by Ivy Jordan
“No. I don’t really use it for myself. It’s good to have to check on clients,” I explained.
She looked so disappointed. I hated to see her so upset, but I knew it wasn’t a good time to spill the beans on what her last name actually was, or why I’d changed it.
I’d checked out her social media pages, and they were filled with pictures of her and Rob. All the posts and updates were filled with where they were going, what they were doing next, and how much they were in love. Fuck! If she saw that, there would be no way she’d believe me about him, no way in hell. I’d have to find a way to get her to remember without any risk of her seeing all the good stuff first.
“Wouldn’t I have had something for my yoga classes?” she asked.
I could feel my face turning pale as I tried to come up with an answer. She wasn’t a yoga instructor, but a personal trainer, and yes, she had plenty of accounts dedicated to her career, but they all linked to the gym that Rob Fallon owned.
“I thought you said something about closing them down until you got settled here,” I lied. Fuck, all I do is lie anymore.
She seemed satisfied enough with my response, but I could see a glimmer of confusion and doubt in her beautiful blue eyes. “Why don’t we watch a movie tonight, and just relax?” I suggested, hoping to change the subject.
She nodded and offered a faint smile in my direction. Yeah, she isn’t buying this shit no more.
I sent her upstairs to take a shower, and I stayed in the kitchen to clean up after dinner. She really wasn’t used to cooking; the mess made that obvious.
As I washed the pots and pans, my mind wandered to what Beth had warned: that I’d lose Maddie forever if I didn’t come clean soon. My fear was that even if I did come clean now, I’d still lose her. I couldn’t bear the thought of her hating me.
Upstairs, the bedroom door was closed to the guest room, but no sounds of the shower came through. I thought about knocking, just to check on her, but decided to give her some space. It was a rough day for her; I knew that.
I stripped out of my clothes and grabbed a pair of sleep pants and a towel from the closet before heading into my private bathroom.
Staring in the mirror at myself made me cringe. What was I doing? I was so selfish. I knew I’d started this to protect Maddie, but now I feared I was continuing to protect myself. I was better than this. Maddie deserved better than this.
My fists clenched so hard that veins bulged from the tops of my hands and my shoulders felt tight. I wanted to punch the image in the mirror, just knock him the fuck out.
I stepped into the shower, turning the water on as hot as I could make it, and let it roll over my sore muscles. Maddie’s blue eyes were all I could see when my eyelids rolled shut. I pushed my face into the water, letting the heat steam away the image that was haunting me. Fuck, I have to fix this. I have to tell her the truth.
I shut the water off, patted myself dry with the large plush towel, and slid on my sleep pants. As I walked out of my room, shirtless, wet hair, and ready to spill the entire story to Maddie, I stopped. She stood in the hallway, her hair wet from her shower, her bright blue eyes wide and staring right into mine. My cock twitched against the thin material of my sleep pants. Damn, she’s so beautiful.
A look of hunger in her eyes stunned me, freezing me in my spot and rendering me speechless.
Maddie moved towards me, not speaking, just slowly inching herself closer to me in the hall. Her hands reached up, touching my chest, sliding across my damp skin, and then rolling to my shoulders. She stood on her tippy toes, lifting herself up to my level. Our lips grazed against one another’s, and my mind drew a blank as to what I’d planned to do. Blood rushed to my cock, quickly pushing it against the thin material that restricted it from being unleashed.
Her kiss was so soft, so sensual that my entire body tingled when her tongue entered my mouth. “I’m sorry I’ve been so moody,” she whispered.
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry I haven’t helped more,” I admitted as she pushed against me, making me take a step back towards my bedroom.
“You’re helping me now,” she exhaled, pushing me back another couple steps.
I stood in my room, the backs of my legs at the edge of my footboard. Maddie pushed her warm body against mine, letting her cold, damp hair graze over my skin.
Her sweet, delicate hands rolled off my shoulders and back to my chest. Her body lowered in front of me, her hands following with warm caresses down my stomach until stopping at the elastic band on my sleep pants. Her fingers pushed into the material, gripping the hem tightly as she pulled downward, releasing my hard cock with a wild bounce.
