Sun & Shyne: Growing Pains

by Sa'id Salaam

  “I have to take the boys down to see my grandmother,” he said and mourned the blowjob that got cancelled.

  “Are you taking Sun and Shyne as well? They’re almost ten years old now. Don’t you think it’s time that they meet their great-grandmother? Or are your other kids better than them? Oh wait, I’m the side chick, so what my kids don’t count. Does she even know that you have twins?”

  “A’right, a’right! You’re right! I’ll take them when I get back,” he conceded. It was time to introduce them to the rest of their family.

  “I know I’m right! You always…wait, you said I’m right,” she giggled, feeling silly. She still had his dick in hand so she popped it into her mouth.

  “Come on,” Killa said, guiding her up.

  He put her in her favorite position, face down, ass up, and slid inside of her. He knew he was wrong so he laid some serious pipe to make it right. He bit his own lip hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to stave off reaching an orgasm. Once Yolo got off, he finally let go.

  “You need to get in trouble more often!” Yolo cheered as they cuddled.

  “I know I gotta do better. Things will change once I get back. I promise,” he promised.

  “And the kids and I can have you all of the time? All to ourselves?” she asked, pressing her luck.

  “Yolo, now you know the situation,” he said, meaning Sincerity. “If it wasn’t for her, we would be together.”

  “You for real?” she popped up and demanded. What he’d said and what she’d heard were two different things. She’d heard, ‘if you kill Sincerity, we can live happily ever after.’

  “Of…course, I…am,” he said between yawns.

  She laid back down and snuggled up against him. “It’ll be done by the time you make it back. This will be the kids’ best birthday ever!” Yolo sang.

  “Okay, babe,” Killa mumbled and drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 10

  Killa had a good night’s sleep and dreamt of an early morning blowjob. The alarm clock began to buzz and he opened his eyes to and realized that it wasn’t a dream. Yolo was showing him what life with her could be like. She’d adored him her whole life and would do anything to make him happy. Blowjobs first thing in the morning made him happy, so…

  “Good morning,” Yolo sang once the blowjob ended in the way that blowjobs should end. “I guess that was breakfast. Now, I’ll go fix something for you and the kids.”

  “Okay,” Killa said as she left the room.

  Ten years was a long time to put off making a choice. A week in South America would clear his mind enough for him to pick. He didn’t realize how long he’d been stuck in his thoughts until Yolo called up to tell him that breakfast was ready.

  “Hey, Daddy,” Shyne smiled and greeted the love of her life.

  “She got a boyfriend,” Sun said, looking for attention.

  “Snitch!” Yolo and Shyne yelled and fist bumped.

  “Okay, first of all, Sun, you have the right to remain silent and you should. Everything you say can be used against you in a court of law,” he informed his son before turning to his daughter, “Now, what’s this about a boyfriend? Who?”

  “He’s talking about Asad. And he’s NOT my boyfriend,” Shyne said, to his relief. However, it was short lived. “He’s my fiancé.”

  “What!” Killa yelled, coughing up his coffee.

  “Relax, Babe. You know he’s Muslim and Muslims don’t date, so he asked her to marry him,” Yolo explained.

  “So, when’s the big day?” the proud father asked. He actually liked the quiet kid with good manners.

  “After I graduate from college,” Shyne replied, causing her mother to beam brightly.

  “When we going back to shoot?” Sun butted in. He liked to be the center of attention, so he jumped back in.

  “Yeah, Daddy, when?” Shyne seconded. He’d started taking the kids to the range and they both loved it. Go figure, Yolo and Killa’s kids like guns.

  “As soon as I get back. And, we have another surprise for you guys, too!” he replied.

  Yolo assumed he meant him moving in and smiled even wider. This was one of the best days of her life. One of the last as well.

  ****

  “Spit something,” Killa dared when they all got into the car. He liked hearing his son’s little raps but it would also keep Yolo from pressing the issue. Little did he know, she was done with the conversation and had murder on her mind.

