by Pamela Ann
Heard you were in Madrid. Everything all right? Sienna and I are back in London. Call me if you need anything, even if it needs me to fly out there. I mean it, Watson.
Sienna says hello. She also had to make sure I typed that in. Oh the joys of married life.
Call me when you can.
The joys of married life, my arse. The bloody fool couldn’t function without Sienna in his life. He loved her beyond obsession. Beyond reason. Beyond life. And I couldn’t be any happier that he had finally found someone that made him sink to his knees, worshipping the woman who loved him the same way he loved her. Their love was a ball of tragedy, beauty and intensity.
Like what I had with Lucy…
Thinking about her brought a heavy tightening in my chest before I slowly coached myself to breathe without feeling the sharp burn in my nostrils. Clearing my throat and my lingering thoughts of the lost love I had, I slipped the phone back into the pocket of my dark jeans before focusing on the two people before me.
Amelia was nodding, submerged in what the doctor was telling her. He was wearing a heavy frown, lips thinned as he nodded, looking down at her with worry in his eyes.
With her awful habit of skipping meals and the pre-natal vitamins, I was almost sure she was doing a lot of things that she wasn’t supposed to be doing. No wonder the doctor didn’t seem too pleased with her answers.
It wasn’t long before the doctor addressed me and said we would start the check-up, and he’d try to explain as much as he could. He also informed me that, if I ever had any question, I could go right ahead and ask.
Amelia’s feet were on the stir-ups before the doctor lifted her gown and stopped right above the swell of her stomach. Using two fingers, he was pressing about the womb, asking her questions about pain and if she’d had any instances where there was cramping at all. She answered him with a small shake of her head.
He was about to do a vaginal check up on her, so he gently explained that she was entering her third trimester and needed to eat a little more. After the examination, he proceeded towards her belly, producing a tube of clear gel, expelling a good amount on the tip of her stomach.
With baited breath, I became anxious at the mere idea of seeing the baby on the screen. True, there was a high chance that it wasn’t mine, but there was that puny bit of a chance that it could be.
The screen was blank as he pressed the device into the skin of her stomach. The first thing I heard was the heavy whooshing sound of a loud heartbeat. It surrounded the room. A few seconds later, the baby appeared on the screen, looking like a tiny, sprouting bean, curled up and all.
“Come meet your pequeña.” The doctor was addressing me, but I was too busy being mesmerized at the tiny form on the screen.
After a minute or two, I dropped my gaze towards her stomach before reverting back to the screen. Oh my, I thought to myself, swallowing the dryness in my throat. Emotions ran havoc in my mind and body. I barely recognized what they all were because I was truly out of my depth here.
Lucy… no wonder she loathed me and had moved on without hesitation.
Not before long, we were done with the exam and the doctor advised Amelia and myself that she needed to eat more and add light exercise in her regimen, so when the time came that she went in labor, she wouldn’t have much difficulty.
Exiting the private clinic, we quietly strode towards the car where the driver held the door open.
For a while, I kept glancing at her, hoping her facial expression and demeanor would change. From the hotel to the clinic, she was simply monotonous, robotic, as if everything bored her senseless. Maybe last night had drained her. After all, she had cried buckets. I was sure that had taken a toll emotionally. The least I could do was at least try to be understanding.
“Feel like going baby shopping?” I kindly asked, hoping she’d say yes.
She shook her head, merely giving me a brief glance before turning her head back towards the window. “I’m tired,” she whispered. “Maybe next time.”
I sighed. “Okay, definitely the next time I come back then.” Stifling my disappointment, I asked her again, “Do you want to just drop me off so you can go home and rest?” I didn’t want to be such an inconvenience. I had little to no experience when it came to pregnant women, and from what I knew, they were one not to be messed with, most especially when they were exhausted.
“Can I stay with you?” she asked before turning around to face me with an unreadable, dark depth. “Until you leave tomorrow, if you don’t mind?”
Weighing it over, I supposed she could. After all, didn’t I need to make sure she ate? Besides, I needed to make a call to the chef and ask him a favor.
“It’s fine. We need to discuss and straighten out details anyhow.”
“We do, don’t we…?” she trailed off, back to her expressionless state.
Noting the extreme duality of her personality, I was truly considering that something might be going on with her, beyond pregnancy and all.
My flight back was tomorrow around noontime. Would that be enough time for her to open up to me?
Chapter 15
Toby
For the past five hours since we got back, I had been working on my laptop, emailing and making appointments for potential clients. The second I got back to England, I would have to look for office space, hire an assistant, and start from there. Obviously, that was the easiest part. The essential, rigorous part of doing business was done behind closed doors, negotiating deals, doing vast research, studying market trends and emerging markets. It was basically readying to deal big, volatile risky investments, banking on the fact that my choices and strategies would pay off—and most did. This was my comfort zone. One of my abilities that I excelled in—taking calculated risks, analyzing data and trends in a shifting global market.
Stifling a yawn, I stretched my arms before folding my hands behind my head, closing my eyes as I took deep breaths. This had been my mechanism for ages when I was under stress and pressure. Then again, my life was always the same, barely without pressure and obligations.
