He didn’t promise me. As a matter of fact, he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, slipping his hands into the pockets of his True Religion jeans, and giving me the same disdain look that he gave me back when he told me that he was never leaving Aeysha.
“You’re so worried about avenging her death, but what about me?! What about me as I raise your daughter and hold you down? WHAT ABOUT ME?!”
Anger sent me flying back down the hallway, stomping like a heavy woman. On the inside, I scolded myself for not being better, for not being good enough to take his mind off of her. But on the outside I cried sad and sorrowful tears.
Omari came after me. He entered the office right after me and put his arms around me.
Omari kissed my cheek. When his lips left my face, they were wet with my tears.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he told me as he wiped my face with the palm of his hands. “I was with her seven years though. That’s the mother of my child. I can’t let him get away with it. I can’t look at Dahlia every day knowing that I didn’t do shit about her mother’s murder. I would do the same for you.”
Chance
After calling Simone’s cell with no answer for days, there was finally a knock on my motel room door.
I figured it was her. She was the only person that knew what room number I was in. I’d given it to her a few days ago when she was suppose to be bringing me some bread.
My cash was dwindling fast. Soon, I wouldn’t be able to afford to pay for the shitty hotel that I was staying in. I had barely eaten anything that day. I had even resorted to looking for a job because things were getting so tight.
We had to do something. I was in this predicament strictly because of Simone and she was gone fix this shit.
When I opened the door, this bitch had the nerve to smile at me. I couldn’t believe the size balls this bitch had. It was crazy how just last year, I was drooling over her, ready to kill and did kill for her, and now, when I laid eyes on her, I questioned her sanity.
She had to be crazy to think that there was anything to smile about.
I turned around and left her standing in the doorway.
“Urgh. Well, hello to you too, Chance.”
This was my first time seeing her since the day I left for Minnesota. She’d changed in ways that money could only help somebody change. Her hair was expensive. Her clothes were luxury. I recognized the Lexus keys and new body.
“Murder looks damn good on you.”
She stood leaning against the desk as I sat on the bed. She had the nerve to give me this flirtatious smile. It was the same smile that I use to fall for.
“You got some money?”
She looked hurt that I got straight to the point.
“Chance.” She was sweetly singing my name in a flirtatious moan as she switched towards me. Then Simone sat beside me on the bed; immediately laying her soft hands on my exposed leg. She pushed my basketball shorts up until my dick fell out of them.
“Naw.” I shook my head and immediately pushed her away. That was the bullshit she’d done to sway me in the first place; grabbing my dick, holding me, and touching me like she was going to eventually give me the pussy. “Don’t try to play me, man!!”
“Chance, calm down.”
Anger consumed me so much that I jumped to my feet. “Naw, fuck that! I’m starving, man. I’m out here in these streets with nothing while you driving clean and rocking fucking Gucci bags!” I smacked her purse so hard that it fell off of the coffee table and onto the floor. “Stop playing with me! I killed that…”
“Shut up!” Suddenly, Simone looked possessed. She jumped to her feet and stood staring me face to face. Her eyes popped out of her head and her jaws clenched. She was no longer the sweet chick willing to fuck me. She was the vicious bitch that planned a murder with me. That’s the bitch I wanted to see because that’s the bitch that owed me, more than money, but her life, cause I put mine on the line for her.
“Be quiet before somebody hears you! These damn walls are thin as paper.”
I slowed down. I didn’t want to piss her off so bad that she went home without giving me some money. I eased up. I played her role. I played it phony. “What am I suppose to do, Simone? I’m broke.”
After picking up her purse from the floor, she reached in it and handed me an envelope.
“How much is this?”
She nonchalantly replied, “A thousand dollars.”
My heart sank. With disgust, I threw the envelope on the bed. “I can’t live off of this.”
“What do you expect me to do? I gave you twenty-five thousand dollars, Chance!”
“Them niggas stole my shit!” I was damn near in tears. I couldn’t do shit with a grand but live for another month.
I was straight. Before I killed Aeysha, I was good. Though I was broke and unhappy in transitional housing, I had a free roof over my head that I stupidly gave away because this bitch promised me twenty-five grand attached to a future with her.
“I don’t have anything to do with that. We had a deal and I fulfilled my end of the bargain.”
“Really, you didn’t,” I told her as I walked towards her. Poking her in her chest as I pointed at her, I added, “You never came to Minnesota.”
“I had to find a job! Apparently that was a must since you couldn’t flip twenty-five grand!”
“So that’s it? You just gone leave me out here like this? Where am I suppose to live? I can’t even go back to transitional housing.”
“I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”
That sounded like a lie.
I looked over her expensive attire and jewelry and knew that she had to be living somewhere comfortably.
“Why can’t I come stay with you?”
“Chance, I wish you could. I really do. I hate seeing you in this motel,” she said frowning in disgust as she looked around. “But we cannot be linked together in this city.”
“They aren’t even investigating her murder.”
“The investigation is still ongoing, Chance. Whether they have any leads is a different story.”