  “Okay, Daddy,” he agreed and turned to Shyne, “Hit it!”

  Shyne cupped her hands and began making a beat with her mouth. Yolo failed in her attempt not to laugh and cracked up. Sun bobbed his head for a couple of bars and jumped in like double-dutch.

  “Damn! He’s good!” Yolo told his father. He actually sounded better than most of the rappers on the radio. His vocabulary was certainly bigger.

  “He is,” Killa said proudly. He scanned his memory for music business connects to hook him up with. Sun didn’t stop rapping until they reached the airport.

  “Can we go with you?” Shyne pleaded, making her voice sound like a four-year-old’s. Just like her mother hold told her to.

  “Next time. Promise,” he said and scooped her up into his arms. She squealed in delight as he planted loud kisses all over her face. He put her down and turned to Sun.

  “Aight, yo,” Sun said with a pound and a man hug.

  “Aight,” Killa chuckled as they dapped.

  Yolo was all smiles, knowing that she was next. The kids turned away in disgust as their parents shared an intimate kiss.

  “It’ll be done by the time you get back,” she assured him once her tongue returned into her own mouth.

  “Um…okay,” he replied, still not knowing what she was talking about.

  “Love you,” Yolo said sadly as he walked away to board his flight.

  “Love you, too,” Killa mumbled to himself as he got on the plane.

  ****

  “Get dressed, we’re going out,” Yolo told her children. She heard the distress in her tone and softened it, “We’re going to The Museum of Natural History.”

  “Yay!” Sun and Shyne cheered and clapped. The little intellectuals loved learning experiences. They would choose the library over a video arcade sometimes.

  “What’s wrong, Mommy?” Shyne asked her troubled mother.

  “If anything ever happens to me, I want you to always take of your brother. You’re the strong one, so look out for him,” the mother said, trying not to cry.

  “Okay, Mommy,” she whined, on the verge of tears. Luckily for both, Sun came in and broke it up. Shyne went to triple check her afro puffs leaving mother and son alone.

  “Look, Sun, if anything happens to me, I want you to always take care of your sister. You’re the strong one, so it’s up to you to look out for and take care of her.”

  “Men are the maintainers and protectors of women,” Sun said, nodding in agreement with himself.

  “That’s deep! Where’d you get that from?” Yolo asked knowing he didn’t come up with on his own.

  “Asad told me. It’s in the Qur’an,” he replied.

  His sister joined them and they headed out to the car for the drive into the city.

  ****

  “It’s about damn time!” Diedra grunted when Killa announced that he would be bringing the twins down on his next visit. “You can leave that crazy ass girl right where she’s at!”

  “That crazy girl saved your life,” Killa reminded. He surprised them both by sticking up for Yolo. He knew his grandmother was about to go in, so he pulled out pictures of the twins to distract her.

  “Oh my God, they are beautiful!” she said, gushing over her great grandkids. “Wow, he looks just like you! And she is gorgeous with her little afro puffs.”

  “They are super smart, too!” the proud papa proclaimed.

  “So…what are you going to do? You can’t keep up living a double life with two households in two different states forever,
” his grandmother said.

  “I know,” he replied, even though he’d been doing just fine for almost ten years. Yes, both women complained and vied to be exclusive, but everyone was well taken care of. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to marry one of them.”

  “One of them!” Grandma Diedra reeled.

  ****

  “Now look, stay together! Don’t touch nothing! Don’t break nothing! And don’t set anything on fire!” Yolo briefed once they reached the museum. It was pretty much the same briefing she gave the twins anytime she had to leave them alone for more than a blink of an eye.

  “Okaay,” they sang as if they meant it. They may have, but it didn’t stop them from touching, breaking or setting fires.

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, backing away slowly.

  “Okaay,” the kids sang once more.

  They smiled and waved until she was out of eyesight then took off in different directions. Him in search of something to touch while she looked for something flammable. Meanwhile, their mother set off to murder someone.

