Beth stood in the rain letting the coldness soak through her clothes and into her bones. She didn’t care.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
A moment later Beth darted into her bathroom and threw up. The half-digested potato salad and baked beans swirled in her toilet bowl, making her retch again.
When she was sure her stomach was empty, she saved the card Kaylee had made and tossed the pizza ingredients into the trash. The jar of marina clinked and probably cracked when it hit the bottom of the can. Then she lay on her couch, staring at the gray sky, crying.
She did not call her mother and she did not call Parker. No one would be able to comfort her.
This was one of the worst Mother’s Days of her life. A woman who’d given away her only child had a lot of bad Mother’s Days.
Eventually she grew weary of crying, but she remained stuck to the couch.
Around midnight she fell asleep in her clothes.
# # #
The next day she barely managed to call in sick to work. That evening her phone rang and even though she felt emotionally drained, she answered it.
Her mom’s cheery voice greeted her. “Hi, Bethany. I missed seeing you and Kaylee this afternoon. Maria wouldn’t play with any of the other kids. Where were you? Is everything all right?”
Beth swallowed. “No.” Her voice was raw. “They’re gone.” It was hard to speak. “I must’ve spooked Jim, so he packed up while I was at the tea, and took off.”
“Oh, dear! Do you have any idea where they went?”
“No. How could I?” She pulled at her cuticle. “I should’ve seen this coming. He admitted they move around all of the time. If anything, I should be surprised he didn’t bolt as soon as CPS started asking about Kaylee’s broken arm.”
“Maria’s going to be sad that Kaylee won’t be back. You poor thing. You were so good to her.”
“Better than her own mother, Jim said.” Beth’s voice was flat.
“I’m sorry. Do you want to come over for dinner?” Food was her mother’s way of offering comfort.
“No.” Seeing her dad would only emphasize that her life had been a series of missteps. She’d given away her only child, she’d moved in with her ex and helped raise his niece, and now she’d allowed herself to bond with another girl that she’d never see again. “Mom, it hurts so bad.” Her breathing grew ragged, but there were no more tears left.
“You loved her, didn’t you?”
“Why do I keep giving my heart to people who just trample it?” She plopped her head onto the couch pillow.
“This wasn’t Kaylee’s fault. She wanted to spend Mother’s Day with you, remember?”
Beth thought of the mug painted with orange flowers. “She even gave me a Mother’s Day gift.” Her voice cracked.
“Do you think Jim went to get Kaylee’s sister?”
“No. I think he disappeared so he could keep telling Kaylee his lies.”
“That’s too bad because I found out some more about Willow.” Her mother paused. “Do you want to hear it?”
Did she? Because it was about Kaylee’s sister, she couldn’t help but care. “I guess.”
“Apparently she got kicked out of so many foster homes, she’s been moved to a group home.”
“Why did she get kicked out?”
“I’m not sure. All I could find out was that she’s a troubled little girl and she’s acting out.”
“Probably because her mom neglected her, now both of her parents are in jail and she doesn’t know if her sister’s dead or alive.”
Her mom made a sound deep in her throat signaling that she agreed. She waited a few beats as if Willow deserved a moment of silence. “But you said you keep giving your heart to people who trample it. Who else were you talking about?”
A deep sigh pushed out of Beth. “Parker. We broke up.”
“What happened?”
“Again, I should’ve seen this coming. From the start, he said because of the Huntington’s, he didn’t want to get serious. Lately he’s been blowing me off and working more and more. Now it turns out, he’s joining the Peace Corps and leaving the country for two years.”
“Two years?”
“That’s a really long time. I can’t wait for him for two years. Not that he asked me to. He wants me to date someone else and stop pressuring him to commit.” She hadn’t thought she’d been pressuring him, but deep down, she’d hoped he would ask her to marry him.
“You shouldn’t wait for him. There’s a nice young man who just joined the church that would be perfect for you.”
