by K. G. Reuss
“Mostly that, blood, or taking out the Order.” He cast me an innocent smile. “I’m a good distraction. Besides don’t they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?”
“I’ve never heard that saying before,” I sniffed. “I guess I can see the logic in it. But I’m not getting under you.”
“Oh come on, baby. I’ll let you be on top.”
“You’re disgusting.” I shoved his shoulder.
“All jokes aside, I can take your mind off him for a little while. You can even leave your clothes on. What do you say, Torres? Want to really take me for a spin?” “
I bit my bottom lip, all my hurt I’d been hiding away surfacing.
“No strings attached. You don’t need to love me tomorrow, Ever. We’ll be just two friends helping one another out. You’re not the only one who’s stressed and needs a moment to forget everything.”
Raiden was going to marry Amara in a matter of weeks. He was gone. Truly. My heart ached. I stared back at Nev and nodded.
He gave me another smile and rested his forehead against mine.
“Promise not to hate me or regret this in the morning? We’re simply one another’s distraction for the evening.”
“No, I don’t promise to not regret this, but I want to try,” I whispered, reaching out and resting my hand on his chest over his heart. It beat slowly beneath my touch, the lub-dub almost gentle.
He chuckled softly. “Then I best do a really good job.” He angled his head and pressed his lips to mine in a soft kiss which seemed uncharacteristic for him.
I’d kissed Nev during the lust. This was infinitely sweeter than that had been. I leaned into it more, parting my lips to allow him entry. He took it, his tongue caressing mine in a slow dance. One hand cradled my cheek while the other moved slowly south. My heart raced as he broke the kiss off, his lips trailing along my jaw.
“Just kissing. Nothing else. And no blood,” I mumbled. Memories of his bite surfaced, making me ache inside. His fangs were off limits though. I had to draw the line somewhere. I knew if I let him bite me, there’d be no going back.
Nev grunted in acknowledgement as his hands trailed down to my waist. He tugged me closer as I let my head fall sideways for him while he kissed my neck. His fingers moved up to tangle in my hair, his lips finding mine again. Our kiss grew deeper and more feverish as it progressed, both of us barely able to pull in air.
I should stop. I need to stop. Raiden. Raiden. Raiden.
He’s with Amara!
I let out a whimper as Nev’s fingers raked through my hair.
I only wanted to stop feeling. Just for a moment.
This was my moment. I pushed everything away and let go.
Twenty
Raiden
“I don’t think she’s coming back,” Adam commented as we sat around a bonfire later that evening.
I’d postponed our abilities testing, hoping Ever would cool off and show up.
“She’s probably with Harper and Abby,” Sloane offered, giving me a reassuring look which didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Well, she’s safe or Gen would be out there with her,” Damien said. “Right?”
I nodded glumly and stared down at the runes twisted over the tops of my hands.
“We could just reach out and ask her to come back so we can get our stuff done,” Jared said, clearing his throat. “I mean, it’s important we know what we’re dealing with here.”
“I say let her be.” Brandon got up from his seat and grabbed a marshmallow, spearing it onto his stick. “She needs time to cool off or sow her wild oats.”
“Are you suggesting she’s out there with another guy?” Shock painted Amanda’s voice as my heart clenched.
If she was, it would kill me, but at the same time, I probably deserved it for the shit I’d put her through. We weren’t together. And as far as anyone knew, I was marrying Amara in a few weeks. But damn, thinking about her in someone else’s arms nearly broke me into pieces, especially if that someone was Blackburn.
“We all know she’s capable of it,” Amara sneered, glancing at me.
I swallowed hard and looked away.
“She’s mad, but she’s not stupid.” Eric sighed. “Just let her chill out.”
“I’m sorry, but I think I’m missing something.” Mason cleared his throat. “Excuse me if I’m out of line, General, but you and Ever were together while you were with Amara, who you don’t want to marry? And you’re the Reever for the Mancer? Do I have my information correct?”
“Raiden didn’t know what he wanted until that little bitch entered the picture,” Amara snapped. “She ruined everything. We’d be getting married without all this drama—”
“Drama you’re creating,” Chloe muttered.
“Listen, here,” Amara huffed.
“Just shut up!” Damien grumbled, biting into his fourth s’more.
“Yes, you have the basics down, Mason,” I answered in a measured tone.
“You’re in love with her, and she won’t take you back, or can’t, because you’re getting married to someone else?” Mason pressed.
“Again, basically.”
