by Sophie Hart
Julia leaned down to Jack, taking his tiny hand in hers.
‘I don’t know what to do, Nick,’ she said, gazing pleadingly at her husband. ‘What can I do to make him better?’ She felt horrifyingly impotent, unable to do anything for her son, when her first instinct was to make whatever was hurting him go away.
‘You heard what the doctor said,’ Nick reassured her. ‘He’s going to be fine. We just need to be here for him.’
Julia took a seat on one side of the cot, as Nick sat down on the other, both of them leaning across to stroke Jack’s cheek, smooth his hair, hold his hand, as he snuffled and wriggled in his sleep. Outside in the corridor, they could hear footsteps as people passed by, doors slamming shut, nurses shouting. Inside in the room it felt curiously quiet, with nothing but the sound of their breathing, and the regular bleep from the machine that monitored Jack’s heart rate.
Julia took a deep breath. ‘I wanted to apologise,’ she said to Nick. ‘For this morning. I don’t know what I was even thinking. I should have told Valerie to shove her stupid demands. Do you know what she got me there for? What her so-called “emergency” actually was?’ Julia laughed in disbelief. ‘The venue couldn’t offer the asparagus starter any more, and she needed to have stuffed mushrooms instead.’
Nick shook his head. ‘She’s crazy. Seriously, Jules, from everything you’ve told me, that woman is Looney-tunes.’
‘I know. Aimee was so sweet – she actually gave me a lift here. We’ll need to pick up my car from their house – but I’m this close,’ Julia held up her thumb and forefinger, an inch of space between them, ‘to telling Valerie to just sod off. If it wasn’t for Aimee, I’d have resigned from this job weeks ago.’
‘Stick with it,’ Nick insisted. ‘You’ve put so much hard work into that wedding, and in a matter of weeks it’ll all be over. Today was just… really unfortunate. And there’s nothing to apologise for. I’m the one who should be apologising. I’ve been going over and over it in my mind. The whole drive to the hospital, I couldn’t stop thinking that if anything happened to Jack, it would all be my fault.’
Nick leaned in closer to his son, giving his hand a little squeeze, trying to hide the fact that he was welling up once again.
‘No, it wouldn’t,’ Julia insisted. ‘Neither of us could have predicted this.’
‘But I should have been there. You were right – your job’s important and I should have supported you, instead of insisting on going to Jonny’s.’
‘We’ll drive ourselves mad if we keep going on like this, Nick. We can’t—’
‘I have to,’ he interrupted. There were things he’d been meaning to say for a while, and now was the time to get everything off his chest. ‘I just… You were absolutely right with what you said before. When we had that talk in the Lake District, and you were worried that Jack and I weren’t bonding. And it’s true. I’ve really struggled, and I don’t know why. But today, ever since you rang, I’ve literally felt as though a piece of my heart had shattered. There was this huge, gaping hole inside me, and I knew I would have given anything – anything – for Jack to be okay again.’
For the first time, Julia let go of Jack’s hand and reached across to take Nick’s. She didn’t speak; she knew it was important to let him talk.
‘And now I feel like I’ve been given a second chance. I absolutely need to make up for lost time, with both of you. I’m so proud that I have a son, and a beautiful wife, and right now I feel like the luckiest man alive.’
For the longest time, the two of them sat in silence, holding hands as they stared down at their son, both lost in their own thoughts. Julia’s thumb brushed over her husband’s knuckles, rubbing back and forth in a soothing gesture. It was enough; there was nothing that needed to be said.
Then Jack coughed, and both of them sat bolt upright, looking at him in concern. Jack wriggled again, pushing his fists over his head until Julia became alarmed that he’d pull out the drip, and she reached down to gently guide his hands back to his sides. He fell still for a moment, before letting out a little cry. Julia looked at Nick in alarm, but the next moment Jack was opening his eyes, screwing up his face and blinking in confusion.
He looked straight at Julia, then said the word, ‘Mama.’
Julia burst into fresh tears, relief and happiness flooding through her, as Nick came round to her side of the cot and the two of them held each other tightly, finally believing that their ordeal was over and Jack was going to be just fine.
