Footsteps came towards her, and then strong arms picked her up and carried her inside. Her head lolled against his chest, the steady beat of his heart filling her ears. It lulled her to sleep, although she wanted to remember every part of this night. Exhaustion took her.
Only vaguely did she feel his fingers undoing her coat. His strong hands lifting her so he could remove it. One layer at a time he undressed her, but not far enough for her skin to be exposed. Then he put her under the covers and tucked them around her.
“Goodbye, Zoah,” she said. Her eyes opening to look into his, tears welling there in the dark pools. With the last of her strength, she lifted her hand and stroked his cheek. “Come back to me.”
He turned his face, closing his eyes as he kissed her fingers. Then he left her. Sleep claimed her and she slept; no dreams invaded her peace. Even though she would have loved to dream of him, of lying in his arms. The only creature to give her comfort was Hope. Who came and curled up next to her, purring as the night passed and the new dawn arrived.
Chapter Eleven - Zoah
She knew. That knowledge disturbed him. What if she expected him to react, to show her affection? He could not do it. Maybe he should leave now, but he could not leave her alone. He could hide in the grounds like some common thief until Connor returned.
He was so tired of this going round and round in his head he did a thing he hadn’t for a while. The wine cellar might just hold the answer to blotting out all thoughts of her. Going down the steps, he came to a cool room filled with bottles that were worth a fortune. This was how they made their money. Selling wine that they had collected over the centuries. Every time there was a good year, they bought several cases and stowed them here until the value rose substantially. Then they would send it to auction. Not very exciting, but it paid the bills.
He cracked open a bottle and took a large mouthful. Connor would berate him for drinking one of the more expensive ones, but he didn’t care. He would be gone before Connor even realised.
The warm buzz filled him; he took another gulp, drinking it like soda. It was two more bottles before he staggered to his room and collapsed on to his bed. It had been a long time since he had slept here, but at least tonight his mind was too vague to conjure up images of Charlotte lying there. She was too young. He had to leave. Those were the words spinning around and around his head as his eyes closed. On this, his last night in the house he had called a home for hundreds of years.
Chapter Twelve - Charlotte
When she peeled her eyes open, it was late, very late. She could tell by the empty feeling in her stomach: she felt sick with the need to eat. However, to go out of her room would no doubt mean seeing Zoah. It worried her, because she couldn’t quite remember everything that happened last night.
Only snatches of it were clear. From the time she realised what he was to her, or rather what she was to him, time and reason had left her. One thing stayed with her, though, the sound of his heart beating. It reverberated around her head as she lay on her pillow. Until her own heart seemed to have altered to beat in perfect time with it.
His heart. His heart stone. If he made his feelings known, he would offer her immortality. But she didn’t want to be stuck inside the hormonal body of a fifteen-year-old forever. Anyway, she wasn’t old enough for... Yuck. She didn’t even want to think about the Moon Rite, so what was she to do?
Staying in her room wasn’t an option, so she did the only thing she could think of. When she went to the kitchen, she found him there nursing a sore head. She pretended everything was the same, that she hadn’t made the connection. Zoah happily – although there was nothing happy about him this morning – played along.
“Is there coffee on?”
He looked at her. Studying her features, which she flattened, only allowing a slight petulant pout to appear on her lips. The first expression to appear on his haggard face was relief. It was quickly followed by a hint of disappointment. Charlotte’s pulse beat faster, it confirmed what she believed, but she pushed it from her mind. She didn't want this to complicate her life. The life she only just had reclaimed. She didn’t want to become the property of a dragon; she wanted freedom.
“Yes. I’ve just put a fresh pot on.”
“The flight last night was amazing,” she said. Trying to think of what she would say if things were normal. If she hadn’t made the earth-shattering connection between them.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“I did. But I was so tired at the end I can’t really remember getting home.”
“You fell asleep; I had to carry you to your room.”
“Thanks,” she said lightly. “I can’t believe I slept so long.”
He took a good gulp of his coffee. It didn’t help; he still looked deathly pale, so different to his normal appearance. “After you’ve eaten we need to go through the house and clean up.”
“OK,” she answered, knowing the house was clean. She had kept on top of all the chores, with little help from Zoah. But it would no doubt keep them occupied and away from each other for the day. Would he think it strange if she didn’t argue that point, as she usually would have? Looking at the state of him, she didn't think it even registered.
“Shall I do you a nice breakfast?” she asked. “Eggs, sausage that sort of thing?”
His face paled. “No, thanks. In fact I think I’m going to go and lie down for a while.” With that, he left. Charlotte watched him go, knowing that she was going to have to get used to him doing that.
She made some toast, which she ate without tasting it. Nothing could ease her anxiety. When she questioned herself, she understood that she was worried about Zoah. Not so much how much he would miss her, but how he would survive on his own without Connor. Perhaps she should be the one to leave. However, she had nowhere else to go, not when she was only a minor. So guilt added to the mix of feelings churning around inside her.
