by Bellus, HJ
“Yeah, but I need your help moving your brother to bed. Birdy made me promise to get him, and he’s passed out and reeks of beer.”
Cole rounds the bed to Jax, who’s sitting on the edge with her knees tucked up to her chest. “I’ll get him, Doc. Go clean up and relax.”
He pushes her knees down and then wedges between her legs, wrapping her up, and smoothing the back of her hair. He feels tears leak onto his skin and pulls back. He can’t remember if he’s ever seen Jax crying. She’s been pissed and teary, but not like this.
“Jax.” He tilts her chin up.
“Cole, if that’s what love does to you, I don’t know if I can handle it.” She swipes away her tears. “I’m a damn doctor and deal with death on a daily basis, but that’s just a whole new level of hurt.”
“I know. I know.” He tucks her back into his chest, running his hands down her dark, silky hair. “You be okay if I go get Dax in bed?”
“Yeah, Cole.”
“Look up at me, Jax.” He doesn’t use his hands to force her, but waits for her to do it on her own. “I’d choose love even if it comes with that hurt. You’re worth it. Although I still think you’re getting the short end of the stick in this relationship.”
She lets out a little giggle and then bursts into full, wracking sobs.
“Jax, what’s wrong?” Cole drops to his knees, trying to make eye contact with her.
“What if you die? I’m not dumb, I’m a doctor, for Christ’s sake.”
“I promise that I’ll never leave you again, Jax. You may not like what I tell you, but I won’t be the one leaving this time.”
“It’s science and God’s will, it’s not your choice, Cole.” Jax flips her head and begins throwing her arms. “Why did you get sick? Why? You left me fucking heartbroken, and then this happens.”
“Jax.” He stands up, backing away. “What do you know?”
“I looked at your reports. That hospital is connected with the one in L.A. Why?” Her screams are loud as she stands and begins beating his chest, repeating ‘why’ over and over.
Cole grabs her flying arm, pulling her into him and cradling her. “Shhhh, Jax. It will all be okay. We can’t do this. You can’t freak out. You’re the rock of this operation. Remember how strong you were for Chloe when everything went down?”
“I wasn’t in love with her. She was a patient,” she mumbles into Cole’s chest.
“Wait.” He pulls her tear soaked face from his chest and sends her his signature smirk. “So, you’re saying you love me, Doc.”
He waggles his eyebrows at Jax, causing her to let out a giggle.
“Day by day, Jax. That’s all we can do. We’ll get through this day by day. Some will be ugly, others masterpieces, but it will be us. Come help me move Dax.” He kisses her lightly on the lips, licking her salty tears from his own when he pulls back. He wanted her to shower and rest up for some nightly action, but after that little bombshell, Cole refuses to leave her side.
Jax was right, the giant known as Dax is passed out on the couch with half of his torso hanging off. Cole’s moved the sleeping fucker a time or two in his lifetime.
“You get one end and I’ll get the other, and then we’ll sock him in the nuts and run.”
Jax slams her hands onto her hips. “Quit trying to be funny. It won’t help.”
“Oh, so being all sad and morose will?” Cole changes the pitch and speed of his words. “Fine, let’s move this asshole, who probably is going to have the beer shits in the morning.”
“Cole,” Jax threatens as a slight smile appears.
“Jax,” he mimics with his hands on his hips.
“Stop.”
“Listen, from this day out we are going to enjoy life. You better get used to these jokes, Doc.”
Jax crosses her arms and whispers, “I like that.”
“What?”
“The sound of you calling me Doc.”
“You’ll be thinking that when I’m pulling your hair and screaming it later.”
“God.” She chucks a throw pillow at his head. “Not even a brain tumor can take the Sterling out of a Sterling.”
“That a girl.” Cole beams at Jax. “Now, help lift this fucker up.”
She walks over to Dax and gut punches him with as much force as her petite body can muster up.
“Jax.”