Simone continued to fill the stale cigarette poisoned air with lies. As she promised me that she would fix everything, that she would help me find a job and a place to stay, I saw straight through her lies. This bitch had played me. Every second that this realization danced at the forefront of my mind, I felt stupid as hell.
She even hugged me and told me that everything would be okay, while also saying that she had to leave. She had to leave and go get in her fancy car and go to what was most likely a nice warm crib while I sat in that motel room figuring out how the fuck I was going to eat.
Gia
“Hello?”
I was standing in the mirror in the dressing room taking singles from various places on my body and putting them inside of my Michael Kors book bag that I planned to lock inside of my locker.
After checking my cell phone and seeing that I missed five of Rae’s call, I decided to call her back.
Things had been great for the past few days. Rae was staying in a hotel and begging me to let her come back home. I wasn’t budging. I felt the best that I had felt in years. I felt free and like I could do what the fuck I wanted to. I was given the space to realize that I didn’t want Rae anymore.
She’d given me the best excuse to use to leave this relationship when she hit me.
She had the nerve to greet me like nothing was wrong. “Hey, baby.”
Instantly, my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I fixed my hair in the full length mirror.
“What’s up, Rae? I’m at work,” I spoke dryly.
“Why are you acting like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like you don’t give a fuck about me anymore.”
“I give a fuck about you.”
“Then let me come back home.”
“Now that is what I don’t give a fuck about.”
After smacking her lips and sighing dramatically,
Rae swore, “I am so sorry, baby. I can’t believe I put my hands on you.”
“Rae, I have to go…”
I could hear her tears beginning to flow as she replied, “Please forgive me, baby…”
“I have to go, Rae.”
I ended the call before she could say anything else, threw my iPhone in my locker, along with my tips, and locked the combination lock.
Though it was a Tuesday night, the club was still thick with niggas, bitches, money, and smoke. I’d just gotten off of the stage, so I was working the crowd when I spotted the same guy that I chatted it up with last week that got me socked in the eye.
Rae punched me because I had the nerve to talk to another man in her face. She can act like it was because I was talking about leaving her, but I knew better.
For the first time in our relationship, it appeared as if I was into somebody else. And for the first time in our relationship, she hit me. Two plus two equals a jealous bitch.
I could still feel the soreness around my eye. Thankfully, no remnants of the black eye could be seen through a hell of a lot of concealer and Mac Studio Fix.
“Hey you.”
When Chance looked up at me, it took him a minute to recognize me.
“Gia,” I reminded him.
“Oh, yea! What’s up, girl? You here to drink up some more of my liquor?”
As I took it upon myself to rest my butt in the only other seat at his table, I replied jokingly, “Oh, you’re too kind! Thanks for offering.”
Five
Chance
Everything was a blur. After two bottles of Don Julio, I could barely see straight as me and Gia left the truck stop.
I thought that putting food on my stomach would sober me up. But as I slid into the passenger seat of her 300, I fought the urge to throw up. Gia was pretty fucked up too. I could feel the car swerving a little bit as she jumped on the e-way.
“You need me to drive?”
She looked at me like I was out of my mind. “Yea right. I’m not trying to die tonight.” Then she giggled.
Gia was fine as hell. That’s all I thought about all night as I let her drink up most of my gawd damn liquor. I hadn’t chilled with a female in a long time. Since killing Aeysha, most of my time had been consumed with laying low and figuring out how I was going to live.
Not only was Gia gorgeous, but she had good conversation. Unfortunately, I was always so drunk when I talked to her that I told her all of my business. Surprisingly, after finding out how broke, homeless, and fucked up I was, she kept talking to me and chilled with me even longer this time around. That night, she drank for fun, but I was drinking out of anger. I enjoyed Gia’s company, but thoughts of Simone were playing over and over again in my mind like a movie. Every time I remembered her smiling and flirting with me, I took a shot. Every time I thought about her convincing me how Aeysha needed to be killed, I took a shot. Every time I remembered hearing Aeysha’s pregnant and blood curdling screams, I took a shot. I wondered if her baby lived, and I took a double shot.
I was fucked up.
“We’re closer to my crib than yours. I am barely making it,” Gia confessed while fighting hard to keep the car from swerving into the next lane.
“I told you I could drive.”
“And I said I wanted to live. Do you have to go home tonight?”
“To the motel? Hell naw.”
We both laughed.
“Cool. We’re going to my crib then.”
That didn’t sound bad at all. I was so ready to sleep in a bed with a soft mattress. Hell, she could have put me on the couch for all I gave a fuck. It would have been better than that bullshit bed that I had been sleeping in for two weeks.
However, when we got to her crib on the Southwest side, she didn’t make me sleep on the couch. She led me through the house by the hand, but we both kept each other from falling over our drunken feet. It was six in the morning. The sun was coming up. So once she got in the bedroom, I was able to peep a few pictures of her and another nigga... or a chick… I couldn’t really tell since I was so wasted. But then she drew the curtains that totally blocked out the sun.