When he didn’t return she grabbed the cleaning cloths and headed out to polish the mirrors in the big hall. Purposely, she avoided the suits of armour, so she wouldn’t picture his face. She didn't need to be reminded of the moment when she had been so sure he was going to kiss her. It all made sense now; he had tried to cover his feelings for her in the only way he knew how.
Her whole impression of him had changed. She didn’t know the real Zoah; the man she thought she knew must have known from the start what she was to him. In all these months, he had suffered his pain, even allowing her to go on dates with other boys. She was just so glad nothing serious ever came of those boys, because it would have been wrong. She was Zoah’s. And he was leaving.
Wasn’t it hard enough being a teenager without going through all this? When she had been rescued from the grasp of Samuel, she had been looking forward to a life of teenage freedom. The time before you had to think of your future, the time when proms were the most important date in your diary. It was cruel to cast this upon her. Yet she had wished for this in some ways. It meant that she would always be with Serena; her sister wouldn’t have to watch her grow old. She had brought this on herself.
***
Once finished with her chores, Charlotte went back to bed. A siesta, they called it in Spain, and that was what she needed. It would be a late night tonight, she was determined to stay up and wait for Connor to land on the tower. She longed to see her sister again and talk over all her troubles.
Later when she joined Zoah on the roof to wait for them, she wanted to ask him one question. It rang around and around in her head but she couldn't ask him: Will you say goodbye before you leave? Because they had already done that last night.
“Can you sense when he’s close?” Charlotte asked.
“Yes. A dragon can sense another dragon. Soon you will see him, look to the north.”
She peered into the dark sky, unable to see anything but the moon and the stars. However, after several minutes Zoah nudged her and pointed. She allowed herself to move close to him, their bodies touching wh
ile she looked along his arm to where it pointed. An occasional shift in the sky told her the dragon was approaching. It was as though her vision broke for an instant before pulling itself back together.
Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the night sky and she made out the outline of Connor’s bulky body. The rise and fall of his wings wiping out the stars for an instant before they twinkled again. She could understand why they chose to fly at night. They were almost invisible. A black, fleeting shadow across the sky. Even a keen-eyed astronomer would struggle to spot them travelling so fast.
Hunched over his back she could make out Serena, riding her dragon as Charlotte had last night. That night seemed like a dream now. In some ways, she wished it was, because then she would be unaware of the truth of why Zoah was leaving. She would be oblivious to the fact that she was his mate. The very thing that was supposed to keep him here was the thing that was driving him away.
Zoah’s arm wrapped around her and he pressed his body against hers, jolting her out of her daydream. It took her a moment to realise he wasn’t making a pass at her, wasn’t igniting the flames that once lit would never be quenched. Instead, he was doing what a dragon was supposed to do, protecting her. Protecting his mate.
The hard downbeat from Connor’s wings nearly knocked her off her feet. Zoah manoeuvred her back to the wall and held her there until it was safe. If he hadn’t held her, she might have been swept off the tower and down to her doom. At least that would spare her from the anguish churning inside of her. Here in his arms she wanted to tell him that she knew everything. That she had guessed his secret and that it was OK. But it wasn’t OK, so the words stayed firmly in her head, never to pass her lips.
Chapter Thirteen - Zoah
What was he doing? The contact between them was too much, but if he released her, she would be swept off her feet and to her doom. He gritted his teeth and tried to put his mind elsewhere. Mentally he went through all the preparations he had made.
Once his hangover had cleared, he had spent the day setting things in order so that Connor could carry on the business with ease. He had transferred some money to an offshore account, leaving him free to go wherever he wanted. Although the only place he wanted to be was right here with Charlotte in his arms. He could smell her, the scent of her hair making his dragon push for release. It wanted to conquer his human side so that he wouldn’t leave his mate.
Swallowing down his desire, he gently pushed Charlotte away and went to help Serena. Connor stood patiently while she got down from his back, her body stiff from sitting in the same position for so long. He was surprised to see her baby bump already visible. She was going to give his brother a child to be proud of.
“Thank you, Zoah,” Serena said, leaning on him for support while she tried to get some feeling back into her legs.
He sensed Charlotte come up close behind him and turned to hand Serena over to her sister. Charlotte immediately embraced Serena, burying her face in her chest.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, Charlotte. I have so much to tell you. You would love it in Spellholm.”
“I am just so glad you’re back,” Charlotte said and then abruptly broke into tears.
Serena raised her eyes to look into Zoah’s, trying to figure out what was going on. What could he say? He had his suspicions that she had figured out what he was to Charlotte. She had kept it to herself and he didn’t want to make things even more complicated.
He simply shrugged and said, “I think she’s been worried about you. The flight with the baby and everything.”
He was sure Serena hadn’t bought that, but she looked exhausted. She rubbed Charlotte’s back comfortingly and said, “Come on. Let’s go down into the warmth. I need a nice cup of tea and a sit-down in front of the fire. I thought I would freeze to death. We had to fly so high.”
“You go down, I’ll see to Connor," Zoah said.