I looked down, her blue eyes staring up at me and her red lips wet from her tongue sliding across. Oh, fuck yes; suck me, baby.
My hands reached into her wet locks of blonde hair while she brought her mouth to the tip of my cock. I jolted a little from the sensation of her mouth wrapping around me, and then exhaled hard as she slid her lips down my shaft.
Her eyes continued to look up at me, driving me wild with pleasure as she bobbed between my legs. My ball sack rested in her hand as she gently squeezed and released. I tightened my grip on her hair, entangling my fingers through her locks, and started moving her to the rhythm that worked best. She followed along, sucking hard on my erection, and letting her tongue drag along the large, bulging vein down my shaft. Tiny flicks, tightened cheeks, and the warmth of her saliva was enough to make me explode, but I wanted to wait. Her blue eyes penetrated my soul as she worked her mouth vigorously up and down my manhood. My grip on her hair tightened a bit more as I pulled her away from my cock. Her lips suctioned onto my flesh, and her eyes narrowed with a satisfied tease. She wasn’t ready to let go, but I wasn’t ready to come. I wanted to be inside of her, to feel her pussy squeeze me into submission.
Finally, she released with a loud suction pop in her cheek. I chuckled at her eagerness and commended her for trying to finish me off. I had other plans though: better ones.
I reached down, lifting Maddie to her feet from under her arms. Her tongue licked at her lips, savoring the flavor of the pre-cum she worked from the tip of my cock. “So, how’s this me helping you?” I whispered.
“The doctor said I need normality; this is normal, right?” she smiled.
Fuck, this wasn’t normal, but I couldn’t tell her that now. My cock was aching for her as my hands squeezed at her tiny waist. “Get on the bed,” I instructed, spinning her around in my arms so her back was to the footboard instead of my legs.
Maddie slid out of her nightgown, just a simple long t-shirt, showing off her beautiful body. Her eyes glistened against the light, twinkling as she teased me with her nudity.
My mouth lowered to her breast, so small and tender it fit perfectly between my lips. I sucked hard, pulling her nipple into my teeth for a gentle tug. She moaned so sweetly, so delicately, that my cock reacted with a twitch.
I lifted her from her feet, not releasing my grip on her sweet tit, and tossed her onto the mattress. Her legs fell open, exposing her pink flesh and soft pubic hairs to my hungry eyes.
I stared a moment, not quite ready to lose the beautiful image lying before me. “Are you gonna fuck me or what?” she teased playfully.
I grinned, let out a growl, and shook my head as I savored the sight of her tight little pussy. “Oh yeah,” I gasped.
I rummaged through my drawer until I found the last condom in the box. I ripped open the foil with my teeth and pulled out the latex protection. My eyes returned to Maddie, who now had her hands playfully caressing her body. Her fingers drew dangerously close to her pussy, sliding through her thin, curly pubes. Fuck.
I fumbled with the condom, rolling it over the tip of my cock and down the shaft as she worked her fingers closer and closer to her swollen clit.
I couldn't take it any more, watching those fingers stretch through her pink flesh. I dove onto the bed, gripping her by the thighs and scooting her towards
the headboard. My lips pressed against her ankles, slowly sliding up her leg. The scent of her sex was subtle and seductive as I neared her pussy. She moaned as my tongue slid to her pussy, tickling her labia. Her hips rocked upward, pushing my tongue into her warm hole. The flavor of her juices hit my tongue, erupting a throb in my cock.
She tasted so sweet as I lapped up her juices, sucking them from her and into my mouth. A single finger slid inside, thrusting softly into her as she moaned. My lips closed around her clit, sucking hard enough to pull it gently away from her body. The delicious sound of her heavy breathing and soft moans was stirring a wild pleasure in me that I hadn’t felt with anyone else. Maddie was my dream girl, my love, and here she was in my bed, in my home, wearing a ring she believed I’d given her.
