‘I did. A thousand times. You never miss book group. You never don’t answer.’
Chloe pulled her phone out of her bag. It was switched to silent mode. And with a long line of missed calls and texts getting more and more frantic. ‘I see, yes. I must have, er, left it on silent.’ While I got cosy with Vaughn Brooks in the back room of his restaurant.
‘So where were you?’ It was Jenna. This time a little more intent than before. ‘We were worried sick. I mean, really, really worried. I thought you were—oh, Chloe, you have no idea what was going through my head.’
Sadly, Chloe did. She remembered the day Jenna’s husband hadn’t come home. How her sister had sat, white-faced and numb waiting for information, as if she knew, deep down, that he wasn’t coming back. Jenna had the same look on her face now. The one that said she knew bad things happened, that this had been a hard reality for her, not a little inconsequential flirtation. The look begged her not to send her world into another devastating tailspin.
Chloe felt guilt shimmy through her. The poor woman had been through enough, small wonder she panicked out of proportion. She would explain it all to her sister in private. Later.
Chloe looked at them all in turn and tried for a smile. ‘Hey, can’t a girl go out without being subject to an interrogation?’
Eight pairs of eyes blinked back at her as if she were completely out of her mind. ‘No,’ they all replied in unison.
‘Maybe she was on a booty call.’ Mrs Singh nudged Chloe’s mum and giggled. ‘Naughty girl.’
‘Not our Chloe. She wouldn’t do that.’ Her mum patted the policeman’s hand, almost spilling his tea, which Chloe was absolutely sure her mum must have made because that was what she did. Manners maketh a man, girls. Sadly, keeping daughter’s love lives private didn’t make a woman. ‘She’s a good girl, despite what the papers say. She’s tried Timber, but it didn’t work out. And so Jenna’s set up this internet dating thing—I don’t think anything will come of it. Not in the long run, anyway. Unlucky in love we are; we’re cursed. Sorry to have been a bother. Thank you for coming so quickly.’
The officers stood in sync, shaking their heads and rolling their eyes. The female one gave a wry smile, and now that Chloe thought about it, she seemed vaguely familiar. ‘Yes, well, we make it a priority to come out for single women. Especially ones with form. Now, have a good evening. And, Chloe, do your family a favour and check in with them every now and then. It makes all of our lives a lot easier.’
The thumping in her chest got harder. ‘Form? You said I had form? What does that mean?’
‘Previous. You know, you’re known to us, Miss Cassidy.’ She leant in and winked. ‘From the church? The assault on the best man? Best call out I’d had in a while, that was.’
‘I see.’ Chloe felt the heat in her cheeks burning like a beacon. ‘I thought it wasn’t on record.’
‘Oh, no, it’s not, not officially anyway. But we do have very good memories.’ They walked to the door. ‘Have a good evening.’
That was unlikely. Bad enough to be reminded about The Jilting all over again, and her humiliation, and Vaughn Brooks and the bouquet, but there would be more questions now. And the only people better at interrogation than the police were a group of bored women, two glasses of wine down and with very vivid imaginations.
‘Now, to the nitty-gritty, Chloe. Jenna tells us you had a date? And it was from that internet?’ Their mum had a habit of clarifying things loudly. ‘Who was he? If he didn’t abduct you, then how did it go?’
‘He was nice. He has a dog. He just wasn’t my type. He was quite a lot older than me too.’
‘Sugar daddy. Yum.’ Mrs Singh again. That woman was incorrigible. She fixed Mum in her sights. ‘You should do this internet thing, Bridget. You’re always on about the Cassidy curse, but it’s just plain rubbish. You need to find a decent man and keep a tight hold of him. You all do.’
Their mum folded her arms and pursed her lips. Never a good sign. ‘It’s not as easy as all that.’
‘Phooey. You brought that curse on yourself, Bridget. Graham wasn’t all bad. Maybe you should have tried to work things out with him instead of kicking him out. I said so at the time… you could have talked to someone, a counsellor… a priest… marriage… guidance.’ Mrs Singh came to slow halt.
And the room began to spin.
Mum’s face was fuchsia pink as she fussed around with her bag. ‘Well, it’s been an interesting evening. I’ll be going now.’
