“Still tired, but I’m okay.” I sounded surprised even to myself. “There’s a lot I need to tell you guys.”
“You can tell us in the morning. Unless somebody I like is going to kick the bucket first.” The Medic insisted.
I appreciated her wording even in my sleepy state. “I don’t think I’m going back to sleep right away. How much did Winston and Bran tell you?” I asked the group as a whole.
“Almost nothing.” Jason replied, pulling a chair closer while Matthew stood beside him. “Do you know what’s going on?”
I nodded. “Give me a few minutes to wake up first. When I uncollar someone I see some of their memories. I learned a lot.” Noticing Nathan’s uneasy expression, I assured him. “I saw almost nothing from before Cassandra got hold of you.”
Billie spoke privately to me. There are a lot of coincidences piling up, and it all points to your family. More than we expected.
A lot more. I have even more to tell you and Kato. I agreed.
Jason frowned at the mindspeech, but Billie continued anyway. Is it true that one of your relatives tried to collar me eight years ago?
Yes. And failed, thank God. As I sat clearing the fog out of my head, I considered all of the new information. How much should I say to my packmates? I wished I could talk to my Muso first. “Where’s Kato?”
“He took off after you went to bed last night. He asked me to tell you he had to leave to attend to important matters and will return as soon as he can.”
“He didn’t say when, did he?”
“Does he ever?” Jason grumbled.
“No. He definitely works on his own time clock.” I replied.
Billie frowned. “Interesting that you said that. He said events are unfolding untimely and he hopes to be able to explain when he returns.”
“Maybe I can reach him.” Muso. Can you hear me?
I hear you, Muzi. We have only a few moments to speak and cannot be certain of our privacy.
I got right to it. I learned a lot about my family today, and I don’t know how much to tell Jason. He knows enough to ask very direct questions now. Too much and too little all at the same time. Can you advise me?
The winds are changing. Events are unfolding untimely and unpredictably. Tell your Alpha what you must but do not trust that what you say will remain hidden. Trust only your mate in that.
I heard uneasiness in his tone. Are you okay?
I will return as soon as I may. If fortune is with me I will bring others when I return. I must go now. It is not safe for us to speak in this manner. I will contact you when we cannot be overheard. Be well, Muzi.
That sounded ominous. I hadn’t even noticed Matthew disappear inside, but he returned with a cup of coffee, strong and sweet. They waited while I sipped the brew, the smell alone beginning to wake me up. It gave me the time I needed to sort through what I’d learned and to decide what I should say. I raised a barrier to protect our conversation, one a Kratos could not penetrate.
“It doesn’t sound like he’s going to be back any time soon, and I can’t even ask his advice. We need their help.” I told Billie. She didn’t reply, letting me make the decision. I looked around the circle of Wolves: Jason, the Elders, Matthew’s entire team, Sierra and Amy. Every person I tell is one more person that can be read.
“Jason, the Elders and Matthew.” Billie suggested aloud, and I nodded. She addressed the group of Wolves. “Will everyone else go inside?”
“Are you going to explain to your Alpha what’s going on?” Jason challenged us, feeling out of the loop.
“As soon as they leave.” I promised. The others left without questioning the decision. As soon as they could no longer hear me, I addressed my Alpha. “You accused me of half-truths and said you can’t trust me because of it. The first part is true.” I sensed Billie’s surprise at the blatant admission and Jason narrowed his eyes. He let me continue uninterrupted. “It’s been necessary to withhold information from you. There are some things that I can’t risk getting out. A Mage could read one of you, so I’m still not going to tell you everything. But I’ll tell you what I can. But you have to promise that you will not discuss it even with each other unless I’m around to shield the conversation.”
“That’s not your decision to make. It’s mine.” He asserted.
“I’ll be as honest as possible. I kicked a hornet’s nest today, and I’ve put our pack and Graham’s pack in danger. I need your help. I can’t leave them stranded, and I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t do this alone or I wouldn’t risk telling you at all.
“We are Pack, Sadie.” Kathryn reminded me softly. “You are Pack. If you need help, we will stand by you. If the pack is in danger, we will face it together.”