Getting up from the worktable, I decided to order in for dinner since Amelia was still fast asleep in the spare bedroom, barely squeaking a sound. I strolled over to her bedroom and opened the door as quietly as I could. She remained in the same position she had been when I’d checked on her two hours ago. Containing a sigh, I decided against waking her up and silently shut her door when the sound of the buzzer chiming made me immediately tense.
Obviously, it couldn’t be room service since all I had done was think about ordering less than a few minutes ago. The only person I could think of was Amelia’s mother, Costanza. Walking towards the main entry hall, I was on the defense when I opened the door with no trace of surprise when I found out who it was.
“Mother, now’s not the time to pester me. You can come back some other time.” I was about to shut the door when she fumed and pushed it against me before she came barging in inside like she ought to be, confidently striding in her typical regal-like stance.
My nostrils flared as I slam the door shut, following where the person who bore me waited with impatience. The woman who most people would say I looked like, but that was where our compatibility ended.
Consciously brushing the strand that fell off her coifed hair, she darted me a drastic glare, huffing like a lioness ready to pounce on her cub for misbehavior. “You will fix everything. Costanza is going to be here shortly and I expect you to graciously apologize for your rude behavior. You will do this, son, or I’m going to raise hell.”
“Raise all the hell you like; I will not oblige any of your demands. I am done dealing with your nonsense,” I uttered in a sharp, crystal clear voice. “You still haven’t gotten that into your stubborn head? I. Said. I. Am. Done.”
“Why are you yelling?” a voice behind me asked.
I spun around and found Amelia frowning before her eyes travelled to find my mother. “Evelyn? What brings you here in Spain?” Sc
anning her face, I looked for a sign that she’d had anything to do with my mother’s unsurprising visit. I didn’t find any. She was stunned, just as I was.
My mother started to move, brushing past me to get to Amelia, giving her a hug and pompous, cheek-to-cheek air kisses. “What do you think? Saving both our families from humiliation and embarrassment. I’d rather not be the subject of the gossipmongers for the summer.”
Her voice irked me to no end. Of course, she’d think about herself more than anyone. Gossip during summertime would reduce the invites for garden parties and galas. It would be a total tragedy for her, I knew.
“There’s nothing to save. Everything is filed; my lawyers are only waiting for her signature. The rest is done.”
My mother’s cold eyes matched mine, measuring how she could try to beat me, however there was nothing left to fight. I was through with it all. Nothing more. I had to hand it to her, though, she didn’t back down on our eye-standoff; Amelia broke our concentration by speaking.
“I’m signing.” She cleared her throat before speaking again, “Before you leave, I’ll sign the papers.”
My mother’s expression was… priceless. “No, child, you will do no such thing!” she gasped with horror.
As much as I would like to lavish on this little triumph, before my mother no less, I was more focused on Amelia, hoping that she was serious about this. This meant everything to me. “Are you sure? I mean, if you need extra spousal support, that won’t be a problem.”
She shook her head, wrapping one arm around her stomach and the other holding the lapels of the robe. “I have more than enough.”
Right after that statement, my mother went beyond ballistic. She stressed the situation and how the humiliation would ruin everyone. She even called Amelia’s mother to hurry up so she could help convince us about the divorce. However, after a quick word from her daughter had her turning around to go back home, leaving my very own mother in utter mayhem.
It took my mother a good fifteen minutes worth of screeching colorful names and lecturing about social commitments and wealth before she finally left us in peace and silence, quaking the room with the harsh slam of the door in her wake.
Arms against my chest, I pressed my lips together, speechless. That was the person who had given birth to me. This was beyond hysterical. “That was rude of my mother. I apologize,” I uttered in pure disbelief as I stared at the door, praying that she’d surely decided to leave the hotel instead of some dramatic exit before she came back with the finale.
“She needs to let you go, too…”
The old Amelia would’ve sided with her, screaming profanities and uncaring about anyone else but themselves. Yet, this new version of her remained pragmatic, siding with me for the very first time.
She kept silent for a bit, casually walking towards the back of the sofa, fingers caressing the texture before she thought out loud, “She doesn’t love you. I think she loves the idea of you and what she aspires you to be. I think it’s because she hasn’t accomplished much in life. She gave birth at such a young age and never really found herself… It made her this way. She wants to live through you, becoming something bigger, someone much more important that people could look up to,” she whispered as if the idea had just dawned on her as well. “When she talks about you, it’s as if you’re the only hope she has. I felt bad about that… but my selfishness paved a much bigger opportunity for me, so I took advantage of the situation.”
My entire mind and body tensed as I listened to her speak. Her revelation out of nowhere had staggered me. She had never uttered a damn, bloody thing about basically anything about my life, my family or much of anything unless it involved her or Lucy.
“Blake Knightly…”
Fuck. What did the bastard do now? I noticed that her throat bobbed, as if having a tough time remembering what had happened.
