by Holley Trent
“He’s embarrassed. You left him hanging. He made everyone think you were going to be something you had no intention of being, and now he has to save face. I’ve been there. It’ll blow over. Maybe not soon, but he’ll back off. Maybe he’ll even stop mentioning your name to friends and staff, and his associates will know not to ask about you.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’ll be fine. Just skip the next couple of major holidays.” Raleigh grinned, and much to Bruce’s surprise, it seemed to be genuine. Apparently, something had transpired when Bruce had been away and the two had shaved down some of their hostility for each other.
Or perhaps all of it.
Of course he’d come here. Of course he’d look.
She took one of Raleigh’s hands in both of hers and, sighing, squeezed it.
“You’ll feel better tomorrow,” Raleigh said. “You just needed someone who’s been through it to tell you.”
“I’m...sorry I had to leave like—”
“Don’t worry about it. I get it.” He stood and adjusted the machine beneath his arm. “I wanted to see you were okay.”
“I’m fine.” She chuckled quietly and studied her filed-down nails. “Busy. Busy’s good, though. Trying to make something happen with this place. It’s a challenge. A good challenge.”
Raleigh nodded.
Worried he’d been mistaken about whatever impact he’d had on her life before he’d left, Bruce angled into her view.
“Hi,” she said softly.
“You weren’t there when I got back.”
She smiled again. “You weren’t there when I left.”
“You angry with me for that?”
She shrugged. Grimaced.
He sat next to her.
Immediately, she put her head on his shoulder and he took her hands. “I haven’t held anyone’s hand in weeks.”
“Somehow, that’s my fault.”
“Yes. I believe so.”
In his periphery, he caught the edge of Raleigh as he walked out of view. He closed his eyes and memorized Everley’s scent. “I got everything sorted, I think. Took some doing just because the way my grandfather set things up. I wanted to come back and tell you that, but you weren’t there.”
“I couldn’t be.”
“Are you here now?”
The question didn’t make sense, and he realized it immediately after speaking it. Of course she was there, but that wasn’t what he meant.
“Do you want me to be?” she asked in a warble.
“Oh, love, you know I do. You make things make sense for me. And I love the way you make me feel like I have a shot in hell even when I’m chaotic.”
“Leave it to the lady with the math degree to manage chaos,” Lisa said from across the room.
Bruce had already forgotten that they had an audience, but he didn’t really care about that, either. He was used to being watched.
“You should know, though,” Everley said, “that I’m staying here, at least through next fall. Probably longer. I’m not going to be in the city. Does that matter?”
Bruce stared into the fireplace and tried to do the impossible—count flames. That was easier than conceptualizing what she’d just told him—that she wouldn’t be there. She wouldn’t be close, and that was the entire point. What good was having a person if he couldn’t hold a hand, smell their hair, put his lips against that place on the jaw that always elicited sighs?
“Think about it if you want to,” Everley said. “Take your time. There’s no hurry. I’m not exactly surfing Tinder out here.”
“There’s no one on Tinder out here,” Lisa sniped.
He didn’t want to think about her Tindering or whatever it was. He just wanted to make sense of the moment. He needed to hold her tighter and remind his body that she was real again, and when that made sense, he’d somehow try to chunk the rest into portions he could manage.
The idea of her never going back scared him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
It was too late for Raleigh to drive back into the city, so Lisa found him an open room. Bruce had stepped outside to make a call on Lisa’s cell. Reception was miserable in the woods.
Lisa sidled behind Everley on the sofa and chuckled.
“It’s not funny.”
“From where I stand, it’s extremely funny. I bet if only one of them had showed up, doesn’t even matter which, you’d be in bed with him right now.”
“Shut up. I would not.” That was the last thing she’d thought when they’d arrived. The first had been Oh, shit. The second had been They’re both here? She’d convinced herself that neither would give chase when they could literally have anyone in the world they wanted.
But there they were.
“Anyway, they didn’t kill each other during the drive up,” Everley mused. “At least one good thing has come out of this.”
“Why would they kill each other?” Lisa asked.
“Because Raleigh intensely dislikes Bruce and Bruce gives him an extremely wide berth.”
“You mean that Bruce?” She crooked her thumb toward the window at the back of the lodge. It faced the bungalow she’d sent Raleigh to—the only one with a made bed. She’d told Bruce he’d have to make do with the sleeper sofa in the office. There were no other clean sheets because Everley had the only other set at the moment.
Raleigh was standing in the doorway in a white shirt and boxer briefs, looking aggrieved. Bruce thrust the phone at him.
Raleigh looked at it consideringly, then took it, put it to his ear, and disappeared into the room.
Bruce followed and closed the door.
Lisa lifted her eyebrows and smirked. “Hmm?”
“Maybe it’s work. Bruce’s band has a book coming out with Athena.” It didn’t seem like something Raleigh would do, but he’d never been able to watch train wrecks occur on the business end. He always stepped in and fixed things before disaster could strike.
