“It was good. I made Ryan throw up on purpose.” I grinned cheekily.
Zach shook his head, rubbing the whiskers on his chin. “You bastard, I knew you did that shit on purpose with your clients. You’re sick.”
“Yeah, well, why not when I can, right?” I was still pissed he hurt Marla when they dated. He had no right to mess with a woman he had no intentions of being serious with. I massaged Hank behind his ears as Zach closed the script he held. “Any good?” I asked.
“Nah, it’s a remake of a movie that’s already been remade. This shit’s ridiculous. It’s no wonder Evan wants to get out of acting.”
I caught Zach’s biting tone and hesitated before speaking. “Zach, is there something you want to tell me, mate?”
His eyes widened like saucers, a fright taking over his features. “No, why?”
There was something he was hiding—to the point where it affected him. “You look like complete shit, and I know what you’re telling me right now is bollocks. Whenever you decide you need a chat, I’ll be here.”
His eyes stayed on his hands as they nervously wrung the script into a funnel. “Thanks,” he muttered.
“I’m not fucking cuddling with you though. Call Evan for that shit.”
Zach punched me, barely making me budge as he got up to leave. “I’ll see you later.” He walked toward the door, turning back to glance at me. “Josh, whatever’s going on with you and your girl I’m sure it’ll turn out fine.”
My eyebrows lifted in surprise at his intuition. I nodded a thank you to him, knowing we both had shit going on we didn’t want to discuss. He left and I glanced to Hank, his head comfortable in my lap. “What are we going to do about my Red, huh, Hank? You got some answers for me?”
Little did I know tonight would be a night that changed my life forever.
Deflection. McKenzie had taken me away from my intended purpose. He took me with those strong arms and perfectly-pressed kisses until I couldn’t remember what we’d been arguing about in the first place. Okay, I remembered. He got that stupid alarm system for my house. He tried to show me how to use it this morning so it would be activated, but I couldn’t for the life of me recall what the hell the numbers were to that thing. Okay, I remembered. My birthday. Was I supposed to hit the command button before or after? If the cops ended up banging on my door because I was my own intruder, I’d have to kill Josh.
What was he doing to me? One minute he was beyond perfect, the next he went and did something pigheaded because he didn’t listen to me. I knew he meant well. I sighed louder than meant and Holden peeked up from his paperwork.
“Long night?”
I nodded. “You look happy though,” I changed the subject. He was practically glowing since him and Ana became an item. They weren’t even afraid of hiding it. The whole office knew about them.
“I am.” He scooted forward hovering over me. “I’m in love.”
Oh, those three words, and how I wanted to trust in them. It was nice, however, that others could, and I was happy for my friend. “That’s sweet, Holden.”
He nodded, “I think she’s the one, you know?”
I glanced around, making sure nobody saw. “You guys just started dating.”
“So?”
“So?” I repeated mockingly.
He laughed and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “When you know, you know.”
“I hate that saying. It’s so not true.”
“I think you’re in denial. I saw the way you gawked at that dude of yours like a doe-eyed school girl.”
My face felt flushed as I stuttered, “I-I-cl-clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bite the bullet, Marla,” he laughed, throwing my advice back in my face.
A knock on the door saved me as Roger ambled in, hands in his pockets. He looked comfortable in his polo and khaki’s, however, the tension radiated through him. “Hey guys, on my way to the golf course, I just wanted to see if I could talk to Marla for a second before I go.”
Holden smiled and gathered his paperwork to leave. “Of course.”
“Holden, you guys have done great work with these past accounts, just letting you know that,” Roger said with a steady voice.
“Thank you.” Holden nodded, closing the door after him.
“May I take a seat?” Roger asked.
“By all means,” I smiled, a bit apprehensive as to what he was going to tell me. I played with the pen in my hand as he sat back.
“I’m taking my son with me today.” He linked his fingers together and huffed. “I’m not very close with him, Marla. Never have been. But it doesn’t make what I’m going to do less difficult.”