“Call it payback from when he did it to you during your nightmare.”
“Feisty, I like it.”
Dax rolls over and tries to settle back in, and Jax lands another punch.
“Fuck,” he growls.
“Get up, bro. Birdy needs you.”
Dax fights to rise into a sitting position, but stumbles with each move.
“Here, bro.” Cole holds his hand and begins guiding Dax to his room. The room is dark, and Birdy is snoring softly.
“Jax?” Dax asks.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“Is she okay?”
Jax walks up to the bedside, and Cole holds her from behind.
“She’s doing fine. All typical symptoms and emotions, but she’s a fighter, Dax, and loves you so much. She’s afraid you’ll leave her. Just talk to her and be open.”
“Thank you.”
The couple watches as Dax rolls over and drifts off to sleep. Cole finally grabs Jax by the hand, interlocks their fingers, and gently tugs her out of the room.
“See, that’s like leaving a patient’s room, but what I’m about to do with you is a whole new thing. You’re not my patient, Cole.”
He stops and turns toward her. “Then don’t look at my results ever again.”
She nods.
“Promise?” he asks.
“Promise.” It comes out as a whisper, but Cole takes it.
He leads her into the bathroom and begins stripping each piece of her clothes, letting them drop to the floor as he does.
“I’ve missed your touch, Cole.”
He lets his fingers linger all the way up the length of her leg before leaving her side to start the shower. The water comes out hot and ready for them.
“Let me wash you, Doc.” Cole lifts her into the shower and under the welcoming hot water. He grabs the bar of soap and lathers her up, not missing an inch of her skin. Cole relishes each touch as if it’s a reunion he thought would never come. Jax keeps her arms wrapped around his neck, letting him caress her.
Before he lathers everything, he stops and pays attention to her peaked nipples with his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the hard bud before he gently bites down on it. A moan escapes Jax as she bucks her hips up into his pelvis. Cole can’t handle it any longer as he spins her around and grabs her by the hips, pinning Jax’s back against his chest, and enters her. She screams out, and he doesn’t even try to hush her voice. It’s music to his ears, and in this moment, with demons and scars, he vows to love Jax for the rest of his life—and more importantly, to let her love him.
He feels her tighten around him, and it forces him to drive harder into her. His hand is wrapped in her hair, tugging back as he thrusts. In moments, they tumble over the edge together and Jax’s body instantly goes limp, but Cole catches her while turning off the water in one swift movement. He carries her to the countertop and begins drying her off, enjoying caressing every single part of her body as if it were their first time.
Once every inch of her body is dry, he kneels and spreads her legs…
“Cole, what are you doing?” Every muscle in Jax’s body tenses up.
“Cleaning up my favorite part.”
A lustful look covers Jax’s features as Cole continues his descent to her core. He teases her one lick at a time as he trails a path up her inner thigh. He smiles when her hips buck up, and he almost loses his train of thought, but then her scent hits him, and something unleashes. He dips his tongue deep inside of her and begins to swirl, lapping up her taste with each flick. He feels and hears her moans of pleasure, and it only fuels him to work harder. His tongue doesn’t relent
until Jax achieves her desire.
She locks her hips up giving him the perfect amount of space to set her on fire. Jax’s screams echo throughout the bathroom. Her body goes limp again, and Cole grabs her and cradles her against his chest.
“Doc, I promise to give you my all forever. It’s not going to be pretty or easy, but I want that love with you.”
“Cole Sterling, you smartass, I promise to love you for the rest of my days, and however cocky and assholish you get…I’ll always forgive you before I go to sleep each night. I love and want you. Will you let me love you? Because you know I deserve it.”
“Jax, quit begging already. You can love me, and I’ll just deal with it.”
“Cole.” She slaps at his chest tattoo.
“Just fulfilling my part of the vows.”
“Did we just get married?” She tilts her head with a beaming smile shining back at him.
“I do, Doc.”
