‘I have had some experience of Port Phillip Bay,’ he murmured.
‘Then you’ll know it’s no kindergarten!’
‘Definitely not,’ he agreed and narrowed his eyes. ‘What does your boyfriend have to say about you doing this?’
Sidonie sobered. ‘He’s no longer my—that.’
‘Why?’
Sidonie stared at him haughtily. He shrugged and a wry smile twisted his lips. ‘You might as well tell me. What possible harm could it do?’
She frowned then said reluctantly, ‘I suppose you’re right—although I don’t think crewing means I should have to bare my heart to you or that kind of thing. I_____,
‘By no means. OK, it’s up to you.’
Sidonie thought for a bit then she said matter-of-factly, ‘He fell in love with someone else, someone who was all the things I’m not, I guess, although she’s hopeless on boats, but then again…I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.’ She shrugged ruefully. ‘It must be to do with having had an extremely trying day!’
Mike Brennan tried not to smile. ‘Do you drink?’ he queried.
‘Very rarely—what’s that got to do with it?’
‘Sometimes it helps. Why don’t you also take the weight off your feet?’ He pointed to a bar stool and went behind the island bench.
Which was how, several minutes later, Sidonie came to have in her hand a glass full of a lovely chilled white wine and before her on the bench a bowl of walnuts and olives.
Mike Brennan waited until she’d sipped some wine before he said, ‘How come it’s been such an unusually trying day?’
Sidonie put her glass down regretfully. ‘Well, I applied for a job up here—not precisely here but at a small outback school on a large cattle property. They seemed very impressed with my credentials and they paid for me to fly up for an interview so I—’ she paused and grimaced ‘—I rather assumed the job was in the bag so to speak.’
‘It wasn’t?’
She sighed. ‘They took one look at me and…came to the conclusion I wouldn’t suit although what they told me was I was over-qualified for it.’
‘Over-qualified to be a teacher?’
‘Yes. Well, I must admit I haven’t had a lot of experience at it,’ she said ruefully. ‘The one job I did have in that line—er—wasn’t entirely successful but I’m quite convinced the school was more to blame than I was.’
Several expressions chased through Mike Brennan’s eyes but he said soberly enough, ‘What did you do’
‘I——’ Sidonie glanced at him cautiously ‘—I taught them to play poker. At the same time I was teaching them English,’ she hastened to add.
‘How old were they?’ he said in the same sober way.
‘Seven and eight.’
He burst out laughing.
‘It’s not really funny,’ Sidonie remarked reproachfully. ‘Their English improved dramatically as it happened.’
‘I don’t quite see the connection,’ he said, still grinning.
‘It’s simple.’ She looked surprised. ‘We would only have a game if everyone had done their homework and concentrated properly in the lesson.’
‘Quite simple,’ he marvelled. ‘But the school didn’t approve? ’
Sidonie sighed again. ‘They said I could be turning them into compulsive gamblers.’
‘What a prospect—you might have been better with Snap and Happy Families.’
Sidonie shrugged. ‘That’s another of my contentions that they didn’t agree with—I think children are often a lot brighter than they’re given credit for.’
‘Well, I agree with you there, but you didn’t actually use money-or did you?’
‘Oh, no, we used broad beans.’
He grinned and offered her an olive.
‘Thanks.’ She bit into it reflectively. ‘So.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘So? Your teaching experience sounds not only limited but disastrous yet you were quite sure you would get this job—forgive me but that sounds a bit rash.’
‘It was,’ Sidonie agreed gloomily. ‘But I really wanted to get out of Melbourne and …’ She trailed off and sipped some more wine.
‘What are these over-qualifications you have?’
She brightened. ‘A BA—I actually majored in English Literature—and a Bachelor of Science.’
‘I’m impressed,’ Mike Brennan murmured. ‘But it seems a rather unusual combination.’
‘Unfortunately-’ Sidonie looked wry ‘—I’m rather unusual. If you must know I quite often feel a bit of a freak and never more so than today,’ she added with a grimace. ‘But I can assure you it’s possible to be interested in science and arts.’
