“It cools the flames of agony. Makes it easier to breathe, to think.” The somber note in his quiet voice tugged at something inside me. Immediately, a brief series of blue sparks illuminated the slits of his helmet.
“Your positive emotions bring relief and give us energy to go on.” He drew in some air and rolled his shoulders back. “Even if temporarily. There is no other way for a demon to thrive but to feed off humans.”
“What will happen to all of you now that we’re being released?”
Worry and mistrust rose in me again. The way it had shaped out to be—the demons needed my emotions. Letting me go was against their best interests.
“I—I’m not on the Council, Kitty. My knowledge on their plans is limited. I trust there are some other arrangements being made to keep the army fed.”
“An army of demons?”
“That’s what we are. We are all soldiers under the orders of the Councils.”
“Whom do you fight?”
“No one. Not anymore. We have been under the terms of a peace treaty with humans for . . . a while now.”
I open my mouth for more questions. The more I learned, the more I needed to know, it seemed.
“Kitty,” Garrett stopped me. “It’s way past your usual bed time already. And I still need to feed you dinner.”
“What?” I felt a smile tug at my lips at his words. “You sound like my nanny.”
“I have been trained to take care of you. That’s all I know how to do now.”
Chapter 4
I LAY ON THE MATTRESS in my cell. The lights had been dimmed for the night, but I guessed they would be turned back on to daytime brightness soon enough—between the visit from Keller, the walk and the bath, my evening must have stretched out into the early morning.
Sleep evaded me, though. Recent events had been spinning through my head, as I was trying to make sense of everything I’d seen and heard.
Demons or humans. Councils or The Priory. Could I trust whatever promises came from either of them?
My conversation with Garrett had planted seeds of understanding and even something akin to compassion in me. It also showed that their way of thinking differed from ours.
I got up and moved my jacket and boots closer to the mattress, just in case.
In case of what?
No matter what they had told me about freedom, as long as I stayed here, I still remained in their absolute power. I had no control over anything here. The uncertainty fed my anxiety.
Giving up on sleep, I nervously paced around my cell then stopped in front of the door. When he left, I’d asked Garrett to leave it ajar. Otherwise what was the point in keeping it unlocked if I still couldn’t open it?
Would they let me walk out of here, on my own?
Determined to test the promise of freedom, I threw the jacket on and slid my feet into the boots then shoved the heavy door open.
Once out of my cell, I headed into the direction of the stairs to the ground floor and then to the exit Garrett and I had used earlier.
The guard at the door blocked my way.
“I’m free now. I wish to take another walk.” I lifted my chin up.
He stared at me for a moment. “It’s not safe.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll make sure to stay within the fence,” I repeated Garrett’s words from the last time.
“It’s too dark.” The guard shook his head.
“I’ll stay where it’s lit.”
“Too cold.” He wouldn’t give up.
“Really?” I replied, sarcastically, and pointed at my jacket. “I have warm clothes. If it gets too cold, I’ll come back.”
He seemed to ponder my words for a moment, staring at my jacket.
“Walking outside is not allowed at this hour.”
“Who makes these rules?” I snapped. Frustration made it impossible to remain patient and calm.
“Raim.”
Garrett had mentioned this name.
“The Grand Master?”
“Yes.”
“Is it the one with the preference for white robes?”
“Grand Master wears the robe sometimes. Yes. However, I cannot speak to his preferences—”
“I don’t care about that.”
“But you said—”
“Never mind.” I let out a sigh. The fight had fizzled out of me. I’d witnessed the absolute obedience of the guards to the demon in white and realized I had no chance of winning here.
“It’s not safe for you to walk alone outside,” the guard repeated mechanically, bringing the argument back where it started.
“Fine,” I threw over my shoulder on my way to the stairs to the basement. “But I will come back tomorrow. When it’s not too dark or too cold.”
Instead of going back to my cell, though, I decided to explore the basement. I didn’t think I’d be able to fall asleep tonight, anyway. And the knowledge of the layout might become useful if they ended up backing off on their promise to release me and I had to plan an escape after all.
The corridors seemed endless. The same grey concrete walls and bare light bulbs for what felt like hundreds and hundreds of yards, broken only by the occasional metal door with a barred window.
Cautiously, I peeked through each window, relieved and disappointed to see just empty mattresses inside. Relieved, because they didn’t seem to be that many captives sharing my underground prison. Disappointed, because I could really use an honest talk with another human being right now.
After taking a few turns, I contemplated going back before I got lost in this concrete maze when another turn made me almost trip over a pair of long legs stretched across the floor. I leaped back in alarm, noticing the grey combat boots worn by the guards.
“Shh, Kitty. It’s me.” I recognized Garrett’s gloomy cadence in the quiet whisper. “Don’t be scared.”
“What are you doing here?” Pressing both hands to my chest, I tried to calm down my racing heart.
“Waiting for the morning to come,” he replied calmly.
“Here, on the floor?” I asked in a loud whisper. “Don’t you have a bedroom? A bed?”