“You’ve been withholding information from me too.” Jason glowered at his Beta, staring her down.
She did not defend her actions. “Yes.”
“What if a Mage reads you?” He challenged.
“Sadie is preventing it.”
“I’m guarding her mind at all times. I can only do it with her, though. There’s something about our matebond that makes it possible. Alpha, please.” I begged him to understand as I deferred to his authority. I’d never begged him for anything before. “If I tell you too much, I’m handing weapons to your worst enemies. Wolf versus Wolf. Mage versus Mage. We keep saying that, but it’s more than just deciding who confronts a particular threat. I’m Pack, but I’m also a Mage. I can’t pretend I’m not, and I have to act like one if we’re going to survive this. Trust me.”
“I’m responsible for the safety of this Pack. You ask too much, Sadie.”
“I know. I don’t know how to do this any other way. I didn’t ask for any of this, and I didn’t know I was getting the pack tangled up in it until it was done.” I expected an explosion, and instead I received a calculating stare from all parties.
“Tell us.” Jason ordered.
I took a deep breath and began. “I’ll start with the good news. According to Lief, Bran was the only collared Wolf in Graham’s Pack. He wasn’t even collared for very long. The bad news is that freeing Winston screwed everything up. I’m pretty sure that’s what Kato meant when he said events are unfolding untimely and unpredictably. If they figure out that Winston is free, they’ll go for him and then they’ll come after me. They’ll find me a lot sooner than I thought.”
“Who?” Jason asked, and I sensed Billie’s mind whirling with the implications.
“Kratos.” I spat the word as if it tasted bad. “Kratos isn’t just one person. It’s what we call a Mage who can control other Mages.”
Jason hadn’t heard the term before. “Explain.”
“A Wolf’s mind is resistant. It’s like moving a brick wall. It takes a reasonably powerful Mage to hurt you unless they weaken you first. Our minds are even more difficult. We seem to have a natural defense against each other. It’s impossible for a Mage to collar or control another Mage. We can’t even read each other very well unless we allow it or one is a lot less powerful than the other. Except that a few of us can do the impossible, and they call us Kratos.”
“That’s what you meant when you said your own people are afraid of you?” Jason quit glaring, a thoughtful look replacing his usual scowl. He began to understand my reluctance to discuss my abilities and my recent outburst. My entire race feared me, not just a few Mages.
“Yes. Cassandra and Alexander committed suicide because they were caught between two Kratos. Me and Beatrice.”
“Who is she?” Richard asked, absorbing every bit of information I offered.
“She’s my birth grandmother. She’s the closest thing that the Mages have to a leader, but she’s more of a self-imposed tyrant than anything. Mages either do what she says or get killed or worse. Most stay out of her way entirely. She was Winston’s original owner and the Mage who intended to collar Billie. Something happened and she never came back to claim her. If she or one of the others finds out Winston is free, they’
ll want to know who did it. It takes a powerful Mage to uncollar a Wolf. Not necessary Kratos, but powerful enough to be noticed by one.”
“If they look for Winston, they’ll find the Montana Pack.” Billie saw my dilemma.
I nodded. “And if they read Graham, they’ll know I’m Kratos. I knocked Lief across the kitchen. They’re going to find all of us, but at least I’m here. I can’t be in both places.”
“You kicked a hornet’s nest all right.” Jason told me, irritated but atypically pragmatic.
“A Kratos could decimate them easily and quickly. I owe it to them to do whatever I can to protect them. But I don’t know how from so far away.”
“We’ll find a way. Tell us about these Kratos.” Jason commanded. I’d expected an outburst for causing more problems with the Montana Pack.
You didn’t put them in danger because you were reckless. It happened as a result of saving two Wolves. Billie enlightened me. He respects what you did and accepts your obligation to the Montana Pack as his own.
Jason’s irritation returned with Billie’s mindspeech. “If you have something to say, say it.”
“She explained why you’re not angry that I put the Montana Pack in danger.” I explained hastily and admitted. “I don’t always understand your reactions.”