Faith, Saskia and Kat stared, open-mouthed. Because, like Jenna and Chloe, they’d all heard time and again, at countless book groups when discussing romances with lovely hopeful endings, about poor Mrs Cassidy’s curse. About the wonderful husband that had died a premature death and left her with two little ones to deal with. About her broken heart. About her loneliness and her struggles.
Never, not once, had she mentioned that she’d kicked him out.
Chloe tried to keep her voice level, but emotion spilt around her words. ‘Mum?’
‘Early start tomorrow.’ Flustered and turning from pink to scarlet, Mum stood, grabbed her bag and made her way through the chairs and the people and the bags of books towards the door. ‘There’s some work to be done on that dress before Friday.’
‘Mum!’ Jenna now. ‘You can’t. You just can’t go. Not now.’
Mum turned to face them, slowly now, every inch the tired and lonely fifty-eight-year-old. She glared at Mrs Singh, who shook her head and looked away. Then she stared at each woman in turn. She looked guilt-ridden but cowed too.
She’d lied for twenty-eight years. Almost three decades of untruths, of Chloe and Jenna believing something that simply wasn’t true: that their mum and dad had had a fairy-tale marriage. That he’d been The One. That no one would ever compare with Graham Cassidy. That there was a Cassidy curse that meant they would never be married or happy or both. But that true love existed. Something pure, ethereal and perfect.
It was the foundation for Something Borrowed.
It was all lies.
Mum straightened, and her voice was calm. ‘He was having an affair. It wasn’t the first, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. He didn’t like being a family man. He didn’t want the responsibility of two little girls. Oh, he adored you, but he didn’t want to be the one who fed and clothed you, who had to be serious about your future. I put up with it for two years, and then one day I looked at you both, and I thought what example am I showing them? That you lie down and take it? Or that you stand up and fight? I didn’t know how much you understood. And he made it clear he wasn’t going to help out. I told him to choose between me and her. You’re on yer own, he said. And he went.’
Chloe’s mouth was dry, and she realised her hands were shaking. ‘But why lie? Why not tell us the truth about being a strong woman and kicking him out?’
‘You were so little. I didn’t want to burst that lovely bubble of adoration.’
‘But you said he’d died when he hadn’t? Is he—?’ Chloe couldn’t think straight. She had a dad somewhere out there? All this time? ‘Is he still alive?’
Mum shook her head. ‘Two years after he’d gone, he drowned in the Thames. Drunk as a skunk.’
‘In those two years, didn’t he ever come back? Didn’t he want to see us?’ Chloe thought about how she would have felt if someone had taken her niece away. How hard she’d have fought to see her, to have regular access. Hell, she’d force them to make Evie live with her. She wouldn’t just leave her to it. Forget about her. How could anyone do that to their own flesh and blood? ‘Didn’t he want to work it out? Didn’t he care about us? Why didn’t he ever come back to see us?’
‘Ah, love.’ Chloe’s mum dropped her bags and came back over to her daughter. She cupped Chloe’s face in her hands. Hands that had worked, stitched, cooked and washed until they were red raw. That had waved goodbye to her every morning as she’d gone off to school, then to university and then to work. Hands that had wiped away her te
ars and had held her tight as she’d sobbed for what felt like forever after The Jilting. Yes, Chloe knew her mum’s worth in her life and loved her unconditionally, but really? This was one hell of a lie.
Her mum continued. ‘I think he was relieved to be gone. He was too young to be tied down. Too selfish to think of what anyone else needed. I’m sorry, love. I mean, really, really sorry. About the lies and everything. About him, if I’m honest. The lazy wastrel. I thought it’d be easier if you thought he was a saint. I didn’t want you to have all that toxic stuff in your lives.’
Chloe extricated herself from her mother’s hands and shifted back on the sofa, just too shocked to know what to do. ‘So you internalised it instead? And held him up as some sort of idol?’
‘I hoped he’d see the light and come home. I loved him, Chloe. Too much, to be honest.’ She probably still did, which would explain why her mum hadn’t been near another man ever since. She’d also had to come to terms with her husband leaving and then his death only two years later. Two lots of grieving for a man who didn’t care about anyone but himself, allegedly, but then, he wasn’t here to defend himself, although his actions hadn’t exactly proved the opposite, had they?