“And you think Raleigh would have anything to do with that shit on a Friday night out in the middle of Bumfuck, New York?”
“Absolutely not.”
“And certainly not in his underwear.”
“Why would he open the door in his underwear?” Everley asked. “There’s a peephole in that door. He knew it was Bruce.”
“Like I said,” Lisa trilled. “They don’t hate each other or even actively dislike each other. I bet they’re friends outside of work.”
Everley guffawed at that line of patent ridiculousness and scrambled to her feet to get to the window. “No. They’re not friends.” She couldn’t see anything through the windows of the cabin. The windows were too dark. “If he’s got Raleigh talking to people for him, they’re not just friends.”
“You think they’re fucking?”
“No, but I think they fucked. That would explain everything, wouldn’t it? Why Raleigh didn’t want to work with him. Why they’ve been so snarly with each other in public. And why Raleigh seemed so disgusted when he knew I was seeing Bruce. It makes sense.”
“This is deranged. Now they’re both trying to gain an advantage with you.”
“No they’re not.”
“They are. Nobody forced them to come here. Raleigh may have backed off when Bruce swooped in because that seems to be his style, but he didn’t like it. Trust me, I was watching. I think he only backed off because that was what he thought you wanted.”
“That sounds like him,” Everley whispered, more to herself than to Lisa. Raleigh McKean was too dignified to put his personal business on blast that way, and that was what Everley was and why he was there. She was his personal business.
She’d wanted him to understand her, and maybe he did.
And of course, Bruce. She couldn’t think his name without smiling. He’d shown up, too, sounding worried that
she’d turn him away. She hadn’t even wanted him to leave.
“You don’t really think that...they’re both interested in...”
“Yes. They both want you and you want both of them. Even I can do that math.”
“Why does everything in my life have to be so complicated?”
“Probably born under a bad sign or something, but you’ll figure it out.” Lisa snapped her fingers and held out her hand. “Give them a few minutes to sort out their bullshit and then run me my phone. I don’t play that finders’ keepers shit here.”
* * *
Raleigh handed the phone back to Bruce and retreated to the bed he’d barely had a chance to turn down the covers on. He hadn’t driven to the sticks to make a fool of himself. He’d gone because he couldn’t not go and see that she was fine. She was. And she had Bruce. Raleigh was extraneous. “All set. You can retreat now.”
“No need to snipe at me. And thank you. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”
“I don’t think there were any booby traps in that conversation. That show is going to shoot straight from the hip with you because they’re in such a time crunch. Take the money.”
“Yeah?”
“They’re giving you composer credits on the show, right?”
“That’s what they say.”
“Use it as your entry into that side of the business then. Keep in mind that I’m not a lawyer. Have yours look at the contract.” Raleigh got under the covers and flicked off the lamp on the nightstand.
Darkness shrouded the room.
Floorboards creaked beneath Bruce shifting his weight.
“I’m sure Lisa would like to have her phone back,” Raleigh said.
“Why are you rushing me away?”
“I’m not. I’m simply giving you the opportunity to exit without further pleasantries. Call it reverse ghosting, if you’d like.”
“I don’t mind the pleasantries.”
Truthfully, Raleigh didn’t, either. Bruce was a rare exception to Raleigh’s intolerance of idle conversation. He could count on one hand the number of people he enjoyed listening to speak.
Two were on that property.
And two were going to be together. That would have been obvious to anyone paying half a whit of attention.
“Rushing me away is the same as you running out the door,” Bruce murmured.
The floorboards creaked again.
Raleigh didn’t say anything. Bruce hadn’t lied. It was exactly the same, even if the reasons for doing it were different.
“Why can’t we talk?”
“Because—” Raleigh clamped his teeth on the truth and scrounged in his brain for anything that wasn’t a true lie. Because talking wasn’t enough, and he couldn’t want things he wasn’t ever going to get. He wasn’t going to let Bruce flirt and then flirt back knowing full well that the moment Everley crossed the threshold, Raleigh wouldn’t be the one being chosen.
He supposed that in time, he might be able to be happy for them.
A long time.
Bruce turned on the flashlight app on the phone and pointed it squarely into Raleigh’s face.
Raleigh hurled a pillow at the offending device, and it must have made contact because Bruce emitted an oomph and the light disappeared. The pillow was hard as slate. He’d have to quietly take Lisa aside and inform her that if she really wanted to get that place filled up, she needed to invest in pillows that hadn’t been stuffed with bricks. People who were burned out by their day jobs wanted comfort, not punishment.
“If you’re not going to return Lisa’s phone, then go to bed. It’s late. You can go sleep with Everley. That’s why you’re here, right?”
“You’re going to sleep now, then?”
“Yes.” No.
When Bruce left, Raleigh had emails to send. Favors to call in. He’d told himself years ago that he’d never flex whatever unearned clout to get what he wanted, but for once, he’d make an exception. He could have full character reports on everyone involved in the show Bruce was attaching himself to by morning. In the end, it’d be up to Bruce to decide if the venture was worth attaching his musicianship to, but Raleigh wanted him to know the whole truth. Time was just as expensive as talent, and he didn’t want Bruce getting burned.
