by K. G. Reuss
“Hey, look who it is!” Damien shouted, grinning. “It’s the Mancer! Welcome, Chosen One!”
“Eat shit, Wick,” I snapped at him, letting my arms fall back to my sides and shooting a glare at him.
He grinned wider at me as Adam and Brandon both chuckled.
“Hey, Ever,” Sloane greeted me shyly from the kitchen. “Um, how was your nap?”
“Fine,” I muttered.
Amara let out a snort, her focus on her hands as she shook her head. I wanted nothing more than to walk over and beat the hell out of her for what she’d tried to do to me, but I took a deep breath and calmed myself. I didn’t know for how long I’d be able to keep doing it though. Our peace, if it could be called that, had an expiration date.
“Ever, we made some kick ass brownies. They have chocolate chunks in them!” Chloe called out.
Amanda grinned and gestured like she was on a gameshow to the massive pan of brownies. I nodded, not sure how to react. I knew they were trying to make me feel comfortable, but it only made it that much worse.
I didn’t belong there. All of them had lied to me right from the beginning. This was what Shadow meant when he said he’d be taking me. Raiden. He’d come to warn me about the induction. I ground my teeth, unable to believe I’d been so dumb and hadn’t realized he was Shadow from the beginning. All the signs had been there. Eric had been the decoy. I’d been so focused on him that I couldn’t see past it. My anger simmered to the top again.
The front door opened, and Raiden stepped into the room, wearing his black cloak, his silver hair windswept. He glanced around quickly, his aquamarine gaze coming to rest on me.
My heart fluttered in my chest at the sight of him. My Reever. My Shadow. We were bound. The feeling was electric as it buzzed through me in his presence. It made me giddy and anxious, but my anger nullified it.
“You bring me flowers, Gen?” Jared exclaimed as Raiden hung his cloak on the coat rack.
“Did you go get more tattoos?” Amanda called out, her stare fixed on Raiden’s hands.
I crinkled my brows as I followed everyone’s gaze to Raiden’s hands. Indeed, the tops of his hands were now tatted with intricate black lines. It made him look even more badass than before. The silver rings he wore added a bright contrast to his tatted hands. One of his hands held a pretty, white daisy. He answered no one.
“For Everly,” he said in his deep, accented voice as he turned to face me.
We stared one another down for a moment as the room fell into a hush. He approached me just as cautiously as Eric had earlier. Amara got to her feet, her mouth set in a hard line.
“What are you doing?” I whispered hoarsely as he dropped to his knees before me. I cast an uneasy look around the room to see everyone standing frozen, looks from outright confusion to curiosity on their faces.
Raiden peered up at me, his eyes wavering.
“I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you, Everly. I only wanted to keep you safe. It may take a million apologies to get you to ever trust me again, but I swear to you, I’ll get on my knees and beg everyday if that’s what it takes for you to just acknowledge me.” He held out the flower.
I took it, feeling numb inside, another crack forming in my already broken heart.
He rose to his feet and leaned in, his breath warm on my skin as he whispered words meant for only my ears. “I am Shadow. Your Shadow. And I will be for eternity. These marks on my hands are in your honor. Forever. Always. I belong to you. You own all of me, Everly Torres.”
He pulled away and looked down to the flower I clutched. “It was my mother’s favorite. It’s not much, Ever, but it’s just a bit of the world I can give you if you’ll forgive me.” He went to his knees again, hanging his head so low his silver hair created a curtain around his face.
I blinked rapidly, trying to keep my tears from falling, all sorts of conflict warring it out within me. Forgive him. Hate him. Love him. Kiss him. He’s the enemy! Run, Everly. Run.
I swallowed down my tears and shook my head after drawing in a deep, steadying breath.
“Get off your knees.”
He rose to his full height, towering over me.
“Nothing has changed. You’re only making it worse.”
His face fell further, and he blinked, his eyes filled with so much sadness it made my breath catch. Eyes I used to love to gaze into, but now hurt me too much to look at.