My breath caught in my throat. He was going to fire Cameron. Today was the day. The butterflies in my stomach were rattling, but I had to keep myself collected. I shouldn’t feel relieved, but I was. I had been waiting for this. I did, however, feel empathy toward Roger for the task ahead. I stayed silent, still, waiting for him to continue.
“I’m going to have him resign his position. My hope is that you’ll consider taking his place.” His eyes stayed solid on mine.
I gulped knowing what this meant. I would be in charge of everyone. Responsibility would be tenfold. Workload would be insane. However, I was practically performing Cameron’s job already. This time it would be without him looming over me. I smiled, thrilled at the thought. “I’m honored, Roger.”
Roger smiled in return. “You’ve done a hell of a job. I can’t think of anyone better. Of course we’ll lay out all the specifics on Monday and you can think it over. But the job is yours, if you want it.” He put his hand out to shake mine and made his way to the door.
“I’m thinking I just might,” I chuckled.
“For now, wish me luck.” He gritted his teeth, and I felt bad for the task ahead of him. He would have to tell his own son he was no longer employed.
He walked out the door, and I sat back exhaling. I landed the job. I did it. My hard work paid off. I stopped to think about the accomplishment, letting it swim around in my head. The goal had been reached. I proved to myself I could work hard to achieve something.
It would change my lifestyle, definitely. More hours would be put in with clients, but I was up for the challenge. Good thing about working long hours was it would be a huge diversion from an imminent heartbreak about to take place. I needed to break up with Josh, and I needed to do it sooner rather than later.
Hank jumped off of me and barked at the door. I was surprised when I opened it to see Marla standing outside. She looked radiant, always stylish with her red waves twirling around her shoulders. Her demeanor, however, was chock-full of anxiety. I leaned forward, a peck on the lips feeling less than warm as she strolled inside and set her purse down on the hall table. She took time petting Hank, focusing more on him than me.
“I didn’t know you were coming over. I would’ve fixed dinner,” I said. She stood nervously, wringing her hands. “You alright?”
I led her to the kitchen, but I had nothing to drink but water and protein powder. “I have to talk to you about something,” she said softly.
I didn’t know what to expect, but I had a feeling it wasn’t good. “Okay.” I crossed my arms and leaned back on the counter.
“I’m getting a formal offer on Monday to take Cameron’s place as chief operating officer of the firm.”
I had expected something worse, and my relief broke through. “That man has done right by you now,” I said hugging her, brushing a kiss on her temple. “Congratulations, my love. You deserve it.” I backed away, feeling the tension in her body. “Are you not happy? I thought this was what you wanted?”
She gave one nod of her head, but kept her eyes on her fidgeting hands. “It’ll be a lot of work to take on, but I’ve waited my whole life for this. It will take some adjustment, so…” She inhaled and looked me straight on. “I think it’s best for us to part ways now, Josh.”
“What?” I chuckled in feign
amusement. “Is this a joke?”
Marla looked inscrutable. “It has to be done. Sooner rather than later, I say.”
“Why would it have to be done at all?” I countered quickly and stood up straight, my smile vanishing. “What’s going on with you?”
Her whiskey eyes darkened, and when I tried touching her, she backed away. “I’ll be busy working, Josh. I can’t let you be a distraction for me.”
“Distraction?” My heart plummeted to my stomach. “What the hell are you even talking about, Marla?”
“I’m ending this before things get too heavy. We need to quit while we’re ahead. You’re leaving in August anyway.” Her voice was strained as she held back tears. Whatever she was saying wasn’t authentic. “I can’t get too caught up.”
“You’re scared. Why are you scared?”
“I’m not scared of anything.”
“Well, in case you forgot, I told you I was in love with you. I meant it. Why don’t you believe me?” My tone escaped harsher than intended, but it was nothing compared to hers. It hit me like a bullet to the heart.
