by J. K. Rock
I jerked back, a shiver of awareness running through me despite the temperature.
“Yeah. Us and twelve kids.” I rounded up my group and headed for the rock. My scalp prickled and I turned, catching Nick’s eye before he looked away.
After a couple of reminders that escalated to warnings, then threats, we all sat cross-legged on the ground. I held in a groan when I noticed Daan next to Kennedi. Awesome.
“I’ll take three ideas for a group name and then we’ll vote on the best one.”
Six voices shouted, their words too tangled for my brain to unknot.
“Raise your hands and I’ll call on you.”
The kids continued shrieking their choices. “Okay.” I stood and leaned against the rock. “Then I’m calling you the Wiggle Worms.”
A hush descended and the children gaped at me. Their expressions alternated between shock, dismay, and horror.
I looked around the circle, loving my new voice now that I’d found it. “Thought so. Now, can I see some hands up, please?”
“The Lonely Hearts Club Band,” Kennedi said in a horrible imitation of a British accent.
“Hey. The Beatles are cool. I’ve never met anyone else my age who’s even heard of them.” Daan let go of the butterfly he’d captured and stared at his nemesis.
“Do you like the White Album?” Kennedi asked him, scooting closer.
“Ob-la-di, ob-la-da…” Daan sang, the wheezing crack in his voice causing Soraya to giggle.
When Kennedi glared her way, Soraya clamped a hand over her mouth. “He’s got asthma,” Kennedi stormed. “You shouldn’t make fun of people because they can’t breathe.”
Soraya shook her head and paled beneath her dark skin. “I’m very sorry.” She chewed on a fingernail.
I bit back a grin. We were barely into today’s activities, and here was a major breakthrough. If only Nick and I had found one this summer. I glanced over at him, my gaze lingering on the handsome planes of his face, his animated expression and sparkling eyes holding his campers’ attention.
One of the Pirates in my group raised his hand. I struggled to remember his name, then got it. “Yes, Miguel?”
“Can we be the Bikini Bottoms?”
“Or Sandy Cheeks?” guffawed another Pirate. The group broke into a chorus of giggles.
“That would be a definite no to the last two so that means, by default, we are The Lonely Hearts Club Band.” I wiped the dry grass sticking to my sweaty legs and signaled for the group to stand.
“Yes!” Daan and Kennedi fist-bumped each other, then made an exploding sound. Claire slipped her hand in mine, and we headed for a clump of trees. Opposing platforms were built into two of them, and a rope attached to a pulley connected their trunks. Beneath the pulley lay a dried-up mud pit, brightly colored hula hoops spaced apart on the earth.
I glanced over to where I’d last seen Josh and Amanda, but they’d disappeared. Surprise.
Nick pointed at me, the expression in his eyes warming me more than the relentless sun. His flirty looks today signaled that, despite his note, the games weren’t over. That he thought I’d fall for them all over again. I crossed my arms, my eyes narrow. Uh-uh. No way. I was blowing the whistle and calling this game.
“What’s your team’s name?” he asked.
“The Lonely Hearts Club Band.”
His group snickered, and with a hand gesture, he got them under control. “We’re the Bikini Bottoms.”
“Seriously?” I glanced at Miguel who exchanged looks with a boy on Nick’s team.
“Why would I be kidding?” Nick’s brow creased.
“Because Miguel came up with the same name for my team.”
Nick whistled long and low. “Wow. And you didn’t pick it? That name is awesome.”
“Some stupid cartoon with a talking sponge is better than The Beatles?” Kennedi sent Nick a withering look and slung an arm around Daan. “You think you know a person…”
I choked back a laugh at the bright color flaming in Daan’s cheeks. Nick, on the other hand, looked relieved.
“All right Bikini Bottoms and Lonely Hearts,” Nick boomed and the children crowded close. For a moment, I couldn’t hear him for the buzzing mosquito near my ear. I slapped it away and listened in.
“It’s called Crocodile Pit. Each team will stand on one of the platforms. One at a time, you’ll swing to the opposite platform using the rope attached to that slider.”