“Please, let me fix this,” he whispered urgently.
The anger I’d been struggling to keep contained bubbled over inside me. He’d been lying to me for months. He’d broken his promises. Broken my heart. He’d brought me into Conexus. His list of offenses grew longer as I stood staring up at him. I hated the way I felt. Love. Hate. Anger. Agony. I just needed more time! So much was being hurled at me there was no way I could ever keep up with it.
I shook my head, backing away.
“I-I can’t do this.”
He reached out for me, a wild, desperate look in his eyes. He caught my hand and pulled me to him, our bodies colliding.
“I swore I’d figure out a way to be with you, Everly. I kept my promise,” he murmured, his eyes searching mine. “Let me tell you everything. Just us—”
“But you broke so many more promises to get this,” I whispered. “You betrayed all my trust. I’m sorry, Raiden. I-I can’t. I-I need time.”
“I’m giving you forever. What else can I do?”
My bottom lip quivered as I stared up at him. I couldn’t do it. I pulled away from him and fled back to my room, slamming the door behind me.
Sixteen
Raiden
I stood in the center of the living room, watching as Ever retreated up the stairs without looking back. My heart felt like it had been smashed to bits. But deep down, I knew it would be like this. I knew I’d have to work my ass off to prove to her I was loyal and trustworthy.
Knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Sorry, man,” Damien muttered, clapping me on the shoulder. “She’ll come around.”
“Yeah, she’s been through a lot,” Chloe piped up as Adam kissed her cheek.
He shot me a sympathetic look.
“Does this mean we’re postponing the celebration?” Jared called out, looking around.
I shook my head, my gaze focused on Amara who silently shook, her tears coming in waves. “Maybe for just a few hours. You guys can go do patrols or work on something else for a bit.”
“Well, we do need to set everything up in the backyard for the abilities test,” Jared called out.
“Yeah, let’s just do that.” Brandon clapped his hands and stared at everyone with wide eyes.
“We still need to make the ribs, too,” Sloane piped up with false cheerfulness.
“Mason, do you like ribs?” Amanda asked.
Mason peered from me to Amanda with wide eyes. He had no idea what he’d stumbled in on.
“Uh, bar-b-que?”
“Of course.” She nodded for him to follow her into the backyard where the grill was. “You can add the sauce. As much as you’d like.”
He glanced at me, and I gave him a nod. He shrugged and followed her outside, Brandon, Adam, Jared, Sloane, and Chloe in tow.
“Raiden, man, do you want me to go talk to her?” Eric ventured. He’d been quiet the entire time.
I shook my head. “Let her be. Damien was right. She needs space.”
“Are you OK?” he asked, glancing from Damien to me. “Damien told me everything.”
“No,” I whispered hoarsely, staring at Amara again who was now hunched over on the couch, her small body trembling. “You guys should go hang out with everyone. Help them set up outside.”
Eric and Damien glanced at Amara and nodded. Damien clapped me on the shoulder again as he passed by. When they were both gone, I went to Amara and sat beside her on the couch.
“I’ve never been good to you, Mara,” I murmured after a moment. I knew her seeing me on my knees, begging another girl
to love me had to hurt, especially when I’d barely ever hugged her.
She continued to cry.
“I should’ve told you a long time ago how I felt. You didn’t deserve this from me. You were always good to me, and I didn’t deserve you.”
She sat up and wiped at her eyes before looking at me. “What does she have that I don’t?”
“My heart, Mara. She has it all,” I answered helplessly. “I’m head over heels for her. It’s not right for you to pine away for me. You’re beautiful and smart and perfect. . . for someone else. You need to let me go.”
“Did I push you into wanting her?” she whispered. “Is it my fault you hate me?”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “I-I don’t hate you, Mara. I’m not happy with your decisions lately, but I know they come from a place of hurt. It’s my father’s fault for forcing it on us. It’s my fault for not dealing with it how I should have.”