“You don’t love me. You just love the idea of me.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means that six months down the line, you’ll change your mind. Love doesn’t last, Josh. Fool yourself all you want, but whatever this infatuation between us, it was never going to last.”
I was fuming, wanting her to take back every word she uttered. “Stop bullshitting me. You love me. I know you do. You’re just too damn terrified to admit it to me or to your own self.”
A tear spilled down her cheek, and I reached forward to wipe it with my thumb. My forehead rested against hers as she struggled to pull away. “Don’t do this. Don’t.” My voice tightened and my jaw clenched. “I’ve waited my whole life for you. I want you forever.”
Her breathing stopped and she pushed away from my tight grip, her cheeks tearstained. “You can’t mean that. You’re crazy.”
“You’re crazy for breaking this off for no reason,” I shot back. “I’m saying I want to spend my entire life with you. I knew the moment I met you, and I know you feel it too.”
“Stop it!” She backed up, her voice sounding panicked as her breathing intensified. “That’s insane. Do you even hear yourself? We’ve known each other a few months.”
“Eight months.”
“Dated only a few, Josh. Besides, there’s no way this can work. You don’t even live here!”
Her shouting reverberated off the walls, and I tried to keep my tone soft to pacify her. “I’d been thinking it over, but I wanted to give us some time so we could discuss it properly. I can open a gym here, rent out my space in Los Angeles. Moving isn’t a big deal. I’m willing to compromise.”
A skeptical laugh was stifled. “I can’t believe this. You’re ridiculous.”
“Don’t criticize me for having confidence in us.” I tried to hold her again, only to have her shrug out of my arms.
“You need to step back, Josh. God, I don’t even know you!”
Her statement shocked me, I could barely get the words out. “You do know me.”
“Really? What happened with your mother?”
I stayed silent, stunned.
“You can’t just expect me to think everything will work out on faith when you avoid talking about anything having to do with your past. I can’t be with a man who won’t tell me what happened to him. Let’s face it. This isn’t going to work.”
“Don’t say that.” My jaw clenched, my teeth grinding at the thought of her wanting to leave me. “Don’t do this. There’s no reason for us to break it off. I’ll make this work.”
She was becoming hysterical. “You’ll make it work? Listen to yourself. You’re just trying to control me.”
Her statement left me affronted, and I raised my hands in defense. “Now you’re just stretching for excuses. Stop it. Tell me what’s going on. What are you so scared of? I’m trying to show you how much I care for you. I want to marry you.”
“You’re taking over everything!” The words left her mouth as if hyperventilating. “You come into my house, change my coffeemaker, make me take kickboxing, put in a security system without asking me, and now you want me to give you my entire life? I can’t just give that to you!”
“Would it be that horrible marrying me?” Her words gutted me, as if she was repulsed by the idea. My heart felt like a punching bag, each blow getting worse. “I want to give you everything in return. I’m not trying to change you. I want to make you happy, to protect you. I want to do that for you.”
“I don’t need you.”
I swallowed, trying to get past the lump in my throat. “Everyone needs someone, Marla.” I had heard the words said to me before, it was only until now I knew what they meant. “Life isn’t easy, love. There’s always going to be struggle, there’s always going to be pain, but I want to go through it with you by my side, as my partner.” I reached for her hand, but she turned from me and grabbed her handbag. “Don’t leave me.”
“Goodbye, Josh,” her voice croaked as she walked out of the door.
How could ten minutes change my life to where it felt like my whole damn world was ending? In one afternoon, this woman had destroyed everything I worked hard to find. Why was she doing this to us? Emotions ran through me from shock and anger, to disappointment, failure, and complete rejection. I felt my world spinning out of control, and in a heated moment I kicked the barstool beside me, knocking it over.
The loud clang had Hank scuttling to a corner, his yelps catching me off guard. My breathing resumed to steady, and I ran my hands through my hair as I picked up the stool and put it back in place.