“I do, Cole Sterling, AKA Pain In My Ass.”
“Then let’s live happily ever after.” Cole sweeps Jax from the counter, carrying her to the room.
“Put me down now.”
“Doc, I’m carrying you across the threshold.”
Jax slaps his chest. “Exactly, I’m a doctor and have fought damn hard to get where I am today. I’ll walk through my own threshold.”
Cole sets her down. “By all means, firecracker.”
He watches as she takes three steps into the bedroom and then furrows his eyebrows as she freezes.
“Now, carry me to bed, and those are orders.”
Chapter 10
“Are you ready for our first married fight?” Jax props herself up on her elbow. Her right nipple is exposed, and Cole dives for it, trying to wrap his lips around it.
“No.”
“We’ve had sex three times now. It’s time to talk.”
“Fine. Talk, and I’ll suck on this nipple.”
“Stop.” Jax rolls on top of Cole, distancing her breast from him. “We need to talk now.”
“Go.” He thrusts his hips up toward her.
“Stop.” She whaps at his chest again. “I have a boyfriend.”
“Come again?”
“That guy you saw me with is my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for a month.”
“Okay, dump him.”
“Cole, it’s not that easy.”
“Yes, it is. You’re my wife, and you’ll dump him.”
“Let me get through this wedding. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone.”
“Fine.” Cole flops back down on the bed.
“Your turn.”
“What?” He throws an arm over his forehead.
“Talk. Tell me everything.”
“No.”
“Now.” She squeezes his nipples between her fingers.
Cole flips her over on her back and glares down at her.
“Talk to me, Sterling.”
“I didn’t touch another woman for months after you.” Cole picks up on Jax’s questioning look. “Or male. About a month and half ago, I did touch another female, and I’ve fucked her until a few days ago. She brought man after man home for me. And Oxy and whatever other drug I needed to dull the pain.”
“What pain?”
“You.”
“So, not headaches or tremors.”
“Stop, you’re playing the doctor card right now, and as my wife, you don’t get that right!” Cole taps Jax’s nose with each word. “The pain of walking away from you.”
“So, you…”
Cole dips down until he can feel her breathe. “I fucked Kami for a month and a half, and she brought different men home every single night, and pills or whatever I needed. She dressed the part and fucked other crucial businessmen to benefit Made To Sin.”
“Okay.” Jax shrugs.
“No, I fucked her night after night, and she was the only substitute until you. Don’t you get it? I can add something to the mixture and be okay.”
“I get it, Cole, you’re a dick and I’m here for you. Don’t you get it?”
Cole shakes his head, recapping the night. “We’re husband and wife, but you have a boyfriend and I have several fuck buddies, but we are both willing to make it work?”
“Yep.” Jax smiles up at Cole as he feels his cock harden at her sweet words.
Chapter 11
The cabin hears no noise for several hours. A roll here and there, but devoid of human voice. The logs of the walls yearn for approval, but at the same time grieve with the broken hearts and hopes only time will heal.
“What are you doing?” Cole rolls over in the tangled sheets, trying to find where Jax’s soft voice is coming from. He finally spots her kneeled down on the carpet with her head bowed.
She tilts her head sideways to look at him. “I was praying.”
“I didn’t know you’re religious.”
“I’m not.”
“But you’re praying.”
“I don’t know what I believe in, Cole, but I do know there has to be something bigger than us to be on our side for the battle we are about to walk through.”
***
Cole drags his feet loading up the last little bit from the cabin. It was a short stay, but exactly what he needed. This is a place he could truly live in forever on repeat.
“Ready?” Jax slaps his ass and then scoots past him, hopping up in the SUV.
“So, you two back together?” Birdy asks as Dax helps her into the front passenger seat.
Cole and Jax turn to each other with grins plastered on their faces.
“We got married last night.”
“You what?” Dax roars.
“I married Jax last night.”
“I’m not following you, Cole.” Dax turns in his seat and stares down his brother.