“I love you, Raiden,” she sniffled. “And this really does hurt. I can’t sit in this house knowing you’re in love with her. Knowing you tossed me aside without trying. You didn’t even give me a chance to show you how good we could be together! W-we’re set to be married. I-I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with this.”
“Mara, I’ve been in love with someone else since I was four years old,” I answered gently. “I just didn’t realize it. I’m truly sorry I hurt you. I handled everything about us wrong. But at the end of the day, I don’t regret my choice. I won’t marry you. I can’t. I hope someday you love someone so much you’re willing to make sacrifices for them like I am for Everly.”
She nodded at me, her jaw clenched. “I already do love someone like that. Only in death will you be free of her, and then we can have our time together.”
“Mara, don’t.” I shook my head.
“She doesn’t even want you, Raiden! You just got on your knees for her and begged her to love you, and she shot you down. I would never do that to you.”
“Mara,” I said softly. “Please. Now I’m begging you. Let me go. Let us go. It’s never going to happen.”
“She should’ve died all those nights ago, Raiden. None of this would be happening right now if you would’ve just let her go! Why can’t you let her go?” Her hazel eyes were wild with desperation and anger as she plowed on, “We’re getting married soon! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to. Your father, the king, has ordered it. You cannot go against it. You know this. To do so would mean exile, Xanan dungeons. You’d lose your title as prince.” She shook her head, more tears brimming her eyes. “You don’t get a choice. You’re mine. Not hers.”
I knew I needed to be firm.
“I will not marry you, Mara. I took the V—”
She swallowed and let out a hiss of air, interrupting me. “You claim to be hers forever or until one of you dies. I wish I’d never told you where she was that night. I wish she was already dead!”
“You need to understand she could die a hundred times, and I’d be there to take it all away. Nothing will change that, do you understand me?” I shook her slightly, my anger taking over. “I’ll take the pain over and over again for her. I meant forever when I said it.”
She glared at me, her tears gone, her body tense.
“Then I hope she dies a horrible, painful death each and every time. And I hope you ache with each last breath she struggles to take.”
“I know you’re mad, Mara—”
“Mad doesn’t even begin to cover what I am, Raiden.”
“But. . .” I leveled my gaze on her, releasing her from my hold. “Don’t you dare ever talk about her like that again. I let you off easy with the last incident. You won’t be so fortunate should a next time occur.”
She rose to her feet and hardened her glare.
“Then I’ll make sure she stays dead. I promise.”
She didn’t wait for my answer. She stormed out the front door without looking back. I stared after her, knowing I’d have to keep my eye on her.
If there was one thing Amara was good at, it was keeping her promises.
Seventeen
Everly
I twirled the daisy in my fingers as I sat on my bed. Raiden’s pleas for forgiveness replayed in my head. My heart was a twisted mess.
“Damnit,” I hissed, running my fingers through my hair.
I looked down at the daisy again then to my window. I needed to talk to Nev and Marcus to tell them what I knew. Placing the daisy on my nightstand, I moved to my window and looked at how far the drop down would be. Thick ivy came up the stone walls. If it was as strong as I suspected, I’d be able to shimmy down it and make it to the ground.
I slid my window open and licked my lips, a wave of heartache sweeping over me. For whatever reason, I hesitated as I stared down to the ground. If I did this, Raiden really would be the enemy. I’d be an enemy. If anyone found out, I’d pay the ultimate price.
Sweat beaded on my brow. Locked in a life-altering choice, I drew in a shaky breath and backed away from the window, confusion and hurt warring it out within me. Anxiety joined next.
“Shit,” I growled, rubbing my arms and pacing the room. “Shit!”
I stomped over to my closet and tugged on my black Conexus attire. Screw the window. I’d take the door. If I didn’t get the hell out of there, I’d collapse beneath the stress. I needed to breathe.
I rushed down the stairs, and my heart sank as I saw Raiden sitting on the couch, his head in his heads.