“Mom, give me a minute to grieve here before you go playing matchmaker.” Beth tried to chuckle and it hurt her chest.
“Beth, dear, won’t you please come over for dinner? You shouldn’t be alone.”
“Alone is exactly what I am, so I think I’d better get used to it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
When Beth finally dragged herself back to the office on Friday, it was the first day all week that she’d showered. She informed her boss that she could return to her regularly scheduled hours. Then she went through her day, reading e-mails and sitting in marketing meetings, on auto-pilot. She didn’t have an original or creative thought to contribute. She couldn’t even stay focused on what her co-workers were discussing. Customer profiles, storyboards, tag lines—everything seemed trivial. Without Kaylee and Parker, her days were meaningless and she had nothing to look forward to when she returned home at night.
Her mother had asked her to keep attending the ENL classes at the church to play with Maria and the other kids, but Beth just couldn’t do it. She never wanted to jump rope or teach anyone how to do yo-yo tricks again.
As she watched the depressing nightly news about war, random shootings, and crooked businesses, she worked her way through Kaylee’s bag of Oreos she’d found above the fridge. The first couple of wafers had tasted great, but now that she was half-way through the second row, the cookies no longer satisfied. She shoved them in one after another because she needed to do something to fill the void. Stupid, she knew, but old habits died hard.
When the phone rang, she allowed her hopes to rise. Could it be Jim confessing where he’d taken Kaylee? Could it be Parker admitting that he missed her as much as she missed him? Putting down the Oreos, she muted the news and grabbed the phone. “Hello?”
“Thank God you’re there.” The female voice was familiar, but it took her a minute to place it. “It’s Ivy.”
Every muscle in Beth’s body tightened. Never in a million years had she expected it to be Ivy. If anything, she figured it would be her mother checking up on her. “OK.” She wasn’t sure what to say. What could she possibly want? The last time they’d seen each other, Beth had given her Osh Kosh overalls in size three months and Ivy’s mother had thrown cupcakes at her.
“Trust me, you’re my last resort. I just got a call that the band playing at Jazzy’s tonight has a sick lead singer. They asked if I could fill in. This is my chance to break into the Chicago clubs. I need to go. I have to go. And I need you to watch the baby.”
Beth shook her head and stared at a house fire on the TV screen. “You need to find someone else.” She was never going to babysit again.
“There isn’t anyone else. My mom is working over-time, my aunts aren’t home and Parker won’t do it.”
“Call a service. Call a friend. I don’t care, but I’m not doing it.”
“I don’t trust some stranger to watch little Parker. And I don’t have any friends.”
“Whose fault is that?” Beth relished making Ivy squirm.
“It’s just the way it is. I’ve always gotten along better with men than women. I think women are jealous of me.”
Beth sighed. Motherhood hadn’t given Ivy any great insight into her personality flaws. “Sorry, but I can’t help you.”
“Can’t or won’t?” When Beth didn’t answer, Ivy pushed forward. “Please. We were friends once. College roommates. I took you to par
ties because you were too shy to go alone, remember? We stayed up talking all night about boys and what kind of man we hoped to marry. Weren’t those the days?”
Twist the knife, why don’t you, Ivy? You married the guy I wanted. Now you’re lucky enough to have a baby while I live in this miserable, one-bedroom apartment stuffing my face with cookies.
“Beth, please. I’m begging you. You know it’s always been my dream to sing professionally. This is my chance.”
Then it hit Beth. She wasn’t the only one in her mid-thirties regretting the way life had turned out. Ivy wanted a singing career as much as Beth wanted a family. Her eyes landed on the half-eaten bag of Oreos on her coffee table. No doubt she’d finish it off if she stayed there feeling sorry for herself.
“What do you want me to say, Beth?” Ivy took a breath. “OK, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said you stole Parker away from me because I know it’s my own fault. I screwed up my marriage all by myself. I mean, Parker did his part, working late hours and ignoring me, but it’s over now. If Parker makes you happy, then I’m happy for you.”
