by Alex Lux
It only took me one turn to sink the eight ball and win the game. I put my leather coat on, then reached for the money, well over three hundred dollars, and pulled back just in time to avoid a broken hand as he slammed his pool stick against the table.
"You fucking cheat. Yer a shark." The jowls of his chin vibrated with his rage, and his beady eyes squinted like a rat. "You 'aint getting none of my money, or yours."
It was for moments like these, rare though they were, that my drinks were always alcohol-free.
I relaxed my body and assessed the room around me. Two exits, one in front and one in back. I could get through the back door easily enough and hop on my bike. Daryl had two friends at least as big as him, but their collective mass had more to do with their daily beer intake than any gym memberships.
I could take them, if I had to. But better not to fight, especially in the bar. If the cops showed up before I could extricate myself, it would create a whole new pain in the ass I didn't want to deal with.
I reached for my money again, and he lunged at me. Anticipating his move, I shoved the money in my back pocket as I twisted to the side, then used his weight against him to knock him on his ass.
He hadn't been hurt, so his buddies didn't know whether to fight me or help him up. Most people, even oversized idiots, didn't want trouble with the police.
Hands in the air, I gave my surrender. "Look, I just got lucky on that last one, but I won fair and square." I backed up toward the door, ready to bolt if he or his friends came after me.
Daryl slapped his friend's hand away and used the pool table to help himself stand. "Give me back my money, or I'll rip yer face off and take it back myself."
I shot a mournful glance at the hot waitress, who realized that I wouldn't be sticking around for closing, then darted out the door to my bike.
Daryl and his friends had no chance to catch up to me, which was for the best, since I really didn't want to be responsible for taking his money and sending him to the hospital all in one night.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. Very few people had this number, and those that did weren't likely to use it at this time of night… unless….
My hotel in Portland, Oregon was close enough that it made more sense to go straight there than try to find someplace safe to pull over. Not to mention it was freezing outside. Ten minutes later I had settled into my hotel room and checked the messages on my phone.
Five calls, and all from the last person on earth I wanted to speak to.
I selected the last incoming call and pressed the green call button on my phone. The first ring cut off as a familiar voice answered.
"Son, is that you?"
I sat on the cardboard-like bed and pulled off my boots. "Yeah, Dad, it's me. What's up? Is Mom okay?"
"She's fine. But, Dean…. " His voice trailed off as if he didn't know how to say what he had to say next. Except my dad always knew what to say.
"Dad, what happened? Is Dean okay?" Real fear gripped my chest. I hadn't seen my younger brother since I left home two years ago, but we still talked every chance we got. I may have been a shitty brother, but I loved him.
"There's been an accident, son. You need to come home. Dean's in trouble."
It took four hours to get home, and I thanked the gods that be that I hadn't been back East or in the Midwest when the call came in. Pulling onto the vast estates that my parents owned, I imagined what they would think when they saw me.
It had been two years, and I'd changed a lot. I also smelled like a night at the bar.
I pulled off my helmet and attached it to my bike, then walked the long path to the front door and rang the bell. It may have been my family home, but it wasn't my home anymore.
My sister, Tammy, met me at the door and pulled me into a hard hug. "Oh my God, Derek, where have you been? We've missed you." She stepped away to look at me and smiled. "I've missed you. How could you just abandon your little sister like that?"
"Tam, we talk every week. It's not like I disappeared." But I had to admit, it felt good to see her again. She'd grown a lot. Last time I saw her she'd just turned sixteen and had been a late bloomer. Now she was a young woman, and she'd definitely bloomed. A growl formed at the base of my throat at the thought of any man touching her, but Dean, her twin brother, could look after her. They'd always been close. I was only four years older, but it felt like a lot more, especially after I left.
"What happened? Is Dean okay?"
Her smile at seeing me faded, as she struggled to hold in the tears forming in her eyes. "No, no he's not. Come in. Dad wants to talk to you, I'm sure, and Mom is dying to see you."
She took my backpack from me. "They're in the library. I'll put this in your room."
"I still have a room?" I'd assumed they'd turned it into a gym, or a scrapbooking room for my mom.
"Of course you still have a room." She rolled her eyes and for a moment looked like the sixteen-year-old girl I'd left behind. "This is your home. Your family. You'll always have a place here, whether you want it or not."
Her words cut at me, though I didn't think she meant them to. She and Dean could never understand why I left, why I didn't want to join the family business and become Dad's mini-me. Sometimes, I had a hard time understanding it myself.
David O'Conner commanded a room, whether alone and casual or amidst hundreds of people in formal wear. He pushed his plush leather chair back from his mahogany desk and stood when I walked in. "Derek, you've come home."
My mother, Lauren O'Conner, the woman who had turned down a New York modeling career to become a literature professor, replaced a copy of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales that she'd been perusing and smiled up at me. "My boy."
They'd aged since I'd seen them last, but they wore it well. A creeping of grey hair at his temples gave my father a distinguished look, and my mother, always a beauty, still carried herself with a grace and elegance that few women could mimic.
She put her delicate hand on my face. "Have you found what you've been looking for, out there on the road?"
