by Erin Trejo
“Hey Mom,” I say as I walk into the kitchen and set the bags down. I grab the garbage bags and begin to clean out last week’s groceries that turned bad. I toss everything that’s bad before loading the new stuff in. I begin my cleaning regimen as my mom sits on the couch silently. Whatever she is on it must be good.
I dump all the ashtrays and head back into the kitchen when I hear the door close. I close my eyes and hope it isn’t him, but I already know it is. I don’t want to deal with him today, but I suppose it was inevitable.
“Cherry.”
His voice is dark. I wondered so many nights if we had the same father. He wouldn’t know either.
“Hey Justin,” I say sounding as polite as I can.
“You are enabling her. When is this going to stop?” he snaps behind me.
I don’t turn to face him because I already know the look of disgust is painted across his features. I wipe the counters until I feel his hand wrap around my hip. His fingers dig in roughly as he jerks me back toward him.
“Are you listening to me?”
I swallow hard before I nod and say, “I heard you.” In my head, I pray that he lets me go. I pray that he doesn’t touch me or kiss me. I pray that one day this nightmare will be over, but just as I think he’s going to let go, his grip tightens.
“You smell good, Cherry,” he whispers making my body shiver and not in a good way. My stomach rolls and bile rushes into my throat.
“I need to go,” I say quickly trying to break his hold. I should have known that it wouldn’t work.
“Come on now, sis. Don’t you want to spend some time with your only brother?” His teeth graze over my ear. I clench my eyes closed trying to reign in the memories that assault me when he’s near me. His hand slips around to my stomach, pulling me back into his body. I can feel his hard on pressing against me.
“I really need to get going, Justin,” I say trying to keep my tone even but Justin knows. He always knows. He knows how to make me cringe and slink away. He knows how to hold me hostage in my own head.
“You remember when you were younger and I fucked you against the bathroom wall? I think that is long overdue for a replay.” His words are like ice as they skate down my spine.
“Please, Justin,” I beg him, shaking my head. I don’t want this. I’ve never wanted this.
“Oh, don’t beg, little sis. I will fuck you.” His other hand wraps around my throat. My body freezes. “Now be a good little slut and walk in there. Don’t make me get violent.”
I don’t want to move. My feet don’t want to go either but his words hold a threat. A threat that I know all too well will turn into a reality. The thought of defending myself always sits in the back of my mind. His words from before always come back. He’s always told me that he would ruin me if I told. That he would destroy my mother even more than she has destroyed herself. He has always told me that he would tell the club what we’ve done and that they wouldn’t want me around anymore. That’s not something I can handle. Regardless if I’m the club whore or not, they are my family. I couldn’t bear to lose them and Justin knows this – he’s always held it over my head. Over the years, he’s become more violent and it has become easier to submit now rather than face the possible pain and torture if I don’t.
Unwillingly, I force my legs to move and walk into the bathroom with him behind me. Justin grabs a handful of my hair, jerking my head back.
“Good girl, Cherry. Now I’m going to fuck you harder than when we were little,” he growls. He releases my hair and yanks my jeans and panties down around my ankles. I hear the sound of him pulling his own down before he shoves me over the sink.
Without any warning, he plunges into my ass as I scream in agony. His fist connects with the back of my head. Pain vibrates through my body as the world spins around me. At some point, I lose consciousness.
Chapter 9
Nuts
“They look like a bunch of bastards,” I grumble before flicking my cigarette to the ground. Mayhem chuckles.
“They are,” Tic says lighting up his own. We stand here watching the assholes as they walk around their clubhouse. Declan wanted us to check in on them. I’m not exactly sure what the hell we’re looking for.
“Dec say anything to you?” Tic asks looking toward Mayhem. He shakes his head before he says, “Just to see what they are doin’.”
“From this view, they are partyin’.” I chuckle.
Mayhem joins in when Tic slaps a hand on my chest. “Shit, look,” he growls.
My head snaps up as I see two vans pulling into the parking area. My eyes follow the movements. The guys of Viral Dead all smile and scream when they see the vans pulling up.
“New ammo?” Mayhem asks mainly to himself.
