Then her gaze lowered. Looking at her servant, the trace of humor fled. Bending, she pressed her lips to Jacob’s brow. I shall miss you, Irishman. Sir Vagabond. Sir Lancelot of the purest heart. My life will be empty without your laughter, so be happy. When the sun shines more brightly, I will know you are still out there, laughing and smiling for me.
She moved her mouth down to his, a featherlight touch. She couldn’t bear more than that, because it reminded her too much of the size of her fangs. But suddenly, she didn’t have a choice. A hand curved around her nape, his knowledgeable fingers teasing the sensitive skin there. His mouth was kissing her back, lips parting, tongue seeking hers, drawing her down more closely so her breasts pressed against his chest. The nipples drew up in aroused reaction, making her ravenous to lie upon him, press her sex to his, feel that searing connection, the affirmation that he was alive. Alive.
She couldn’t do that. For several reasons. But she couldn’t find it in herself to immediately draw back either. Her tears spilled over her lashes, baptizing his face, and he murmured softly into her mouth, caressing her face, the three tight folds of skin molded beneath each of her eyes. One hand slid down her shoulder to take a grip on the clawed elbow of one wing. Her tail curled around his calf, the barbed tip resting just inside the thigh.
When at last she did draw back, her mouth was soft and wet as the expression in his eyes.
Mason cleared his throat and rose. “We’ll wait over there and give you a moment to say good-bye. Mr. Ingram, are there any spirits in your car?”
Ingram frowned. “Not certain. Haven’t felt any.”
The vampire chuckled, and even Gideon’s lips twitched. Both gestures went a long way to easing some of Elijah’s tension about the odd band, their postbattle appearance. And the lady’s unexpected metamorphosis. “You’ve been keeping too much paranormal company, my friend.”
“Booze, Ingram. He’s wanting to know if you’ve got a drink.” Gideon grumbled it, shouldered the crossbow. “I could use a hit of the strongest thing you’ve got myself.”
Ingram nodded. When he saw Mason exchange a significant look with Gideon, he reluctantly joined them in the walk back to the car, giving the man on the ground and his Mistress their privacy.
Jacob watched Lyssa gracefully lower herself from her haunches to her knees next to him, the wings at half- spread to balance herself. So, you want to explain how Lord Mason can read your mind so well, my lady?
The depths of her entirely dark eyes in this form were so deep he could lose himself in them. I don’t answer to you, Sir Vagabond. And you once told me if I knew all of your secrets, I would tire of you in no time…
Christ, his arms weighed a bloody ton. Regardless, he brought her down to him again and was even rougher this time, holding her fast, hands moving to her shoulders to grip. He could feel her struggling against the desire to curl her claws into him. When he growled at her she capitulated, biting into his skin, drawing blood. Her body was shaking. He splayed out his fingers, touching her throat, the ear. He wanted to hold her more tightly, but the moment felt fragile. As if their brush with death was still too close, and moving too quickly or wanting too much might shatter the fantasy and take them back to a horrible reality.
He let her ease back only because the grayness around his vision from the intensity of the embrace made him worry he’d pass out again.
“I thought I’d lost you,” she said.
“You very nearly did. I saw tunnels, white light. Relatives.”
Her face grew still. “Should I have let you go?”
He shook his head. “You weren’t there. It isn’t Heaven if you’re not there. Plus, I think I saw my uncle Wilhelm, which means it must have been Purgatory at best. I can’t imagine God wanting to put up with him on a daily basis.”
She closed her eyes and lowered her head farther. His touch slid to the back of the small skull, fingering the pointed tip of one ear.
There were no shields between their minds now, probably because of the emotion of the moment. Since she was cured of the virus to all appearances, he was sure she’d regained the ability to block him at will. However, he was too tired to focus on the whirl going through her mind. He could sense she’d compressed emotions so strong inside her they were ready to detonate.
“I’ve never seen you hold this form so long,” he said.
As soon as he had the thought, the answer flashed through her mind, despite a tightening of her lips that told him she tried to block it.
She wasn’t choosing to not raise her shields. She couldn’t.
The significance of what Mason had said struck him then. Why did they need a moment now, when they could have all the moments they wanted somewhere protected—a hotel, her house in Atlanta, anywhere but in an open airfield?
Must say good-bye…
Though she tried to obscure it with other thoughts, she was too used to relying on her shields, and he had a whole new level of psychic clarity in addition to his own to defrost the window of her mind. Pushing his weariness aside, he concentrated and got it all dumped on him in one flood that hit him low in the gut.
She couldn’t change back. Whether it was the effect of the serum on her Fey blood that Brian had not factored in, or the stress of turning him when he was already well on the other side of the Veil, she’d lost her ability to return to the form she knew he loved so much.
“Don’t be daft, my lady.” He pro cessed her thoughts and his own, separating them instantly. The shot of adrenaline at being alive had carried him far enough to dispatch Carnal, but no further. He cursed how weary his body was, how he could do little more than touch her face, grip her hand, but he marveled at this new hyperclarity of his mind, as if he could pro cess a hundred thoughts at once. He wondered if it was that way for all of them and wryly reflected there might be some truth to the vampire sense of mental superiority. “I love you in any form. All of them are beautiful. I remember a night in a forest when I gladly would have taken you like this. You denied me.”