He pointed to the tree clump I’d noticed earlier, his taut muscles revealed by his sleeveless shirt. I waved the activity directions sheet in front of my face. Definitely time to cool off.
“What happens if we fall?” asked Toby. I noticed, despite him being a member of the Bikini Bottoms, he’d sidled close to Claire.
“If you fall in the hula hoop, then you’re safe and you get another chance to swing.”
“And if you don’t?” lisped Claire, her voice barely louder than the faint screams coming from some teams playing beach volleyball.
“Then the crocodiles will get you and you’ll be out.” Nick’s lips twisted, and he looked devilishly handsome in a naughty-not-nice way.
Soraya surveyed the trees. “I don’t see any crocodiles.”
“No duhzzies. There are no crocodiles in North Carolina. Sheesh.”
“Kennedi. Enough.” I pushed my damp hair off my forehead. “If you can’t say something nice, then zip it.” Honestly, did sainthood come with CIT status? Maybe CIT stood for Counselor-in-Torture?
Nick arched an eyebrow at me, and I raised one back at him. Yeah? So what. I was over being the girl who never spoke her mind except in her mind. If I couldn’t be myself at camp, how could I be myself at my dad’s house in Jersey or with my mom half a world away?
“Nick and I will be the crocodiles, so we’ll be the ones to pull you out of the game,” I said. “The team with the most members to make it across the mud pit wins. Got it?”
“Move it out, Bikini Bottoms!” Nick shot me a last, assessing look, then sprinted for the trees, his team on his heels.
We chased after them, Daan and his new buddy
Kennedi bringing up the rear.
When the kids assembled on the platforms, we flipped a coin, and the Bikini Bottoms got to go first. Toby grabbed the rope and zipped across with a hard shove from one of his teammates. When he reached the Lonely Hearts’ platform, Claire held his hand.
“That’s one!” Nick hollered, his loud clap annoying the crap out of me. “Let’s get ‘em, Bikini Bottoms!”
I cupped my hands and raised my voice. “Isn’t this supposed to be about building morale? Not your ego?”
“Winning makes everyone feel good.” Nick thumped his chest, and his white teeth flashed. “See? I feel great.”
My eyes rose to the leafy canopy, then lowered again. “But it also means someone has to lose.”
Nick stopped smiling. “I think I know that better than anyone, Kayla.”
I flushed and swatted away another mosquito. Nick would see our past in terms of him losing and me winning. Yet he’d gone on to win a lot more important things than me. With his fame and glory, why had he been so determined to come back to camp and show that he could beat me at these head games? Weren’t gold medals enough to satisfy him?
“Come on now, Bikini Bottoms,” Nick hollered. “Let’s get another point!”
Wow. Maybe not.
A few more kids crossed, and I was beginning to think we might end up in a tie until Soraya lost her grip halfway through her slide and fell the three feet to the ground.
One of her legs was in the hula hoop and the other out.
“Safe!” I guided the child back to the tree ladder.
“Not a chance.” Nick’s nostrils flared. “She had a foot in the swamp. A croc could have had her. Easy.”
“Oh yeah. Then just try!” I pushed Soraya up the ladder and turned to face Nick’s wrath. Yet his face had transformed from angry to stunned and then… admiration?
; Nick threw his hands in the air. “Fine.” He gave me a grudging smile. “You win…this round.”
“Next,” I shouted and the game continued. Several more kids slid across and made it safely to the other side. After ten minutes, I’d captured a Bikini Bottom teammate and Nick had grabbed a Lonely Heart. Finally the last pair faced off. Nick’s kid made it across and tottered on the edge until Daan pulled him back. They fell in a heap on the platform. Then the kid jumped up and waved to his cheering teammates. Daan, on the other hand, looked dazed from the fall and held onto the tree as he stood.
“It’s all you, Daan!” screamed Kennedi. “We’ll have a chance to win if you make it across.”
I swallowed in surprise. Just a couple weeks ago, Kennedi had been screaming at Daan because he won the pinecone challenge. Now she was cheering for him. I couldn’t help but return Nick’s smile, knowing we shared the same thought. These team-building activities were working.
For the kids, at least.
