by Renard, Loki
“Fires are a lot less likely when you don’t have the use of your hands to set them,” I say, straightening.
“Good work, Slick,” I compliment him as he returns, ready for business.
“Be a good girl,” he says to Blaze. Blaze replies with a string of profanity which is impressive for its inventiveness. I can’t imagine what a cock sucking fuck-knuckle is, but it sounds vaguely like an item which might be used in plumbing.
We leave Blaze safe and secure, cursing on the kitchen floor. Slick makes sure she has a bowl of water before he leaves, insult to injury for his wild little pet.
“You sure she’s not going to get out of there?”
“I’m sure,” he reassures me.
Good. The last thing we need now is Blaze getting out and getting in the middle of this. Things are complicated now. Dangerous. Definitely no place for a feral little hot-head who thinks everything can be solved with disobedience and cursing.
9
Kitty
Regaining consciousness was a bad idea. Reality fucking sucks at the best of times. Right now, the reality is that I’m shackled to a medical bed. There’s a very bright light above me, and a man in a surgical mask looming nearby.
“What…”
“Shhhh….” A voice I don’t recognize attempts to soothe me. It has precisely the opposite effect. It is not a normal sounding voice. It’s not comforting or authoritative or right in any way. I am clearly in some kind of medical facility, but the person above me does not strike me as a doctor. There are a thousand little cues which combine to tell me I am in immediate, mortal danger.
I start to struggle. I don’t get very far. In addition to the shackles which I noticed immediately, I find that there are more restraints on me. One over my forehead. Another over my waist. Yet another over my legs. I can’t move. At all.
I start to scream, but that option is taken off the table immediately when a gag is pushed between my teeth. It’s not cloth, or silk. It’s medical silicone, and it’s just as effective as either of those things would be.
“Shhhhh shh shh shh. I’m sorry you have to be conscious for this,” the man behind the mask rasps. He sounds somehow ill. I can’t see his face. The bright light behind his mask makes his features disappear into shadow.
I try to talk to him. I try to beg him for some kind of mercy, but all I can make are muffled sounds.
“I’m not allowed to kill you,” he says, pity lingering in his voice. “It would be the best thing for you, but there it is.”
His head moves away from the light. I hear soft sounds, little bits of metal moving about. Then something returns. A scalpel gleams, held in his rubber clad hand.
“There’s a lot you can do to a person without killing them,” he says conversationally.
Another gag-muffled sound of terror escapes me.
“Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. You won’t feel a thing,” he says. “Just a quick lobotomy and then…”
My scream through the gag is the loudest it has been so far.
“I know you don’t want it, but you know too much,” he says. “And that’s not your fault, poor girl, but it has to be attended to, so a quick lobotomy and then a little scrambling of the memory and you’ll be good as new. A brand new life as a brand new girl.” He twirls the scalpel slowly. “Don’t worry. I’ve been practicing. I’m quite good at it. I’m keeping you awake to make sure we get the desired effect, no serious damage. Now you just relax and think happy thoughts.”
He is serious. This man is going to do brain surgery to me. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t really matter because there’s nothing to do except count the ways I fucked up to get to this point.
I should have listened to Vicious. I should have done as he told me to do. But no, I thought I could do it better and look at me now. Next time he sees me I’m going to be gibbering.
I would do anything to see him again. I would do anything to tell him I’m sorry, that he was right, that I have been a spoiled, ungrateful little shit, that he owes me nothing and I am grateful for everything.
I scream his name through the gag. I beg and plead incoherently, hot tears running down the sides of my head. None of it makes any difference.
“There are no nerves in the brain,” the man behind the mask informs me casually. “So you won’t feel pain there, but there are some in the skin. I’ll numb you up. You won’t feel anything besides a little prick.”
“Little prick is right, ha!”