He was already loosening the straps of the bags, which contained everything that they had taken with them. His fingers made light work of the leather thongs and soon he was lifting them down from Connor’s back.
While he carried them to the trap door, he felt the shift in the air as Connor changed. Now human again, he came to help Zoah, opening the trap door. Before he descended down to the stone steps, Zoah put out his hand and stopped him.
“I need to speak to you. In private.”
“Can’t it wait until we have everything off the tower? It looks like rain.”
“No. I don't want there to be any chance of Charlotte hearing.”
Peering closely at Zoah’s face, Connor realised he wasn’t going to like what his brother had to say. He also knew he wouldn't be able to change his mind; he could read Zoah so easily and his brother's face was determined. There would be no talking him out of whatever he had decided, so Connor wasn’t even going to try.
“Did something happen while we were away?”
“Yes. And no.” Zoah searched for the right words. “It’s getting harder. Last night I nearly gave in to this stupid need to be with her. So I’m leaving.”
“I guessed as much. Once we’re settled in, I’ll help you get organised. But right now I want to see that Serena is OK.”
Zoah place his hand on Connor’s hand. “You don’t understand. I’m leaving now.”
“Tonight?”
“Now. I’m not going back down into the house. I have everything I need here. We swap the pack over and you help me leave.”
Connor staggered back from his brother. “Zoah. Let’s go down and talk. I have so much to share with you about the dragons we met.”
“No.” He shook his head firmly. “My mind is made up. I don’t want to hear about other dragons. I don’t need to hear how blissfully happy you and Serena are. And I don’t need to see the swell of her belly.”
Connor’s temper flared. “Zoah.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean it like that. But I know it would be easy to give into this desire to be with my mate. It would be much easier than leaving. But I can’t. She knows. I’m sure she does, and yet she chose to keep it to herself. She’s scared. So I’m going now to make it easier for her.”
“Then let’s get you ready.”
Zoah let out a trembling breath. Was he relieved that Connor hadn’t tried to persuade him to stay? Or disappointed that Connor hadn’t told him to stay and work it out? Deep in his soul, he knew that this was the right thing to do. The only thing that had changed was that he knew now he would come back to claim her. When the time was right, when she was older.
He only hoped it wouldn't be too late. That in the years they were apart she wouldn't give herself to another man. A more worthy man than the egotistical, selfish being that was Zoah.
~ NOW ~
Chapter Fourteen - Charlotte
Every time she came home to Spellholm, she expected him to be there. Every time he wasn’t, she felt the fear that he would never come for her growing stronger. Over the last couple of years, she had eased her worry by telling herself that he hadn’t returned because of her age. Now she was eighteen, a woman to the modern world, so why did he stay away?
Walking through the forest to Serena’s house, she half-hoped he would come out to meet her. However, she knew he wasn’t there. There was no familiar raising of the hair on the back of her neck. When he was close, she could feel him so acutely it sent shivers through her body. The more she had grown and matured, the stronger the sensation had become.
She had grown used to ignoring it, pushing it out of her mind, during the times he came to watch over her. When she had first felt him close by she had turned to glimpse him, and he had melted into the crowd. It didn’t take her long to know that she would never set her eyes on him unless he wanted her to. So she became content to feel him with all her other senses. If she listened carefully and tuned out everything else, she could swear she could hear the beating of his heart.
“Lotte.” She lifted her head to see her young neph
ew toddling towards her.
“Hello, Brandan,” she called and rushed forward, gathering him up in her arms. He threw his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek with his sticky lips. “What have you been doing?”
“Bee.” He smacked his lips together.
“You’ve been after the wild honey again. Does your mommy know where you are?”
They weren’t far from the house Serena and Connor had moved into when they came to Spellholm two years ago. Despite her reservations, Charlotte had come here to live with them too. She understood that her sister wanted to have her baby here. For him to grow up in a place where he would be safe and accepted. When the change took over him at puberty, it wouldn’t matter if he shimmered into a dragon by mistake. Connor had told them that it was a hard thing to control at first. Think of teenage hormones out of control and then throw in a dragon. Someone could get burned.
Brandan wriggled out of her arms. Once his feet were firmly planted on the ground, he took off towards the house. She watched as he ran on his short, sturdy legs, which didn’t always go in the same direction. Charlotte followed, laughing at how much he had grown since she had seen him last.
“There you are, Brandan,” Serena said. “How many times have I told you not to go off on your own like that?”
“He’s a boy. He has to have freedom,” Connor said, scooping his son up into his arms.
“Lotte,” Brandan said, pointing.
“Charlotte,” Serena cried. “You’re early.”
“I got a lift from Tom.” Tom was the law around Spellholm; he was also a wolf shifter. Tom patrolled the forest looking for ordinary people who had wandered into Spellholm. Most “mundane” people, those without magic, were put off coming too deep into the forest.
Love of the Dragon: BBW Shifter Romance (Her Dragon's Bane Book 4) Page 4
