Hey, for 1,300 dollars, that guitar should have a vagina and tits. Enjoy your snow. He he he.
Drink’n a beer,
Chuck
E-mail to the Official Site, June 2001
Choke’s now number ten on the New York Times bestseller list (it will appear the week after next), plus it’s on the Wall Street Journal bestseller list (very exclusive list) and the USA Today list, and the San Francisco Chronicle list. Now I have evil media handlers that will hail me away from the mob.
Nicole Kidman is reading the Survivor screenplay, and Paltrow’s shopping it around to the people he wants to work with.
Gerry, my editor, says Lullaby is the cleanest draft/idea I’ve had, ever. Trouble is, it’s too scary. He says to tone things down. I reminded him he’s the man who wanted the lipo-soap removed from Fight Club. I’ll send a copy to you when I get one back from a friend (Tammy, she was Fertility in Survivor).
Hey, can you mention—when people write, can they put their return address clearly on the letter itself. Often the envelope gets trashed by the agency, or it’s unreadable because of handling by the post office. I answer every letter, and it burns me out when the address is gone or smudged to illegible.
Here’s a nice story, I’ve been sending out all my 20 free contract copies of Choke. Last night, at a gas station, I had a copy in the car. I asked the goth guy who was pumping gas if he read very much. He said, “A little.” I went to give him the copy of Choke, and he went nuts! He ran to his chair and showed me the book he was reading... Invisible Monsters! It was a magic-fucking-moment. I made out both books to him. He was way too happy for a goth.
E-mail to the Official Site, February 2002
Hey Dennis,
Not much to report. I’ve been transcribing taped interviews and going to the gym. Crown Publishing wants to do a series of travel guides so they’re asking authors to each write about the city/area where they live. They’ve asked me for 25,000 words about Portland. Right now, I’m hunting/gathering weird Portland facts, places, stories to make this dark alternative tour of the “Rose City.” I’m not sure when it will publish, but I’ll let you know.
The Chemical Pink project is slow starting so I’m getting into a new novel, a ghost story unlike any I’ve ever heard of. Even my psychic friends are impressed by the premise, but enough said. Right now, I have to research a half dozen different fields of study. Most recently, I wrote a long essay for an anthology to benefit the Humane Society. It’s an interview with a woman who trains dogs to find dead and missing people. Mostly children. Her stories about the thousands dead in Hurricane Mitch were awful. It will be the darkest piece in the collection, maybe. When the anthology (edited by Ken Foster) publishes, I’m not sure. I don’t think anybody is too sure right now.
Your Don DeLillo story spooks me a little. What did you think of it?
Jesse Peyronel is storyboarding Invisible Monsters now and expects to start production this summer. I’m asking them not tell me the actors until things are further along. I don’t want to mislead anybody until there are solid commitments.
The HBO series is back-burned. The production company said, “Let’s not call it dead. Let’s just stick a pin in it.” I love that—stick a pin in it! And yeah, Jim Uhls and I met Tarantino for a few minutes and talked in a light (ha-ha) way about him directing. He seemed interested in a light (ha-ha) way. He was also blonde.
We’re still waiting for cover art on Lullaby. Entertainment Weekly gave it a nice mention as an event to watch for in September. Are you working on a film right now? I missed Zoolander, but I’ll get the video.
Got to go,
Chuck
E-mail to the Official Site, August 2002
Hello Dennis,
I’d like to send an update about how tour has gone—kids slept outside the Ann Arbor Michigan Borders, all night, to get good seats—in Berkeley, a mob of “waiters” with black eyes pelted the audience with dinner rolls—in Chicago, I signed for 5½ hours and an angry black guy got in my face, shouting, “Every generation has to have its Dolph Lundgren...”
So, I am fucking tired. So much more to tell, but I’m pounding out the re-write on Period Revival for 2003 (names to come, from you), and a re-write on the travel book.
Plus, I agreed to “make” a present for Fincher’s 40th birthday, this month.
But—and this is a little task... can you add a link to “BookSense” to the Chuck website? It’s the bookselling organization for independent book stores, and those are the ones I really want to support.
Anyway, lots of people on the road are asking about you and Our Lady. I’ll read up on the package you sent so I can tell them more.
Thanks,
Chuck
Letter to a Fan, July 2000
Dear Sara,
Thanks for liking the books.
It makes me laugh (until I pee blood) how Roger Ebert gave Fight Club a thumbs down and condemned it. His was one of the worst reviews. But this spring, he gave the DVD a thumbs up...?!? And raved about it...?!
I think we all owe David Fincher a big apology, and a nice kiss on the butt.
Invisible Monsters, jeez, I feel a need to apologize for that one. It just got out of control. I started writing it one night with a bunch of friends at the top of the Space Needle in Seattle. It was the night of the Rodney King verdict, and we could hear the rioters breaking the windows out of Nordstrom’s downtown. Then we went to the Rebar Lounge and stage dove (dived?).
You haven’t seen sick until you read Choke, due out next April. It’s a funny romantic comedy about compulsive sexual addiction, and the movie studios are already phoning me. Some with their tongues hanging out. Go figure.
Please, cross your fingers about Trent Reznor and Survivor.
Okay, Mr. Ebert, pucker up.
Sincerely,
Chuck Palahniuk
Essays, Emails ... Page 12