‘I do apologise, I didn’t mean to sound patronising,’ he said gravely. ‘Perhaps you should pursue the scientific side—career-wise, that is—rather than the educational side.’
‘I was,’ she said briefly.
‘So?’
‘I was bored to tears,’ she said solemnly.
‘That doesn’t-does that make sense in light of what you’ve just told me?’ he queried wryly.
‘Probably not.’ She drained her glass. ‘It all rather goes back to my father, who died fairly recently. He was a nuclear physicist, you see, and he could never understand why mechanics was my forte. And when I wanted to get out of the laboratory and actually work among motorbikes and so on—they really fascinate me mechanically-he got very upset. He said it was no job for a girl, which was really strange because he’d always treated me as a son until then.’ She blinked away a tear. ‘So I stayed on, well, with just that one stint teaching—he didn’t mind that—until he died. I do beg your pardon.’ She drew a hanky from her pocket and blew her nose. ‘I’m normally not in the least emotional.’
Mike Brennan said thoughtfully, ‘Losing your father and your boyfriend can be emotional experiences, I should imagine. But what’s stopping you working with motorbikes now?’
Sidonie twisted her hanky. ‘Everyone I approached laughed at me.’
Mike Brennan laughed himself. ‘I wonder why?’ he murmured and poured her another glass of wine.
Sidonie looked down at herself. ‘I know why,’ she said with gentle melancholy and reflected that if one glass of wine made her feel this sorry for herself she ought not to have any more, but it was oddly comforting to be able to be so honest. ‘There just doesn’t seem to be a role in life for me.’
‘At—twenty or so…’ he hazarded, ‘I wouldn’t regard it as a blight on your life yet.’
‘Twenty-three,’ Sidonie said drily, ‘and that’s the kind of facile thing people say but I do assure you it’s no help at all.’
He looked at her thoughtfully, not in least perturbed by her intended slight, apparently, then he said idly, ‘Could I make a less facile suggestion? Don’t wear your hair like that, throw away those clothes–and life might just surprise you, Sidonie Hill.’
‘Ah,’ Sidonie responded. ‘No, it wouldn’t. It’s still the same me, you see. Just as you would probably be highly uncomfortable in anything other than shorts and a T-shirt, and with a decent haircut, I wouldn’t be any less me. And if you were implying that men might be tempted to take more of an interest in me were I to do those things you suggested—two points.’ She gestured and reached for her glass. ‘Life might certainly surprise me but would it actually improve? I wonder–’
He broke in with a half-smile, ‘Why shouldn’t it? Or do you have something against men finding you attractive?’
‘Not the right man, no.’ It was her turn to look faintly quizzical. ‘They don’t seem to be too thick on the ground, however. But you know, it’s not so much men—or the lack of them—that bothers me. It’s—this lack of purpose, not being able to find the right job, the right niche. That’s what really bothers me.’
‘On the other hand, is that not why you left Melbourne? Because of your failed- relationship?’
Sidonie frowned. ‘Well, obviously it was one reason. It’s not very pleasant t
o be thrown over for another woman; I can’t deny that it made a bit of a dent in my self-esteem but I’ve got the feeling it might not have worked anyway.’
‘And why is that?’ Mike Brennan queried with a straight face.
Sidonie chewed her lip. ‘I know it sounds odd and what I really mean is this, I think…’ She paused. ‘We were good friends and perhaps we confused that with being in love. It was certainly all very nice and comfortable but when he fell in love with this other girl it sort of dawned on me that there’d been no real passion in our relationship. No heart-stirring stuff, no feeling breathlessly happy and not wanting to be away from each other for a moment. Which is how he felt about her,’ she said ruefully. ‘And of course I was then led to wonder whether I was capable of inducing that kind of thing in a man. It’s not always a help to be interested in the kind of things I am, from a man’s point of view, I’m beginning to perceive. I think, speaking very generally, of course, men still prefer women to be very feminine.’
‘And you don’t think you are?’ Mike Brennan said in a totally deadpan way.
