Chapter Fourteen
A couple of hours later, Amy walked with Joss along the top terrace and down the steps to the Ashby Tallant gardens. There were four terraces in all, flanked by huge cedar trees, each with their own name and character. The top garden, nearest the house was the most formal; the bottom one, the wilderness garden, was an overgrown Eden with medieval fishponds and tumbling walls.
‘I played here as a boy,’ Joss said, tracing the lines on a stone-carved sundial as they stood in the central grassy court and looked at the tangled profusion all around. ‘It was an exciting place for a child.’ He gestured to a stone bench under the shade of a weeping willow. ‘Shall we sit?’
Amy sat down. She was feeling strangely shy and it did not help that the only conversation between them since they had left the house had been of the most formal kind. She had wondered if Joss had just been waiting for a little privacy, waiting for the opportunity to rebuke her for coming to Ashby Tallant and having the audacity to set his circumstances before the Marquis. She wondered if he was angry and could not tell. The amber gaze, the living replica of the portraits on the wall, was as inscrutable as he had always been. She wished it was not so. She could not stand the uncertainly.
‘Are you angry with me?’ she burst out, when she could stand it no longer. Her fingers plucked nervously at the cambric of her dress. ‘I am sorry, Joss, but I felt I had to come.’
Joss took her hand in his and her words dried on her lips. The look in his eyes was tender and rueful.
‘Amy, I might wish that you did not rush so precipitately towards doing what you think is right, but I cannot be angry with you.’ He smiled a little. ‘Indeed, now that I am in a fair way to establishing a better understanding with my father, I suppose I should be grateful to you! It will take a little time for us to be on better terms, but we have made a beginning.’
Amy felt a rush of relief. ‘I am glad that you were able to speak with him,’ she said shyly. She moved a little closer to him. ‘He was very kind to me, Joss. I like him very much.’
‘He likes you,’ Joss said drily. ‘He told me that he would disown me for good this time if I let you slip through my fingers. But we will talk of that presently. I wanted to tell you first that Lady Spry’s letters are safe and that I have returned them to her. I believe she has nothing further to fear in that quarter.’
Amy let go of his hand, but only so that she could throw her arms about him. ‘Oh, how did you manage that?’
Joss released himself, laughing. ‘It was not difficult.’ The light went out of his face. ‘It was Juliana who had the letters, not Massingham.’
‘Juliana!’ Amy frowned. She sat back. ‘But Amanda was sure that Massingham had them.’
Joss shifted uncomfortably. ‘You may have guessed that Juliana is Massingham’s mistress. She had found the letters and used them for her own ends. As soon as you told me the tale, I suspected her. She has tried to pull such a trick before, you see.’ He looked Amy in the eye. ‘Juliana loves Massingham and she has been very unhappy. Do not judge her too harshly, Amy. For my sake, I beg you do not.’ He took a deep breath. ‘We could all have made things so very different for her.’
‘Your father said as much to me,’ Amy said softly. ‘I cannot judge her, Joss. If all is well and Amanda is safe, those are the only things that truly matter to me.’
Joss’s expression lightened. ‘Lady Spry is very well. I left her discussing the remove to Nettlecombe with your mama. And Juliana is leaving for the continent for a space. I will tell you the whole in a little while, Amy, but I would rather speak of happier things.’
‘There is one thing I have to ask first,’ Amy said softly. ‘Did you tell your father that the blackmailer was Juliana?’
Joss nodded. ‘It is only fair that he knows the whole. Then, when the time comes for him to be reconciled with Juliana, there will be no secrets.’
‘I hope that will be soon,’ Amy said. There was a lump in her throat and she bit her lip to prevent the tears. ‘Oh, I do hope so…’
‘I hope so too.’ Joss pulled her to her feet. ‘Enough of this doom and gloom! May we speak on something I hope will be a happier subject?’
Amy nodded wordlessly. He was looking very serious. Her heart started to race.