  Chapter 11

  “Daddy?” Sincerity said, hearing Karate Joe’s personal ringtone. It was unusual for him to call more than their weekly video chats. “I hope everything is okay. Sup, Daddy?”

  “Hello, Sincerity. I’m Karate Joe,” a voice other than his narrated off screen. On screen, was her father’s pale face. The eyes were open but lifeless and dull. She frowned in fear and confusion at what was happening but soon got her answer.

  “Guess who killed me?” Yolo said, holding her mouth still like a ventriloquist as she held the severed head to the camera. She tossed it aside and turned the phone towards herself. “I did! Now, what you gonna do about it?”

  “Nooo!” Sincerity screamed at the realization of her dad’s murder. She quickly regained her composure so her nemesis wouldn’t have the satisfaction of her tears. “A-yo, stay right there, bitch. I’m on my way!”

  “Oooh, I’m so scared!” Yolo teased. “No can do, but I’ll meet you right here tomorrow. Hope you know the ledge.”

  “Bitch, I’m…,” she growled into the empty line. She jumped up to collect her kids for the trip and remembered they went with their father. She dialed his number but hung up before it could ring. She blamed him for her father’s death. He should have killed her the first time. “Want something done, you gotta do it yourself!”

  ****

  “Oooh! Cowboys and Indians!” Sun cheered when he found the Native American display. He decided the Indians were here first, so he got on their side. He took a bow and arrow from one of the figures and began firing at the cowboys. Speaking of fire…

  Yolo had been gone for an hour but that was fifty minutes too long. A fire truck was pulling away and she could only shake her head. Sure enough, she walked in and saw a security guard with a twin in each hand.

  “What did they do?” she sighed and reached for her wallet to pay for whatever damages they caused.

  “He shot arrows and she, well, you smell the smoke?” he said. The kids remained tight lipped until he released their collars. “Then they wouldn’t give their names, your number, nothing. Not one word.”

  “Good!” Yolo quipped since that’s how they had been raised. “Now, what do I owe you?”

  “Insurance will cover it but…don’t bring them back ever again!”

  “Can’t take y’all anywhere!” Yolo fussed as she drove back out to Long Island. “I have a very important meeting tomorrow.”

  “I tried to tell him, Mommy!” Shyne said, shaking her head.

  “Tell him how? With smoke signals?”

  ****

  Yolo felt an odd sense of dread all evening. She tried not to infect her children with it by cooking tacos and playing board games. Sincerity was no punk and killing her wouldn’t be a walk in the park. She wanted to launch a grenade at her and end it but on the strength of Karate Joe, she owed her a fair one.

  The night ended on pallets in the den as they all feel asleep watching movies. They awoke and made waffles together as a family, for the last time. Shortly after noon, they got in the car and went to the city.

  “Can we visit Karate Joe?” Sun asked when they reached the Bronx.

  “Nah,” Yolo said, twisting her lips ruefully. It was as close to remorse as she’d ever felt in her life. The classic too little too late. It was a necessary evil to draw Sincerity out so she could kill her. “We’re going to the zoo.”

  “Yay!” the twins cheered.

  A short drive later, they arrived.

  “Now look! I really, really need you guys to behave yourselves. Mommy has some very important business to handle and I need you to behave. One hour, can you do that?”

  “Yes, Mommy,” they said, nodding their cute faces up and down. They knew they were mischievous but figured they could last for an hour.

  “Keep an eye on your sister, she burns things,” Yolo whispered as she hugged Sun.

  “Keep an eye on your brother, he breaks stuff,” she said into her daughter’s ear. “I love you guys!”

  “Love you, too, Mommy!” they sang and waved as she backed away.

  “I’m going in!” Sun declared, pointing at the monkeys swinging from the trees. “Hold the phone.”

  “Un uh, cuz I’m supposed to watch you!” Sun said, stomping her foot.

  “Watch me then!” he laughed and climbed into the enclosure.

  Meanwhile, Mommy sped towards the projects.