Chloe’s throat felt as if sandpaper had been rubbed up and down it. Why had every man she’d ever cared for walked away? Why did none of them have the guts to face her and be honest? And now this, her mother’s lies.
‘I’m sorry, Mum, but that’s not good enough. Everything I’ve believed in has been a bloody lie. You lied to us over and over.’
It was harsh; God, it was a horrible thing to say and Chloe wished those words hadn’t come from her mouth. And maybe it wasn’t just about the lies her mum had told; it was about the fantasy world Chloe had created in her head about her father, the man who would have given her horse-riding lessons and taught her how to fish and walked her up the aisle… like that had even happened anyway. But he would have supported her, challenged Jason to a duel or some modern day equivalent. Her father would have protected her against all life’s difficult times, sheltering her from the hurt and the ugly. Except he hadn’t. And he never would have. ‘I shouldn’t have said that, Mum. I’m sorry. But… what a bloody mess.’
‘Yes. Yes, it is.’ With that, her mum straightened again, eyes still darting to the door at irregular intervals. Clearly she’d rather have been anywhere else than here.
‘We should go. I think it’s at Jenna’s house next month, right?’ Faith had her hand on Chloe’s shoulder. They’d all gathered their things up, and each of them was heading towards the door as some sort of evacuation nirvana. There was a queue and Mrs Singh was wedged in the doorframe, vying for first place out with Saskia. Faith mouthed call me to Chloe and made a phone shape out of her hand.
‘Please. No.’ Don’t go. ‘I’m sorry. Please stay.’
Faith shook her head and pulled Kat with her. ‘You’ve got things to sort out. We don’t need to hear them. Believe me, I want to, but it’s better if you three stay and get it all out there.’ With a final grunt and a heave, the two front-runners popped through the door, followed hastily by the rest of the non-Cassidy family members.
Then, silence.
Chloe looked at her mum, then at Jenna, and back to her mum who was standing empty-handed next to the chair looking uncertain as to whether to sit or to leave, too. Judging by the sideways glances towards the door, Chloe imagined her mum would much rather be walking home with Mrs Singh, even if only to kill her en route for letting slip a secret that would probably have been better never being unearthed.
But it had.
‘And then there were three.’ Jenna finally spoke. Her voice was hushed and raw, almost as if she didn’t believe the reality they’d found themselves in. From a tight circle of unerring mutual support, they’d suddenly been ripped apart. She didn’t appear to be reeling with anger like Chloe, but she was so pale, and her voice was so quiet it was worrying. ‘Mum, seriously, how could you? Even Mrs Singh knew.’
Mum was popping pins in and out of a small pincushion on her wrist, her actions getting faster as she spoke. ‘Anjini has been a good friend to me. But she can be a little loose with her words. When I find her, I will kill her.’
‘She’s kept her mouth closed for twenty-odd years. So, not that loose, not really,’ Jenna snapped. ‘Is there anything else you weren’t truthful about? Any more lies we should know about?’
‘Probably a whole lot, Jenna. But they were told for your own good.’ Things were starting to turn bitter if Mum’s tone was anything to go by, which was a very bad sign. Over the years, she’d had her fair share of nerve troubles, and Chloe hoped this wasn’t going to jump start a downwards spiral. ‘Now don’t be bothering me anymore about it. I did what I thought was the right thing to do. I’m going home to relieve the babysitter. You can come with me, Jenna, or you can come along later, after you two have had a chance to b.i.t.c.h. about me behind my back.’
What? This was somehow going to be their fault? Chloe’s grip on her temper was fast slipping out of her control. ‘And now we’re the bad guys?’
‘Oh? Bad now is it? I’m bad? Is that what you’re saying?’ The fuchsia colour deepened, and with a flourish, Mum indignantly grabbed her bag. ‘Bad for protecting you? Well, thanks for nothing. Now, I’m going to see little Evie—at least she might appreciate me.’
With a huff, she turned her back.
With a slam of the door, she was gone.