‘I have your brother’s permission to pay my addresses to you, Amy,’ Joss said formally. ‘However, it is your good opinion that I value the most. If you consent to accept my proposal I shall be the happiest man alive, but I think that you should be very certain you are doing the right thing—’
Amy pressed her fingers against his lips, effectively silencing him. She tugged on his hand and he came to sit down beside her on the bench again.
‘Joss, I must know why you are so persistent in trying to make me refuse you.’
She saw the laughter creep into his eyes, warm as sunshine, banishing the cold doubt there.
‘Amy, you once told me that you detested gamblers and that your greatest happiness was when you won your money and achieved the security you craved.’ Joss’s fingers, long and strong, interlocked tightly with hers. ‘You would be a fool to throw all that away to bind yourself to a man who embodies all that you despised—’
This time Amy silenced him with a kiss. ‘Joss, it is not folly, it is love.’ She freed herself and sat back a little so that she could see his face. ‘I confess that at first I disliked you for your reputation—’
‘No, you held me in contempt. That is far, far worse.’
‘If you prefer.’ Amy smiled slightly. ‘Alas for me, my dislike was soon undermined by the pleasure that I took in your company. I was slow to realise it and when I tried to pull back it was too late.’ Her voice sank to a whisper. ‘I did not wish to avoid you. When I thought that I should not see you again it was the most dreadful torment.’
Joss pulled her close. He pressed his lips to her hair. ‘Amy, you know I am a wastrel—’
‘Stuff and nonsense! You do not gamble to excess and anyway, you always win! You told me so yourself!’
Joss gave a muffled groan. ‘You know that makes no difference. Besides, I have been a rake.’
‘Yes—’ Amy raised her face to his ‘—but I shall be happy if you confine your attentions to me in future. Indeed, I have been hoping to see evidence of your rakish tendencies for I fear they have been overrated.’
Joss bent his head until his lips touched hers. ‘I will let you be the judge of that. I do believe that you have disposed of all my objections, Amy.’
He made to kiss her properly, but Amy drew away from him. ‘I have some concerns of my own, Joss. I mean that there are matters about which I feel you should be concerned…’
‘Oh?’ There was a light in his eyes now that made her heart skip a beat. ‘What are they, my love? Can it be that your gambling is a far greater obsession than I had previously thought?’
‘No…’ Amy smiled despite herself, and then hesitated. ‘It is simply that…I feel that I should be counselling you to think very carefully. You always said that you were wary of marriage, Joss, and I could not bear it if you were to find that it did not suit you after we were wed…’
Her hand was against his chest and she could feel the steady beat of his heart against her palm. It felt strong and reassuring.
‘Amy!’ Joss drew her to him again and this time she allowed herself to go. ‘It is true that until recently I had absolutely no wish to marry. I could not imagine a time when I should ever feel differently. Worse, I dreaded sitting at one end of this cold mausoleum of a house whilst my wife inhabited a set of rooms as far away from me as possible. It seemed so bleak.’ He smiled at her. ‘Then I met you. At first I had no notion that I was falling in love with you. I knew that I enjoyed talking to you and found your company stimulating. I thought that there was no more to it than that, but…’ he shook his head ‘…fool that I was, I did not realise that I was already in love.’
Amy made an inarticulate noise and pressed closer to him. She sl
id her arms about his waist and pressed her cheek against his jacket.
‘Oh, Joss, that is by far the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me! I have always been so plain and shy, and had no admirers—’
‘That,’ Joss said, tilting her chin up so that he could kiss her gently, ‘is the most blatant fishing for a compliment that I have heard in a very long time! Let me oblige. For almost the whole time I knew you, I found myself looking at you and thinking how beautiful you were, Amy. You did not need the lottery money to buy pretty clothes.’
This time they kissed with rather more fervour and less gentleness.
‘Besides,’ Joss finished, ‘if I discover that any other man has been professing himself in love with you, I fear I should have to call him out!’
‘There is always poor Bertie Hallam,’ Amy said thoughtfully. ‘Proposing to me has become such a habit of his that I hope he may soon find another object for his gallantry!’
‘He should confine his attentions to his cards,’ Joss said callously, ‘and then perhaps he might start winning!’