27
‘Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome’ – Jerry Seinfeld
Aimee couldn’t stay still. She would sit down on the sofa, flick through a magazine, then jump up and move across to the sideboard, making tiny adjustments to the angle of the photo frames, before starting the whole process all over again. She looked up at the oversized clock on the wall, realising that mere minutes had passed since she’d last checked it, and wondering when Jon would be coming home. Surely it couldn’t be long now?
Aimee glanced across at the pile of prospectuses on the coffee table, and felt a fresh pang of nerves clutch at her stomach. Her laptop was turned on, the internet open on Norwich University’s home page, and Aimee had decided that tonight was the night she was going to have a serious talk with Jon about her teaching ambitions.
She’d been inspired by the chat she’d had with Julia while they were shopping for the gift list, and knew that she couldn’t put off the conversation any longer. For the last few weeks, Aimee had been requesting details for various courses, keeping the paperwork in a secret stash at the bottom of her wardrobe where Jon wouldn’t find it.
From her investigations, she’d discovered that she could do a three-year English degree, with the teaching qualification forming part of the curriculum. The new term started in September, and the wedding and honeymoon would be over by then, so the timing was perfect. Plus Aimee needed to know that there would be something for her to look forward to in the future; something keep her busy while Jon was at work. There were days when she went stir-crazy sitting around in the claustrophobic apartment, trying to keep herself occupied.
Mostly, she needed to be sure that she had Jon’s support if she was going to do this, and that was potentially the trickiest part of all.
Aimee exhaled slowly, then walked across to the enormous American-style fridge to pour herself a glass of wine. Jon’s apartment was completely open-plan, with the kitchen, living and dining rooms all merging into one. It still looked like the classic bachelor pad, decorated in dark wood and shiny chrome, like something James Bond might choose. Aimee hadn’t really made her mark on it yet; she still couldn’t help thinking of the flat as ‘Jon’s’ and not ‘theirs’.
She’d just taken a sip of the deliciously chilled white wine when she heard the key turn in the lock. Aimee jumped, almost spilling her drink, then told herself not to be so silly.
Jon swept in through the door looking incredibly handsome, and Aimee felt her heart skip a beat. His tie was off, his shirt undone, and he looked gorgeous in a smart navy suit, all dark hair and white teeth and great bone structure.
‘Hello, darling.’ Jon strode across the room and kissed her. ‘You look positively edible.’
Aimee giggled, as he pretended to bite her neck. She was wearing a clinging dress in a flattering shade of royal blue, and she knew he’d love it.
‘Mmm, white wine, excellent plan,’ Jon grinned. ‘Could you pour me a glass? I’m just going to grab a shower and then I’m all yours.’
Relief flooded through Aimee. She loved it when Jon was like this; playful and good-tempered. She could never predict what mood he was going to be in when he came through the door.
‘Good day?’ she ventured.
A flicker of dark cloud crossed Jon’s brow. ‘It was okay. This idiot of a supplier completely messed up. He…’ There was a flash of anger, then Jon seeme
d to collect himself. ‘Anyway, I won’t bore you with that. Besides, I have a surprise for you tonight.’
‘A surprise?’ Aimee repeated, handing him his glass of wine.
‘The Sancerre? Good choice,’ Jon praised her, as he took a long swallow.
‘So what’s the surprise?’ Aimee pressed excitedly, unable to help herself.
‘I can’t tell you,’ Jon winked. ‘Otherwise it wouldn’t be a surprise.’
‘Is it to do with the wedding?’
‘Might be. Look, let me jump in the shower quickly, and then all will be revealed.’
‘Okay.’ Aimee caught sight of the brochures sitting on the table and immediately felt nervous. Jon hadn’t noticed them yet, and she thought about chickening out altogether – about simply tidying them away and never mentioning the subject.
‘There’s something I’d like to talk to you about later too,’ she blurted out, before she had time to change her mind.
‘Great,’ Jon swept past, planting a kiss on her head. ‘I’ll be out soon.’