“You ever get that excited over ammo?” I ask him with a half laugh. He shakes his head when the doors to the first van open. One of the guys climbs in, and that’s when we see it. Girls are being tossed from the back of the van like pieces of meat, their arms tied behind their backs.
“Fuck!” I roar. Tic eyes me letting me know I need to be quiet but that’s just bullshit.
“We’re outnumbered,” Tic says softly. Shit, I know that already.
“Yeah you are. If I was you, I’d run,” a gruff voice behind us says.
My body turns rigid. Someone knew we were here. Shit! Mayhem turns slowly with a grin on his face and says, “You are some sick sons of bitches, yeah?”
Tic and I turn to face the man too. His gun is trained on Mayhem. I nod once at Tic and he knows what I’m saying. This is where the prospect comes in; take the heat so the guys can get out of here.
“Looks like you are compensatin’ for somethin’.” I step forward, forcing the gun to turn toward me. I can hear Tic move behind me. Mayhem takes a step back before I laugh.
“You think this shit is funny? You know we are, boy?” The man with the gun narrows his eyes at me, taking a step closer.
“Viral Dead. Look like a bunch of losers to me,” I say with the smile still in place. The man’s fingers tighten around the trigger. It makes me smile even more. I hate seeing these kinds of assholes. They think they are tougher than anyone else, but they take out their anger on women. Pussies. That’s all they are.
“I could kill you on the spot,” he snarls.
I nod and shrug my shoulders. “You could, or you could fight like a man and not a bitch,” I growl as my hands tighten into fists. My body thrums with excitement. Pure adrenaline courses through my body. The asshole in front of me lowers his gun. He clearly thinks he has the size advantage, which he does, but that doesn’t mean shit. I may be smaller than the other guys but that doesn’t make me any less strong. The man slides his gun into the back of his waistband before throwing a quick right. It lands on my jaw. My head jerks to the side before I regain my composure. I reach up and wipe the blood that trickles down my lip with the back of my hand.
“That all you got?” I ask before he throws another that lands. Now it’s my turn to strike. My fists connect with many parts of his body. We both get in a few good blows, but when I hear the sound of more guys coming, I know I need to get the hell out of here.
I glance around through my swollen eye before I start to run. A whole fucking club against me isn’t going to end in my favor. My boots pound the grass as I run. I can see Mayhem and Tic heading back toward me with more guns than they had to begin with. A few shots roar behind me, a sting coming to my shoulder. Fuck, again? Glancing down quickly, I see it’s just a graze.
“Outnumbered!” I roar as I try to catch my breath. Just as they hear me, their eyes widen and a bullet rips through my shoulder. Fuck, this time it went straight through. I’m so amped up that I don’t feel the pain.
“Go!” I growl at them. They both turn and jump on their bikes. I do the same leaving my helmet to fly off when I shoot out of here. I’m not a coward and I’m not a pussy, but when there are at least thirty guys about to blow your ass to shit, you get the hell out
of there.
The ride back to the club is a blur. I watch the mirrors behind me to make sure none of the fucks followed us. I’m ready to shoot if I have to. I was surprised when the asshole put his gun away. I didn’t think he would do it. I grin as I ride knowing that I fucked his face up as badly as he did mine. I don’t know about this gunshot though. It hurts like a bitch.
I follow the guys into the gate thanking fuck that no one followed us. I didn’t figure they would. They were all on foot, and it would have taken them a long time to get back to their bikes. Besides, they have bigger things going on at their clubhouse than to worry about three of us.
When we park the bikes, I climb off shaking my head. It all begins to fuzz.
“You got shot again, Nuts! Goddamn you are gonna be a fuckin’ piece of swiss cheese. Light me up a smoke” Mayhem says slapping a hand on my good shoulder. I nod once and grab out my pack. Bringing one to my lips, I light it and pass it to him. He slips his arm around me when Declan and Monster come racing outside, a bottle of vodka in hand.
“Another hole, huh?” Declan chuckles passing me the bottle. I take down as much as I can handle as Mayhem leads me inside.