She threw me off when she began to take her clothes off. I figured she was too drunk to realize that she was about to sleep in her underwear next to a complete stranger.
When I lay down fully dressed, she shrieked. “Uh huh! Get out of my bed in them clothes you been keeping in that nasty ass motel.”
I laughed. “Damn, it’s like that?”
“Yup,” she said with a laugh. “Take them clothes off.”
As I stripped, I told her, “I can sleep on the couch, you know.”
“Boy, you already been sleeping in a motel. Enjoy this bed while you can.”
I was all too prepared to go to sleep. I wasn’t even trying to push up on shorty. But as soon as we lay down, she spooned with me. She laid across my chest and wrapped her leg around mine. Instantly, my dick got hard and lay up against her leg.
With a flirtatious giggle, she asked, “Damn. That’s all you?”
I matched her giggle. “What’s that mean?”
In response, she took her hand and rubbed it up and down my dick.
“Gawd damn,” slipped from her mouth.
She was drunk. I knew it. But I also knew that I had never had anyone as beautiful as she was ever this close to me. I didn’t fight her. I let the liquor persuade her to do whatever she wanted to do to me.
Suddenly, my dick was her playground. It wasn’t even about me. She saw the dick and just wanted it. She jagged it and played with it like it was a new toy. I just lay there trying to sober up enough to fuck her if that’s what she wanted.
For the second time in twenty-four hours, a bad ass chick was trying to feel my dick. I was actually feeling this chick, though. I hadn’t had pussy in forever, so when Gia went from playing with it to sucking it, I fought the urge to bust too quickly in her mouth.
Simone
I sat on my bed in my condo trying to stop the tears.
I stared in disbelief at the email from Tre displayed in the Gmail app in my iPhone. He’d told me time and time again that he loved his wife. He told me time and time again that he would never be with me. Our time had ended, and I was now with somebody that loved me. But reading the words that day still hurt because behind the extensions, behind the new body, behind my relationship with Omari, I knew he was right.
In response to my hateful email that I sent him yesterday, Tre told me that I would never be anything more than a desperate side bitch. He told me that his wife’s beauty outshined mine beyond anything that my small brain could ever fathom. He said that I was so incompetent of having anything of my own that I wasn’t even raising my own baby. He said that I probably only now had my own man because the woman that he really loved was dead.
I sat in the middle of my bed with tears streaming down my face, flowing onto my neck, and falling onto my chest. I was paralyzed with the heart wrenching realization that, even though Tre wasn’t even inside of my relationship to know the difference, he was right.
I had gone such lengths to get a man that still had his mind on the love of his life. He was still wrapped up in the thought of her, especially since her likeness lived with us every day, twenty-four seven. I still had little significance. There was nothing tying us together. No love. No history. Just commitment that I borrowed off of his woman’s dead body.
I quickly wiped my face when I heard Omari’s keys in the door. He often spent some nights at my condo since it was downtown. It felt like he was getting away from the city and the block when he was at my place. Of course, Dahlia was with him. I could hear her cooing as he made his way into the condo.
“Babe?”
“I’m back here.”
I quickly left the bed and moved to the mirror to ensure that my face didn’t show evidence of my tears. But no matter how much I blotted the dreariness away with press powder and wiped it away with blush and lip-gloss, Omari could see that some
thing wasn’t right.
“Hey, baby.” I greeted him in the middle of the floor. After setting Dahlia’s car seat down on the bed, he hugged me and kissed me softly on the lips.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Again, tears began to form in my eyes uncontrollably. No matter how much I wanted to front and act like this was my man that loved me unconditionally, I knew damn well that his love came with an expensive price that I paid just to end up still feeling worthless and insignificant.
“I’m pregnant.”
Those words emerged from my lips so effortlessly that it scared me. I feared myself. I feared the lengths that I would go to get rid of this feeling of not being good enough.
I knew that he wouldn’t be happy about it. Dahlia was only three months, and he had already told me that we couldn’t have kids for some years. But I needed that validity. I needed that importance. I needed that connection with him that gave me the same level of significance as Aeysha and Dahlia.
It was time for me to create that history and life with him that would take away this insecure feeling. I was always a “by any means necessary” kind of bitch, and I was not going to stop until I was Aeysha and Erica.
I only hoped that now that he thought I was pregnant, he would ejaculate into me freely and I would eventually really be pregnant. I saw how he changed when Aeysha got pregnant. I saw how his devotion for family changed how he loved her, and I knew that it would be the same for me.
Omari
“You’re what?”
I’d heard Simone loud and clear, but I just wanted to be sure that this bullshit was really happening.
“I’m pregnant,” she told me with sadness. “I know you’re upset. I know you don’t want any more kids right now, baby. But I’m pregnant. I took a test at work.”
This was bad timing; real bad fucking timing. My mind wasn’t on other kids right now. Between the block and Dahlia, I had a hard enough time focusing on Simone.
“How many weeks are you?”
Secrets of a Side Bitch 2 Page 5