He disappeared into the bedroom, and Aimee sat down nervously on the sofa, scrolling through the university website. It was full of pictures of young people, just like her, looking earnest in a lecture theatre, or laughing as they sat around in the park with friends, textbooks spread open on the grass around them. That was what she wanted for herself, Aimee realised, with a sudden pang of longing.
True to his word, Jon was back a few minutes later, freshly showered and smelling of expensive aftershave. Aimee was surprised to see him dressed in jeans and a fitted Ralph Lauren sweater, rather than the lounge pants and T-shirt he usually wore round the house.
‘Are you ready?’ he asked with a grin.
‘Ready?’
‘To go. My surprise.’
‘Oh, I didn’t realise it was…’ Aimee jumped to her feet, flustered. ‘Of course, let me just get my things and… Do I need anything?’
‘Just yourself.’
‘Great.’ Aimee grabbed her bag, noticing the prospectuses. She bit her lip anxiously. ‘That thing I wanted to talk to you about—’
‘Can we do it on the way?’ Jon interrupted. ‘I don’t want us to be late.’
‘Sure,’ Aimee agreed, ashamed to admit that she felt relieved, as she closed her laptop and picked up her coat. She followed Jon out to the car and soon they were speeding through the streets, cutting smoothly through the early evening commuter traffic.
‘So where are we going?’ Aimee asked, excited in spite of herself. She was pleased to note that they were heading in the opposite direction to Valerie’s house, so whatever it was, Jonathan’s mother wasn’t involved.
‘You’ll see.’ Jon’s eyes were sparkling. He reached over to rest a hand on her knee, softly stroking her thigh. ‘So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?’
‘Oh, um…’ Aimee hesitated, not really sure if this was the right time or the right setting. It certainly wasn’t how she’d imagined having this discussion. ‘Well, you know I’d mentioned before about maybe, possibly, doing a teacher training course? Nothing definite, just an idea…’
Jon’s hands tightened almost imperceptibly on the steering wheel, and he said nothing. Aimee pressed on, the words tumbling out before she lost her nerve.
‘I’ve been looking online. I actually sent off for some prospectuses, and it turns out that I could do my degree alongside a teaching qualification. It would take three years, so that’s quite a long time, but I’m sure it would fly by, and then I’d have so many more options open to me. I could go to university here in Norwich, so I wouldn’t need to move away or anything, and term starts in September so well after the wedding. But I’d need to apply quite soon if I wanted to start this year, so…’
She trailed off, leaving the thought open, hoping Jon would jump in and offer his support and agreement.
Instead, there was a long silence. So long, in fact, that Aimee began to wonder whether she’d imagined the last few minutes and never actually said the words at all.
Jon’s eyes were focused on the road, his jaw tense. Aimee opened her mouth to say something – anything – to break the uncomfortable silence, but then he finally spoke:
‘Aimee, I want you to drop this subject right now.’ Jon’s voice was low and carefully controlled.
‘But Jon, I—’
‘I said no, Aimee.’ Jon yelled so hard that Aimee jumped in fright. ‘I don’t want to discuss this. Not tonight, not tomorrow night, not ever.’
‘S-sorry,’ Aimee stuttered, her heart racing. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him so angry.
‘You can be so ungrateful sometimes, you know that?’
Aimee blinked in astonishment.
‘I’ve gone to a lot of trouble to plan this surprise for you, but did you even consider that, hmm? No. No, you didn’t. I just don’t understand you sometimes, Aimee. Did you intentionally want to ruin tonight for me?’
‘N-no. No, of course not. I just—’
‘You just what?’ Jon spat back, his voice like ice.
Aimee swallowed. ‘Nothing,’ she said quietly. She bowed her head, her hands clasped in her lap, wondering how this had all gone so badly wrong. Jon was right, she realised. This was completely the wrong moment to bring up the subject of her studying. He’d been so excited about the surprise he’d organised, and she’d spoilt everything, wittering on about herself.
‘Sorry,’ she repeated.
Jon said nothing, and they didn’t speak until they pulled into the car park on the outskirts of town. He turned off the engine and exhaled loudly, turning to Aimee and taking her hands in his.
