by PJ Fernor
As I touched her shoulders, I took a deep breath. “She deserved it.”
“Yes, she did.”
“I would have punched her.”
“I thought about it,” Lo said. “But I knew if I drew blood, I’d get kicked out.”
“So you planned it out?”
“In about three seconds,” Lo said.
“Premeditated.”
“Like a criminal.”
“Not even close to that, Lo,” I said. “I’m so sorry for what she said.”
“Me too. But, oh well. I get a long weekend. And she has my handprint on her face. I win.”
I slowly started to smile. “Sometimes I wonder if you really are my daughter.”
“The attitude?”
“Yeah. Big time.”
Lo shrugged her shoulders. “I have my moments.”
“We all do,” I said. “How about we have a good moment.”
“How?”
“Ice cream.”
“It’s cold out.”
“You can have ice cream when it’s cold out,” I said.
“So I hit a girl, get suspended, jump out of a mostly moving car… and I get ice cream?”
“Don’t let it go to your head, Lo,” I said. “Now get in the car before I leave you here.”
“You’d never do that.”
“I know,” I said. “But get in the car.”
I walked away from Lo and slipped my hands into my pockets.
This was all part of parenting. And every little part of it was new to me.
Should I have been rewarding Lo for hitting someone? Nope.
I was rewarding her for standing up for herself.
And maybe ice cream was just one last sliver of innocence for Lo.
And me.
Chapter Thirteen
It was the easy move to make when I called Ben.
I knew he’d come right over to be there for both Lo and myself.
Miss Kesslier had already dropped by, bringing over a chicken pot pie that hit the spot.
When Ben arrived, I snuck away to enjoy a hot shower for myself.
I needed a few minutes to be alone and think.
Everything Lo did and said was a reflection of myself.
That was one truth I knew and it was one truth that seemed to slip my mind more times than I cared to admit.
The fact of the matter was that we lived in a quiet, small town.
Well, mostly quiet…
The point being - we were okay here.
As a detective looking to chase down someone like The One, yeah, it got to be a little boring at times. Dealing with the same people, complaints, and small crimes. But I always had Johnny Barby in my back pocket. And Laura always allowed me to work anywhere I wanted to.
I wasn’t contained to Sandemor.
Of course, I had to be careful because of Lo.
I couldn’t throw myself into some undercover gang war sting.
But catching that robber the other night…
As much as I did not want to give both Ben and Johnny credit, that wasn’t the worse idea they came up with.
I had that thrill.
Chasing someone down.
Making an arrest.
Knowing that a bad guy was going to jail and the world was just a little bit safer.
After my shower, I fought to brush my hair in the fogged up mirror.
I snuck from the bathroom to my bedroom so I could get dressed into something comfortable.
Then as I walked down the hallway, I paused and listened to Lo and Ben.
“I could have gotten kicked out of school,” Lo said.
“Rebel.”
“No. Stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, Lo. Everyone has a breaking point. Can I give you some advice?”
“Sure.”
“Know your breaking point so you know when to walk away. And even then… sometimes you can’t walk away.”
“That was today, Ben,” Lo said with passion in her voice. “I couldn’t walk away. When you talk about my mother like that…”
“Well, just know, we have your back,” Ben said. “You’re not the kind of kid that wants people calling in favors for you. But sometimes it’s nice to know you have that.”
“What are you going to do? Pay off Principal Strong?”
“No,” Ben said. “But maybe she gets pulled over for going twenty-seven in a twenty-five.”
Lo giggled. “Ohmygod… that would be epic. Can you do that?”
No.
“No,” Ben said. “That would be really wrong, Lo. I’m just joking around.”
“Ben, I know.”
I took another step and I could see them.
Lo sitting at the dining room table, hugging her legs.
Ben standing in the kitchen, arms folded, like the protector he was.
“Can I teach you how to throw a punch though?” Ben asked.
“What?” Lo asked.
“Slapping someone? You got to hit them.”
“No, you don’t,” I said as I made my presence known.
“Ut-oh,” Lo said. “Busted.”
“Not even close,” Ben said. He put his fists up. “Come on. Let me show you how to throw a punch.”
He playfully swung at the air.
I jumped into action.
I grabbed Ben’s wrist and turned, putting my back to him, twisting his wrist until he yelled ow! and jumped up to this toes.
Lo gasped.
“Still want him to teach you how to fight?” I asked with a grin.
“Allie,” Lo said as she stood up. “You’re a badass.”
I released my grip on Ben’s hand and nodded. “Don’t ever forget that.”
“That hurt,” Ben said. He flexed his hand and rolled his wrist. “I wasn’t ready for that.”
“Don’t throw punches if you can’t fight, Ben,” I said.
“Ooohhh,” Lo teased. “Are you going to take that, Ben?”
Ben looked at Lo. “You’re an instigator.”
“Me?” Lo asked. “Never.”
“You know, I think I’m allowed to ground you,” Ben said.