A burst of relief flashes through me. That’s Coco’s voice! I bet she’s brought Vicious with her. Thank god this is over almost before it has begun. I’m going to really have to stop getting abducted. I need to pay more attention to my surroundings. After this, I swear to god nobody is ever going to get the jump on me again.
The doctor is not as startled as I would have thought he’d be. He doesn’t scream and run. He doesn’t freeze. His shoulders slump, and he lets out a long suffering sigh.
Coco looms over me, larger than life, my own personal guardian angel. I wait for her to save me.
But the saving doesn’t happen.
“Nobody expects the drag queen, do they?” Coco smirks down at me.
Oh fuck. Oh fuucckkk.
“I bet you’re wondering why you’re here. I bet you have no idea. Do you?”
I shake my head. No. I have no fucking clue. I don’t know Coco well enough to be able to think of any reason she’d have me captured by a surgeon and brain scrambled.
“You’re a spoiled, self-centered little bitch,” she says. “Oh no, Vicious is so mean to me, keeping me safe!” Her voice rises in a mockery of my tone. It’s not even close.
Her tone deepens again. “You don’t deserve to be kept safe. Vicious shouldn’t be wasting his time with little girls like you. You don’t know how to satisfy a man like that. You don’t know the first thing about being a woman.”
Holy shit. Is this what this is about? Is this nothing more than female jealousy? Is this nothing to do with me at all?
“Coco, I need to get started,” the doctor says.
“No, give me a minute. I’ve listened to this little bitch complain all day,” Coco says. “You can wipe her vapid little brain soon. First I want her to know how much she fucked up.”
“Coco, the longer we wait, the more chance there is of something going wrong. This isn’t about rivalry, this is about…”
Coco whips her big, long gun out again, shoves it directly in the doctor’s face. “Back the fuck off. I’ve got something to say, and I’m going to say it. I am sick and tired of these little whores getting into his bed.”
“Coco, this isn’t about…”
“It’s about whatever the fuck I say it’s about,” Coco hisses. “This is about a whole bunch of bullshit. This is about being tens across the board and being treated like a perfect zero. This is about being used like a fucking babysitter for spoiled bitches who think I’m some kind of cross between a fairy godmother and a personal entertainment system. Do I look like a Nintendo Sixty Four to you? Is that what I look like? Am I some Snakes and Ladders bitch?”
Coco is unstable. Dangerous. But right now she’s sort of saving me from the surgeon who would otherwise be sticking something sharp into my skull. I lie here, shackled in place, and I let her vent above me, the storm of her emotions wreaking havoc all around her.
“Oh yeah, you’re quiet now, aren’t you. Weren’t today though.” She drops into that mocking tone again. “Vicious wants me. Vicious cares about me. Vicious is buying me an entirely new wardrobe. Vicious touches me and makes me cum so hard I forget I’m a stupid spoiled whore.”
I didn’t say anything to her about orgasm, not that I remember. Though she did ask me a lot of questions about that side of things. I thought it was girlish curiosity, but apparently, everything I said was like a knife being driven into her heart.
Coco leans over me, her face so close to mine I can see the cut crease she’s painted above
her eyes. It’s flawless. There’s some real talent being wasted here today.
“I’m not your Playstation,” she hisses. “You can’t pre-order me with a bonus. I don’t come with a toy. I’m not your Kinder surprise. I’m not your fucking Happy Meal. I’m not your goddamn free prize inside your Cheerios!”
“Ms Shantay, please,” the doctor begs. “I understand you’re upset at the patient, but we need to complete the procedure.”
“You can proceed in a second. I’m not done here. I got some more things to say.”
She leans on the side of the bed and pokes me with the tip of the gun. “Vicious asked me to keep an eye on you, but I know a bitch when I see one. You play innocent, but you’re not. Shadow told me what you did. We know what you are. He’s better off without you.”
I’m confused. I’m terrified. I’m in the hugely bizarre position of finding an unscheduled brain surgery preferable to whatever Coco would do to me if she got her way.