My frightened dog sat shivering and approached him with caution. “I’m sorry, boy,” I whispered. “Sorry,” my voice shook as I scooted next to him. He shimmied up to me slowly as I leaned my back against the wall. He dropped his head in my lap, and I gently let my hands massage his head and ears. I could feel the old scar under his thick fur from the injury he acquired when he was a wee pup. Even though it happened ages ago, the fright was still present in him. Hank had been startled by me, even though he trusted me more than anyone. “I’ll never hurt you, Hank.”
He licked his nose and huffed as his eyes showed compassion. “What am I going to do about Red? Give her some space?”
His head tilted as he watched me. “I’ll give her space…” It was the last thing I wanted to do, but she was hurting as much as I was. The memories would never disappear. They left scars. Even in learning to trust again, that tissue would remain forever present, though hopefully the pain would eventually lessen. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”
Marry him. He wanted me to marry him? He was so impractical. I set the speaker in my car as I heard the familiar voice I needed.
“Hello?”
“Grace… can you talk?” I choked up, trying to keep focus as I drove home.
“Marla? Of course. What’s going on?”
I caught people talking in the background and felt a pang of regret. She was in Fredericksburg. “I’m sorry, you’re drinking wine and having fun, and I don’t want to ruin it.”
The noise faded. “No, it’s fine. I’d rather hide in the restroom to tell you the truth. All the people at the bar are making me uncomfortable, and these women keep looking at Evan like they want to attack him. I don’t know how many people have snapped secret photos of him by now. Like we don’t know they’re being taken. It’s so stupid. They could just ask. I mean—”
“Grace,” I interrupted, “I broke up with Josh.”
A gasp escaped her and a damn reluctant tear seeped out of the corner of my eye. “What did you do?”
She knew I’d fuck it up. “I fucked it up.”
“Yeah, and why?”
“I’m… I don’t know, I’m scared. I’m so scared he’s going to take me over, he’s going to just…”
“You love him,” she said.
A sob escaped
my throat. I tried to contain myself, “I can’t do it. I can’t fall like this. Not again. It’s too much. I feel too much.”
Grace cleared her throat as if she was getting ready to pitch. “Okay, Marla, listen. Josh isn’t Aiden. I’ve told you that before. He’s not going to manipulate you, take you away from your friends, isolate you, or make you be someone you’re not. He loves you for you.”
“How can you know that?” I cried as I pulled up my driveway. “He could be one way and then change.”
“People are going to change regardless. We all change, but we have to be willing to compromise and change with them. This isn’t a bad thing.”
I was exhausted, running on empty. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. “I didn’t tell him I loved him back. He told me, and I didn’t tell him.”
Grace chuckled, “He knows you do, I’m sure.”
“Does he really? He said he does, but I think I messed things up. He won’t want me back.” I opened my door, the alarm going off. I pressed the numbers Josh told me and it took three times before it got quiet. “He bought me an alarm system.”
“Evan told me.” Grace paused. “Things will work out.”
“I got a promotion, and I used that as a stupid reason to dump him. He read right through it.” I recalled the heartbroken expression. The pain that seared through him was also felt by myself.
“You got Cameron’s job?”
“Yeah,” I said. I kicked my heels off and moved to the kitchen, leaning on the counter.
“Congrats, girl. Now we can go to Tahiti.”
Grace joked, but I wasn’t in the mood. “I fucked things up with him.”
“Yeah, but it’ll get fixed. Have some faith.” That seemed to be the constant word in my life. As if it was that easy to just have it. “Sleep it off, call him tomorrow. He loves you and he’ll come back. Don’t worry. I know things will work out. I love you, girl.”
“Love you, too.” The call ended and I stayed still, paying attention to my breathing, trying not to overthink. Josh had laid out his entire life at my feet and I turned him away. He made himself vulnerable, and I rejected him. If I was him, I don’t think I’d ever forgive me.
A Promise Made (Promise #2) Page 21
