“I was thinking of hitting up a house party. You game?” Colt suggests.
“Sure, why not, but can you promise me one thing?”
“Anything.”
“No line dancing.”
***
Colt whips me around and draws me close. He may have thought dancing would keep us in check, but I think it only makes it worse. I press my hand against his, and I can feel the unresolved physical tension between our touch.
“Maybe we should get some water?” I ask when the song ends. He holds me so close that his breath tickles my forehead.
He clears his throat. “Yep. That’d be good.”
“Autumn?” A tall guy with jet-black hair asks. “Autumn Gallaber?”
“Yeah?”
“You probably don’t remember me. I’m Jake. Miss Tuddle’s third grade class? Remember me?”
Jake with the snotty nose, and obsession with snakes?
Whoa. How did he turn into this guy with long lashes, broad-shoulders, and a clean, pressed shirt?
Colt gives my shoulder a squeeze.
“Jake, absolutely. Wonderful to see you again.”
“You too. Hey, would you like to dance?” He looks to Colt. “I promise I won’t steal her away. Just a chance to catch up, ya know?”
“Sounds fun. I’d love to hear how you’ve been.” I’m grateful for a second away from Colt. He’s impossible to interpret. Every move he makes screams yes, but he says no. What’s a girl to do with that info?
“I’ll meet you after?” I turn, touching his chest for a moment so he knows I’m his for the night. .
“Have a nice time. I’ll grab those waters,” Colt says before walking away.
“Water?” Jake says as he takes my hand and guides back into the clearing in the living room where couples sway. “You’re not drinking?”
He pulls me in, way closer than a normal first dance.
“Nope. Not tonight.”
He spins me away and back in again.
“You haven’t changed one bit,” he says, brushing that loose strand of bangs out of my eye. Weird. I casually dance a step away from him. There, better.
“I’ll be honest. You have.”
The song changes, faster now. He keeps dancing with me, pretending the slow beat is still there. I should be more uncomfortable with how he’s holding me, but I’m used to men acting like this in the clubs back home.
“Good. I was kind of lame back then.” His wink isn’t like Colt’s, playful and fun. It’s long and creepy. He knows he’s attractive. Eww. Talk about the biggest turn off ever.
“Well,” I force a laugh. “I was too.”
“You still obsessed with My Little Pony?” He says with a wink.
“Nope.” I neglect to mention I slept in the sheets until the house burned down. We don’t need to talk about my bed right now.
“Well then, I guess you have changed. Actually,” he pulls me super close to his chest as he drives us into the middle of the crowd. “You’ve changed a lot.” His hand drops low on my back resting partly on my butt. Jake’s message is clear and my face heats. This is definitely not in my plans for the night.
“You’re totally gorgeous.” He reaches lower now and gives my ass a squeeze. “And super sexy hot.”
“Nope. Not happening.” I say as my hand removes his. If I don’t stop this now, experience has taught me he’ll get too rough. “I’m flattered and all, but I’m with Colt.”
He pauses, tracing my ringless finger. “Seems like you’re still a free agent.”
I try to step back. He’s got to be kidding. A ring or absence of one does not represent my availability, and, I’m sorry, but no one should get engaged at sixteen. This place is archaic if they think that’s normal.
With his other arm still around my waist he pulls me close and smashes his lips to mine. His tongue darts inside my mouth like a snake. He tastes of booze and Doritos. Gross. With both hands against his chest, I push away but one of his arms moves higher on my back, keeping me there. He rubs my shirt, over my burns, and the skin breaks. I feel filleted, the sharp breaks are wet. I shriek with the pain, like a thousand paper cuts on my upper back. Then, wam!, he’s tossed across the hardwood floor.
“You dick.” Jake yells as he recovers, running at Colt. Colt doesn’t falter, punching him in the face.
The space clears, and a group of cowboys hoot, shouting out their bets on Colt. Pure insanity.
