by Jessica Ames
I shrug him off and he lets me go. I’m practically spitting fire by the time I reach the bar.
“Take your hands off him,” I snarl at her.
She arches a delicate brow at me, but doesn’t remove her touch.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Red growls at me, her hand moving up to Ty’s shoulder.
I don’t think. I snatch her hand and bend it up her back until she’s dancing on her toes to try to alleviate the pressure.
“Get it into your head. That man there is mine. You don’t touch him, you don’t fuck him, you don’t try to get your dirty claws into him. You do and we’re going to have a problem.”
I let her go with a shove and she stumbles on her high heels. “Rav, are you going to let this bitch talk to me like this?” she demands in a whiny voice that grates on my nerves.
I fold my arms over my chest and peer down at my man.
“She’s my fucking old lady,” Tyler snaps out, although his words are slurred together. “I would listen to her if I were you.”
“Rav!” the redhead complains.
“Leave me the fuck alone, Melody,” he mutters.
I watch as the bunny sashays off with a huff, trying to sink her teeth into a new victim—Levi—but he brushes her off too, too focused on what’s happening with his president.
I turn my attention back to Tyler. He takes a long swig of his drink. “Go away, Sash.”
His words flay me. Agony lances through my chest, knowing everyone is watching us, but I can’t show weakness now. I need to be the woman they all remember—Priest’s daughter. She’s not the kind of woman who will beg.
My heart breaks as I grind out, “You don’t want me? Fine. I’m gone. I’m not going to beg for scraps.”
As I start to turn, he grabs my arm, stopping me. “You ain’t leaving.”
“Fuck that, Ty. I’m not some club bunny you can blow off when you get bored of me.”
His glassy gaze moves towards me and I see pain reflected in his eyes. My anger simmers down and I swallow past the lump in my throat.
“I’m yours. Come back to the room. Let me help you.”
“You can’t. You can’t undo what I’ve done.” His throat works as he says it and my heart breaks for him.
“No, I can’t, but I’ll take that anger, anything you throw at me. I can handle it.” He doesn’t reply, so I add, “Come to bed, please.”
He shakes his head. “Can’t.”
I let out a breath and use the only other weapon in my arsenal. “I’m going to the hospital to see our daughter.”
He flinches at my words and I see a little of the ice start to crack.
“A brother will take you. You don’t go alone.”
The argument sits on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow it back. He’s not thinking straight and I get that, but as with Sin, I know my words can be weapons.
“I love you,” I tell him, my words wobbling. “Don’t let him destroy us. Don’t give him that power.”
He raises his head and his eyes bore into mine, as if seeing me for the first time. He’s not drunk, but he has checked out. I don’t know how to reach him.
“I killed James.” It’s weird to hear him call Sin by his real name and it makes it more real.
“I know.” Tears well in my eyes.
“He needed to die.”
“Yeah.”
His face contorts into a broken snarl. “I can’t stand it.”
I don’t care who is watching, I wrap my arms around him and burrow my head into his chest.
“He wasn’t James. He hasn’t been for a long time. He wasn’t the brother you remember.”
He kisses my forehead. “Yeah.”
“Sin was broken. His head too messed up. He made those choices. That’s on him. Not you.”
Ty slides off the stool. “Bed.”
Relief floods me and as he staggers, I reach out to catch him. He nearly knocks me on my arse with his huge bulk. Then Nox and Daimon are there, taking a side of him. These men are his brothers. Not Sin. There was no loyalty there, no love. Sin hated him for things that were out of his control. Jealousy is a fickle bitch and it got him killed.
Day and Nox help him upstairs, mostly carrying him as they move.
I open the door and get out of the way as they dump him on the bed. He flops back, his unfocused gaze on the ceiling.
I walk the two guys back to the door.
“Thanks.”
“You need help getting him settled?” Day asks.
“Do you think he’d appreciate you tucking him in?”
Daimon grunts in amusement.