I lifted up from between her legs as her body began to shake. My finger worked inside of her, ensuring her orgasm reached full force. Her eyes closed, her lips parted, and her flesh began to pulsate around my finger as she reached her climax. The noises escaping her lips, the way she squirmed on the mattress, and watching her chest lift and fall with heavy breaths nearly brought me to my own climax.
“Roll over,” I ordered, sliding my finger from between her legs. She quickly obliged, rolling over to give me a nice view of her perfectly toned ass.
I gave her a little slap, just hard enough to make the smack against her flesh and cause her to squeal. Her glutes were so tight, so toned, they didn’t even jiggle from my slap.
“Lift up that pretty ass,” I instructed as I positioned myself behind her on my knees.
Her body lifted from the mattress until she was on all fours. Her ass pushed towards me, exposing the pink flesh I’d just tasted. Her juices dripped from her, clinging to her thin hairs, making me want to dive back in and lap them all up with my tongue.
Maddie pushed backward, pressing her ass cheeks against my belly and letting my cock run through her swollen pussy lips. “You ready?” I whispered.
“Yes,” she gasped, rocking back and forth to create friction between us.
I was ready to explode. My cock was so hard it hurt as I pushed into her, just enough to penetrate. Her rocking wouldn’t allow me to tease her, she made that clear. Her body dropped onto my erection with a quick thrust, and then began pushing on and off of it with a steady pace. I gripped her hips, slowing her down and guiding her to a pace I could handle. Slow and steady.
My eyes focused on the arch in her back, the dip in her spine that led to her beautiful ass. Her blonde hair was starting to dry and flowing down her back. Sweat beaded up on my forehead, not from physical activity, but from the mental strain to stop myself from ejaculating too soon. I never wanted this feeling to end, this beautiful sensation of pleasure and satisfaction.
Her moans grew louder and higher in pitch as her body began to grind against me at a harder and faster pace. Fuck. She was coming again, and there was no way I could hold my climax back once she started to throb, I knew that.
The first throb was small, leaving me feeling confident that I could handle what was next. Soon the next throb started, and then a pulsation that was sporadic and fast paced. Her body clenched around my cock, squeezing it hard and then releasing for only a split second before grabbing again. My back arched towards her as her moans softened and her body began to twitch. There was no fighting the release of my orgasm, and in that moment there was nothing that made me want to. All of my muscles tightened and flexed as warmth radiated throughout my body, blasting from my cock and into the condom barrier between myself and Maddie.
My breathing was rapid, and my grip on Maddie’s hips tightened as I growled and groaned against my will from the sheer pleasure she’d just unleashed through me.
Maddie’s body fell limp, rolling to her side. I hated the abruptness of her warmth pulling away. I jumped from the bed, rushed into the bathroom, and cleaned myself up before returning. She was snuggled under the sheet, her long hair flowing down her arm, and her eyes filled with what appeared to be happiness. “You are so beautiful,” I whispered, making my way to the bed.
I pulled up the sheet, slid in behind her and pulled her into my chest to spoon.
The warmth radiating from her body onto mine was soothing, comforting, and I never wanted to let go. I couldn’t imagine losing her. I couldn’t tell her now; she’d leave for sure.
“Have you thought any more about the trip to Portland?” she asked softly.
Her back was turned to me, so I couldn’t see her face, but I imagined it was filled with hope.
“I have,” I said without offering any other details. I hadn’t thought about it, not really. I dreaded it, and I wanted to prolong it as far back as possible.
“Well, when do you think?” she probed, her head shifting to turn towards me. There they were, those beautiful blue eyes, filled with hope. Fuck!
“I was thinking after Christmas,” I replied, not wanting to disappoint her. I couldn’t take the look of disappointment in her eyes, not right now, not ever.
“So, right after Christmas?” she beamed.
Christmas was only a little over a couple weeks away. I wasn’t ready for this to end, and her visiting Portland would indeed end this. I’d secretly paid for her apartment after tracking down the landlord with the address on her driver’s license, and now I wished I hadn’t. It would be so much easier to tell her she’d been evicted and all her personal stuff donated to charity.
“Sure,” I agreed.