“Is that all you’ve got to say? Nothing! Suddenly now you’ve got nothing to say?”
“She can’t talk. She’s gagged.”
“Oh. Oh right.” Coco lets out a manic laugh and pulls the gag free.
“You can have him!” I splutter. “I don’t even want him.”
“Well, now my feelings are hurt.”
A deep English voice cuts through the darkness. My relief is so incredible it is damn near transcendental.
“Oh my god! Vicious! Please! Help! They’re going to scramble my brains!”
“Thank you, Coco,” he says, stepping out of the darkness and into the ring of surgical light.
Why the hell is he thanking Coco? Didn’t he hear the crazy shit just coming out of her mouth? He must have checked the place out before walking in. He must be aware that she’s been going off like a crazy bitch for ages now.
The surgeon makes a gibbering sound and tries to flee, but Coco grabs him before he can.
“Oh fuck no, you’re not getting out of here,” she says. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Thank you, Ms Shantay,” Vicious says again.
“No! She’s a baddie too!”
“A… baddie?” Vicious glances down at me. “Did they scramble your brain already, Kitty?”
“I mean she was just saying how much she hated me, and how much she loves you, and how I’m not worthy, and she wants your dick and…”
BOOM!
Coco’s gun goes off, putting a large hole a steel plate wall near the doctor’s head.
“Sorry!” She lets out a high pitched giggle. “I must have squeezed it a little too hard.
What the literal fuck is going on?
Vicious
In the aftermath of the gunshot, I stalk across the room, grab “Doctor” Shadow by his throat and slam him against the wall. Something inside him cracks and breaks. I couldn’t give less of a shit.
“I told you to stay way from her,” I hiss. “I told you what would happen if you came for her again.”
“I wasn’t going to kill her! I was just going to remove the parts of her mind that make her a liability.”
“You don’t put a fucking finger on any of my people without my authority. You sure as shit don’t invade the brain of the woman I love.”
“They’re putting the pressure on,” he says, his voice trembling. “She has to go.”
“Kill him! Fucking kill him!”
Kitty is baying for blood from the makeshift bed where she has been made prisoner. I look over and remember what the point of this is. These people mean nothing to me. They’re disposable pawns. I’d kill any one of them to keep her safe, and they have to know it, but I’m not going to kill in front of her. She doesn’t react well to violence, and she’s had enough trauma for one night.
“Deal with him, Slick,” I say, going to Kitty’s side. Slick emerges from the shadows and takes over. I release Kitty from her bonds and collect her up into my arms. My poor girl is trembling all over. I have never seen her this scared. My heart breaks for her. I didn’t know it could do that. I didn’t know I’d be overwhelmed with this kind of emotion when I came to get her.
I hold her as tightly as she’s holding on to me, and I get her the hell out of there.
10
Kitty
It is good to be back in Vicious’ apartment. I spent so long wishing I could leave, but now I’m pretty sure I never want to leave ever again. These walls are enough for me forever. Or at least, until the aftermath of fear wears off. I don’t know if it will. I feel as though it has gotten into my bones, infested my soul somehow. I don’t feel like the same person I was before waking up on that surgical bed.
Vicious brought me straight home and has had me wrapped up in bed ever since. I’ve lost track of time as he caresses and soothes me, tries to take away the terror with affectionate energy like I have not felt from him before.
He was always protective, but now he is almost… I am afraid to think it, but the word keeps coming back into my mind anyway. Loving.
“You need sleep, Kitty,” he says, his fingers drifting lightly over my cheeks as he cradles my face.
“I don’t want sleep,” I reply. It’s true. I can’t sleep. I am far too wired from all the adrenaline my ordeal unleashed on my system. It has the same effect as doing lines of coke right before bed. I am wide awake, on alert and ready for anything. Right now, I feel like I might never sleep again.