“I’ve got it from here,” I assure them.
“Sash,” Nox says my name quietly. “You’re okay, right?”
I nod, my smile thin. “Yeah.”
“Just know that fucker paid for what he did to you, but doing it fucked with Rav’s head. He’s going to need some time to wrap his mind around what he did.”
I give him a thin smile, feeling my heart shattering at his words. Ty did this for me and now he’s hurting. That cuts deep. “He’ll get through it.”
“Yeah, he will.” He raps his knuckles on the door frame and pushes back. “You need anything, you call.”
“Thanks.”
I shut the door and for a moment, I stare at the wood, trying to gather my thoughts. I have no idea what to say to Tyler to fix this. I don’t know if this can ever be fixed, which is why I didn’t want him to do it.
I move over to the bed and peer down at him. Then without a word, I start to unlace his left boot. I tug it off his foot and move to the right. Both boots off, I move to his belt and undo it. He doesn’t move, his eyes still focused on the ceiling as I manage to wrestle his jeans down past his hips.
Once he’s free of the denim, I move to his top half. “You’re going to have to help me here, Ty,” I mutter.
He doesn’t speak or move. With a sigh, I crawl onto the bed and lie down next to him. Then I wrap my arm around him, nuzzling up against his side.
“I know it doesn’t mean much right now, but thank you for what you did.”
He shifts beneath me and his hand moves to stroke over my hair. The tension in my chest starts to loosen.
I lean up and press my mouth to his, needing to show him without words how much. He stiffens at first, but then he relaxes into the kiss. I take the lead, swiping my tongue along the seam of his lips, begging for entry. He gives it to me and as soon as I’m inside, I caress his tongue.
His hand tangles in my hair, holding me in place as he takes my mouth like a starving man eating his last meal. My heart is racing, pounding so hard I’m sure he can feel it against him. I should be terrified of taking this step, but I’m not. This is Tyler, not Sin, and I want this. I want him.
He shoves my tee up to my armpits, taking a moment to appreciate my uncovered tits, glad I’m not wearing a bra, before the garment is dragged over my head. I lean forwards, putting my nipple in reach of his mouth and he leans up taking it. A shiver runs through me as his tongue swipes over the hard, little bud and I close my eyes, feeling the sensations running through my body.
He plays with both nipples, alternating between the two as he devours each nub in turn. Within minutes, I’m writhing on top of him, between my legs dampening with every passing swipe of his tongue. I pant, my breath ripping out of me. I never thought sex could feel good again, but being on top is giving me a sense of control, I need to do this.
“Pull down your joggers,” he orders.
My pussy throbs at his words and I do as he asks, shaking them off my ankles.
“Lose the underwear.”
His bossiness has my mouth drying out. I shimmy out of the clean boxers I borrowed from Ty after the shit with Sin. I couldn’t bring myself to wear anything that he touched, so Ty let me raid his drawers after I showered.
I toss the boxers on the floor behind me while he sits up and pulls off his kutte and tee, leaving him in just his underwear
.
I sit back on his torso, my bare pussy against his stomach. His fingers move to my hips and he tugs me towards him. I move up his body as he directs me until I’m sitting over his face. Then his tongue dips out and goes between my folds. I gasp, my back arching as electricity flashes through my pussy. He doesn’t stop. His tongue goes to work, brushing back and forth over my sensitive clit. Clinging to the headboard, I try not to drop my weight onto him, even though my legs feel weak.
I can feel my orgasm building as he keeps eating my pussy, his fingers digging into my thighs to pull me closer. I’m barely able to breathe as sensations wash through me that I haven’t felt in three years, that I thought I’d never feel again. With Tyler, I feel safe. I feel in control.
I lose that control as stars flicker behind my eyes and my pussy pulses in time with my racing heart. I moan his name as he takes me over the edge and it takes everything I have not to collapse on top of him.
I take a moment to recover, then move to his boxers. Slowly, I slide them down his legs, releasing his hard cock. I want it inside me.