So, that’s that. I get to spend Christmas with Maddie, and then it ends.
Chapter Fourteen
Maddie
I snuck out of bed early to surprise Isaac with breakfast. I stood in the kitchen, staring at the ingredients in the fridge, wondering what he would like. I didn’t know him at all, or myself, and that feeling was so strong hovering over me that even in moments where I was truly happy, a dark cloud still lingered over my heart.
My eyes closed, and I tried with everything I had to remember my life with Isaac. Flashes of the photographs blew through my mind, but I couldn’t make a connection, one of my own. Tears began to flow down my cheeks as I strained for my memories to return when suddenly hands rested on my shoulders. “What’s wrong?” Isaac asked.
I turned, embarrassed that I was having another meltdown, and feeling guilty that I’d put him through so much. “I wanted to make you breakfast, but I don’t know what you like,” I sobbed, falling into his strong arms.
His chest lifted and fell, his laughter growing loud and uncontrollable. I didn’t see what was so funny. “You never made me breakfast, so how would you know?” he said softly.
His hand brushed my hair stuck to my cheek with tears, and I pulled away so I could look into his green eyes. “We’ve made some amazing new memories; why dwell on the past ones that brought us together,” he smiled.
Maybe he was right, but he still had all those memories. I had none.
“Let me take you out to breakfast,” he suggested, leaning in to kiss me on the forehead.
I nodded, unable to argue, unwilling to stay in this gloomy mood. Maybe getting out for a while would do me good.
After quickly dressing, Isaac held the door open for me to exit the house. He was so kind, so sweet, and so patient that my heart melted from his warm smile. He helped me into his Escalade and walked around to his side. Once he got inside, my mind began whirling into a storm of thoughts about how he was killing the planet with his giant vehicle. “So, what do you get in this? Eleven miles to the gallon?” I snipped. My tone startled me, unclear where exactly it came from.
Isaac laughed, “Fifteen.”
My blood was boiling as we pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. Why would anyone need such a large vehicle, especially someone without kids? Kids? My heart started to ache at the thought. Were we planning on having children? I suddenly wanted them, but maybe I didn’t before.
“Did I want children?” I blurted out.
“Yes, you wanted three: two boys and a girl,”
he responded, his eyes narrowing on mine as he spoke. “Where is all this coming from?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just have all these feelings suddenly,” I admitted.
“Feelings?” he questioned.
I didn’t know how to explain it, but it was a surge of random emotions that seemed to be triggered by very small details surrounding me. “Like memories?” he asked.
I shrugged. Maybe. I couldn’t really say they were memories because they weren’t, but they were feelings that were connecting me to who I truly was, who I once was. “Just feelings,” I sighed, pushing back into the leather seat.
I had to admit, the cool morning air was chillier than I liked, so the heated seats on his gas guzzler were comforting. “I used to love the cold,” I blurted out.
Isaac pulled into the parking lot of a small café. He turned off the truck and turned to me. “Yes, you always loved the cold,” he agreed.
“And the snow. I loved the snow,” I gasped. “I wouldn’t move to Florida; I’d never see the snow again,” I verbalized my epiphany.
My eyes were glued to Isaac, waiting on his response. I couldn’t explain the sensation I was having, but it was strong and clear. I knew I loved winter months, and Miami was summer all year long; that wasn’t what I wanted. So, why am I here?
“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Isaac replied.
How could my fiancé not know I felt that way, would I have told him? “I never told you I didn’t want to live in Florida?” I questioned. He shook his head, his eyes filled with a strange fear. “And I agreed to come here to live?” I probed.
“This wasn’t going to be permanent. We talked about moving to New York,” he said quickly, somewhat easing my worries. Maybe I didn’t tell him I wouldn’t live in Florida, just that I wouldn’t do it forever.
He got out of the truck and walked over to my side. He opened the door, took my hand, and helped me to my feet. His body pressed into mine, warm, hard, and comforting. I felt foolish for being so cynical all the time and always looking for holes in his story, or doubts about our relationship. “You hungry?” he whispered, his warm breath pushing against my neck.
