by Jill Shalvis
“What’s this?”
“We had a group come in late last night. Five brothers. I’m taking them up Sky Peak today and tomorrow. They want to hike up, then ski down the backside. That’s their deposit.”
She looked inside and saw all the zeros on the check. “Nice.”
“The roads are rough. If you go to the bank today, you’ll need the snowmobile to get there.”
She stared down at the envelope. Bad roads. Snowmobile. On the one hand, it sounded like a great adventure. On the other, it sounded like an unusual obituary. But she was going deeper…so she stuck the check in the bank bag and pulled on all her snow gear. She went outside and stared at the snow-mobile sitting so innocuously out front.
The key was in the ignition, the helmet on top of the seat. She pulled it on and straddled the beast, as she’d seen Cam do a bunch of times. “No problem.” Yeah, saying it out loud really helped. She turned the key and the engine jumped to life, along with her heart rate. Instinctively, she grabbed the handlebars and squeezed, and that’s when the beast betrayed her, leaping forward like a kicked bronco.
With a small, strangled scream, Katie let go of the handlebars. The snowmobile went one way and she went the other, flying through the air.
She landed facedown in the soft, newly fallen powder, which gave way beneath her, so that she sank in like a post. She was stuck so good that moving was all but impossible. She tried to keep it together, but it was dark inside the snow berm and she couldn’t get free, and the old panic gripped her. She gasped for air and inhaled snow. Not trapped in your car, she tried to tell herself. No flames licking at you…It didn’t work. Choking, coughing, she struggled, feeling like she was suffocating—
A set of hands gripped her hips and hauled her up to her knees, tugging off her helmet so she could see.
And what she saw was Cam, eyes and mouth grim as he hunkered down before her, peering into her face.
“You’re back,” she gasped, swiping at the snow in her eyes.
“Are you okay?” he demanded.
“I don’t know.” Heart pounding, knees wobbling, she sank to her butt in the snow. “I couldn’t breathe, I—”
He ran his hands down her limbs, then rescued her glasses from the snow and handed them to her. “What the hell were you doing?”
“I…” She shook her head. “Need another second.”
He blew out a breath, then craned his head to take in the snowmobile, which had hit a tree.
She put on her glasses and gasped. “Oh, God.” Nope, she wasn’t okay. Spots swam in front of her eyes, as did memories of what her car had looked like after her crash, and the next thing she knew, Cam had pushed her head between her knees and was saying, “Deep breaths, that’s it. Come on, keep at it.”
“Crap.”
“Does that mean you’re back with me?”
“I did not faint.” She lifted her head and forced herself to look at the snowmobile. “Oh, God. I did, I really killed it.”
“Yeah, well, better it than you. So let’s get to the part where you tell me what you were doing.”
“Attempting to get to the bank. Stone said I could. Hi, by the way.”
“Hi. And Stone’s an idiot. Did it ever occur to you to ask for help?”
“Sure. But I didn’t want to look like the stupid city girl.”
He stroked her damp hair from her face. “You’re that most disconcerting shade of green again.”
“Yeah, I’m sort of having a bad moment.”
“I can see that.” His calm voice was going a long way toward making her calm. Or at least calmer. “Flashback?”
“My car—” She took a quick peek at the snowmobile on its side near the tree. “It looked like a toy afterward.”
“Ah, hell,” With a rough sound of regret, he pulled her in close. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m okay,” she said softly.
“So am I. Let’s just be okay together a minute.”
She burrowed in, pressing her cold nose to his throat. “I’m sorry I killed your snowmobile. I’ll pay for the damages.”
“No, you won’t. Trust me, we’ve put it through far worse.” He slanted her a look. “On purpose.”
“Because you’re all tough badass Wilders, and when you ride crazy and crash into things, it’s on purpose, right?”
“Not every time.”
She closed her eyes, then opened them and cupped his face, feeling the stubble beneath her fingers. “Why didn’t you tell me you hadn’t been on the mountain since your accident?”
“You were nervous enough, you didn’t need to worry about me chickening out.”
“Were you close to doing that?”
He flashed a grim smile. “More than you know.” He started to get up, but she held him back.
“And how are you now?” she asked.
“How are you now?”
“I’m pretty damn fine. Now you.”
He laughed roughly. “Always with the talking.”
“Talking’s good for you.”
“Are you sure? I’d think your tongue would get tired.”
“It’s good for you here.” She spread her hand over his heart.
