by Sara Jolene
She turned to Jarred, who smiled at her before setting his glass down and addressing Jessica. “If they need anything, please let me know. My place here in the city is empty more often than not. They’re welcome to it.”
Phoebe relaxed her fingers, sighing. Jess hadn’t even been talking about her. She’d been, once again, talking about Brad. Jarred came towards her and held out an arm, which she took with a sly smirk and wink from her best friend. Phoebe smiled and mouthed, “I’m sorry,” as they left the kitchen and headed out the front door.
Phoebe felt a little overwhelmed the moment they were in the hallway. They were out, together in the real world. They weren’t home, at the lake, where he “fit” into her world. They were in her city. The place she’d found and made herself. She took a few breaths. She tried to convince herself that this was better; the two of them being seen out together in Montrose would cause a stir. Here they were just two people having dinner. It wasn’t even interesting. There were far more interesting things for people to focus on. They stepped into the elevator as she thought about anonymity and how easy it was for her to fade into the background in a place like Philly. Anyone could be anyone and people would barely take note. Whereas back home, in Montrose and at the lake, there was closeness, a bond that ran through the town. Phoebe weighed the pros and cons of each as they rode silently to the main level of the building.
Though they hadn’t spoken and she’d been mulling, she learned a lot about Jarred in those short moments. He’d made sure to put a hand over hers so she’d not let hers fall from gripping his arm whenever they’d have to turn just slightly enough to make it a little uncomfortable to be linked. He also made sure she walked ahead of him if they couldn’t be side-by-side.
“Do you have any preference of where to eat?”
Phoebe smiled. “You coming to town really was spur of the moment, wasn’t it?”
Jarred held the door for her, and she stepped out onto the sidewalk. “Yes. But that has nothing to do with my question.”
“Just didn’t want to plan anything, then?” she asked as he followed her out the door and lifted her hand to the crook of his arm once again.
He shook his head. “Actually, one of my favorite places is just around the corner. I’d planned to go there, but it isn’t exactly fancy. If you’d like fancy, we can get a cab and go farther into town.”
Phoebe smiled. He really had thought about things. That made her feel slightly better. She shook her head. “I don’t. Let’s see this place that’s your favorite.”
The walk was short, and as soon as Phoebe realized where they were going, she gasped. She tried to hide it but didn’t pull it off.
“Everything okay?”
She nodded.
“You come here?”
She looked at him, wide-eyed, as they stood outside, under the black and white awning. “Yeah.” She paused and nodded toward the door. “Only about three times a week.”
Jarred laughed. He pulled the door open. “Sometimes the universe works in crazy ways.”
The hostess knew her by name. “Picking up takeout, Phoebe?”
She shook her head and started to respond, but Jarred beat her to it. “Nope. Table for two.”
Phoebe watched as recognition passed over Kay’s face. “Mr. Holton. We haven’t seen you in a while.” She gathered menus and turned. “Right this way.”
The building was old. Not one of the oldest in the city but still full of history. Phoebe often wondered what kind of tales the walls would tell if they’d had the ability to talk. It was dark but not so dark that you couldn’t see the person across from you or the words on the menus, which were back lit just in case. The food was excellent. Five star for sure, but they were seated at one of about ten tables. The rest of the place was a long bar. Callahan’s was a pub but dressed up with a bowtie.
Phoebe left her menu lying on the table and watched Jarred. “What’s all this about?” The words flew out of her mouth before she’d had a chance to censor them. She hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but she was also having a hard time not letting her expectations climb.
He looked up from the menu. “I thought I’d explained that thoroughly earlier.”
Phoebe wasn’t sure what to say because the truth was that he had sort of laid it all out there. He’d apologized and everything. One thing was nagging at her though. “What about Jackie?”
Jarred narrowed his eyes. “What about her?”
Phoebe felt a little silly and reached for the glass of water in front of her. She took a sip. “Well, you two have been getting cozy lately. Having meals together. Her visiting your house.” She pinned him with her eyes. She’d been wanting to ask what was between the two of them for so long that it felt better than she’d even hoped it would to finally ask. She let out a long breath and took another sip of water.
Jarred stared back, not flinching in his resolve. “Now, as it was then, we’re friends. That is all.”
“Does she know that?”
“Yes.”
“Does she accept that?” Jarred blinked, and Phoebe saw his mouth twitch. She hitched an eyebrow. “Does she?”
Jarred’s eyes didn’t waver, but the rest of him deflated. “No, she doesn’t.”
He waited a beat. Almost as if he was waiting for her to get up and leave, but then he started speaking again. “But not because I haven’t told her. I have. I’ve turned down every advance she’s made. I don’t invite her to the house, she comes on her own, and as for the meals in town…she either corners me or she wants to talk about upgrades to the salon.”
Phoebe was happy to hear that Jarred had zero feelings for Jackie, but the mention of the salon cut right through it. “What is she planning to do to the salon?”
Jarred shrugged. “She was thinking of some upgrades. Trying to make it more of a destination place like it once was, but offering more modern services like massages and things.”
“But they don’t own the salon. I do.” She swallowed. “We do.”