“Likewise.” He conceded.
I continued “There are four Kratos besides me. All four are obsessed with power and capable of anything. You’ve started questioning your opinion of Mages because of me. But everything you thought was true is true of them, and worse. I’m related to all but one of them. That’s why every Mage problem involves my family. Even the relatives who aren’t Kratos are ruthless and obsessed with power.”
“What danger is the Montana Pack in? How much damage can a Kratos do?” Matthew asked the question I dreaded most in the conversation.
They needed to know, but the answer caught in my throat. My opinion of Matthew had completely flipped during the day. I found it easier to answer him than anyone else, so I locked eyes with the serious Wolf as I admitted, “I could claim their entire pack in a couple of hours if I wanted to. They couldn’t stop me. You’ve been around me enough that you could probably slow me down a little. Not enough to stop me.”
Stunned silence followed my statement, and I regretted saying it. Billie placed her hand on mine. “She’s only being honest.”
Richard’s face shadowed, his voice gruff. “If that’s true, why don’t they do it more often?”
“I don’t think a Kratos killed your mate.” He looked sharply at me, so I assured him. “I’m not reading you, I promise. You get this look on your face. The massacre doesn’t sound like a Kratos. I don’t actually know, but it sounds more like a pet out of control or a Mage with a grudge.”
“I refuse to believe a Kratos is unstoppable. There has to be a way.” Jason declared.
“We have our weaknesses. I’m figuring out my abilities, including my limits and blind spots. It should be the same for any Kratos.”
“You were vulnerable when you uncollared Winston and Bran.” Matthew pointed out one example. To Billie’s surprise, his statement pleased me.
I nodded fervently. “Uncollaring takes a lot of concentration. I bet it’s similar when collaring a Wolf, but to a lesser degree. And when I used magepower miles away like I did the day Amy was attacked. I was more aware of Amy, Billie and Jason than the room in front of me. Then there’s Linda. She slipped right under my nose. If we can figure out how she did that, we can use it on others.”
“I will attempt to discover her methods during my visit.” Kathryn offered.
“Anything that dulls your mind or requires concentration is a weak spot?” Matthew asked, the wheels turning in his head.
“Yes. We have to start training right away.”
“What can we do to help the Montana Pack now that they are drawn into this?” Kathryn asked, worry uncharacteristically showing on her face.
“I don’t know. My hands are tied this far away. Any suggestions?” I asked everyone in front of me.
“We should tell Graham and Stephen enough to keep them alert. Ask them to tell us if they smell a Mage or notice anything out of the ordinary.” Billie suggested.
“Graham won’t have anything to do with Sadie.” Jason reminded us. “He may not tell us, or he may think she’s responsible for it. We can’t count on his cooperation.”
“I can speak to him further when Sierra and I visit. Perhaps he will come around.”
“Stephen seemed more willing to accept Sadie.” Billie mentioned. “He asked me to thank you for freeing Bran.”
Jason eyed the Elder. “Your visit will be an advantage. You can keep an eye on them while you’re there. You’re also in danger from these Kratos with them.”
“I choose to go regardless.” Kathryn declared. “We will devise a way for you to know if something goes wrong and I cannot contact you.”
Richard objected to the developing plan, full Irish lilt emerging with his panic. “Did you not hear Sadie? You can’t fight a Kratos. We’ll only know you’re gone after it happens.”
She spoke fervently to her mate. “Darling, I will not sit idle while my former pack and family are in danger. I can be eyes and ears as well as voice of reason. I stand a chance of convincing Graham to let Sadie help. I willingly take the risk.”
The idea of Kathryn in the hands of a Kratos sickened me. “I don’t like it either, Richard. But if we do this and someone claims her. I’ll get her back. Same with Sierra or any packmate. I swear it.”
Richard looked at me with fear in his eyes, but he wasn’t scared of me. “Can you beat a Kratos?”
“Yes. I was hoping to have a little more time to get used to being a Mage before I have to go up against one of them. But with your help I know I can do it.”