His smile faded, but his eyes remained warm as he covered her hand with his. “I’m pretty damn fine too. Skiing with you the other day was…good. You thanked me for taking you, but I should have thanked you.” He got up and strode to the snowmobile. Grabbing the handlebars, he picked up the front end, muscling the nose away from the tree. Then he turned the key, and once again the engine roared to life.
“Come here,” he said, holding the beast.
“Oh.” She swallowed hard. “Well, I—”
“Get on.”
She looked at the machine, at the man waiting on her all calm and patient. Balls out. Heading over there, she slowed her steps when she got close. “Yeah, see I’m not sure about the whole driving thing. I don’t think I’m cut out for it.”
He held out the helmet. “Let’s go.”
“You know,” she said. “When it comes to your idiosyncrasies, I’m much more gentle than you.”
He waggled the helmet.
With a sigh, she put it on, then stood still in shocked surprise when he gently tucked a strand of her hair aside, out of her way, leaving his fingers on her for far longer than necessary. “Okay,” she murmured, “that works too.”
He smiled, then leaned in and kissed her, not so gently.
“Even better,” she managed when he pulled back.
“Let’s do this, Goldilocks.”
“Yeah, okay.” What could she do but swing a leg over the snowmobile and get on?
But then he surprised her again by getting on behind her, slipping his arms around her, his thighs hugging hers. She felt his mouth brush the crook of her neck below the edge of the helmet as his hands skimmed beneath her jacket and shirt, and spread wide over her belly. “Put your hands on the grips,” he directed.
With a shiver, she did.
“Good. Now hold tight, and whatever you do, do not let go.” His thumbs stroked her ribs, nearly but not quite touching her breasts. “What did I say?”
“Don’t let go,” she whispered obediently.
“The brake is here.” He showed her where to pull with one hand, the other still stroking her belly.
She drew a shaky breath and dropped her hands to his thighs, feeling the power there, squeezing—
He directed her hands back to the grips. “You have to hold on, no matter what happens.”
She shivered and tried to crane her neck to look at him, but he held her still. “Face forward. Keep your eyes on where you’re headed.” He slid his hands to her belly again, stroking up and down, until she was nothing but a melted bowl of goo. “Feel the weight of the machine.”
“Cam—” She broke off with a gasp when the very tips of his fingers grazed the undersides of her breasts.
“When you turn,” he murmured in her ear, “shift your weight, go with it. Got that?�
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“Shift my weight.” His thumbs made another pass, higher now…Oh God. She was covered in goose bumps, from arousal not fear. All panic gone. Apparently all she’d needed was to be turned on.
She should have thought of that a long time ago.
“Movement is important.” His hands kept stroking her, down her belly, then back up, brushing her breasts now.
She shuddered in pleasure. “Cam?”
“Yeah.” His voice was low and husky, as arousing as his hands.
“I’m having a hard time concentrating.”
He shifted against her and she pressed back, feeling the hard ridge between his legs. “And I’m not the only one,” she managed.
He laughed softly.
God, she loved his laugh. “I can’t drive when you do that,” she murmured.
“The talking, or the touch?”
“Both. Where’s the gas?”
He pulled his hands from beneath her shirt and showed her, and then wrapped his arms around her. “Ready?”
Yeah, she was ready. For all of it. The air was crisp and icy, but she wasn’t cold, not with Cam’s rock-solid body pressed up to hers. In fact, thanks to his erotic teasing, she was the opposite of cold, and getting hotter by the second. “Hold on.” She smiled. “Hold on and don’t let go.”
“I won’t.”
And with a gulp of air, she hit the gas.
She drove far better than Cam expected, recovering from her fears like a pro. At the bank, she slid off the snowmobile and smiled at him as she took off the helmet. “My next adventure is going to have a hard time living up to this one.”
Yeah, so was his.
With another smile, she headed up the shoveled path to the bank as if on top of her own world. She had a nice walk and a sweet ass, in or out of those ski pants he’d given her, and he just stood there watching a moment. He’d resisted her for three weeks now, partly because his family kept getting in his way, and partly—mostly—out of self-preservation. She was already more than a one-night stand to him, and as one of those had never worked out before, he’d told himself he’d had good reason to keep back.
But he was over his past kicking him in the teeth.
Over.
It.