“Oh yeah? How do you figure?” Lo challenged.
“The way I see it…” Ben touched his chin. “I’ve been around long enough. I’ve known you long enough. Actually, do you remember the time you swallowed a nickel? Your mother panicked and called me to come help.”
Lo’s cheeks blushed.
“I didn’t know about that,” I said.
Ben laughed. “Oh yeah.”
I almost forgot that Alex had a life here in Sandemor long before I came back to raise her daughter. That she and Ben knew each other. That Ben knew Lo.
“So what happened?” I asked.
“I made sure Lo was okay. And the end result… there’s only one real way for it to get out of her body…”
“Gross,” Lo said.
“So, I think I can ground you,” Ben said.
“You could have just said it was because you’re sleeping with Allie,” Lo said.
My face filled with heat.
Ben’s eyes went wide.
We were both speechless.
“That’s what I thought,” Lo said. “I’m going to go my room now. I have a long weekend ahead of me.”
“It’s not a celebration,” I called out as Lo walked down the hallway.
I sighed and looked at Ben.
“Don’t look at me,” Ben said. “She’s feisty. Like you and your sister.”
“You know, I sometimes forget that you and Alex knew each other.”
“Yeah. I kind of looked after her and Lo. Nothing like us though. It really hurt when she… you know.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“I think about it, a lot,” Ben said. “That nothing came of it. Not that it would change anything. And, hey, I have to give you credit for not looking into it.”
“Funny you bring that up…”
“Oh, no,” Ben said.
“Lo’s outburst today was more or less my fault.”
“How do you figure that?” Ben asked.
“You remember how I used to go for walks in the middle of the night?”
“Yeah,” Ben said. “I don’t like to think about it.”
“I don’t do that anymore. I have something else to work on.”
“Your sister’s death?” Ben whispered.
“No,” I said. “That was a hit and run. I trust the work that was done. I can’t bring Alex back. And touching that case would only hurt Lo worse. I feel like I’m ruining her life as it is.”
“Okay, you’re not ruining her life at all.”
“Look at this…”
I walked Ben to the closet and opened the door.
I pulled the blanket off the whiteboard and swallowed hard.
“Allie Down…”
“Ben,” I said. “Look at me quick.”
Ben moved his eyes from the whiteboard.
“I have to catch this guy… I have to catch The One.”
Chapter Fourteen
Ben studied the whiteboard intently.
“This is…”
His voice trailed off and never came back.
He leaned closer to the board and bent his knees.
With his hands, he drew lines in the air, his head moving left to right.
“It’s obsessive,” I said. “It’s insanity. It’s going to cost me my job. And my niece.”
“Why do you say that?” Ben asked.
“Ben, can you look at me?” I asked.
He stood and turned. “I’m looking right at you, Allie Down.”
“You heard what I said. What happened today with Lo and school and hitting someone… that was because of this whiteboard.”
“She saw it?”
I nodded.
“Shoot.”
“The blanket fell off it,” I said. “She saw it and it just… it crushed her.”
I was suddenly overcome with emotion.
I covered my mouth and shut my eyes.
“Oh, Allie,” Ben said. “Come here, sweetheart.”
He reached for me and pulled me toward him.
And there we were. Standing in the pantry closet of my apartment, him hugging me as I let a few much-needed tears fall from my eyes.
I also realized it was the first time Ben ever used a nickname for me.
Sweetheart.
Was that our thing now? Was I going to be sweetheart from now on?
It was sweet and brought a smile to my face, which helped to chase away the tears.
“I get lost in these things,” I said as I broke away from Ben. I wiped my eyes. “I get lost and forget my surroundings. Maybe sometimes I forget I’m even here to take care of Lo.”
“No, you don’t forget her,” Ben said. “Look at this case, Allie. Look what it did to you and her. To everyone. We went from investigating a body found on the ridge to a trafficking situation. And in the midst of that, you and Lo were almost brought into it. Lo was kidnapped. She was put into a cage. You had to make the decision on what to do with that guy…”
“I know, Ben,” I said. “I know.”
“So it’s no wonder you want this case,” he said. “I was there, Allie. I saw the look on your face when Laura said it was passed along.”
“How could we not be working on it?” I asked.
“It’s bigger than us,” he said. “It’s bigger than this town and the state. We don’t have the resources for it. That’s why. But what we did here is protect our town and everyone in it. You found out more information than anyone else could have possibly found, Allie. That doesn’t change what happened, but it protects all of us.”
“But it didn’t stop it,” I said. “Then again, look what this whiteboard has done. Lo broke down in front of me, Ben. She cried. And the therapy to help her through all of it is really hard on her. I didn’t think about that part. I just had a vision of catching The One.”
“Tell you what,” Ben said. He touched my chin and made me look at him. “Why don’t you let me take it from you? You don’t have to throw it out. I’ll take it. Put it somewhere. That way all this work wasn’t done for nothing. And if there’s ever a break in the case or it pops up again, then you have this.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course,” he said. “For you and Lo. She can’t be scared of her own apartment. Or even just the pantry.”