“I thought I lost you,” he says. “I am so sorry, Kitty. I should have had extra security there.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“It is.” He draws in a breath. “I’ve been focusing so much on keeping you safe from the people outside my circle, I didn’t consider that you’d be in just as much danger from some of them inside it. This world, my world, it’s not safe. You should consider leaving.”
“Leaving?”I jerk my head back out of his grip and look at him, thoroughly confused. If Vicious is one thing, it’s completely possessive. For him to suggest that I leave him is so out of character for a second I’m not even sure who he is.
“I wanted you for my own, but the truth is, I am not going to be able to keep you safe. You should go somewhere you won’t be recognized. I can get you a place to stay. I can set you up.”
“You’d really let me go?”
“Kitty, someone almost bored a hole in your head today. I promised to keep you safe. I failed.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“How?”
“With, like, humility.”
He breaks into a handsome smile. “Well, I don’t do this very often, but for you, Kitty, I’ll do anything.”
His words bring tears to my eyes. There’s a sincerity to them which touches me deeply. He truly would do anything, I can feel the truth of the statement and it makes me feel warm all over. This man will stop at nothing for me.
“I’m not leaving.”
I’ve wanted nothing more than my freedom, but now I only want him. Having Vicious offer to let me go only makes me want to stay all the more. It’s fucked up, but it’s true. After tonight, I can’t imagine being without him. I can’t imagine living without him, drawing breath without his presence. I feel so close, so completely attached it seems as though everything would end if he were not there.
He gathers me back up against his strong body. “If you stay, nothing changes. I’ll be the same merciless bastard I’ve always been. I’ll demand a lot from you. If you disobey me, I’ll take leather to you, and more. From here on out, this only gets more intense.”
“I know.”
He looks deep into my eyes. “And I won’t apologize for this again.”
“You won’t apologize again, ever?”
“Not for this. If someone else bores a hole in your head, I’ll apologize for that then.”
I laugh and he kisses me, his passion and care filling me. I love his kiss. I sink into it, and to him, tasting h
im, letting him taste me, becoming one creature at the mouth. When he breaks the kiss, my yearning is ignited, and I can’t deny it anymore.
“I want you.” I gaze into his eyes. “I want you inside me.”
“This isn’t…”
I can see he’s going to do it again. He’s going to try to kill the moment, because that is what he does every time we get close to making love. I won’t let him. Not this time. This thing is more powerful than either one of us and I won’t let him run any more than he lets me run.
“Please… please don’t make me beg.” I cling to him, my hips riding against his in a slow rolling motion. I know how to move my body in a way that makes it impossible for a man to resist. I know how to arch my back and press my hips against his cock, my motions slow, suggestive, and sensual.
“Kitty…” his voice is rough. “You’re going to regret this.”
“I don’t care.”
There’s something about almost being killed that makes me feel so incredibly alive. I want Vicious. I want his cock. I don’t even want a condom on it. I want to feel his flesh inside mine. I want to take him inside me and I want us to become the same thing. It’s more than a desire to fuck. It’s a need to merge. Being separate from him is agony in this moment. His arms around me are not enough. I need to be filled by him. I need his hunger to finally consume me once and for all.
He curses under his breath, and then his mouth is on mine again. The spark which has been crackling between us bursts into raging desire neither of us can contain.
Our clothes are torn from one another’s bodies. I destroy his shirt and he ruins my pants. We bare each other with brutal eagerness until no scrap of fabric stands between us.
He looms over me, tattooed, powerful, his face a dark mask of desire. I am melting between my thighs. I need him so badly I feel as though I won’t be able to breathe if I don’t have him.
“You want this? You really want this?” His voice is rough and deep and there is both promise and threat in it. His hands curl in my hair and he holds my head in his hands, keeping me in place beneath him on the bed. His biceps box me in, muscles not the only parts of him bulging. His thickness is pressed against my hip, his cock long and throbbing, a beast waiting to defile me.