“You know damn well you’ve got the only bed in the place,” Bruce said after a minute.
Raleigh could only see the outline of him, but that was enough. His mind could fill in all the blanks. Where his lips were. What his hands were probably doing.
He closed his eyes, anyway. The outline was a tease. “Sofa’s long enough.”
“Sofa’s hard as bricks. You know, I like the Raleigh who’s nice to me better.”
Raleigh liked the way being that Raleigh felt, until he stopped to think.
“What would you have me treat you like, Bruce? Hmm?” Raleigh asked with a tinge of frustration. “Like a friend? Like the lover you’re not? A business partner? A peer? Tell me what you want, and I’ll try to accommodate you.”
The floorboards creaked again. Raleigh opened his eyes and watched the long, lean outline cut slowly from one end of the footboard to the other, and then back. “You can’t be kind without being...any of those things?”
“No. I tend to need to know which way I’ll end up being used so I’m not surprised when it happens.”
“I don’t intend to use you. I don’t have people, lots of people, who I’d want to interfere. But you’re good at it. And classy.”
Raleigh snorted. “I suppose I do a good job of pretending. I don’t mind helping you. It’s just...”
Tell him the truth and send him to bed.
Raleigh wanted out of the misery. He wanted the anticipation squashed, because there wasn’t going to be anything for him. He wasn’t going to be Everley’s boyfriend and Bruce certainly wouldn’t need him if he had her.
He has her...
He expelled a dry laugh and thumped the heel of his palm against his forehead.
The tone and style in Everley’s unusual email from weeks ago suddenly made sense. Those words were from an angry Bruce, not some random hacker. He’d been rushing in to Everley’s defense because he’d figured out long before Raleigh had that she was worth it.
“Well,” Raleigh said through what felt like a throat full of gravel. “This afternoon when you came into my office, I didn’t anticipate that I’d be delivering you into the arms of the woman I was intending to pursue. But here we are. You standing here is like torture for me. Do you understand that?”
Torture in so many ways.
With the lights off, Raleigh couldn’t tell if Bruce’s silence was due to shock or distraction, and he didn’t really want to know, either. He needed to care less what Bruce thought and what Everley felt, because it didn’t matter. In the morning, he’d be back in Manhattan and as much as possible, he’d pretend the two of them didn’t exist, much less with each other.
The floorboards creaked again, but the sound approached Raleigh rather than being confined at the foot of the bed.
“Pursue her?” Bruce asked tentatively.
“You really thought I drove up here because I was that concerned about a coworker who’d quit?”
“That’s something a decent person might do.”
“And I might have grown up to be a decent person if I hadn’t had to throw up barriers at every turn.”
“You wanted to take her from me?”
“Bruce, you left her.”
“No, I was coming back, don’t you understand? When I was done. I said I was going to be gone for an age because—fuck, she thinks I didn’t want to hold on to her? That I’d just move on to the next person and forget?”
“Did you ask her for a commitment?”
“No. I just assumed—”
“Right, you assumed, and a
ssumption is quite a murky swamp, isn’t it? It’s a dangerous place filled with traps you needlessly walk straight into. You assumed, but I was there, Bruce. You were gone. I was there.”
“You were...with her?”
“We started something.”
“And it’s not done?” Bruce asked in a panic that would have splintered Raleigh’s heart in two if there’d been anything left of it. “Is that what you’re telling me? Is that why you helped me? Because you knew I was due for a major fucking disappointment?”
He had it all twisted up.
Raleigh scrubbed his eyes with his fists and forced out some pent-up air. “I’m leaving tomorrow, Bruce. You and Everley can do what you want. I’m not going to fight with you about her. I can tell she’s very important to you and I know she adores you. Be well. I won’t interfere. You’ll have to find your own ride back, though.”
Interminable silence stretched between them. Raleigh kept his lips pressed tightly together because there was nothing left to say that would further the discussion. He risked hurting rather than harming, and Bruce didn’t deserve it.
The right end corner of the bed sank, and then bounced with the telltale rhythm of a knee being nervously bounced.
Raleigh found himself sitting up and turning on the light because he needed to see Bruce’s face.
He needed to see if he’d hurt him, anyway, even with the silence.
Bruce sat with forearms leaned on his knees, fingers twined, lush lips tilted downward into a scowl.
“You just...fucking yanked the rug out from beneath me. You knew I was with her.”
“You left, and when you leave things unresolved, oftentimes, someone else will enter a person’s life to lend the support they need. That’s all. She was down and someone needed to prop her up.”
Bruce cut a sideways glower to Raleigh and let out a dry huff of humorless laughter. “Like Everley did for me after you walked away?”
“That’s hardly the same thing,” Raleigh said in an incredulous rush of words. “I didn’t walk away from you. I left the situation because I could see where it was going.”
“But it wasn’t going to go there, was it?”