I duck through the crowd, listening to the scuffle behind me. There’s no reason for me to cheer for Colt. I know his muscles, and compared to the ones I felt when I touched Jake’s shoulder, I know he’ll win. My back is stinging like crazy though—that needs to get checked out stat.
The stairs are tucked past the entrance. I rush up them, trying not to groan at the crappy decorating of scones filled with fake flowers. I’m so far from my favorite club, but at least I don't have to push my way through a sea of people to get to the bathroom here. The fluid weeping from my back can’t stick to my shirt. I need this cleaned up and covered. When I’m done, maybe I’ll go downstairs and kick Jake in the balls. I was so close to being able to sleep on my back again!
I open a few closet doors, curving down the random hallways added to the old farmhouse over the years. Finally, I notice a door at the end of the hall with a piece of notebook paper taped to it with the word bathroom scribbled on. Why even go to the trouble if you aren't posting arrows to guide the way?
The crowd cheers below. Ah come on, no real fight lasts this long. Now, they’re just being boys. Colt should walk away. This doesn’t have to be a big deal. Stuff happens like this in clubs back home all the time. Well, minus the weeping burns.
I open the door and turn on the light. A red-haired topless girl straddles a shirtless guy on the floor. The girl’s head whips around, glaring over her shoulder at me.
“Get out!” she yells.
But I freeze.
It’s Gina.
Her eyes bulge as she registers my face. “Autumn, get out!”
“Oh God, sorry.” I yank the door shut, and a picture frame falls to the floor.
I want to dart back downstairs and hide. This is the first time I've walked in on anyone. Why couldn’t it have been a stranger? That would’ve been funny. Of course it had to be Gina. Shit. Now we have to talk about it. The guys still scuffle below. Might as well get this convo out of the way. I don’t need it hanging over my head.
I walk away from the bathroom, picking up the dropped picture and studying a print of some horrible modern art. She never mentioned she was at that stage with Josh yet. She usually shares that stuff.
The bathroom door creaks and the guy steps out, putting back on his baseball cap. He nods to me as he walks by. No words--like he does this all the time. He leaves the door open and, through the crack, I see Gina, now dressed, leaning over the sink, repairing her make-up in the mirror.
I knock as I slip inside. She looks at me and rolls her eyes.
“Hey,” is all she says. Her tone has an edge, like that night in the club last fall. Awesome. I steady my voice, prepping for the wrath of Gina as an angry drunk.
“Gina, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to walk in on you and Josh. The light was off. I had no idea anyone was in here.”
Gina pouts out her lips and applies some tinted lip balm. “That wasn’t Josh.”
“Oh, sorry. I thought you were still with him.”
“I am.” Her reflection glares back at me.
“Oh,” I drop my eyes.
“His name’s Mitch. He’s always been on my list.” She opens the door, ready to leave.
“Your list?”
“Of guys to try."
Guys to try? That can’t mean what I think it does. I step in front of the door, blocking her exit. “What do you mean?”
Gina shrugs. “I like sex, okay? I have a list of guys-- kind of like that celebrity top list. An A-list. That’s all.”
My gut twists and there’s a question I’ve g
ot to ask. “Gina, how many guys are on your A-list?”
“Not including celebrities? Ten.” She throws her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head. “With celebrities, an even twenty.”
“And how many have you checked off?”
“Now?...Nine. Jake’s my last one.”
Well, after how that cowboy shoved his tongue down my throat downstairs, I have no doubt he’ll be up for it.
“Nine. Wow. I assume that includes Peter and Josh?” She nods and I raise an eyebrow. “Plus the guy in the club on New Years?”
“Oh my god.” Gina pushes past me and opens the door. “Don’t even think about giving me a lecture about my sex life.”
“Gina, I’m not. It’s only… it doesn’t sound safe.”
“Oh hell, you started it all. I took your advice. I disconnect and I have fun.” She pushes past me down the hallway, but I catch up, blocking her way.
“I didn’t mean it like that though, not just randomly sleeping around. You can hurt someone. You can hurt yourself.”