“I’ve been in love with him… even before he realized I existed,” she started to say with a soft sob. “The first time I saw him, he was in Rome visiting his aunt and uncle. My parents and I were invited to this lavish gathering they had, but we never got the opportunity to be introduced—he was busy with this group of people, mostly women—” she wiped a single tear that fell before smiling sadly.
“Even from afar, I knew he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. That whole night, I kept glancing at him, hoping he’d notice me, but he was too busy. I went home with a sad heart, but I knew it probably wasn’t the right time anyway. I believe in soul mates, and my heart chose him.
“A year after that happened, I found him again in Marbella, socializing amongst my friends and family because he was planning on opening a casino and needed everyone’s support and approval. But of course, for me, it was entirely different. I really thought he and I had a chance. Everything was perfect—beautiful—just like I imagined it would be. But it wasn’t a fairytale because Sienna came in the picture and ruined everything for me.”
Delusion at its best, I sadly thought before stating my opinion. “Sienna has always been in the picture, but she was in a relationship with Kyle, and Blake, being the man that he is, respected that and chose to be friends with her instead. It was only a matter of time until he did something. Before things progressed between them, he was already in love with her. I’m almost hundred percent positive he was even in love with her when he was with you.”
“My life’s a tragedy, Toby…” she started to break as tears streamed down her face, “and I don’t think it can ever be fixed.”
“It’s never too late to fix anything. You’re still young, and with the baby on the way, you can start afresh—a new life in every sense of the word.” As I moved towards her, she held out her hand, stopping me from trying to comfort her.
“I started seeing this married guy, thinking stupid things that would make him come back to me. I’m sorry for using you, too. I wanted him to hurt because he loves you, but nothing worked. Nothing…” She shook her head, gazing up to me with tears and quivering lips.
“I paid someone to produce a fake testing for the baby. I hate not knowing who the father is, but I couldn’t blame anyone except me. I made such a fool of myself.” She tapped her palm against her chest. “Look at me now. It’s tragic, isn’t it?” A heartbreaking smile came to her lips. “I only ever fell in love…”
Haunted would be the precise word I would have used to describe her at that moment. One revelation after the other; how had she kept this up for so long? Sure, I had believed she was pining for Knightly and wanted a taste of revenge, however I’d had no notion how deeply rooted her feelings were to him until now. What did one tell the other when both persons involved were utterly and tragically hopeless?
“Amelia—”
“I’m exhausted, Toby.”
As was I. More than I would admit. “I know you are. I do know that.” I motioned my head towards the dining area, hoping that I could entice her to eat something because she hadn’t had anything since the fruits and cream this morning. “Let me order dinner and we can discuss how to build your new life. Hell, we can even consider the thought of relocating you to a different country if it would make you feel better.”
“The last supper.”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“Before a brand new life.”
At least she was riding on the idea. That was a splendid thing.
“Anything in particular you fancy getting a taste of?”
“Get me everything on the menu. I want a tiny piece of everything. I want to savor every morsel,” she enthusiastically supplied as she strode towards the hall. “I’m going for a shower. I’ll be right back.”
“Sure. I’ll do the same.”
Twenty or so minutes later, freshly showered and shaven, the six-cart entourage to our gluttony arrived with flowers and a butler equipped to serve when ready.
A vast selection of tapas, cheeses, three dishes of paella—seafood, chicken and pork—Castilian-style beef rack, chorizo filled with spices, de
sserts, and other dishes I had not had the pleasure of being acquainted with, filled the entire opulent rectangular dining table. All forty-two inches of it.
I was all for casually eating, but Amelia absolutely devoured her food like she had been starved, like a famished bear that had woken up from months of hibernation. Brushing off her behavior as if I wasn’t in complete amazement, I diverted my attention to discussing where and what she fancied to do after the baby was born.
She was forthcoming with her thoughts, even mentioning that she played with the idea of opening a business or working again because she had enjoyed working before Blake Knightly had come into the picture. With the baby due in a few months’ time, I advised that she rest and experience motherhood first. Then, when she was ready to challenge herself with work and being a mother, she could go right on ahead.
It was strange, yet we discussed about the baby not being mine in a normal manner. Strange at best, but definitely reassuring that her attitude shift could be permanent. I even went out of my comfort zone and offered to be there for her in any case if the father turned out to be the unnamed, married man she had been involved with. It was a massive promise to make, but somehow seeing that tiny peanut on the screen earlier today had touched a place in my heart.
Right after dinner, she informed me that she had decided to go home and rest. So here I was, waiting out in the living room as she changed into her clothes, hoping that this amiable communication would never alter.
Amelia came out ten minutes later, dressed in a loose, soft cotton dress that her maid, Delia, had brought. Apparently, she’d made the call after showering and before she’d come out to eat dinner with me.
“Thank you—for being here.” She seemed shy all of a sudden, quite unusual again coming from her.
“This trip was… momentous.” Historic. Beaming like tomorrow was going to be better and brighter, I took her in my arms and held her tight. “One day at a time,” I murmured into her ear. “Just breathe and never let the past dictate your path.”