‘Not outwardly,’ Sidonie replied, her brow furrowed as she concentrated. ‘Take my choice in clothes for one thing—I’m really happiest in a pair of overalls so I never bother much about them and when I do I never get it right. I have a lot of trouble with my hair, I——’ But she hesitated and stopped, thinking that her other major shortcoming might be better kept a secret until there was no turning back. So she said instead, ‘Do you know what I mean at all?’ and winced when she thought she saw a glint of compassion in his eyes and said hastily, ‘It doesn’t really matter. As I said earlier, it’s not my main cause of concern.’
He looked at her thoughtfully for a long moment. ‘As a matter of fact I agree with you,’ he said finally. ‘To the extent that the outward manifestations of one’s femininity, or masculinity for that matter, may not always be a true guide.’
‘Oh, I’m so relieved to hear you say so!’ Sidonie smiled at him widely and then was struck by an awful thought which caused her to start to colour and add disjointedly, ‘Not…I mean … not in any personal sense, of course! Just that it reflects that you could be a thinking, fairly intelligent sort of person … Oh, dear,’ she wound down unhappily, ‘perhaps I should say no more.’
‘Perhaps,’ he agreed but with a wicked little glint of amusement dancing in his eyes. ‘But until you make up your mind on my intelligence or otherwise, may I make a practical suggestion this time? Why don’t you unpack, have a shower and change‘? You don’t need to be careful of water while we’re in the marina; ’I’ll fill up again before we go—and I’ll start dinner. The sun has slipped past the yard arm, in case you hadn’t noticed.’
Half an hour later Sidonie emerged from the forward cabin a bit hesitantly. The shower had been wonderful, the cabin, although small, had ample space for her possessions and she’d changed into a pair of white shorts and one of the T-shirts she’d bought.
She’d also washed her hair and plaited it. The aromas coming from the galley were delicious, but despite all this she couldn’t help but be struck by the thought that she’d committed herself to sharing a very confined space wit-h a total stranger and she didn’t even know for how long.
So she was quiet as they ate grilled lamb chops, a potato casserole topped with cheese and tomato, and fresh green beans, followed by a fresh fruit salad and cream. She also declined any more wine and was just gearing herself up to ask some pertinent questions when Mike Brennan pushed away his dessert plate and said idly, ‘I’d guess you’d like to know my plans.’
‘Oh. Yes,’ she replied gratefully.
‘Know anything about the Whitsunday area?’ ‘No,’ she confessed. ‘Not a lot. I boned up on cattle and cattle stations et cetera—I’m actually a walking mine of information on different breeds…Simmental, Poll Herefords, Charolais as well as artificial insemination and the like, which was a bit of a waste of time as it’s turned out although they say knowledge can never be useless—but I wasn’t expecting to be out on the water.’
‘Well, come and have a look at the map,’ he said, again looking wickedly amused, and a moment later was showing her the main islands in the area. ‘Hayman, Hook, Whitsunday, Haslewood, Hamilton all have protected anchorages, so what I plan is a leisurely cruise around them for a couples of weeks and then I’ll be taking her down to Tin Can Bay, which is to be her home base.’ His finger moved a long way down the map and Sidonie’s eyes widened.
His own eyes narrowed faintly as he watched her and he said after a moment, ‘That will be something for us to make a mutual decision about—whether you come that far or I drop you back here.’
‘I see.’ She thought for a bit and looked around. ‘It looks brand-new, this boat.’
‘It is. There are only about twenty hours on the log, which is why I decided to take on crew. There are inevitably teething problems on new boats and it’s handy to have someone else on board.”
‘I would have thought you needed a man.’
‘As a matter of fact I’ve had some excellent crew, sailing-wise, who were girls, although none with your mechanical experience. And even if they can’t sail it’s a great help to have someone to cook when things are going wrong.‘
‘I see,’ Sidonie said again, mentally digesting this and wondering what else those girls had been good at.
‘What you’re wondering now, my friend Sidonie,’ he said with a tinge of irony, ‘doesn’t sit that well with the sentiments you expressed earlier.’
Sidonie raised her expressive grey eyes to his and there was a certain cool hauteur in them. ‘No? Which sentiments were those?’
‘That women can be good at all sorts of things, as you yourself are, and men should be able to accept that and see beyond the frills and furbelows. At least I think that’s what, you were trying to say.’