I wished we could end the games right then, but there had to be a winner. I watched as Nick gave chase when Daan tried to swing across. Nick roared a great big croc growl but didn’t rattle Daan, who landed safely with the rest of his team.
“Take that, Bikini Bottoms!” Kennedi squealed, whooping it up with Daan and launching into a victory dance.
“Sportsmanship,” I reminded them, but that was lost in the revelry.
“We’ll get ‘em next time,” Nick told his group, patting a couple of sad-faced kids on the head. For the most part though, they were already talking about the next challenge on our list—an adventure walk. Nick leaned closer to me, his T-shirt brushing my bare shoulder. “See how happy he is? It feels good to go from zero to hero.”
He pointed to Daan, and I felt a crushing pressure on my chest.
“A zero?” Indignation rumbled through me.
“It’s just an expression, Kayla,” Nick said softly, staring at Daan with a faraway expression. “When you’re used to people overlooking you and underestimating you, it feels incredible to be noticed for something good.”
Some of the steam left me as I understood he wasn’t talking about Daan. He was thinking about his competitive family, where winning meant everything. Where his brother’s baseball success had always made him more important than Nick. And camp, where he’d once been overlooked and rejected- even by me.
I blew the whistle and directed the kids over to the next activity. They skipped, ran, and jostled, happy and excited for the day. I wished camp was still simple like that for me. And for Nick, too.
“Your parents must have been so proud of you when you won at Sochi.” I’d overheard him telling his friends the story about his winning run in the half-pipe earlier in the summer, but I’d never gotten to ask him about it.
“My mom was happy for me,” he admitted as we guided the kids through the woods to the adventure walk. This station was manned by workshop leaders who were in charge of the team-building day, so we got to hand off the Pirates and Mermaids long enough to let someone else explain the goals of the activity. “My dad was in Arizona with Zach. Pitchers and catchers report to spring training in February so…”
“Your family wasn’t all with you for the Olympics?” I followed Nick to the shade of a big hemlock tree while we monitored the kids from a few feet away. What the hell?
He shrugged, but it was jerky and unnatural-looking. “A lot of other kids were on their own. Some of the ice skaters travel with their coaches because their parents don’t have the money to travel.”
“But your family goes everywhere to see Zach—” I put my foot in my mouth. Well, I wish I could have. Maybe it would have stopped the words faster. “Sorry.”
“They’ll see me this weekend,” he muttered, leaning a shoulder into the tree and picking at the bark, his brown hair and the leaf-green in his hazel eyes matching his backdrop.
“Really?” The main Parents’ Weekend had come and gone, but of course families could drop by camp anytime within reason, like my mom and dad had. Plus, next weekend was a smaller Family Day barbecue that attracted more camp alumni than anyone else.
“Since Zach got called up last month, he’s been playing in Charlotte with the White Sox Triple-A team. He’s a couple of hours away from here while he rehabs a shoulder injury.” Nick folded his arms and finally looked at me. “According to Mom, the trip here for Family Day was Zach’s idea. She says Gollum wants to organize a camp-wide baseball game just for the star athlete.”
Dark sarcasm hung heavy on his words.
“Nick.” I touched him before I thought about what I was doing. “Your family sucks.” Was that wrong of me to say? “But you’re a star athlete, no matter what they think.”
“Baseball is everything in my family. I could win a hundred medals, and it wouldn’t compare to what he’s achieved.” Anger lurked deep in his eyes, but I’d known him for so long I understood what it masked.
Hurt.
My fingers flexed on his arm, squeezing. “You shouldn’t have to compete for attention. Love.”
“From what I’ve seen? You damn well do.” His crooked smile showed me he wasn’t talking about me. He was thinking of his parents. He genuinely thought he’d needed to win gold for their approval. What would I have had to do to win my father’s?
How weird that I could relate to this “new” Nick. He turned edgy and competitive because he wanted to prove I’d been wrong to dump him. His parents’ favoring his older brother had convinced him even more. Would that be what it was like if I moved in with my father’s new family? Kayla on the outside looking in? Never good enough?