“I would have killed you. This form is not gentle when roused.”
“I think I can handle it now. I’m invincible.”
“You look ready to conquer the world.” Despite the dry tone, she hesitated, her long talons hovering. He captured her closed hand, took it to his face and turned into it, kissing her palm while her lethal claws curled into his hair.
“You’ll regain your strength in three days,” she said unsteadily. “Or rather, a fledgling vampire’s strength. Right now your body is regenerating for a vampire’s unique physical attributes. Once you get that strength, Mason will teach you how to make the most of it, manage it. How to feed, how often. How to use the mind link, though as a servant you already have the basics of that. But I think, because you already had psychic ability, that Mason will be a good teacher of how to take greater advantage of that. Gideon is going to help, too.”
Jacob shoved past the muzziness that was hatefully trying to draw him into a doze. “How? By pushing me into a murderous rage to test my control?”
She wasn’t able to keep the humor from her eyes this time. “I’ve rarely seen you in a murderous rage. That seems more his area than yours.”
“And what are you talking about? Where are you going?” He circled her wrist with both of his hands, as if he could hold her there, when he knew she could shake him off like a clumsy infant. Which at the moment he was.
“I don’t know yet.” Her lips twisted ironically. “Which is good, since I no longer have the ability to keep you out of my head. But I can’t stay among you like this. Whether or not the Council comes after me, Belizar is right. They won’t accept me like this, not as their queen. Even if times change, it will take time. Right now, in their minds, the line is ended. No more royalty in the vampire ranks. I’ll go where I’m safe, never fear.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You need time to think. This is a whole new world for you, Jacob, and the punishme
nt for making a vampire out of a servant is only against the maker. With Mason’s backing, you’ll be accepted. He’ll find you a place in the Middle East, or you could even go to Lady Daniela’s territory. You need time to figure out your place in your new world.”
“I’ve always known my place.” He said it with heat. “It’s with you.”
The blaze of anger in his blue eyes shot longing through her. He was alive. So alive. She wanted to devour him. Hold him to her breast forever. “You stand a better chance with Mason.”
If they did hunt her, she couldn’t bear seeing him harmed, isolated, ostracized. If she was killed, she didn’t want him seeing it. The anguish he would feel…She would feel it. Making it that much worse as she was shot from the sky like a poached eagle. Them trussing her lifeless body, hauling it back to Brian’s lab to be cut up like a piece of meat.
“No.” He sat up then, seized both of her wrists.
She closed her eyes. Despite the seriousness of the moment, she teased him softly with his own words, from what seemed a long time ago, when he had thoughts he didn’t want her to hear. “I forgot you could do that.”
“You won’t leave without me, my lady.” Jacob glanced behind him at a quiet step. Mason approaching again, his eyes locked on his lady’s.
“He can’t stop me forever. There’s nowhere you can go that I won’t follow.”
“Think, Jacob. Please, for my sake”—for one breath, just one heartbeat—“don’t think of me. Think of yourself. Learn from Mason. If you don’t, you’ll not live long as a vampire. I need to know you’re alive and well. That’s all I want.”
“Like hell.” Did she think he couldn’t feel the ache of her loneliness already? She’d never needed many around her, but those she chose, she chose carefully, loved fiercely. In less than two years, they’d all been taken from her. She would shut down, retreat from the world, let the animal part take her over as she lived in some cave. She’d willingly forget what it was to be humanoid because reverting to animal instinct would be easier. That way when they hunted her down and killed her, she would only have an animal’s confusion about what was happening. She wouldn’t be tortured by the anguished remembrance of why.
“Yang-Sun, my old teacher, told me a person who loses everything is being given a new beginning by the gods. This is what’s best.” She freed one hand to trace his lips, then realized she couldn’t without cutting him. Her face crumpled.
That doesn’t matter. Kiss me, my lady. Please.
“I can’t.” She couldn’t stay another moment or her heart would disintegrate into pieces. She had to let him go. Good- bye,Jacob.
“No!” Though he tried to hold on, she wrested away, tears gathering in her eyes again, and launched herself.
“My lady …” He tried to struggle up, staggered. When Mason came to his aid, he threw him off with a snarl, managing it himself. As he watched her wing away, a dark shadow against the predawn sky, he swallowed over jagged glass.
“My lady.”
I release you from my service. Be happy.
“Son of a bitch,” he swore, glaring at Mason as the man drew close again. The amber eyes were sympathetic, but implacable.
“Come. We need to get you inside.”
It hadn’t occurred to him, but now Jacob realized he was getting warmer. A great deal warmer. Uncomfortably so, warning him of the dawn. He would never feel a sunrise again, but knowing he could never feel his lady’s touch eclipsed that loss, made it insignificant.
No, he would see her again. He would learn the damn lessons, learn everything he needed to protect her, use his new strengths to do that, and to find her again. He had to. Not just because he loved her so much life wasn’t worth living without her, but because she needed him in a way she’d never needed anyone since she’d matured into her adult vampire abilities.