Ty grabs my wrist before my fingers can wrap around his length.
“You don’t have to.”
I peer at my man with my pussy juice shimmering on his beard. Heat pools in my belly at the look he’s giving me and my pussy throbs.
“I want to.”
His fingers release their hold and I wrap my own around his shaft, slowly pulling and twisting up and down it. He shifts, groaning a little at the movement, his legs widening as I move my hand. We keep our eyes locked on each other, electric energy bouncing between us. He’s my soulmate. We fit each other perfectly. He’s the only man I’ll ever want or need. With Ty, I feel safe, loved, whole. He doesn’t make me feel dirty or wrong. For the first time in years, the dirt covering me is being washed away.
When he’s hard, I sit myself so I’m hovering over his cock and meet his eyes. I see trust and love there. I hope the same thing is reflected in my eyes because I do love this man and I absolutely trust him.
He reaches into his bedside table and pulls out a condom. I take it from him, opening the wrapper before I slide it down the length of his shaft. I don’t miss the twitching of his thighs as I scrape my fingers over his sensitive length.
He peers up at me and I see the question in his eyes, which are no longer dull and unseeing, but bright and focused.
Do you want this?
In answer, I swipe the head of his engorged cock through my folds and then slowly lower myself onto the shaft. I hold my breath as his girth stretches my pussy and keep my eyes locked on him, reminding myself this is Tyler, not Sin, that I want this. It’s easier when he’s looking at me like I’m his reason for breathing right now. The connection we always had is there still, stronger, more vibrant than ever. We both survived hell and came out the other side.
When he’s seated fully inside me, I let out a little whimper. A rush of feelings washes over me. Front and centre is anxiety, but I push it aside, and focus on the man beneath me. He swallows hard, and I can see it’s taking every ounce of self-control not to move his hips.
Slowly, I pull myself up off him nearly to the tip and then push back down on him. Tyler tries to give me the control I need, but he’s not built to be a passive passenger either. His hips start to move and he pushes deep inside me before pulling back, over and over. I let him take control, my hands pressed against his chest as I move in time with his rhythm. My breaths are coming in sharp little pants now. His hands grip my hips as I move against him, rotating my pelvis to drive him deeper inside me.
My orgasm hits first, and I moan as I jerk on his cock. Then I feel him twitch beneath me as he shoots his load into the condom. I collapse onto his chest, feeling him slip out of me, hating the loss of him, but when his arms wrap around me, I snuggle into him.
“I love you, Tyler. Don’t ever forget that.”
There’s a long moment of silence. “I love you too, baby. Always.”
33
Ravage
Sasha dozes for a while after we fuck, and I leave her to sleep. It’s good to see. She needs the rest. She’s been working so hard, taking care of Lily-May and trying to work through the nightmares my brother left behind. I doubt she’s had any peaceful nights for a long time.
I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they did between us, but we both needed each other. I wanted to take things slow with her, get her comfortable with me again. I never wanted to use her body to soothe my own pain, but I couldn’t stop myself from taking what was offered. I needed her more than I’ve ever needed anyone. I still need her. Sasha does what I can’t do for myself. She appeases the savage beast inside me, makes me feel less broken.
Taking her pussy, connecting our bodies, helped put some of my monsters back in their boxes. I feel level-headed again, surer of my decisions. I know it’ll take me a long time to come to terms with what I did to my brother. I know I’ll feel the pain until my last breath is taken, but I know deep down it had to happen. Sasha was right when she said he wasn’t the James I remembered. Something had changed in him, twisting his mind. As long as he was breathing, Sin would continue to be a danger to Sasha. I know he would have killed her; that his obsession ran too deep for any other outcome. I couldn’t have him out there like that. Sasha would never be able to move on.