“Doc’s on his way to patch you up again,” Monster says with a laugh. I drop onto the couch and lay my head back before swallowing another drink to numb the fucking pain. When the adrenaline wears off I know I’m going to be fucked.
Chapter 10
Cherry
I heard that someone was hurt on the ride. I didn’t hear who it was so I was prepared. I usually step in until Doc shows up. I grab my kit and head into the main room. With each step, my body aches. Justin did a real number on me this time. My head is killing me. He apparently left me to fall on my face when he was finished with me. When I woke up, I was bleeding from more than one spot, crumpled up on the floor. It hurts to sit, it hurts to breath. I’m a fucking mess trying to fix another mess. So much so that I didn’t even try to cover the marks up with makeup or bother to wash up.
“Oh my God!” I say when I see the way Nuts’ face looks. His left eye is swollen, his lips busted in more than one spot. The more I look him over, the worse I feel. I can see the hole in his shoulder where the guys must have ripped his shirt open. It isn’t too bad looking; I’m assuming it went through. I sit carefully next to him as the guys stand off to the side talking.
“What happened to you?” I whisper as a pull out my supplies. I begin to clean his face first, wiping the blood away.
“Hey, Prim! Can you grab the ice pack?” I yell over to her. She nods and disappears as I look back at Nuts.
“That bad, huh?” he grumbles. His breath reeks of alcohol. I glance over at Mayhem and catch his eyes. I narrow mine giving him that how much has he drank look. Mayhem smiles and shrugs.
“Are you in pain? I know Doc will fix you up, but I have pain medicine here,” I tell him. Cleaning his face a little more, I revel in how beautiful he is. He’s perfect. He isn’t your typical big buff guy that some of the rest of them are but he can handle himself. He’s beautiful. The softness that he gets in his eyes when he looks at me. The way he holds himself. Even his perfectly shaped lips. Not even in his bloodied and bruised state could I think he isn’t beautiful.
“No. I’m fine.” He turns his head away from me. I move my attention to his hands. His knuckles are bloody and swollen as well.
“You must have really hit him good,” I mumble.
Nuts chuckles before turning back to face me. His good eye opens slowly when he says, “You should have seen his face, baby. I fucked him up,” he slurs. I giggle a little and clean up his knuckles as Doc comes in.
“Just can’t stop getting shot at, Nuts?” he says with a laugh. Nuts nods his head.
“I’m like a goddamn magnet for them,” he says. I start to scoot away when Nuts grabs my hand. He holds tightly while Doc gets to work. I sit there rigidly and watch as he stitches him up and cleans the blood off his chest. I watch his chest rise and fall with each breath he takes. My heart kicks up a notch although I don’t know why. The man is only breathing.
“Keep him cleaned up,” Doc says. Turning to me, he commands, “Now, let me look at that head.” His words pull my attention from Nuts to him. Doc is a good-looking guy. He’s older and has that salt and pepper thing going for him, which is sexy on some guys, him being one.
“I’m fine,” I say softly.
“You’re hurt? What the fuck happened?” It’s like Nuts popped out of the dark fog he was in. He sits up quickly and looks me over closely. His hand comes to my lip, caressing it softly before he growls, “Who the fuck put their hands on you?” His eyes grow fierce. I’ve never seen them darken the way they are right now.
“No one. I’m fine.” I pull my face from his hand and stand. I won’t let them know what happened to me. I can’t. It’s too embarrassing, and if they thought I was a whore now, they would really think it if they knew about Justin. “Thanks, Doc.” I throw over my shoulder as I walk away, not letting either man get another word in.
“What’s going on?” Prim asks when I get closer to her. She already asked me earlier about the marks and cut on my head. I didn’t tell her shit either.
“Nothing. He cleaned up Nuts. We need to keep an eye on him though. I’m pretty sure he has a concussion.” Prim nods as I walk away quickly. I don’t want any more eyes on me tonight. I want to hide in my room until everyone else goes to sleep and my world slows down.