“I don’t sleep.” He shook his head. “But Simone needs it. And she doesn’t fall asleep if I’m not here.”
“Who is Simone?” My voice rose above a whisper, and he shushed me immediately by bringing his finger to the mesh part of the helmet over his mouth.
“She’s just calmed down. Please, don’t wake her up.”
I nodded and crouched in front of him.
“Who is Simone, Garrett?” I repeated softly.
“She is my previous Source.” He gestured over his shoulder, and I just noticed that he was sitting with his back against another metal door. “Raim only moved me to be your Handler this morning. Simone was my Source for months, but I only learned her name yesterday. Simone. I think it’s the most beautiful name I’ve ever heard.”
I rose to my feet to peek through the bars on the window. A small figure, with a dark mess of thin braids on her head, curled on the mattress with her back to the door. The row of metal buttons on her dress gleamed dimly in the semi-darkness of the cell.
“Does she know what you are?” I lowered myself to the floor next to Garrett. Somehow, the warmth in his voice when he talked about Simone put me more at ease in his company.
“I told her my name as soon as it was allowed, but since I’ve been moved, I can’t see her through the day anymore.”
“How long have you been her . . . um, Handler? That’s what it’s called?”
He nodded.
“Several months. Since an incident here at the base a few months ago, Grand Master has been changing Handlers and Sources often. You had four before me, I believe. But I managed to remain with Simone all this time. And now, she doesn’t want to see me anymore.” He shifted on the floor, bending one leg to place his forearm on his knee. “She requested a Janitor bring her meals.” He sounded . . . crestfallen.
I couldn’t help but a
sk, “You said you can’t feel emotions?”
“We can’t create them. Doesn’t mean we can’t recognize them or experience some of them.”
He remained silent while I pondered his answer for a moment.
“So, if Simone doesn’t want to see you, why are you here?”
“I respect her request and don’t enter her cell. But I know that she is scared, lonely, and sad. She cries. A lot. She only seems to calm down when she knows I’m here. So, I come here. Every night.”
“Why? Why do you care if she sleeps or not?”
“Because I want her to have balance inside, to be calm . . . happy?”
“To make more happy emotions for you to take?”
“Skim not take,” he corrected. Apparently, the terminology was important. “And no, I’m not allowed to feed on her emotions now that I’m no longer her Handler.”
“Why is it important for you to keep Simone happy then?”
“Why?” He propped his forehead on his hand, seemingly genuinely puzzled by my question. “I—I don’t know . . . There is often just muddy fog inside her, but a few weeks after she got here, she started recognizing me. I noticed that my presence brought her a hint of comfort. Once, I even saw her . . . smile.”
The reverence in his voice made me wish I could see his face. Could this demon, who seemed barely a step up from a soulless robot, be capable of this depth of emotion?
“It was . . . magical, Kitty, when she smiled. Like watching sunrays flicker through the leaves deep in the forest. The tiny morsel of happiness I got to skim then was the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.”
“But you wouldn’t be allowed to taste it.”
“I don’t care. I just want to see it shine inside her . . . to light up her face again.”
“Why doesn’t she want to see you? Have you done something to her?”
“No . . . Um, yes. I have. Whatever was required from me to do as her Handler. I can see that she detests this place. I’m afraid she sees me as a part of it.”
We sat in silence for a few moments. Starting to sweat under my jacket, I shifted to unzip it. My movement must have brought Garrett out of his thoughts.
“Do you think there is any hope at all that Simone would ever let me close again?” he asked me unexpectedly.
“Well, since we’re supposedly all free now. Wouldn’t she leave here soon?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Not Simone. She can’t leave. I won’t let it happen.” He leaped to his feet and faced the door then grabbed on to the bars in the window leaning his forehead against them. “I’ll fight the Council . . . The Priory . . .”
“Garrett,” I called softly, getting up from the floor too. “It’s not up to any Councils or Priories here. If we’re truly being released then it’s only up to Simone herself whether or not she wants you anywhere near her. You can’t force her to stay. If you try, you’ll most certainly lose her for good. She needs to want to stay with you. That’s how it works with humans.”
“What can I do to make her want it? What would make you want to stay with someone like me?”
Everything inside me rebelled at once at the mere thought of staying in this place for any reason. However, I realized his interest lay with Simone’s motivations, not mine, and made an effort to come up with an objective answer. “Well, I guess if I really cared about the man . . . the demon, I mean. Yes. I would need to care about him enough for the feeling to outweigh the animosity towards this place . . . and your kind.”
“I have to make Simone care about me for her to stay with me?” The hope in his voice was almost palpable, leaving me no choice but to root for him.
“Really, Garrett, all you can do is show her that you’re someone worth caring for. Treat her with respect. Give her a choice. And if she decides to leave, let her go. You can’t force love, caring or affection. You can only invite them.”
I wasn’t sure if he heard me—his attention remained solely on Simone as he stared at her through the window.
Then I heard him whisper, “Do you think once she is free from here, she’ll learn how to laugh again?”
Chapter 5
I SHOULD’VE ASKED GARRETT for a proper breakfast.