Beth bit her lower lip. How could she ever fill the emptiness both Parker and Kaylee had left in her soul? It wasn’t possible.
“Are you there? Beth? I’m desperate. I’ll pay you any amount if you’ll come babysit for me.”
“You don’t need to pay me.” The words slipped out, surprising them both.
# # #
When Beth arrived at the glass house, Ivy opened the door holding the blond baby against the shoulder of a black sequined dress. Her eye shadow was dark and her lips scarlet.
“Beth, you’re a lifesaver. Maybe it’s silly but I’ve never left Parker Junior with anyone besides my mom.” Ivy walked past the grand piano, dodging baby blankets, rattles and plastic toys on the white carpet. Stopping at the granite kitchen island, she pointed toward a note. “I wrote down his routine as best I could. Babies are unpredictable, but I just fed him so I’m hoping he’ll go to sleep and not fuss while I’m gone.”
Beth scanned the note which described a cycle of feeding, burping, diaper changes and napping.
Ivy bounced Parker Junior, who was dressed in a onesie, as she explained how to warm the baby formula in a cup of hot water. Patting the baby’s tiny back, she didn’t seem ready to hand him over. “I’d better go. Any questions?”
“Where are the diapers?”
“Oh, silly me.” She led her down the hall to a nursery with blue toile curtains and bedding. The white crib stood in the corner with a changing table next to it. It was the first French Country-themed nursery Beth had ever seen and it was beautiful.
Parker Junior’s eyes stared inquisitively at Beth while Ivy explained about the diaper rash cream and the diaper disposal contraption.
Swallowing, Beth started to wonder if this would be more complicated than she’d first thought. She hadn’t babysat an infant since she was a teenager. All of her recent experience had been with children who knew how to walk and talk. “Did you write down your cell phone number, just in case?”
“Good idea.” Ivy raced, still clutching the baby, back to the kitchen. With one-hand, she scribbled her digits at the bottom of the note. “If he gets fussy, there are clean pacifiers in there.” She pulled open a drawer next to the fridge. “If it drops on the floor, please don’t stick it back in his mouth. Just toss it in the sink and grab another.”
Beth nodded. “I’ll take good care of him. I promise.”
Ivy made eye contact with her and her brown eyes started to water. “I know you will. But maybe I shouldn’t leave him just yet. I’ll call Jazzy’s and cancel.”
“No, Ivy. This is your big chance. Junior and I will be just fine. You’d better get going.”
“I almost forgot. When he goes to sleep, be sure to place him on his back. It helps prevent SIDS. And there’s a CD player in the nursery with lullabies for him to listen to.” She cradled his fuzzy head a moment before handing him over to Beth. He started to fuss and reached a tiny hand toward Ivy.
Beth started bouncing him, thinking she’d held cats that were heavier than he was. Despite Beth’s efforts to sooth him, he kept crying.
“Oh, dear,” Ivy said. “Am I a terrible mother?”
“No.” She couldn’t believe it, but it appeared that Ivy actually had a maternal instinct. She seemed to care about her baby even more than herself. “I’m sure every working mother goes through this. Remember, by earning money, you’re helping take care of him.”
“Thanks.” Ivy stuck a pacifier in Parker Junior’s mouth, then grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “My mascara’s going to run.”
The baby settled down as he focused on sucking his pacifier. Beth took his little hand and helped him wave. “Bye-bye, Mommy.”
Ivy inhaled a deep breath and stepped into three-inch heels. “I really have to go. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Feel free to sleep in the guest bedroom, just make sure you turn on the baby monitor.”
“Don’t worry, Ivy.” Beth walked her to the door and couldn’t believe what happened next.
Ivy reached around and hugged her. “I’m lucky to know you.”
Nodding, Beth fought the urge to cry. Her emotions were too close to the surface these days. “Knock ‘em dead.” She watched her college roommate drive away in a crimson BMW. Beth looked at Parker Junior’s chubby cheeks and smiled. “Your mom is following her dreams. Isn’t that great?”