‘You get me so riled up sometimes, you know that? You get to me like no one else does. I was so looking forward to tonight, to arranging this for you, and then I felt as though you weren’t interested, that you didn’t appreciate what I’d done.’
‘I know, I know, it was totally thoughtless of me,’ Aimee agreed, hugely relieved that he didn’t seem to be angry any more. ‘I really am sorry.’
Jon leaned across, kissing her softly. ‘I love you so much, Aimee, you know that don’t you?’
Aimee nodded, kissing him back gratefully.
‘So do you want to see your surprise?’
Aimee nodded again, looking at her surroundings more closely. They were facing a one-storey, whitewashed building, with small, high windows and peeling paint. It looked pretty run-down, if Aimee was being entirely honest. She couldn’t imagine what on earth could be inside.
‘Where are we?’ she wondered.
‘You’ll see.’
They held hands as they walked towards the building together. Jon pushed open the door, leading Aimee through into a narrow corridor, with noticeboards on the wall and a small changing area off to one side. From somewhere in the building, Aimee could hear music playing. She frowned at Jon, but he simply smiled back. He walked confidently to wherever they were going, and it was clear he’d been here before.
As they passed through a set of double doors, Jon stopped, indicating that Aimee should go ahead. She stepped into a large, empty room, with a sleek wooden floor. Mirrors ran along the full length of one side, with a barre attached at waist height. It looked like a dance studio.
‘Hi, you must be Aimee.’
She jumped as the man approached; she hadn’t noticed him in the corner. He was wearing black sweatpants and a tight black T-shirt, and he smiled as he shook hands with her.
‘I’m Alex. Good to see you again, Jon,’ he added, turning to her fiancé.
‘I still don’t understand what’s happening,’ Aimee confessed.
Jon simply grinned, as he took her in his arms and began swaying her in time to the music. As it reached the chorus, Aimee suddenly recognised the song – ‘It Had to Be You’, by Frank Sinatra.
‘Welcome to your first dance, Mrs Cunningham,’ Jon murmured in her ear, as they moved across the floor. ‘I thought it might help to get a little professional training in first.’
‘Really?’ Aimee squealed. ‘This is our first dance?’
‘Yes, darling,’ Jon nodded, delighted by her enthusiasm. ‘It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?’
‘It’s absolutely perfect,’ Aimee beamed, squeezing him tightly. She’d dreamed of having this song for her first dance; it meant so much to her. Her father was a huge Frank Sinatra fan, and she’d grown up watching him and Pauline dance around the living room to Frank’s crooning. Incredibly, it had been playing in the hotel bar on her first date with Jonathan, which Aimee had seen as a positive omen.
‘So, no “Blue Danube”?’ she added tentatively, gazing up at him. That had been Valerie’s preference for their first dance, and Aimee had been terrified that she was going to insist upon the classical piece.
‘No, of course not,’ Jon confirmed. ‘It’s our wedding day, right? Mother understands that. We’ve got to do whatever makes us happy.’
Aimee felt giddy with delight right then, as he said the words she’d been longing to hear. It was their wedding, and they were calling the shots – not Valerie. Jonathan had just confirmed it.
And it was so romantic and thoughtful of him to organise this dance lesson, Aimee thought dreamily, as Alex got to work, guiding them round the dance floor. When Jon fumbled his steps, he laughed as though he didn’t have a care in the world. Aimee adored him when he was like this – fun, caring, spontaneous. It reminded her why she’d fallen in love with him, and right now she felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
Alex showed them a basic routine, incorporating a few flourishes that they would never have managed on their own. They messed up frequently, giggling like naughty children when they got it wrong, but out of the mistakes a solid routine was slowly emerging.
‘Excellent, beautiful,’ Alex called out, as they finally managed a tricky reverse pivot, pulling it off with flair.
‘I’d forgotten what a good dancer you are,’ Aimee grinned up at Jon, her eyes sparkling naughtily. They’d gone clubbing a lot in the early days of their relationship, back when everything was casual and carefree. Lately, since he’d taken over the business, Jon never seemed to have the time or the energy.