“We had a small and very private ceremony.” Cole pauses because of Jax’s giggles. “In the bathroom of the cabin.”
“So, you got married in the bathroom of the cabin?” Birdy asks, looking puzzled.
“Yep.” Jax leans forward in her seat. “I have to break up with my boyfriend after this weekend, and Casanova over here has to send Kami packing.”
“Jesus Christ, and I thought we were fucked up, Birdy.” Dax revs the engine to life and begins driving back to Denver.
Birdy focuses on the road, facing straight forward. “Thank you for taking care of me last night, Jax.”
“Anytime, sweetie.” Jax scoots to the edge of her seat and lays her chin on Birdy’s shoulder. “After all, we are going to be sisters-in-law now.
Birdy reaches back and rests her hand on Jax’s head. “Actually, I just want a sister. Is that okay?”
“Yep, sister.”
“Dax, stop at the first gas station you see,” Cole hollers while intently trying to set up his new iPhone. It’s strangely relaxing not having it on him, but business is always on his mind.
“Christ, you already have to piss?”
“Yep.”
“Jax.”
“Yeah, Birdy.”
Cole halfway listens to the women’s conversation as he continues setting up his phone and holding it up in the air like a dickweed searching for more service.
“Will they bury my baby, or what happens to it?”
“Oh, sweetie.” Jax snuggles in deeper on Birdy’s shoulder. “There’s different options, and each hospital is a bit different. But you and Dax need to take time to process it all and mourn.”
“Will you find out for me, please?”
“I sure will, Birdy.” Jax kisses the side of Birdy’s head and sinks back in her seat.
Cole’s barely able to look at her after hearing that conversation. It’s the most heartbreaking thing he’s ever heard, but he knows his mentally tough Jax can fight through anything and be there for Birdy. It’s one of the many things he loves about her, because in situations like these , he knows exactly what he’d turn to. But now he has an anchor in his life to keep him grounded.
Cole’s phone fin
ally lights up and the messages pour in. He tries to hide the screen from Jax, who’s perched on his shoulder, because ninety-nine percent of them are from Kami.
“Dax, did we tell anyone we were leaving?”
“I called Kam on the way up while you were passed out.”
“Was he a dick about it?”
“Nah, not after I told him everything.”
“Everything?” Cole raises an eyebrow.
“The baby and your news.”
“Fuck,” Cole growls.
Dax must read his mind. “Don’t worry, pussy, I told him Sterlings only.”
“Thank god.”
The last thing he needs is Kami all up in this. She’d for sure want to be Nurse Nancy and the center of attention. Part of Cole feels like shit for what’s about to go down with her. Kami was there for him, but in all the wrong ways.
His phone begins to ring, and it’s her fucking number.
“Take it.” Jax nudges his shoulder.
Everything inside him screams not to, but he does.
“Hey.”
“Where the hell have you been? I’ve looked everywhere. None of your brothers or cousins would say a word.”
“Sorry, went out of town for the night. Kami, we need to talk when I get back.”
“Talk now. I’m so pissed at you, I’m not sure things could get worse.”
He decides ripping the Band-Aid fast is the best way to go.
“Pack your shit and get out of the penthouse. We are over.”
“Is this about Rhett?”
It’s as if his phone suddenly went on speaker and all heads turn to look at him, even Dax, whose eyes should be glued to the road.
“No. I’m done with you.” Cole cringes at how harsh his words come out.
“Wow, I knew we were both using each other here, but I thought you might be a bit more respectful.”
“What we have is over.”
“Fine. I’ll be out today.”
“Kami, there’s another woman.”
“Hope she can bring you what I gave to you. Not many would watch you fuck men every night.”
Jax bristles in her seat, and Cole knows she’s been listening to every single word. “He can fuck Santa Claus if he wants. You heard him, get out.”
Cole’s jaw drops, and so does his phone. He quickly scrambles to pick it up.