‘Ah,’ she murmured, not lowering her gaze by a fraction, ‘I was. I was not, however, to be seen kissing you in public this morning or, more to the point, being kissed by you after crewing on your boat.’
A look of exasperation tempered by some devilish humour came to his expression. ‘All the same I didn’t sleep with them; they were only on board for the trip down from Townsville where I…where the boat was bought, and because they were sweet, nice kids who’d enjoyed every minute of their adventure, and because I know one of their brothers rather well, I kissed them goodbye. Furthermore, in case you weren’t aware of it, it was not the kind of kissing lovers indulge in; people are very informal in this part of the world and among the boating fraternity, Miss Hill; and if those kind of quite innocent things are going to shock you all the time, we may have to rethink ‘our… association.’
‘It’s up to you,’ Sidonie said levelly. ‘I just like to get things quite clear in my mind,’ she added.
He stared at her then shook his head wryly. ‘I’ve got the feeling whatever I say will be taken down and used in evidence against me but for what it’s worth here goes—I did have a friend, the brother mentioned a moment ago, lined up for these sea trials but he broke a leg a couple of days ago. That’s how I came to be reduced to seeking strange crew, little to know how strange they were going to be,’ he said with a lethal kind of gentleness. ‘However, I have, over the years of cruising in yachts, used women crew—even strange women crew at times, which I would have thought merely demonstrated that I’m not a male chauvinist. Only to discover—’ his lips twisted ‘—that it has caused you to feel sure it’s a deep, devious ploy to lure them into my bed.’
Sidonie raised an eyebrow. ‘Can you tell me it’s never happened?’
‘Yes, I can,’ he replied equably but with less latent humour. ‘In fact I can go further and say quite categorically that I have never asked any woman to step on board any boat with an ulterior motive in mind. You’re quite safe, Sidonie, but of course I can only say it; whether you believe me or not is up to you.’
Sidonie pursed her lips then said at length, ‘All right, I’ll
accept that with the proviso that you also promise no ulterior motives develop later on——’ He swore beneath his breath, but she continued doggedly, ‘And I refuse to be embarrassed about any of this despite your efforts to make me feel so.’
Mike Brennan stared at her for a full minute,looking every bit as hawkish as he was capable of,but Sidonie’s gaze didn’t falter. Finally a reluctant and dry little smile twisted his lips as he said, ‘Why do I have the impression that if anyone’s biting off more than they can chew it’s me?’
For the first time a spark of humour lit Sidonie’s eyes although, she replied gravely, ‘I have no idea.’
‘I wonder.’ He paused, seemed about to say more then changed the subject. ‘I’ll give you a guided tour of the galley, the freezers, fridges, et cetera, and how they operate. I think that might be enough for tonight.
Would one day on, one day off suit you?’
‘What–—? I don’t-—’
‘I mean that we split galley duties between us day by day.’
‘Oh! Uh—yes, that would be fine,’ she said and hoped it didn’t sound as lame to him as it did to her. But he merely gave her a guided tour of all the facilities—the gas stove and conventional oven, the microwave oven, the ice-making machine and so on. There was no doubt that Morning Mist had virtually everything that opened and shut, not that those facilities were generally of much help to Sidonie—But I’ll think about that tomorrow, she told herself as she unsuccessfully tried to stop yawning and battled the onset of extreme weariness.
Eventually he said, ‘Mmm… I think you’d better go to bed, Sidonie, before you fall asleep standing up. And I’ll cook tomorrow-you can get acquainted with the motor ands the sails if you like.’
‘Thanks,’ she said. really gratefully. ‘I do seem to be very tired although don’t think I tire easily. I’m as strong as a horse normally; it’s just that—’ She stopped and coloured,
‘You’ve had a tough day,’ he supplied with a suppressed smile.
‘Yes … Goodnight,’ she said uncertainly.
He studied her for a moment and she couldn’t read his expression at all. Then he said quietly, ‘Goodnight, Sid. Sleep well; you really don’t have a thing to worry about.’
An Unsuitable Wife Page 2