He grunted and started squirming so she put him down on a baby blanket embroidered with puppies. Aunt Fran had given it to Ivy at the baby shower along with those homemade bibs.
The doorbell rang and Beth startled. She handed the baby a nearby rattle and headed for the door. Even though it was a gated neighborhood, she looked through the peep hole.
Standing on the porch was Parker.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Beth pulled open the massive front door and saw Parker looking better than he had a right to.
Sporting a red polo shirt and Dockers, he squinted at her in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”
She propped her hands on her hips. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Ivy called and asked me to babysit.”
“And you said no, so she called me.”
“Of course I said no, but then I started thinking about how long she’d been trying to break into the Chicago music scene and I felt bad. I never could resist a lady in distress.”
“Or a country in distress apparently.” Her voice had an edge to it that she rarely used. She was turning into a bitter old maid.
“May I come in?”
She sighed. “It’s up to you. Parker Junior and I can manage without you, if you have something more pressing to take care of.”
He shook his head. “I can’t think of anything.” He stepped inside the foyer and closed the door behind him. “Boy, it feels weird coming in through the front door instead of through the garage.”
“Come here often?” Jealousy washed over her. She kneeled next to the baby so she could try and ignore her six foot tall ex.
He followed her into the living room and sat on one of the cream colored couches. “Ivy’s going to regret her white-on-white color scheme now that she has a baby, don’t you think?” He smirked.
A laugh forced its way out of her tight lips. “Actually, Ivy seems to be embracing motherhood in a way I never imagined. I practically had to kick her out the door tonight. She considered calling and cancelling her gig.”
“No way.”
“Yep.” She picked up the discarded rattle and shook it near the baby’s face. “You’re a cutie, yes, you are.” The baby talk came naturally. Tonight might be a fun distraction from her real life.
Parker cracked his knuckles. “I passed the medical exam for the Peace Corps.”
“Good for you.”
“I’m not so sure. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately.”
“Maybe that’s because you dumped the best thing that ever happened to you.
” Surprised at her boldness, she continued focusing on the baby.
“Could be. I also think it’s against my nature to lie.” He cracked his knuckles one by one. “I want to go to Africa and help, but I don’t want to do it if I have to lie about my health.”
Interesting. She looked up at him and his eyes looked sunken. Well, good. He deserved to be miserable. “What are you saying?”
His Adam’s apple dipped. “I’m going to be honest with my recruiter about the Huntington’s. I’m pretty sure they won’t want me anymore.”
She felt her heart throbbing in her head. “I’m sorry.” And she was. “I know you’ve been talking about joining the Peace Corps since we were at I.U.”
“That’s what I get for waiting too long.”
“I guess.” The baby started grunting and kicking his legs in the air. Beth grabbed his bare foot and wiggled each tiny toe. “This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home. . . .” He was not amused. Seeing that he’d spit out his pacifier, she got a clean one and placed it in his mouth. He rejected it, so she rubbed his tummy. “What’s wrong, little guy?” Again, with the high-pitched baby talk. She peeked inside his diaper, but it was clean. When he didn’t settle down, she rose and started carrying him around the obstacle course of blankets and toys.
“Is he hungry?” Parker asked.
“Ivy said she fed him right before I arrived.” She walked over to the wall of windows facing the lakeshore and made sure he had a view. “Look out there. Isn’t it beautiful?” Magically, the baby seemed to calm down.
Parker sprang from his seat. “Hey, maybe we should take him outside.”
“I don’t know.” She hadn’t planned on doing anything but rocking and feeding him.
“Come on. Kids love the beach.” His voice grew wistful.
“But what if he gets sand in his hair?”
“Then we’ll wash him.”
“What if it’s too cold?”
“Then we’ll bring him back inside.” Parker’s brown eyes seemed to twinkle.
Next Door Secrets (Secrets Series Book 2) Page 21