  ****

  Historically, historians have called the Thriller in Manilla the best fight ever held on planet Earth, but that’s only because they’d never heard of the Rooftop Romp in the Bronx. Sincerity was a highly trained and deadly dangerous while Yolo was just plain crazy.

  Seeing her father in two pieces at the morgue had Sincerity seeing red. Her face was so contorted from anger that some didn’t recognize her as she marched in the projects. She believed in an eye for an eye and had brought a machete to cut Yolo’s head off. She had a gun as well, just in case it turned into a gunfight. Sincerity was down for whatever.

  Yolo arrived in the projects shortly after Sincerity. She walked through the courtyard with a machete in one hand and a forty caliber pistol in the other. Everyone hated her for killing their beloved Karate Joe but no one said anything to her. Mainly because she had a machete in one hand and a forty caliber in the other. The eerie silence stopped her in her tracks to investigate.

  “Don’t stop now, bitch!” Sincerity yelled down from the roof. “Bring yo’ ass on up here!”

  “I’ll be right up!” Yolo replied and rushed inside. She took the elevator to the top floor and got out with her gun raised. A second later, she was on the roof.

  Sincerity fired at Yolo’s face the second she emerged through the door. The gun fight lasted two seconds as they both emptied their clips at each other. Next came the machetes as they tried to chop each other’s heads off. The clanging of the blades could be heard all the way on the ground.

  “Let’s put these down and fight!” Sincerity dared, “Unless you scared!”

  “I ain’t never scared!” Yolo assured her.

  They put down the blades and put up their dukes and fought to the death. Both of theirs.

  ****

  The monkeys all turned to the alpha male monkey when the human landed in their enclosure. He lifted his monkey paws and shrugged his monkey shoulders as if to say, ‘Don’t ask me.’ He then walked over to confront the intruder and got even more confused.

  “Hold this,” Sun said, and tossed him his cell phone. The phone was far more interesting than the boy, so he left him alone.

  “Oh shit! Is he…on the monkey’s bars?” a security guard said, blinking at the images on his screen. “Security to Primate! Primate, pick up!”

  “This is…Primate,” the Primate Control Officer replied between sips on his blunt. The monkeys were hilarious when he was high so he made sure to stay high every day.

  “Would you mind securing
the monkeys and getting that boy out of their enclosure?” he asked casually.

  “Boy? In the cage? Yeah, right! They will tear him apart and eat him,” he replied as he stood to check the window. “Oh shit! There’s really a boy in the cage!”

  “Uh…yeah. Now would you mind moving them away so we can get him out?”

  Sun had quite an audience as he navigated the monkey bars. A crowd had gathered to watch in morbid curiosity as he flipped in the air. Even the monkeys watched in awe at the strange sight. All except the one with phone, he was on YouTube. Camera phones rolled as the Primate Control Officer entered the enclosure with a tranquilizer gun. The monkeys all put their hands up in surrender and backed away. They didn’t want to get shot.

  “Come on, son!” a security guard urged once the coast was clear enough to enter.

  Sun did a double back flip with a twist for a dismount and stuck the landing.

  “Come on, Sun! Let’s bounce!” Shyne shouted when her brother stepped out of the cage.

  “Not so fast!” the security guard demanded, snatching both of them up. Little did he know, he had fire in one hand and lightening in the other. Lucky for him, the twins knew they were already in enough trouble. They had no idea just how much trouble. “Where is your mother?”

  Both kids shrugged. Neither knew she had just fallen to her death.

  Chapter 12

  “What now?” Killa sighed when his satellite phone began to ring. He was with his grandmother, so she wasn’t calling. That left only his two baby mamas and a couple of solid friends. Either way, it couldn’t be good news. He contemplated not answering but it really wasn’t an option.

  “A-yo, son?” Little Villain began in a tone that confirmed his feeling of dread. He literally felt his own life force shudder inside of him.

  “What’s up, yo?” he asked and braced himself for the bad news.

  “Sin is dead. She got shot and fell off the roof,” he explained but it made absolutely no sense. He’d left Sincerity in Georgia and no one in those projects would dare harm anyone close to him.