Jarred fixed his eyes on hers again. “I didn’t know that then. I had no idea until the will was read. But you’re right, we do. So eventually, once we figure out this thing between us, we’ll figure that out too.”
Eight
Phoebe pushed her food around her plate. She couldn’t help it. She’d been dwelling on one single sentence. He’d said, “Once we figure out this thing between us, we’ll figure that out too.” Though, it made her heart race and her mouth go dry just thinking about the two of them. The way he kissed her…when his lips were against hers was the only time in the last few weeks she’d been able to completely engage in the moment. He made her forget about everything else that was going on and just be. The property part was what was bothering her at the moment though. She didn’t want to run the lake property. There wasn’t even really much left to run.
Jarred was talking about his work. She loved the way his eyes lit up over a particular project he was enjoying. There was an innocence about him that reminded her of how he used to be. Thinking about the past brought her back to the lake, and the lake brought her right back to where she’d been. In a rut. Not able to eat and only half listening to his stories. “I don’t want to keep the property, Jarred.”
Jarred left his fork sitting on the plate as he processed what Phoebe had said. She didn’t want to keep the property. The words had cut him. He’d always known there was a chance something like this would happen. He was afraid to fully admit it, but it had been the first thought to cross his mind when the will had been read. He had thought that was his purpose in all of this. To save it. Make it so Phoebe couldn’t just walk away from it. But then he’d spent time with her and had seen her at the house, and he’d changed his mind, figuring that Rosalind had added him for some other reason that he’d likely never know. But now he knew. He’d been right the first time.
He shook his head. “You can’t mean that.” His eyes bored into hers. He hated the pain he saw, especially when he thought of how it had gotten there.
/>
“I do mean it. My life is here now.” Phoebe finally picked up her fork and raised it to her mouth. “Plus, it’s not like there’s much left to manage.”
Jarred shook his head. “The golf course is doing well enough on its own to support the entire place. I realize it hasn’t really been anything in the last few years, but I was kind of hoping you and I could change that.” Jarred wanted to tell her how he’d heard all the stories from her grandmother about what the place was like way back when. That he knew Clover Lake was where her family had been built. Where her grandparents had fallen in love, and even her mother.
They’d never talked about her mother, though. Rosalind had barely mentioned her. Jarred assumed it was too sad for her to talk about, something that they all wanted to put in the past. He hadn’t pried.
“It’s not about the money.”
That just made him angry. He could actually understand if it was about the money. That would be logical. Give him something to fight against. “Then what is it?”
Phoebe finished chewing and pierced him with her blazing eyes. Whatever he was about to hear, he wasn’t sure he was prepared to counter it.
“There’s just too much identity there. I feel like when I’m here, in Philly, or even in the courtroom or at my apartment, I’m this person who’s strong and chooses her destiny. When I’m out there…” She trailed off, and Jarred pretended not to notice the wetness in her eyes. He was silently kicking himself. He’d finally gotten her to cave and go out with him, and here he was making her cry at dinner.
“It’s okay. We don’t have to do this.” He reached across the table and took a strong hold of her hand. He held it tightly.
She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. You’re part of this. I should explain.” She swallowed hard and took a sip of water before she finished. “Every time I’m there, it’s like I’ve been transported to a different time, and in that time I’m not the same person. I’m a shy, timid girl who watches out the window for her mother to return. I’m the heir that doesn’t want the throne. I sat and listened to the stories. I’ve heard them all time and time again. I know how important that property is—was to my family, but I want different things for my life. I want more.”
Jarred couldn’t help but shake his head. He still had her hand. He lifted it off the table and examined it closely, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles gently. “You are more. The lake isn’t holding you captive, Phee. You can reach for the sky and have deep-seated roots. The lake is part of who you are. It’s part of why you’re so strong and such a brilliant attorney.” He smiled brightly, desperately wanting her to understand. She was exactly who she should have been in the exact places she needed to be. There was nothing wrong with that. There was nothing wrong with acknowledging that you aren’t the same person in every aspect of your life.
Jarred had learned that lesson the hard way. Everyone had seen the jockish lacrosse player, the one without a care in the world, tons of friends, girls chasing him, and who, through it all, had maintained great grades. But what no one had seen, what he had shared with hardly anyone, was all that happened when he went home. Playing lacrosse had been his escape. He’d been amazing on the field because he’d channeled all his anger, all the hurt, all the frustration that he carried daily, into the game. He’d run faster and harder than everyone else. He’d checked harder than anyone, and he could cut through a line of defense before most of them had known he had. When he’d lost that, or rather when it had ended, after college, he had been lost. He’d had no outlet for his aggression or frustration. He was thankful for his work because he was able to pour himself into it, but it had quickly become an obsession, taking complete control of him.
Building the house had helped. He’d had to learn to release some control. He couldn’t complete the project one hundred percent by himself. He’d had to let other people in. Let them do their jobs. Then he’d started spending more time with Rosalind, and she taught him to channel through meditation and yoga practice. He couldn’t imagine what life would be like without that outlet. Actually, that wasn’t true. He could picture it. It terrified him.