Her face doesn’t even change, no hint of understanding. Finally, she narrows her eyes at me in the mirror, then looks down to adjust her dress. Dude! It’s not my fault I ruined her buzz because I’m concerned about her well-being.
“Will you move? I hear Jake’s around.” She says, glancing at the door behind me.
Oh my gosh. She’s an early version of the woman who flirted with Dad when he was weak. It’s only a matter of years before she ruins a marriage if she views sex as a check list.
“Autumn. You need to chill out. I know you’ve been through a lot this summer with the fire and all, but I’m not loving this sentimental crap. When you’re around Colt, you act like you’re a total fool. Drooling all over him, watching every step, sighing with his touch. Now that is dangerous.”
“What Colt and I have is different. It’s uncomplicated. I’m trying to keep it that way.” My gut sinks. That’s not true. Tonight I was trying to complicate it. A lot.
“Well,” She smiles in a slow, evil way. “Does he know about what you did last summer? About your summer of love.”
“He knows I’m not a virgin. I don’t keep secrets.”
“Well, does he know you’re not a virgin like… thirty-seven times?”
“No, why would I tell him that? It was with the same guy, and that's none of his business.”
“Still, thirty-seven times. That’s a lot. I haven’t even hit that number yet.” She nods over my shoulder. “Oh, hey Colt.”
A hand rests on my shoulder, and my stomach crashes through the floor.
“Thirty-seven times, Autumn?” he asks, his voice soft.
My jaw dangles. I don’t know what to say. It was a full summer of nothing to do. That’s only a few times a day. Any horny teenage guy can make that happen, but I can’t tell him that. He’d never understand with his ability to restrain from me. He’s got supernatural virgin strength or something.
Gina pushes past me now and I curl in my fists, taking a deep breath. She’s supposed to be my best friend—how could she say that in front of him? It takes all my restraint to not throw her against the wall. I cling to the fact I can smell the alcohol on her. This isn’t her—she’s drunk right now.
“Oh, and Autumn?” She spins. “Colt was number one on my list. I checked him off last summer.”
The air hangs thick between us with Gina gone. My jaw’s still open. I can barely make sense of it all. Checked off? As in…
Colt lifts his hand from my shoulder and the absence of his warmth numbs my core. Colt and Gina? I look up at him. He’s got a swollen eye and dried blood under his nose.
“I thought you were a virgin,” I whisper.
“Thirty-seven times,” he says. “Thirty-seven times.”
“You slept with Gina? How could you not tell me that?”
He doesn’t answer. I touch him, but he pulls away.
“Colt, you lied.”
Again, there’s no answer and suddenly my mind snaps. I’m up in his face, shoving him against the wall. “You lied to me. Why didn’t you tell me? Gina! She’s my best friend.”
His glaring stare scares me. “She’s a user and a slut, and, apparently, so are you. Thirty-seven times. My God.” He turns away. The air between us freezes as he leaves me behind, walking down the stairs.
“Me?” I shout as I race down the steps. “Are you kidding? If you slept with her…” Oh god. How many other girls has he slept with too?
He slams the front door. I yank it open, running out as he’s climbs in his truck.
“How many girls, Colt?” I run into the gravel driveway and bang on his truck. “How many girls have you slept with?”
“Seven,” he shrugs, like it’s no big deal.
Somehow, I’m still standing while everything in me shatters.
“And you think I’m a whore?”
“Thirty-seven times? Yeah. For sure.”
The engine roars to life as he peels out of the drive. I kick the gravel high into the air. He slept with seven girls and he thinks he has the right to be pissed over me sleeping with one guy. Hypocrite.
A sob erupts from deep in my chest as that horrible corner of my mind stirs. So what’s wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough for him?
He’s been misleading me, playing a stupid game.
Faking good and pure.