The thought of a coffee and a muffin made my mouth water as I entered my cell. I seriously considered turning around to give him my request, instead of having to face another day with a stomach full of green goo.
A dark figure rose from a crouch by my mattress. Dim light reflected off his uniform.
“Garrett?”
Had he taken some shortcut to get here before me?
“Shh.” The demon brought a gloved finger to the mesh of his helmet.
A pair of arms suddenly circled me from behind. A hand covered my mouth to muffle the scream of panic ready to burst out of me.
Thrashing in the grip of whoever grabbed me from behind, I arched my back and kicked my feet violently. Twisting my body, I managed to knock one arm off me, almost getting away from him.
“The shot. Give her the shot,” a hissing whisper reached me. The uniformed demon rushed to me, and the sting of a needle burned the side of my neck. The hand at my mouth pressed more firmly, silencing my scream of pain.
What’s happening?
Why?
Terror exploded through my brain in bursts, each wave decreasing in its intensity, muffled by the numbing darkness descending over me.
Until all my senses shut down completely, plunging me into oblivion.
THROBBING PAIN POUNDED inside my head. The pressure threatened to explode into full-blown agony as awareness slowly trickled in.
I lay on my side, my arm numb and trapped under me. To free it, I had to turn over but couldn’t. My muscles didn’t cooperate when I tried. The effort only made my stomach churn. Then I heard muted noise.
Voices.
I heard them speak—two people—I believed, but I couldn’t grasp the meaning of what was said. They must have spoken at a normal volume, but the fog in my head muffled them.
As the haze gradually dissipated and I was able to hear them clearly, I realized, I still couldn’t understand them because they spoke some other language than English. German possibly, judging by the harsher sounds.
My fingers twitched. Could I move now? I shifted a little then stilled again, stifling the moan of pain in my throat. Instinctively, I remained quiet so as not to alert them that I was awake. Then I remembered what happened.
They took me. Again.
Something didn’t make sense with my abduction this time, but I couldn’t focus on it yet. Any effort to concentrate sent another burst of sharp pain through my head.
The voices got louder, it sounded like they were arguing.
Carefully, I half-opened one eye.
Still dressed in my jacket and boots over my grey pajamas, I lay in the back seat of a vehicle that wasn’t moving. Save for the faint light from the car’s console, it was dark. The two men talking were the driver and the front seat passenger. The driver opened the door, and I caught the glow of a cell phone screen as he stuck his hand outside.
Searching for reception?
In any case, judging by his frustrated groan when he pulled his hand back inside the car, he didn’t find what he was looking for. The one in the passenger seat said something accusingly, and the driver snapped at him again.
It was pitch black outside. Was it still the same night?
The car moved again, and I was finally able to shift off my numb arm following the jerking momentum of the vehicle. Blood returned to my arm with a prickling ache, and I swallowed another moan, determined not to disclose my returned awareness to my abductors while I assessed the situation.
The car came to a stop, so suddenly, I nearly rolled off the seat to the floor. My head lolled with a sharp stab of headache, and I couldn’t help a soft groan this time.
Thankfully, the men in the front were still arguing loudly. The passenger yelled agitatedly then got out, slamming the door behind him. Th
e driver waited for a few moments then cursed under his breath and got out, too.
Left alone, I made an effort to lift my hand and gave a silent prayer when it obeyed. Then I tried to open the door next to my head.
Locked.
I didn’t bother with the one at my feet. Instead, I heaved myself up over the centre console to peek through the windshield.
In the yellow beam of headlights, I saw the backs of the two men dressed in dark suits walking away from the vehicle. It appeared they moved to the crossroad sign at the intersection ahead.
Did my kidnappers get lost? The notion made me giggle uncontrollably even as my whole body tensed with nerves.
Must be the drugs wearing off.
As fast as I could muster with my limbs barely under my control, I crawled into the front passenger’s seat. This door opened when I turned the handle as quietly as I could, and I slipped outside, crouching beside the car.
My attention fully on the two dark figures illuminated by the headlights, I closed the door carefully, afraid to breathe, and attempted to run in a crouch into the forest on the side of the road.
My legs gave under me, though, and I rolled off into the ditch, my body feeling like an uncoordinated sack of muscles and pain.
I needed to run or at least to crawl further into the forest somehow, but all I could do was just lie there, trying to calm my churning stomach, which was set on emptying itself any moment.
Throwing up would definitely make some noise, I feared. I flipped to my back and stared up into the dark sky, counting my breaths and desperately willing my insides to settle.
The arguing grew louder—they were coming back to the car. Soon they’d see I wasn’t there. They’d search around and find me.
Everything inside me clenched with fear. Afraid to move towards the forest where I might make more noise in the underbrush, I rolled to my stomach and crawled along the ditch, away from the voices.
I stilled as soon as the voices paused, halting my breath while lying low in the dirt and dry grass. As if the whole world came to a stop, even my heartbeat seemed to pause the moment the car doors opened and closed.
The Forgotten (Demons Book 2) Page 3