As Katie lived her life, he was no longer going to let a little fear stop him. On anything. Still smiling in marvel at that, he looked around at the sound of boots on the snow and came face-to-face with a part of his past, the part that had once kicked him in the teeth the hardest.
Serena.
“Hello, Cam,” she said softly. “It’s been a while.”
Yeah. Since the day he’d found out she’d slept with someone else, the day he’d crashed and burned.
Serena pushed her dark hair over her shoulder, the hair he’d once loved draped over his body, and gestured to her bakery. “How about some coffee? I’ve got freshly made brownies.”
She was gorgeous as always, her shiny hair scented with the perfume that had once driven him crazy. He waited for a blast of pain and was surprised to find it muted. “I’ve tasted your sweets, thanks.”
“Cam.” She looked so disappointed.
Yeah, he knew that look as well as her scent.
“I was hoping we could be friends.”
“You know, that’s not worked out so well for me before.”
“I’ve tried to apologize. I didn’t mean to—”
“Cheat?”
“I’m not asking to get back together.” Stepping closer still, she put a hand on his arm, gently squeezing his biceps. “I’m asking to be friends. You seem in the mood for new ones.” She tossed a meaningful look toward the bank. When he didn’t say anything, she sighed. “She’s sweet, but no one knows you like I do. Come on, Cam, come inside. We’ll talk, we’ll…” She slid her hand up into his hair, smiling warmly.
He caught her fingers, and she fell quiet, studying him a long beat. “Something’s different.” She looked him over some more. “You’re relaxed. Less edgy.”
“Maybe.”
“Definitely.”
“Look, I have to go get gas for the snowmobile—”
“I’m glad you’re finally back,” she said quietly. “Please come inside. Those warm brownies have your name all over them.” She leaned in to put her mouth to his ear. “Remember what we used to accomplish with just cookie dough? You’d eat it off my—”
“Don’t.” He’d thought seeing her again would kill him. He hadn’t thought he’d ever get to the place where he didn’t want her to hurt as much as she’d hurt him. But oddly enough, he didn’t feel the urge to see her hurt at all. He didn’t feel much of anything really, except maybe the need to get the hell out of there.
Progress. Go figure. “I’m sorry.” And he meant it. “But I don’t want to go over our past.”
“What do you want?”
Only a few weeks ago, his response would have been something hurtful, maybe cruel. Instead, he came out with the utter truth. “Nothing.”
“Okay, so you want me to pay some more, I get it—”
“No.” He stepped back so that her hands fell from him. “I don’t want you to pay.”
Confused, she was searching his gaze, looking for hidden meaning, or the catch. “You stayed away so long. I thought—I actually worried you’d never come back.”
“I didn’t stay away to get back at you, or even because of you. I just needed…something.”
“I can understand. You were restless. Probably bored without racing. It’s how I felt when you were gone all the time. It got me into trouble. Don’t let it get you into trouble, Cam.”
He glanced at the snowmobile, where he’d just ridden across the countryside while holding on to Katie, grinning just about the whole way. For those few moments, he hadn’t felt restless at all. Or frustrated, or empty. He’d been hugged up to Katie and he’d felt…amazingly alive. “I think I’m going to be okay.”
Serena stared up at him for a long moment, then let out a mirthless laugh as her gaze slid to the bank. “Don’t fool your-self, Cam. You’re not going to be the right man for her. I’ve met her. She’s so…open. Open and expressive.”
“So.”
“So she’ll want a man who’s open and expressive as well. And that’s not you. Hell, I had to strip you naked every night just to get you to express yourself.” She shook her head. “You’re not her type. Oh, you’ll play with her for a while before you realize that, but eventually you’ll hurt her.”
When his gaze locked on hers, she nodded. “You know I’m right. About all of it. You hurt me, Cam. I’m just sorry I hurt you back.”
Yeah, hell. He had hurt her. “I’m sorry, Serena. So damn sorry.”
“Are you? Then make it up to me. Call me.”
“I can’t.” He said this as kindly as he could, but he didn’t want to give her false hopes. “Serena, I won’t call you.”
She stared at him, then let out a low, unhappy laugh. “I’ve been waiting for you to come to your senses, but you’re over me. You’re really over me.”
Cam watched Katie come out of the bank and smile at him, and he thought, Yeah, he really was.
But that didn’t mean he got to move on to hurting someone else. Katie was here taking a baby step, doing her best to move on with her life. How he’d ever thought sleeping with her would help her, he had no idea. Probably because he’d been thinking of himself.