Every time his hand rested on my back, I thought we had something real. He made me feel safe, but it was built on a filthy lie. One I believed. I tried to respect his decision. Hell, even earlier tonight, I wouldn’t have gone all the way. I wasn’t going to ruin his dream of purity. I’m not that horrible.
How could Colt act like this with me, the whole time knowing he’s living a lie?
Seven girls. Hell, it’s probably even more!
No. I take a deep breath but another sob escapes. I can’t let myself think this way. Screw him. I’m glad he never touched me. There’s no sense sullying my record with a terrible thirty-eighth. I turn back around to go back to the house, but stop as most of the party watches me from the porch.
Oh, God. Kill me now.
“Autumn?” Peter, Gina’s first sexual conquest of the summer, walks over, taking my hand and turning me by my elbow so I’m not facing the crowd. “Do you need a ride home?”
I want to say no, that I’m fine, but I'm clueless to where I am. It never occurred to me to watch the markers on the road.
He gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Or I could call Chris for you?”
“No, thanks.” Dad finding me here, deserted at a house party, is not an option. I wouldn’t even know how to explain everything. “I’d love a ride. Which one’s yours?” Hick-trucks and rusted out cars are scattered across the drive. I’m a fool for not having my license. My own nice truck, sits ignored and untouched in Colt’s driveway.
When we arrive at Colt’s, the front porch lights glow. I pray the door is unlocked. I didn’t bring my keys because Colt had his set. Seriously, I could scream at my own stupidity! A silhouette stands on the porch, giving Peter a wave as I climb out of the truck and up the front steps. For once, Dad’s habit of sitting alone on the porch comes in handy.
“Autumn?” he calls out. “Where’s Colt?”
“I don’t know.” I slide past him, hoping he won’t catch my swollen, tear-streaked face.
“Wait,” he takes my arm and pulls me back. “What happened?”
“Nothing, okay?”
“No, this isn’t nothing. Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?”
No, and no. Not anything more than a kiss. But he’s an ass, so now I don’t care.
“Autumn, what’s going on?” He lifts my chin slightly so I have to look him in the eye. “Did he cheat on you?”
And then I crumble.
That’s it. I’m done.
“He cheated on you? I’m going to kill him.” Dad says as he pulls me into a hug. “Where is he?”
“No.” I say through sobs. “He didn’t cheat, not really
.”
“Autumn, listen, I know you never defined your relationship with him, but you were in a relationship.”
“No, I mean, he didn’t cheat. No other girls.” I pull away from him, hiding in my hand. “Not now, at least.”
“What do you mean, not now?”
“Nothing. I just.… Nothing.”
“So he didn’t cheat?”
“No?”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No.”
Dad nods, putting his hand on my shoulder as he opens the door. The lights are on inside now, thanks to Grace walking down the stairs.
“But he broke your heart?”
“Yeah.” I say and then a sob escapes.
“That’s even worse,” Dad says under his breath as he leads me inside while Grace stands on the steps, her brow furrowed.
“Where’s Colt?” she asks, and the question makes my whole body heave. He left me. He abandoned me.
“Who knows."
“Oh dear.”
“Yeah.” Dad sighs.
“I’m waiting up,” she says.
“That’s fine. I’ll take Autumn upstairs.”
“No-its-okay” I say in one breath. I just need to hide to make it all stop. I haven’t cried like this since my first night away from Dad, curled up and sobbing in my new city bedroom.
“No, Autumn. You’re not fine. Let me help you.”
My mind abandons me, reason gone. With his offer, I crumble in his arms. “I’m sorry,” I say as he helps me walk up the stairs.
“Don’t apologize. This is what I’m here for.”
He opens the bedroom door and I lie face down, hiding my face in Colt’s pillow. He sits next to me, his hand steady on my arm. “What happened to your back?” He lifts the fabric off my back. I suck in a breath, trying not to howl. I try to tell him about the dance floor, but it all comes out jumbled. Thinking about Colt defending me when he’s been lying all along is so confusing. The words fall out as sobs.
Bring the Rain Page 16