I shrugged. "Maybe life isn't about the answers, but rather the adventure."
"Always the wandering philosopher." She shook her head, but didn't lose her smile. "I'll let you and your father catch up. Come tell me of these adventures when you have a few moments to spare, will you?"
I kissed her cheek, still smooth despite the fine lines forming around her eyes. "Of course. It's good to see you again, Mom."
When she closed the door behind her, my dad held out his arms to me and I accepted his hug, then pulled back. "I'm not staying. I'm just here to help with Dean until he's better."
My dad's smile faded. Seemed I was on a roll at tearing the hope from everyone tonight. "I know you don't want to be here, but I'm glad you came. Tammy needs you now most of all. This has hit her the hardest."
"She seemed okay to me." A lie. She had only seemed okay on the surface, but I could tell she carried a lot of pain and rage in her eyes.
"You know your sister. She doesn't want anyone thinking she's weak." He walked to the leather loveseat in the corner and sat down, gesturing for me to join him. I sat across from him in the matching chair.
People always said we looked alike. My father's dark hair had turned salt and pepper, but I'd seen pictures of him when he was my age, and I supposed I could see the resemblance. We were both tall, with a lean build, dark hair and unusual eyes. But where I was most comfortable in jeans and a leather jacket, my dad enjoyed fine tailored suits, even when working from home, like now.
Around us, books covered the walls from floor to ceiling, and my fingers itched to pick one from a shelf and start reading. I'd spent a lot of time in this room as a child growing up, and it brought back memories. For the last two years, I'd had to keep my library on an e-reader, and I missed the feel of actual paper between my fingers as I read.
On one wall, a fire burned bright, crackling as it consumed the wood and filling the room w
ith the smell and memories of campfires.
Dad noticed my focus and smiled a real smile. "You know you're welcome in here anytime. These books are for everyone, not just me."
I nodded without committing to anything. It would be too easy to get sucked into this life again, and I wasn't willing to give up my freedom. "What can I do to help with Dean?"
"Before we talk about Dean, I'd like to hear about your adventures. What have you been doing? You haven't used any of your trust fund, so I'm curious about how you've been supporting yourself."
"I've just been traveling. You know, seeing the country. I make do." I didn't want to talk about this right now; I just wanted to see my brother.
"You know, son, if you just come home, there's a place for you here. A place for you at Rose Botanicals. You don't have to work in my office if you don't want to. We could find you a place that suits your… temperament."
I stood, angry that he'd use this time to once again push me into his mold. "I'm going to see Dean. I don't want to have this conversation again, Dad. I can't be who you want me to be. Not now. Not ever. Just let it go."
His disappointed sigh followed me out the door and up the stairs to Dean's room, where I assumed he'd be. When I walked in, Tammy looked up at me with unshed tears still full in her eyes. When I saw Dean, the tears flooded my eyes as well.
"What the hell happened to him?"
THREE
Seek a Foe
ROSE
Thou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe.
— William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
Dear Diary,
I dreamed of him again, the man who haunts me at night. But the dream is changing. Before, all I felt was longing and unfulfilled desire. This time, I could touch him, feel him, taste him. It happened in a flash, as dreams often do, and carried with it the scent of magic, but for that moment, I was normal. My touch no longer brought death, only pleasure.
I wonder if I'll ever know that during my waking hours. I can touch others, of course, not each contact with flesh brings about their soul's death. My skin carries the dark infection like a Trojan horse, harmless until it's unleashed.
The true danger lies in never knowing when it will unleash itself. It fights to claw its way out of me, like a trapped wild thing scraping at the door of my subconscious, looking for a way to escape.
That first time it happened, I'd been a young girl hurt by the ridicule of another. My hurt had turned to anger, and that anger had let loose the locks that kept my dark gift contained.
When Mother was attacked, fear and intent set it free.
And Mother always said that passion, too, would undo me, releasing my darkness against my lover's flesh.
It was a risk I could never take, save in dreams.
TEARS FELL FROM my eyes and bile rose in my throat. I pushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach in the toilet rather than my bedroom. I'd never used that much of my power before, not since… Not since I was six and Donna Smuckers said I was a devil worshipper. I hadn't meant to hurt her, hadn't meant to wipe the light from her eyes like that. I didn't even know I could.
The unwelcome memory played side-by-side with last night's horrors. Two lives lost because of what I was. Did it matter that last night was in defense of Mother? That the wolf would likely have killed her, and probably me? It seemed like that little fact should have weighed heavier, like it should have given a moral rightness to my soul. But nothing could erase my guilt.
With shaky legs I walked back into my living room. Ocean, my best friend, stood in the kitchen with a pot of tea while Jasmine, my little sister, flipped through pages of a book on my coffee table. They both looked up at me as I sank into my favorite overstuffed chair and propped my feet up on the matching red ottoman. Sandy whined and put her head in my lap. I stroked her soft ears and murmured platitudes I hoped would give her some calm after last night's scare.
No one spoke, and I raised my eyebrow. "Well? What happened after I passed out?"