She’d not only lost the ability to shapeshift into human form. She’d sacrificed her vampire blood to save his life. When the dawn came, she wouldn’t have to go to ground. Jacob had become a vampire, and she’d transformed fully into a Fey creature.
Because of their link, or his new abilities mixed with his own natural ones, he’d picked it up from those last subconscious thoughts. While she was still immortal, she only possessed the strength and quickness commensurate to the musculature she bore. The way a lion or tiger had power. She was fast, but not so fast she couldn’t be followed with the eye. If the vampire world learned that, she’d be as vulnerable to them as…a human. She was not strong enough to stand against even one of the lower echelon. It was possible even a human’s tranquilizer dart could take her down.
She might or might not have her unknown scope of magical Fey abilities to aid her, but in her mind she’d doubted it. Without that, Jacob knew even among the Fey she’d be considered little better than their lowest caste. An untouchable.
She was his lady, his to protect. His to love. He was not going to lose her.
Chapter 22
Four Months Later
He’d been in the Appalachians for two weeks now, hiking deeper and deeper beyond the touch of human civilization. The last evidence of human existence had been twenty miles ago, the remains of a camp for recreational hikers. By day he pitched his tent, made with special fiber to screen out light. By night he moved with silent, deadly grace through the wood, not even detected by the forest creatures until he was right upon them. He could place a hand on a deer’s flank, feel the soft coarseness of her hair, smell her scent before she darted away, startled, crashing through the night. One eve ning he’d emerged from a creek where he’d been bathing to find a wolf pack surveying his small camp. He’d snarled, baring fangs. They’d snarled back. But then they turned and loped on.
Tonight, he’d been traveling for several hours before the moon managed to rise above the cloud cover. As he squatted by a stream, he dropped his head on his shoulders, enjoying the feel of the darkness, the way the breeze lifted his hair. The sounds of the night. The stars.
He’d noticed them before of course, but until his lady, he’d always been more of a daylight person. Now he knew the constellations, the phases of the moon, and studied with interest the way shadows moved over the silver face of the symbol of feminine power and mystery. He’d realized the night wind was actually silent. It was what it passed through that gave it a voice.
After months of nearly being driven mad by his own burning impatience, a calm had finally settled over him. She was near.
Do you really think you can hide from me, my lady? I know you’ve been close for several days now. Staying just out of my sight.
During the time he’d had to endure his full transition to a vampire form, sometimes they’d had to chain him to hold him. Chains that no fledgling should be able to break he shattered within three nights. So they doubled them, strengthened them. As he fought the bloodlust, he knew what was tearing at his vitals was not a hunger for blood, but for her. Knowing she had no one to protect her. Robbed of the great strength she had.
Handicapped. Like him, she would be adapting to her new form, its capabilities. Only he was adapting to a strength and quickness far beyond a mortal’s. She was adjusting to far less of those qualities than what she’d always known. Alone.
He’d had the company of Mason, Gideon, Mr. Ingram and all the resources at their disposal. She was a fugitive.
He did everything Mason told him he needed to learn and more. But there were things he could not rush. The ability to control the bloodlust only came with the full transformation and maturing of the systems in his body. Gideon made it clear he’d stake him if he tried to leave before then. Mason, while a little less vitriolic, had also made it clear he wouldn’t be permitted to leave until he wasn’t a danger to innocents.
“Once the transformation is complete, it will not completely rule you,” Mason had said. “But even during the first decade it’s tempting at times of great stress or anger to let it take control. You must fight it whenever it arises until you are certain you ca
n control it. You need that discipline even more than a normal fledgling, for your power is exponentially greater than one.”
That anomaly had disturbed Mason enough that he talked Jacob into allowing Brian to study him to help them understand what had happened. Brian was amazed to discover that somehow Lyssa had given Jacob over a thousand years of matured vampire powers when she converted him. Strength, quickness, compulsion.
He would have traded some of that strength for his lady’s experience at reading minds over a great distance. While the ability to communicate with a human or vampire whose blood he’d taken was a common vampire skill, the ability to maintain the clarity of that communication over great distances was apparently something a vampire acquired with practice, not as part of conversion. A week after her departure, Jacob had panicked upon rising, for he could no longer discern her thoughts in his mind. While his precognitive ability had helped him adapt to the skill quickly as a servant, he hadn’t realized how much of it was guided by Lyssa’s own abilities.
He could feel her. Locate her generally. But he couldn’t hear her thoughts. Only a jumble, a puzzle of words, as if the signal was scrambled. Mason and Gideon both thought that was for the best. That it would make the passage of time easier. Instead, he kept waking from nightmares in which she was locked in a coffin, screaming his name while he was unable to hear her.
He had no interest in vampire politics or finding a place in vampire society. He knew where his place was. To help him elasticize the frayed wire of his patience, waiting for the damnable transformation to complete so he wouldn’t be tempted to drain innocent Girl Scouts, he made the decision to let Brian study him to his heart’s content, in return for a vital favor.
As a result, in addition to his carefully rationed store of blood packed in his cooler backpack, he carried something even more important. All he needed to use it was his lady.
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