As I make my way down the hall I can hear Nuts yelling. I can’t make out what he’s saying, but he’s pissed – that much I can tell. I hurry into my room and close the door. When I walk across the room, the door splinters behind me, completely coming off the hinges. I spin around and see Nuts. His chest is heaving, his hands fisted at his sides. Declan and Tic flank him on either side watching him carefully.
“I don’t fuckin’ need babysitters!” he roars, his eyes staying on mine. I pull my gaze away and nod at Declan as he looks at me intently. He needs to be reassured that I can handle Nuts, but right now, I’m not so sure. I watch the guys walk out and close what’s left of my door. Nuts hasn’t moved an inch. His breathing is still coming heavily.
“You should sit down,” I tell him. He tilts his head to the side and studies me.
“There are a few things that I hate, Cherry. Lies are one.”
I know where this is going. I shake my head and laugh hysterically. Because how else are you supposed to react when your world is unraveling and your tightly-held secrets are on the verge of being exposed?
“I’ve never lied to you, Nuts. What the hell? Not telling you what happened to me isn’t lying,” I state as I cross my arms over my chest. He stays in his place eyeing me.
“Give me somethin’ here! Do you know what it does to me to see you hurt?” he roars.
I don’t know what to say. The words and secrets are locked deep inside me. So, I don’t say anything. I stand there, just looking back at Nuts, trying to keep the pain and emotions at bay.
His hands slowly unclench and his muscles seem to loosen a little. He walks toward me slowly, his eyes fluttering with a mixture of pain, rage and pain medicine. He stops just a few inches from me, his hand coming up to my cheek. His thumb caresses me.
“Just tell me if it’s someone in the club,” he says his voice pleading. It does something to me to hear him like this. So, open and vulnerable.
“It wasn’t anyone here. That’s all I can tell you. I’m sorry, Nuts,” I say softly.
He nods his head when something else over takes him.
“I’m gonna be sick.”
Chapter 11
Nuts
My shoulder still aches but it’s nothing I can’t handle. My eye has gone down and I can see fully out of it again. What kills me the most? Not knowing who hurt Cherry. It’s been weeks and I still don’t know anything. I know there was a lot more than she was telling me. I saw the way she walked. She was hurting and not just from her face – someone did something pretty awf
ul to her. The blood and bruises that were on her skin have since faded. The anger that I felt overwhelmed me. I didn’t know how to handle things or myself, but the pain medicine and liquor handled it for me. I sat in her bathroom throwing up like a bitch for an hour before passing out. That wasn’t my brightest moment.
“You ready for tomorrow? Gotta play the nice guys.” Declan sits next to me at the bar. He grabs a beer, passing me one. I take it and pop the top and taking a long pull.
“What do you know about Cherry?” I ask him seriously. I want to know what they know.
“Not much. Grew up around here, like Prim. Her mom was a club whore. Don’t know who her dad is. Blu always said there were so many that her mom was with you’d never figure it out,” Declan finishes before taking another drink.
“What about brothers or sisters?”
“She has a brother, but I don’t know much about him. From what I know they don’t even talk. She wasn’t as close to me as the other guys. She mainly talked to my dad.” His eyes look so far away.
“Someone hurt her, Dec,” I tell him what he already knows.
“One thing you will learn about Cherry is, she talks when she wants to. You can’t force her, Nuts. All that will do is push her away. I get it, brother. You care about her but don’t force shit on her.”
My hand clenches around the bottle. I don’t force things on anyone. Especially not Cherry. Declan stands and walks away, clearly feeling the negative energy that surrounds me. There’s no way in hell that he wouldn’t be able to. I take one last drink before shoving off the stool and heading toward Cherry’s room. Once I get there, I raise my hand and knock a few times but get no response. I sure as hell hope she isn’t in there with any of the guys because I don’t think my mind can handle that today.
“She’s outside.” Prim’s little voice comes from behind me.
I turn my head and smile before saying, “Thanks, darlin’.” Turning and heading out the end door, I stop when I see her standing there. Her hands are braced on the fence that surrounds the clubhouse. Her head is hanging down. I don’t like that posture on her. That isn’t who she is. I walk closer and rest my hand on the small of her back. She jolts a little before straightening up and looking at me.