He drew Amy’s arm through his and turned towards the steps. ‘Come, let us go and tell my father the good news. I am happy that at last I have fulfilled one of his expectations!’
They were married two months later in the chapel at Ashby Tallant. Sir Richard Bainbridge gave the bride away and Amanda, Lady Spry, was matron-of-honour. The Duke of Fleet acted as groomsman and Lady Bainbridge graciously accepted the escort of the Marquis of Tallant to the wedding feast, where she was seen slipping several large slices of ham into her reticule to consume later. Mrs Benfleet travelled from Windsor in the Bainbridge carriage and Mrs Wendover and her children came from Whitechapel, travelling in the Tallant carriage, which miraculously kept all its wheels even whilst waiting in the street in Whitechapel.
Later, when the guests had departed, the bridal suite had been prepared for the happy couple and Lady Bainbridge had imparted some words of maternal wisdom to her daughter, Amy was finally left in peace to contemplate her wedding night.
Although she had spent a large part of the previous three months in Joss’s company, she felt apprehensive and suddenly a little shy. As the wedding day had approached and the bustle of preparation had taken over it had been so difficult to hold on to the things that were really important. Even her charitable ventures had been curtailed through the necessary evils of dress fitting and consultations with Lady Bainbridge about the menu for the wedding breakfast. It felt to Amy as though there had been a buzz of activity about her for as long as she could remember and now all was suddenly silence.
Not quite silence. She could hear the sound of Joss’s voice in the next room as he spoke quietly to his valet. Soon he would be joining her. Her head ached with the tension. The huge, opulent bedroom seemed unbearably stuffy.
She scrambled from the bed and flung up the window, leaning out and inhaling the fresh, summer air. It was not quite dark and a tiny crescent moon was rising above the lime avenue. The breeze caressed her face. Amy closed her eyes and felt a little of her tension evaporate.
‘Amy?’
Amy jumped and almost hit her head on the window. She had not heard the connecting door open but now Joss was standing just behind her, the light burnishing his hair to dark bronze and shadowing his eyes. Amy felt her throat go dry. She swallowed hard.
‘Oh. Joss. I…I did not hear you. I needed some fresh air. I have the headache.’
As soon as she said it she realised how lame it sounded, as though she were having second thoughts about her wedding night. Panic and shyness gripped her but, before she could blurt out that she did not mean to send him away, Joss had taken her hand, drawing her gently towards him.
‘There is a balcony in the other bedroom. Let us go outside for a little. It has been an unconscionably long and tiring day.’
Grateful for his understanding, Amy went with him through the dressing room and into another, much smaller bedroom where one candle still burned. Joss drew back the heavy curtains and opened the long windows. A breath of wind stirred the wall hangings and set the candle flame dancing. They went out on to the balcony. Immediately the cool twilight wrapped about them.
The moon was riding high above the trees and the first of the stars were coming out now. The cupola on the top of the great hall was outlined in black against a midnight blue sky. Amy stared entranced at the parkland, spread out before them in the fading light.
‘Oh! It is so beautiful! It makes me feel quite wild! I want to run downstairs and out of the doors and across the grass in the moonlight—’
‘Perhaps we may do that tomorrow night,’ Joss said, a smile in his voice, ‘and scandalise the servants.’
Amy sighed. ‘Yes, I suppose…For tonight it would not be at all the thing. But I do thank you, Joss, for not going all stuffy and saying that that would be most unseemly and that I must always act with a decorum that becomes a Countess.’
Joss pulled her into his arms with a swiftness that took her breath away. ‘Amy, if you wish to run barefoot through the gardens clad only in your shift you shall not find me far behind!’
