tell me is that my family is dead.” I said.
“Well.” He said as he stood up.
“Trust me, I have dealt with weirder.” I said.
“Rue, I think that we should continue to talk tomorrow.” He said.
“No… just tell me everything now, why wait? What will tomorrow be “better day for shitty news” day… or something?” I said.
He half laughed. I expected him to, I mean his humor is just as mine is, I know this. I do, and this whole thing is a façade, I just know it.
He stepped back up to the bed and then I saw it. The ring, on his finger. I sat up and stared at it.
“What is that?” I asked him as I pointed at it.
Josh lowered his hand and looked at it.
“My wedding band?” he said.
“Your WHAT?” I yelled at him.
He took a step back from me and I felt myself surge with adrenaline.
“Why the hell do you have a wedding band on?” I asked him.
“Well… they normally hand them out at weddings… they did at mine.” He said.
I jumped off the bed and started to walk towards him.
“Who... Who did you marry?” I asked him.
He narrowed his eyes and backed away from me.
“Her name is Lily, Rue… why the hell does it matter?”
I raised my hands up and closed my eyes. I am gonna zap the stupid right out of him… I am gonna slam him into next week and then I expect an apology the size of memory to come my way… Lily? WTF?
I peeked at my hands and nothing, no light… in fact I feel nothing, no humming, no vibration… no anything. I wiggled my fingers and raised my hands up and Josh bit his lip and placed his hand to his chin.
“What exactly are you doing?” he asked me.
I shook my hands out and concentrated harder than I have ever concentrated before. I mean where was my flashy thingy? Where was the light and the energy surging through me? Where? I cannot even see the core of the earth behind my eyes.
“How old am I?” I asked him.
He shook his head at me.
“HOW OLD AM I?!” I screamed at him.
“15 Rue… you are 15.” He said.
I ran to the mirror and stared at myself.
I leaned in and looked at my goofy, awkward face… younger than I ever remember seeing myself. My hair was long, but laid flat to my head. I looked like a child, and I was. I turned to him and sucked in my breath. Then I screamed.
“FUCK!”
“Okay… okay… listen, you need to calm down.” Josh said.
“Nope.” I said as I ran back to the mirror and stared at it.
Josh ran up behind me and looked at my reflection in the mirror.
“Damn… you are so hot, you know it?” I said as I turned and looked at him.
He pulled his cute little clipboard up to his chest and stared at me.
“What?” he asked me.
“Hot... pretty, cute.” I said as I stepped towards him.
“I will say thank you… but…”
“But what.” I said as I walked towards him and he backed away from me.
“Listen Rue… I am your doctor, much older than you... and…”
“Ha!” I said as I started to laugh.
He bumped into the bed, and I jumped on him. He fought me… I mean I knew he would, and I suddenly found myself feeling stronger, strong
er than I thought I ever could. I looked over at the machine and then at my arm. I jerked the cord out and hissed.
“Drink this.” I said.
He looked at me like I was crazy, and maybe I am but I was not going out like this. I knew who I was. I do, and I so know who he is, he just doesn’t… and this bullshit woven here is none other than a trap, built by a demon… one that goes by the name of Johnathan, and he won’t win. Not my life, no one will. I lifted the needle and ripped it off the end and held it over Josh’s face. It started to release my blood onto him and he yelled like a girl, he really did. Something I would so enjoy bringing up later on… but right then I needed for him to snap the hell out of it, I really did. No doubt.
“Joshua Barrington!” I yelled at him while he twisted and turned underneath me. Then I slammed it to his mouth and he made an awful noise, like someone was trying to kill him.
“You are crazy! Oh my god! CRAZY!” he yelled at me.
“Drink it!” I screamed at him.
He was successfully fighting it off so I jumped off of him and grabbed the blood bag and ran to the bathroom. I slammed the door just as he reached it. I flipped the lock and looked back at the mirror. I busted the bag in the sink and smeared my hand in it. I raised my shaking hand to the mirror and started to draw a symbol, I tried to control my breathing but it was so hard to do. Josh was pounding on the door and yelling at me and my head hurt, it really did… much worse now as I tried my best to remember. I continued to draw until I stepped back and knew that it was my best, this was it… the portal symbol that I needed. I closed my eyes as the door shook behind me and then I heard it, a small sound at first and then the mirror started to move… waving like water... I almost cried but now I needed to get the hell out of there and Josh was coming with me… but how the hell was I supposed to do that. I couldn’t get him to drink blood, big surprise. What a pussy by the way! Ha! Anyway I fidgeted with my hands and yelled out to him.