“I know,” I said. “I should have done it in my room, but I just felt focused in here.”
“That’s okay,” Ben said. He stroked my chin. “Nobody is perfect, Allie Down. Not even you. And Lo is working through her emotions too. She’s sixteen. Think about when you were sixteen.”
“Now you sound like Miss Kesslier,” I said with a grin. “And I don’t want to think about when I was sixteen.”
“Why not?”
“Because I had a crush on you, Ben. And I didn’t know how to figure it out. I was stuck with Tommy and afraid to hurt him. So I hurt you instead. Now you’re hugging me in a pantry closet while I risk losing my job because of some case…”
“And I couldn’t be happier with my life,” Ben said.
“You know, at some point, you’re going to have to stop saying all the right things to me,” I said.
“I will,” he said. “We’ll have our first argument. Not talk for a day. I’ll buy you flowers. You’ll hate them. So I’ll bribe you with coffee.”
“I can’t wait,” I said.
Ben gently kissed my lips.
I stepped out of the pantry closet and Ben moved the whiteboard with care as to not disturb or smear any of the marker.
“Check the hallway for Lo,” he whispered.
I gave a thumbs up once I knew we were in the clear.
I helped Ben to the front door and then together we worked to carry the whiteboard down the stairs and outside to his car.
Now getting it into the backseat was a little tricky, but we pulled it off when I went to the other side of the car and crawled into the back and helped.
Once the whiteboard was secured, I shut the door and stared at it.
“I’ll keep it safe, Allie Down,” he said.
I nodded. “I know you will. It doesn’t make me feel any better. Honestly, Ben, I didn’t get anywhere with it. I didn’t figure out anything new. I just wrote what I had and stared at it.”
I walked around the car and Ben greeted me with another hug.
The air was cold. It smelled like snow.
The sky was crystal clear, the stars out, twinkling away.
“You’re doing okay,” Ben said. “You’ve had some tough choices to make.”
“That comes with the job.”
“Of course it does.”
“By the way, thank you.”
“For what?”
“For you and Johnny helping,” I said. “Don’t tell Johnny I’m giving him credit.”
“I’d rather never call or talk to that guy ever again,” Ben said.
“Just shows how much you care about me, huh?”
“Exactly,” Ben said. “I’ll always be there for you, Allie Down. I told you that years ago. I meant it. I still do.”
I smiled.
It was a perfect moment between us.
It was also interrupted by Ben’s phone ringing.
My first thought was something happened with his father.
Ben answered the call and never broke his stare from mine.
When I heard him say I’ll let her know now my heart sank.
He ended the call.
“I have to go talk to Miss Kesslier, don’t I?” I asked.
“A woman’s body was found in a park… her hand’s missing.”
My stomach flipped. “What kind of person cuts off a hand?”
Ben shrugged his shoulders. “I guess we’re going to find out, Allie Down.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Let’s go,” I said.
Ben put his arms out. “Wa
it a second.”
“Why?”
“The scene’s been processed.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve had Garrison and Muldavey there helping out. We can get all the information tomorrow and start fresh.”
“Fresh? Someone was found murdered…”
“And we’re gathering information,” Ben said. “We don’t even know the victim’s name.”
“It’s our job to find out.”
“Your job is to be here tonight, Allie Down,” Ben said.
“How long have you known?”
“Long enough,” he said. “You and Lo both had a rough day.”
“You didn’t tell me about this because of Lo?” I felt my blood starting to boil. “You chose what my decision was for myself?”
“For Lo,” he said. “I can tell you everything I know right now. And we’ll get moving first thing in the morning.”
“That’s not how I work, Ben,” I said. “Look, today was emotional for a lot of reasons. I get that. Right now, Lo is in bed. She knows what she did. That situation is over with. I showed you that whiteboard… I mean, look at it. It’s in the backseat of your car. Done and over with”
Ben nodded. “I’m waiting to hear from Laura. I’m not sure how she wants to proceed.”
“She doesn’t want me working it?”
“I didn’t say that,” Ben said.
“That’s exactly what you said. So let me get this right, Ben. I can be handed a gift of arresting a convenient store robber… but not a murder?”
“I…”
“Goodnight, Ben,” I said.
I turned and he hurried around me to block my path.
“I can take you down,” I said.
“I know you can,” Ben said. “I’m willing to take that chance.”
“Someone was murdered…”
“At least a day ago, maybe more,” Ben said. “She was dumped into a ravine in the park. You know that running trail they put in next to the Wenster?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know the trail. It used to be woods and when we were kids, we would walk along the river.”
“Right. They connected the trail with the Overwood section.”
“The city,” I said with air quotes.
Ben nodded. “She was found on that part of trail. They have their detectives looking into the case, but we are going to hopefully do the same on our end. Not sure if she was coming from here. Leaving there. She was obviously on a run. The way she was dressed.”