Phoebe was staring at him.
“You are absolutely brilliant no matter where you are.” He had an idea. When he’d first built the house, Rosalind had slowly convinced him to practice meditation with her. She’d taken her time getting him to realize what she’d seen all along. Maybe he could do the same with Phoebe. Maybe he could get her to see how much the lake was the foundation for the life she’d built. If she could see that, maybe she’d want to still share it with others.
“Come home this weekend.” He lifted Phoebe’s hand and kissed the back of it softly. “Let me show you.”
Phoebe melted in her chair. It really wasn’t fair when he did things like that. He had to have known the effect he had on women. It couldn’t just be her. It had to be women. The Jackie situation was still bothering her, causing her to hesitate, but there was another part of her that desperately wanted to agree to his request. She bit her lip and set her fork down. Her hand was warm in his, and the heat radiated through her arm, tickling her sides and pooling in her belly. She licked her lips, wanting nothing more than to lean across the table and press her lips against his. Instead, she sighed before nodding. “Okay.”
“How’d it go? Or better yet…where’d he go? Are you planning to sneak him in after I go to bed?” Jess laughed from her place in front of her computer as Phoebe stepped into their apartment.
Phoebe shook her head. “No. I’m not going to sneak him in. He went back to his place. We’re going to hang out this weekend.”
Jess closed her laptop as Phoebe flopped onto the couch next to her. “Ooooooooh! Well, that is exciting then.”
Phoebe rolled her eyes. “At the lake. We will be at the lake. Not here, where you’d be able to have your all-watchful eye on us.”
Jess pouted. “But what will I do for entertainment?”
“Why don’t you call Brad?”
Sadness leaked into Jess’s voice at the mention of Brad. “I think it’s time for me to realize that isn’t going to happen.”
Phoebe was shocked. “You have never taken no for an answer for anything ever. Why are you now?”
Jess shrugged.
“Talk to me.” Phoebe flicked Jess’s ear.
“Ouch! Stop that.”
“Talk!”
Jess snorted and playfully slapped at Phoebe’s attempts to get near her ear.
“I don’t know. I’ve never really had to chase a man before. I’m not really sure how it’s done. Plus, if I have to chase him, is he really who I want to be with? Shouldn’t I want a guy that wants to hang out with me?”
Phoebe thought about that. “Yeah, you should be with someone that wants to be with you, but I don’t think that Brad doesn’t want to be with you. I think he just has a lot going on. I saw how he looked at you.”
“Oh, really. How’s that?”
A phrase popped into Phoebe’s head that was perfect but also silly at the same time. Maybe it would break up the mood that had started to settle over the night. “With quiet desperation.” She giggled.
Jessica laughed. “Well, if he doesn’t look at me some sort of way soon, my desperation will not be quiet. Far from it. It’ll be loud.”
Nine
The rest of the week had flown by, and though she hadn’t seen Jarred again, he’d sent things. He’d called, and she’d been thinking about next to nothing other than him for the last few days. She’d thought he’d wowed her with his kiss before, but that night after dinner, when he’d dropped her off, he’d surprised her. She hadn’t even been able to open her eyes when he’d pulled away and whispered good night in her ear. By the time she’d gathered herself, he’d already gone, leaving her in a state of suspension that was as exhilarating as it was frustrating. She couldn’t wait to see him again so she could return the favor.
The drive had felt much shorter than usual between her daydreaming and all the phone
calls with her assistant. Melanie had handled things in her absence with a great deal of professionalism and competence. The interns had performed admirably in court. Though Phoebe wasn’t super confident about the outcome of the case, she knew that her team had done all they could. They’d be back in court on Monday for closing arguments. “Melanie. We’ll be fine. I’ll meet you at the office first thing Monday.”
Melanie’s voice rang over the speakers in the car. “But what should I do over the weekend?”
Her words hit Phoebe harder than they should have. What should the girl do? They’d prepared and prepared, and now there was nothing to do but wait. She was a young college student. She should have known what to do with a free weekend, but she didn’t. Just like Phoebe didn’t. She took a deep breath. She was going to have fun this weekend. “Call a friend. Call a boyfriend. Go out. Have some fun. Let loose a little.”
Phoebe could imagine the look on Melanie’s face. They didn’t “let loose” at Outman, Hamlin, and Burrows. They worked, and when they were done with that work, they found some more. The long pause said more than any words could have. “I mean it, Melanie. You deserve a weekend. We all do.” She laughed. “Just don’t get used to it.” Not wanting to have to argue with the girl, she picked that moment to end the call, which worked out perfectly because she’d turned onto the dirt road that would take her to the main house on Clover Lake just as she ended the call.
Pushing the button to lower the window, Phoebe felt lighter almost instantly. Being out of the city did that. She hadn’t ever noticed it before though. She pulled in a deep breath as she turned the corner and the house came into view. Jarred’s truck was in the driveway. A smile spread across her face almost involuntarily. She had been thinking a lot about him over the last few days. She’d decided to fully embrace the idea of them and let things happen the way they would. She was excited to see how their relationship could be once she allowed there to be a relationship at all.