“I’m sorry. That sucks. For all of you.” Mason turned to Amara who scowled back. “If there’s one thing I know it’s love hurts if you keep holding on to what cannot be. Maybe it’s time to just let her go. My mom used to say if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it’s meant to be.”
“And if they don’t?” I sighed and stared over at him.
He cringed. “Then it just wasn’t meant to be.”
“Right,” I muttered.
“No offense, Gen, but I don’t see how it’s fair that Ever gets to go hang out with her friends if she’s a Conexus member while the rest of us had to give our lives up when we inducted.” Jared cleared his throat and raised his dark brows at me.
“It’s not fair, and it shouldn’t happen. But the little homewrecker gets whatever the hell she wants,” Amara broke in, casting her angry glare on me once more.
“What would you have me do?” I shouted, getting to my feet. “Huh? Everyone thinks this is so easy! I’ve already brought her in here knowing full well she didn’t want it. She hates me. If I force her back, she’ll only hate me more.”
“Then let her hate you, Gen,” Adam said softly. “We can’t bend the rules for her. She’s part of us now. Our rules need to apply. At the end of the day, you’re bonded, and we’re a team. She needs to understand that. You know as well as the rest of us if this continues, she’ll have to be proscribed as per Conexus rules passed down by the Order. She’ll spend time in Xanan’s prison for her crimes. If you care for her, save her that way. It’s only a matter of time before someone brings the situation to light.” He looked pointedly at Amara who smiled smugly back at him, her arms folded over her chest.
He was right. I knew it. We all did. I only wanted her to adjust. Unfortunately, she’d have to do it the hard way.
“I’ll go find her. I need to walk off that last s’more anyway and of the three of us, she probably hates me the least.” Damien got to his feet and gave me a look.
I nodded to him.
“I’ll pull my captain card on her—fall in line or get your ass kicked.”
“Unless she kicks yours first,” Eric muttered.
Brandon laughed. “I’m going with you. Just in case she does whoop your ass. Then I’ll be able to come back and tell everyone about it.”
Damien snorted but nodded for Brandon to join him.
“I’ll find her, man. Just figure out what the hell you’re going to do… about everything. You need to break the news to your dad and the Order. Maybe that’s what you should focus on and let me handle this. OK?”
“You’re right.” I got to my feet. “I need to fire message the Order for a meeting. Report back to me once you have her.”
“Will do.” Damien clapped me on the back and left the gardens, Brandon with him.
�
�What will you do if she’s with a guy?” Sloane asked softly. “And if that guy is Nevron?”
“She wouldn’t. Not Blackburn.” The words were bitter on my tongue. I said a silent prayer my words were right though.
Twenty-One
Everly
A loud bang and crash jolted me awake.
“Wha—” I mumbled, my mind still heavy with sleep.
Nev sat up quickly from beside me on the couch, blocking me from seeing anything.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he shouted to someone who came into the room.
“I’m looking for Ever,” Damien snapped back.
“Lose her, did you?”
I rubbed my eyes. Leave it to Nev to be a jerk at the wrong time.
“If you’ll move, she can get up,” Brandon said. “We’ll be needing her back.”
“Ever, come on. Now,” Damien called out.
The gig was up. I sat up and crawled out from behind Nev, my cheeks hot with embarrassment.
“Ah, there she is!” Nev called out, smirking. “Ever, how did you end up in my arms and somehow managed to not be disrobed?”
“Shut up,” I muttered at him as I moved away.
Neither Damien nor Brandon said a word as I stared at my hands. My hair was a hot mess from making out with Nev. My shirt hung off me, the buttons nearly undone the length of it. Everything from Nev’s bare, muscular torso and my rumpled appearance screamed guilt.
“What do you need?” I huffed, raking my fingers through my tangled hair in embarrassed frustration as I chanced a peek at Damien and Brandon.
Damien stared at me, his mouth partially open, his shock apparent.
He finally snapped out of it and cleared his throat. “Uh… we… uh… need you back at the house.”
“Why?” I cocked my head at him as I attempted to fix my shirt.
“Because Conexus doesn’t associate outside our group,” Brandon supplied, shaking his head as his eyes swept over me. “You’re breaking a dozen rules right now. And breaking… other things.”
I fumbled with my buttons. “Then go away and pretend like you didn’t see me here,” I muttered, angry I’d lost four damn buttons on my shirt.
How the hell . . .
“Like hell,” Damien said, stepping forward.
Nev immediately stood in front of me.
“You’re not touching her, Wick. She can’t even button her shirt right now.”