Ocean brought me a cup of tea and sat on the couch next to Jasmine before answering. She crossed her long legs, baring more thigh as her already short shorts crept up higher. Even in the winter she showed more skin than most people did in the summer, but she got away with it. Ocean was like her name, vast and strong and inviting. She could have been a mermaid in another life with her long red hair full of wild curls and green eyes full of mischief. But any playfulness had been dampened by what happened.
Now, she was all business. "Rainbow had Blake take the guy that attacked us back to their property, and he's getting the cars fixed. No one blames you, Rose. You did what you had to do to protect your mother and yourself."
I ignored her last statement, took a sip of my tea, and thought about all that had happened last night. One thing didn't make sense. "Why was he here at all?"
Ocean frowned. "Who?"
"The wolf guy. What was he doing here? How'd he get in Mother's room in the first place?"
Jasmine huffed in annoyance. "Why even ask something like that? Who knows why these creeps do anything? They could have killed our mom."
I looked at my sixteen-year-old sister. "How is Mother?"
She shrugged and ran a hand through her dark bob with purple highlights. "You know. Normal. Nothing phases her. She wasn't happy you missed the meeting this morning, though."
Ocean kicked Jasmine and shot her a nasty look. "You had to bring that up?"
I sat my tea down on the table so hard the water sloshed out. "What? Seriously? I was unconscious. After saving her life. That's a legit reason to miss a 4 a.m. meeting."
Jasmine narrowed her hazel eyes at Ocean. "What? I'm just giving her the heads up. She should know. I'm not saying I agree with Mother." She looked at me. "Obviously, you couldn't have been at the meeting. I'm sure she's grateful for what you did, but everyone else is really nervous. You haven't done that since you were little. People forgot, but now… I don't think they'll forget anytime soon."
"Right. I'll be even more of a leper. Great."
Ocean grabbed my hand, my bare hand, and held it, looking me square in the eye. "They can go screw themselves as far as I'm concerned. You did what you had to do, and I'll never be scared of you, Rose. Never."
I squeezed her hand and then pulled away, scared enough for the both of us. People had a right to be worried. What I could do shouldn't have even existed or been possible, and I'd never known how to handle it. It's why I was homeschooled in high school, why I took online classes for college, and why I had no friends or social groups outside of our coven. I was too dangerous to be around people. Rose—the beautiful flower with the deadly thorns.
Outside, the stillness of the morning gave false promises of peace. I knew the truth, nothing about this day held peace, but I had to find some way through this. "I'm getting dressed, and then I'm going to find someone who will teach me self-defense."
Ocean smiled with as much force as Jasmine frowned, and my sister jumped on the attack. "You know Mother has forbidden that. People might find out about you, about us. It's too risky. You could hurt someone."
I pulled a long-sleeved cotton shirt and another pair of jeans from my drawer, then slammed it shut. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sis."
"I'm not trying to be mean, but you know this is a bad idea."
"No, I really don't know that." My voice escalated with my own anger. "What I know is that draining people of their life is a bad idea. What I know is that I can never do this again and still live with myself. I need other tools, other ways of defending myself and others. If I'd done this earlier, that boy might still be alive."
Jasmine crossed her arms over her chest. "He is alive, Rose. Don't be dramatic."
"Dramatic? Seriously?" Oh if only I could hit my sister. "You weren't there, Jas. You didn't see him after I touched him. You don't know anything about what I can do, or how it makes me feel."
She stood and stomped her foot. "You always think you're so spe
cial, so much better than everyone else. Well, I'm sick of it. Do what you want, but don't blame me when it all goes wrong."
The door slammed hard behind her, shaking the windows and causing Sandy to bark. Ocean and I looked at each other with matching stunned expressions. My heart felt heavy. "Does she really hate me that much? Does she really think I think that I'm better than everyone else?"
Ocean shook her head. "She doesn't know what she feels or thinks right now. She's sixteen and full of conflicting hormones. Don't take it personally, Rose. It'll pass. Jasmine loves you. We all love you."
I tried to remember being sixteen. It wasn't that long ago, but it all blurred together. Nothing ever seemed to change in my life, and all my memories felt like photocopies of each other. Always the same.
Jasmine lived a more normal life than I had, so maybe she had a more diverse spectrum of experiences. I hoped so, for her sake. "Do you think she'll tell Mother about my classes?"
"I don't think so. Besides, it doesn't matter." She spun me around to face the mirror hanging on my wall. "You do realize that you're an adult? She has no legal claim on your life or your choices anymore."
My reflection didn't convey an adult in charge of her own life. Instead, my mousy brown hair, ordinary hazel eyes and make-up less face made me look young and unremarkable. The kind of girl who lives under the thumb of another and who never speaks out in her own defense.
A new awareness settled in me, and I turned away from the girl in the mirror. "You're right. It's time I took control of my own life. Let's find a place to learn self-defense."
Ocean's face lit up in a smile, her dimpled cheeks, red lips and emerald eyes so beautiful. "Perfect! I'm so proud of you, Rose. Okay, I'll look online for different places today and we can check a few out tomorrow."
"No." I reached for my jacket and purse. "I'm going today. Now. I don't want to wait anymore."