Amy turned her blushing face against his chest. ‘Thank you. So…’ she felt brave enough to address the subject on her mind ‘…how is this difficult matter of our wedding night to be managed? I feel a little self-conscious—’
‘How is it to be managed?’ Joss loosened his grip a little, holding her at arm’s length so that his gaze could sweep over her comprehensively from her bare feet to her tumbling hair. ‘Like this, I imagine…’
Before Amy was aware of what he was about, he had swept her up into his arms and carried her through the open windows, laying her on the tester bed. With one swift move he had drawn her silky dressing robe away from her. ‘I suspect that you will soon forget your difficulties…’
‘Yes, but—’ Amy struggled to sit up. ‘The bridal bed is all prepared in the other room—’
‘We shall go back in there presently. This will do perfectly well in the meantime.’
‘Oh, but—’ Amy lost the thread of her thoughts as Joss stripped off his own robe. In the candlelight his body was hard and lean and it was plain to see that he was aroused. Amy, whose experience of such matters was nil, felt her self-consciousness return even as something inside her responded to him.
‘Joss, I am feeling even more apprehensive now,’ she said in a tiny voice.
Joss smiled. He joined her on the bed, stretching out beside her and resting one hand gently on her stomach. Amy could feel the warmth of it through her gauzy nightdress and felt a delicious squirmy sensation inside.
‘There is no need to be afraid, Amy,’ Joss said softly. ‘I swear I shall do nothing that you do not want.’
‘It is not so much that I do not want it,’ Amy said, eyes wide, ‘simply that I am not sure how it will work.’
‘Then it is best not to worry and just see what happens.’ Joss’s voice was as soothing as honey wine. Amy could feel herself letting go—at the same time as part of her was feeling very tense and excited indeed.
‘Very well, I shall try…’
Joss bent and kissed her throat and she could not help the tremor that went through her. His hand slid to her hip, and she shivered again, eyes closing. When he started to unlace her nightdress she opened her eyes, but before she could speak he had silenced her with his lips on hers. The kiss was gentle but there was something hot beneath its sweetness. Amy wriggled, running her fingers into Joss’s hair, holding him closer. She heard him groan against her mouth, then the kiss deepened and became hard and hungry, and she was swept with the most intoxicating sensual excitement she had ever felt.
‘Oh, that is so very agreeable…’
Amy had not noticed when her nightdress had fallen open, freeing her breasts to Joss’s touch. Now she arched against him as she felt his fingers brush one rosy nipple, circling, caressing. Then the nightdress came away altogether and she felt the warmth and hardness of Joss’s naked body ag
ainst her own, his hands pulling her closer still, and thought she might faint from sheer pleasure.
‘Joss!’
Joss’s eyes had darkened with desire and now he kissed her again with a concentrated passion. Amy knew instinctively that he was very close to losing control and the knowledge made her feel wicked and excited and powerful. Eagerly she returned kiss for searing kiss, sliding her hands over the strong muscles of his back, digging her fingers into his shoulders.
His hands and lips moved over her, provoking a blazing sensual awareness in her as they lingered on her breasts. Amy had long ago ceased to be afraid, ceased to think, wanting only the necessary consummation of all her desires. She shivered as she felt Joss’s hand on her thigh, his fingers stroking the soft skin before he moved to touch her with an intimacy that was shocking but exquisitely exciting. Her mouth formed a silent ‘oh’ of pleasure and longing and he repeated the caress, moving on top of her, sliding one leg between hers. Amy squirmed, desperate to appease the delicious ache inside.
Joss took her face between both his hands. ‘Sweetheart, I love you. I will try not to hurt you—’
As soon as the words were out his hands moved to her hips and he captured her mouth with his in an urgent kiss. He slid into her and smothered her instinctive gasp with his lips on hers.
The shock was enough to shake Amy out of the sensual trance that possessed her, but then Joss was kissing her again lingeringly, bending his head to her breasts with exquisite patience and skill, moving in long slow strokes that quickly built up the excitement to fever pitch again. Amy gasped and clung to him and felt his body go taut within her and watched his face as he took her, and the sheer excitement and the knowing pushed her over the edge, to shatter into a hundred shimmering pieces before she floated slowly down to earth. She lay entangled in Joss’s arms, feeling his heart rate slow down and the sweat cool on their skin and she thought, He is mine, now and for always. Her heart swelled with love and she burrowed closer to his warmth and fell asleep.
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