Why did it have to be this way?
He was getting married. Now I’d be required to live with him and his bitch of a wife. I shoved the memory of me in his arms away. That time had ended. He said he’d kept his promise, but this didn’t seem like the solution. Being forced to watch the man I loved marrying someone else and then having to live with them made ugly tendrils of anger twine through me.
Whatever I’d done to deserve this was bullshit.
The floor creaked beneath my feet, and I froze. Raiden’s head snapped up, and his eyes swept over me.
“Are you leaving?”
Who knew a simple question could hold so many meanings.
“Yes. I-I need some air.”
My heart stumbled in my chest as he nodded and rose to his impressive height before approaching me. When he reached me, he paused.
“Be safe,” he murmured. “If you need me—”
“I know, Shadow,” I managed to whisper back, my eyes stinging with the tears that sprung up.
Frustrated, I hurriedly wiped at them. I missed one, but Raiden reached out and thumbed it away, my pain mirrored in his eyes.
“I’ll see you soon. We have to go over abilities this evening. And the girls cooked.”
“I’ll be here.”
“Thank you.” He reached out once more and thumbed my bottom lip. There was so much emotion flashing through the depths of his aquamarine eyes my breath caught in my throat.
He left it at that, moving away from me, his head down. I didn’t dare watch him go. I knew if I turned, I’d race after him and tell him how much I hurt and wanted him. Raiden Hawthorne was no longer an option. He was my enemy. I had to remember that.
“Damnit, Nev,” I seethed, banging on his dorm door.
I’d been standing there for a solid five minutes, not wanting anyone to see me. Harper told me once that Conexus could go completely unseen even to Specials. Despite knowing how to go invisible for our kind, I didn’t exactly excel at the whole Conexus level of it, so it proved useless as I stood outside his room, cursing.
Just when I was ready to break his door in, I heard his voice call out from behind me. “Damn, babe. Chill. I’m coming.”
I turned to see him swaggering toward me, his blue eyes still bright from having fed from me. It was the longest I’d ever seen his eyes stay that color. Usually, they were black within days as he pushed himself to bloodlust.
“Don’t babe me, you shithead. Where have you been?”
He chuckled as he approached
. “You’re a demanding little thing, aren’t you? Is that the new Conexus blood coursing through your veins which has increased your feistiness?”
“You know I can’t associate with you, Nev,” I snapped, glancing around, hoping no one saw me there.
“Such a bad girl,” he teased.
I frowned at him as the lock on his door clicked, and the door opened without him touching it. He raised his eyebrows at me, his lips turned up into the tiniest of smirks.
“What the hell was that?” I demanded as I darted inside, him on my heels.
“What?” he asked innocently, closing it behind him.
“Don’t play dumb, Nev. The door. You opened it without touching it.” I flopped down on his couch and stared up at him, awaiting his answer.
“Ever, baby, do you know how proud of you I am?”
I scowled at him. “Stop calling me baby.”
He chuckled. “Never, remember?”
I rolled my eyes at him as he sank into the chair across from me.
“You came to me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” I cocked my head at him. “I thought you trusted me?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I do trust you, it’s Conexus I don’t trust. I know how hard it is to disobey the general, especially considering. . .” his voice trailed off.
“Nev, I vowed my loyalty to the Dyre. You’re a pain in my ass, but you’re my friend. My grandparents believe in it. My friends believe in it. And now I do. This means something to me.”
He gave me a genuine smile, the tension melting from his shoulders. “OK. Then my statement stands. I’m proud of you.”
I bit my lip and stared at him, my anxiety kicking up. Nev got to his feet and sat beside me.
“Ever, what’s wrong? You look like you’re going to be sick. Don’t get sick on my carpet. It’s a seventeenth century Doxin.”
I nearly blurted out who Shadow was, but stopped myself, suddenly hating my double agent status. Betraying Raiden made my stomach ache. Sure, he was a jerk and had hurt me, but that was a mark of his character, not mine.