Jason pulled out his phone and dialed Graham’s number. “I doubt we’ll reach them tonight, but it’s worth a try.” It went to voice mail and he left a message. “We’ll call again in the morning. I want both of you present when I talk to him.” He told me and Billie. He looked hard at me, his gaze uncomfortable. He hated the position I’d put him in, and I couldn’t blame him.
“I didn’t know this was going to happen. I can’t undo it. But I’ll do whatever I can to fix it.” He eyed me sternly, and I sensed something from him too vague to define. I’d promised Jason I was no danger to his pack, he’d taken me in and accepted me as a packmate, and I’d put everyone in danger. Billie’s earlier words came back to me. You can’t fix everything. I hoped to prove her wrong this time.
He let me squirm for a bit before responding. “Mages have always threatened us. You brought danger to our doorstep, but we’ll stop it. We always have and we always will. Secrets are not acceptable. I understand your reasons, but I do not accept them. I’m Alpha. Until you come clean with me, we have a problem.” If Jason had erupted, I might have felt better. If he had threatened me, it would have felt normal. Instead he sounded disappointed in me. “No one is to discuss this unless Sadie can shield the conversation. We start training as soon as Sadie has recovered. Kathryn and Sierra will be our eyes and ears in Montana and look for a solution there. Tomorrow we bury our packmate. We’ll discuss it more after that.” He stood without another word and walked out.
I left the shield in place after Jason left. Kathryn’s concerned expression didn’t leave, but she directed it at me. “What troubles you, dearling? You carry a weight you have not spoken yet.”
I didn’t answer right away, and she waited patiently. Billie, too, wanted to hear what haunted me. “Can you guys give me a minute alone with Matthew?”
The request surprised Billie more than anyone. One by one they headed inside until only Billie and Matthew remained. I took my mate’s hand and squeezed gently. “You too, love. I need to do this without his Beta and without my mate.”
She thought she understood and left me alone with the pack’s right hand, the Wolf who tried to kill me a couple weeks earlier
and protected me that day. Matthew, too, thought he knew what I wanted to talk about. “We’ll train. But I won’t hunt you so long as you’re scared of me.”
I met his eyes and smiled sadly. No one in the house could hear us. “You saw my weakness for what it was today. An opportunity.”
“You’re Pack. I won’t try to kill you again.”
“You would if you had to. Matthew I’m scared, but not of you. Not anymore. The other Kratos will come sooner or later. I have to stop them or people I love will die or worse. I can do it, but I’m afraid of what I’ll become if I use that much magepower. The power of a Kratos is different from other Mages. It’s changing me. It never completely goes away. It feels like something is rotting inside of me, and every time I use magepower it grows a little. You saw me today. I’m fighting it. Pack is keeping me from losing myself. But if I lose this battle, I will become just as dangerous as the other Kratos. I will hurt everyone I love. I need to go into this knowing they’ll be safe. From me.” I paused and looked worriedly at the house where so many that I cared about waited for me.
“What exactly are you asking of me?” He understood but insisted I spell it out.
I didn’t want to say it, but something like this couldn’t be left undefined. “I need you to train with me, harder than anyone. I’m asking you to learn how to defeat a Kratos, just in case I become the danger. If I lose myself, I want you to kill me. I’d rather die than be like that.”
He looked confused, a strange expression for him. “Why would you trust me with this?”
“You protect the pack, no matter what. You don’t hesitate or rationalize. Emotions don’t cloud your judgment, and you don’t put friendship before the pack’s needs. You’re the only one here that won’t hesitate to do what’s necessary. Even Jason will hesitate for Billie’s sake.”
“You don’t have to ask me to do this. I guard the pack from any threat.”
“I know, and I almost didn’t ask. I’m asking you to stop me even if I don’t threaten the pack. Don’t let me walk away and hurt others. Billie will never give up on me, and I need her to believe in me. If she knows, she’ll stop you. You can’t tell her or anyone. If it goes that far and you survive, tell Billie and the others it was my choice. Tell them everything.”
Psyche Shield Page 27