“That’s so wrong.” I slid my hands away, afraid if I touched him for too long his hazel eyes would make me forget why we weren’t good for each other anymore.
I didn’t cause the bitter streak inside him, but I was pretty sure Nick didn’t see it that way. And as long as he couldn’t trust me or see me for who I was, I wouldn’t get sucked in by our old friendship. Or my deeper feelings.
“I’m going to beat him.” Nick straightened, his eyes filled with new purpose and determination.
“What?” I felt like I’d missed something, but it was hot enough to scramble my brains.
“When my brother shows up for the baseball game, I’m going to kick his ass.” He grinned, and I got a chill. It was like looking at a jack-o-lantern smile, lit up and scary as hell.
“Why?” A knot of worry twisted in my stomach.
Not for me, but for him. “Nick, you don’t need to prove anything. You’re already a superstar.”
“My dad says if you’re not winning, you’re losing.” He lowered his voice. “And I’m done losing, Kayla.”
Speechless, I stared at him. I was torn between being horrified at how deep the competitiveness between the brothers went and relief that I finally understood why Nick had changed so much. No matter what he’d done these last three years, his parents still didn’t think he was as good as Zach.
We walked toward the adventure walk activity now that the kids had been prepped with their instructions.
“So don’t forget,” Nick said softly into my ear as we edged closer to the throng of excited campers waiting for their turn. “If you want to win this weekend, make sure you’re on my team.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that, but then, Nick didn’t seem to need an answer. Everyone in his life wanted to win, so no wonder he assumed that would be important to me.
I would probably never fix our old friendship, but maybe it would help to show him I didn’t care about winning. Perhaps if he understood that, he’d finally realize I hadn’t walked away from our friendship just to be a Diva. I’d done it so he could follow his dreams.
There had been a time I’d thought that was a good thing. Now I wondered. Was snowboarding less his dream and more about proving himself to his family? What if the direction I’d pushed him in had been the wrong one?
“Fall. Fall. Fall. Fall,” chanted the group after we’d
located Amanda and Josh and the kids had finished up the adventure walk.
We’d moved onto the trust fall, and I was shaking in my shoes.
I glanced over my shoulder and felt my knees tremble. The distance from the platform to the ground wasn’t the main problem, though I feared heights— even a three-foot drop. No. My main issue was Nick’s outstretched arms. That scared me more.
What would it be like to trust him again? My heart had been on a roller coaster ride ever since he’d come back to camp.
“Come on, Kayla. You’re the only one!” shouted Claire. She’d gotten a lot mouthier now that Kennedi had backed off on her teasing and seemed preoccupied with Daan. After an afternoon spent running obstacle courses and playing tug of war, the cabins were like family.
The thought made me glance back at Nick who beckoned, his dimples appearing. It frightened me that I didn’t know how to read this new Nick. Couldn’t tell if I could trust him, despite what he’d confided earlier. He might have been blowing off steam, not sharing something personal with a friend.
I tried swallowing, but my mouth was too dry. The chorus behind me notched up another level, and beads of moisture broke out across my upper lip.
“I-I…” My voice shook. I rubbed my clammy hands on my shorts.
“You can do it, Kayla,” urged an all-too-familiar voice. Nick. “I won’t let you fall.”
The timbre of his voice made something I’d held tight loosen inside me. I’d trusted him so often in the past. Was there even the slightest chance I could try again? Maybe not. But for the kids at least, I needed to set an example. I gritted my teeth and locked my knees. I might not trust Nick, but I’d learned to have faith in myself.
And just like that, I let myself fall. For me. Not for Nick.
Strong arms held me longer than they should have, but not as long as I wanted.
Chapter Thirteen
“Batter up!” Gollum shouted, lifting his metal catcher’s mask just as the Family Picnic baseball game got underway.
As our umpire for the day, our camp director stared at our dugout and waited for our first batter to come to the plate for the co-ed game made up of teams with a mix of campers, alumni, and family. The heat was still intense, but clouds had moved in over the last few hours. It helped that the sun didn’t beat on us with so much intensity, but the fire of Nick’s glare from the pitcher’s mound singed me anyway.