Chloe stared after her. What a night. What a day. What a bloody life. ‘Aaaargh. She’s so infuriating.’
‘Yes.’
‘Over the top?’ she asked Jenna, who was slouched sullenly on the sofa, absentmindedly worrying her wedding ring. Something she did when she was tense as if she was trying to seek comfort from Ollie. Chloe hoped she found it, she really did.
‘Yes. We were acting like spoilt brats, and I can imagine she’s going to feel as if we ganged up on her. She had her reasons for lying, I suppose. It would have been hard for her to decide what was for the best. What would you have done in her shoes?’
‘You are becoming far too reasonable, little sister. But I don’t know. I just don’t know.’ Chloe hated this bad feeling between them all. They’d been through so much together and had built such a good life. A good business—most of the time.
Ah, yes. The truth of that wasn’t exactly comfortable, and she’d chosen not to say anything because she didn’t want to worry them. Which, of course, was the same thing her Mum had done when they were little kids, sugar-coated the truth. Chloe was doing the same kind of thing now, and they were all grown adults. ‘I’ll come with you and talk to her.’
Jenna frowned. ‘Now? Oh no, I don’t think so, Chlo.’
‘Why not? It’s better not to sleep on something like this.’
‘It’s late, and I know what you two can be like when you get fired up. I don’t want you coming in and things getting out of hand and upsetting Evie.’
‘Won’t she be asleep?’
‘Probably. But kids feed off all that negativity. I think she’s had enough in her life, don’t you? You can come over tomorrow and apologise first thing.’
Reluctantly, Chloe admitted that Jenna had a point. ‘Okay. I will. Hopefully, she’ll have calmed down by then, too. Tell her I’m sorry, though.’
‘Of course.’ With a soft smile, Jenna wrapped her sister in a hug. It was lovely. Until… ‘So where were you. Tonight? Really?’
‘I was honestly just helping a friend out with some admin work.’ For some reason, Chloe felt she needed to keep the evening’s activities to herself a little while longer. Nothing had happened; she had indeed just been helping someone out. In the end. That was all. Nothing else. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And she would tell Jenna everything as soon as she’d got her own head around the strange way her body was reacting to him.
‘You were working for someone else until ten thirty? I hope she paid you well?’
She? Chloe let that hang there, bu
t she didn’t go out of her way to correct the assumption. Had she been well paid? Vaughn had certainly fed her well, given her wine and helped her thrash out ideas. Chloe had no intention of thinking about the way he’d made her feel and certainly not talking about it, not now, after everything. She was so damned tired, and there was another long day ahead, no doubt, especially trying to get Mum back on side. ‘Sort of. Yes. It was fine.’
‘And the date?’
‘Was terrible. A complete disaster. I will never do that again, Jenna, ever. I’d rather be single for the rest of my life than have to meet up on a string of blind dates over and over. Please don’t make me.’
Her sister looked at her a long time, clearly weighing up the pros and cons of winding Chloe up. ‘Okay. I won’t. But next time you disappear, keep your phone on. Okay? Please don’t make me worry about you like that again.’
‘Okay. I’m so sorry, Jen. I didn’t mean to upset you.’ And there wouldn’t be a next time, of that she was sure. One evening with Vaughn had been far too much already.
‘Right, well, I’ll be off to wave the white flag of surrender.’ Jenna gave her a quick peck on the cheek. ‘Oh, and before I forget, could you have Evie for me two weeks on Sunday?’
‘Sure. Why?’
‘I’m helping a friend move house. Actually, move back in to the area.’
‘Oh? Anyone I know?’
‘Just Nick Welsh. From school?’
‘Nerdy Nick Welsh? The spotty geek who was into war gaming and shocked everyone when he actually joined up to fight with real weapons?’
Jenna nodded, hand covering a yawn, muffling her words a little. ‘Yes, him. He’s moving back to the area, and I said I’d give him a hand.’
Seemed a strange choice of pen pal to Chloe. So unlike Jenna. In fact, the whole scenario sounded a bit fishy. So many secrets. Did she really know these people at all? Did they know her? But perhaps this one was more positive. A man. A friend. Just what Jenna needed. ‘You stayed in touch with him?’
Something Borrowed Page 11