I know I can’t have the old Sasha back. I’m not the same man she remembers. She’s also scarred by her past. She’ll have to carry those marks with her, just as I will, but she is regaining some of that previous fire I loved about her. I can see it in her eyes, in the way she looks at me. Every piece of her I put back is redemption. I should never have trusted anyone else with the most important thing in my world. I won’t make that mistake again.
I peer at her face, dark purple bruises starting to appear along her cheeks, and my jaw clenches. She got hurt on my watch, and that’s something I’ll never forgive myself for. I’ll spend a lifetime making that up to her.
“Ty.”
She stirs and I watch as her beautiful eyes find mine. Her smile slays me. How did I go without her this long? How did I let her walk away?
I watch as she struggles to sit up in the bed, the sheet dropping to reveal dark nipples. My eyes slide to them before moving up to her face.
“Sleep okay?”
“Yeah. What time is it?”
“After seven.”
Her eyes flare and she pushes back the blankets. “We should get back to the hospital. Lily—”
“Will be fine with Lucy and Kyle.”
She leans over in the bed and presses her mouth to mine before she says, “I need to see my baby.”
How can I refuse her or Lily-May anything?
“Get dressed.”
I watch as she climbs out of bed and pulls on her jeans from the other night. Getting out too, I pull on my own boxers and jeans before moving over to the dresser. I find two clean tees in the drawer and toss her one, shrugging into the other myself. The tee, an old Harley one, swims on her, but seeing her in my clothes makes my cock twitch. Possessiveness washes through me and I move over to her, my hands skimming up the back of the tee to the bare skin of her back as I crash my mouth onto hers.
I feel her melt against me as I deepen the kiss, but I pull away before I get too carried away and we end up in bed again.
Breathless, she peers up at me. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Treating me like I’m normal.”
“You are normal.” I brush her hair back from her face. “Let’s go and see our girl.”
She nods, and I see the reluctance to release me in her expression as she pulls away from me to continue dressing. I like that it’s there.
Snagging my kutte off the floor where it was dropped earlier, I shrug into it and settle it into place. Then I hold my hand out to Sasha.
She takes it without hesitation and I lead her out of the clubhouse. I don’t take her to my bike, instead leading her to one of the p
ool cars we use when we need four wheels instead of two. She’d probably be okay on the back of a bike, but Whizz also said she has a concussion. I’m not risking her falling off.
Sasha doesn’t question it as she climbs into the car and waits for me to take off my kutte and turn it inside out before I get into the cage. I don’t ride in cages with my colours on display ever.
As we drive, she tells me stories about Lily-May. I listen to her words, feeling pride bubbling in my stomach.
When we reach the hospital, I can see the tension rolling through my woman, the eagerness to get to our daughter. I feel it too. Together, we walk into the building and head for the children’s department.
As we approach the room, Kyle rises from his seat outside the door. His eyes go to Sasha’s face, and I see him taking in the bruises and cuts with curiosity.
“Everything been okay?” Sash demands.
He nods and we push into the room. Lucy straightens in the chair at the side of the bed and I clock the moment she sees Sasha’s face. Her expression moves from smiley to downright homicidal, as her eyes lock onto my face.
“What the fuck happened?”
The unspoken insinuation that I did it has me growling under my breath. I’d never lay a finger on Sasha like that. That she would accuse me pisses me off as much as it impresses me. Not many women, fuck, not many men, would stand up to me like that. Sash has a good friend here.
“What the fuck are you accusing me of?” My anger flares. I’m guilty of many things and I’ve done a lot of shit that has stained my soul over the years, but I’ve never raised a hand to a woman and I’m not about to start.
“He didn’t do anything to me,” Sasha says to Lucy. I like her taking my corner. “It was Sin.”
Lucy’s eyes widen, a ripple of shock going through her.
“Sin did this?”
“I’m okay,” she assures her, her hand resting on her arm. “Ty wouldn’t hurt me, Luce. Not ever.”
“Sorry,” she mutters an apology.
I should be the bigger person and accept it, but I shrug.
“Don’t give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks of me.”