“Then I guess she’d better find some new damn clothes because buttons or not, she’s coming with us.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I snapped, my anger flaring up. “You’re not my boss, Damien.”
“Uh, Ever,” Brandon cut in. “He actually is your boss now. He outranks you and is our captain. If he tells you you’re going, then know that you are.”
“No, I’m not. I’m not going to be a part of Conexus. I’m not going anywhere near that house again.” I rose to my feet and stomped my foot for emphasis.
I grabbed Nev’s arm. He immediately wrapped it around me and gave the guys a pointed look. Before I fell asleep, I’d decided I didn’t want to go back, and I’d just have to figure out another way to make things work.
“Ever, let me put it to you this way,” Damien said, clearing his throat, a look of disdain on his face. “There are no get out of Conexus free cards. You’re in until you’re dead. And since you can’t seem to stay dead, I’d say you’re in for the long haul, sweetheart. You know damn well this is just how it’s going to be.”
I bit my bottom lip and released Nev’s arm. I knew I had to go. Not only was this my new life, but I did have a duty to Dyre. It really didn’t matter if I didn’t want to go. I had to.
Nev, as if sensing my thoughts, turned to me. “I wish you could stay,” he murmured, cradling my face.
I could feel the guys’ eyes on me at our exchange.
“I have a job to do, remember?” I answered back.
Nev let out a soft chuckle. “I’m proud of you, Ever,” he repeated his words from earlier. “I had fun tonight.”
I nodded and swallowed hard. “I should go.”
In a surprising move, or maybe not surprising at all since it was Nev, he tugged me in and planted a kiss on my lips. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Dream of me.”
He released me, his gaze locked on mine. I frowned and cocked my head at him, wishing I could figure out what he was trying to say because he was clearly trying to tell me something. Nevron Blackburn didn’t say sweet things like dream of me without there being some underlying context.
“Blackburn, give Ever one of your shirts,” Damien called out.
Nev squeezed my hand and then grabbed his t-shirt off the chair, handing it to me. I gave Damien and Brandon a pointed look before yanking it over my head.
“Let’s go,” I said, taking a step forward.
Damien gave me a curt nod as I glanced at Nev. He smiled and winked in true Nev fashion. I returned his smile with my own shaky one and followed Damien and Brandon to the front door which sported some splintered wood.
“I’ll send someone to fix it,” Damien grunted.
“No worries, Wick. I can handle it,” Nev said.
Damien turned to him as we stepped into the hall.
“You won’t be associating with Everly beyond tonight. Take this night you had with her and create a special place in your spank bank then leave it at that. Got it?”
“I think we both know that’s not going to happen,” Nev answered back. “But feel free to throw your ego around in here. Plenty of room.”
Damien scowled at him before tugging me from the dorm, his grip tight.
“I don’t know what the hell you were thinking tonight, Torres, but I’ve never been so disappointed in anyone in my entire life,” Damien snapped at me as we walked back to Conexus house.
Brandon cleared his throat and gave Damien a look. I knew they were communicating telepathically. I hadn’t been so fortunate as to experience that with them yet. A moment later, Brandon shimmered to a black shadow before disappearing, leaving Damien and me alone.
“I’m sorry you’re disappointed,” I mumbled.
“What were you thinking? And why Blackburn?”
I shrugged helplessly.
“Are you two seeing each other? Do you love him or something?”
“We aren’t seeing each other, and no, I don’t love him. I-I was angry and hurting. I wanted to escape and feel good.”
“And Blackburn was the way to accomplish that?” Damien sighed.
I shrugged again.
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, Ever. It’s just I know how much both you and Raiden are hurting. Raiden has a lot he needs to open up to you about. Once he does, I think a lot of things will change.”
“That’s the problem, Damien. He doesn’t open up. He just keeps his secrets and expects me to follow along. I’m not that girl. I don’t want to blindly follow.”
“Raiden loves that you’re rebellious. Don’t let him make you think otherwise,” Damien cut in. “I honestly think it’s one of the reasons he’s so into you. He’s always followed the rules. With you, he lets go a bit.”
“He’s with Amara—”
“Not how you think.”
“Right. Arranged marriage and all that.”
“You’re within our ranks because the guy loves you more than he loves himself. Keeping the truth from you these last few months has nearly broken him. He wanted your safety, and not telling you afforded you that. But then he was forced into this marriage stuff with Amara. He was already in love with you for ages. At the risk of losing you, he brought you closer. He’s trying to fix it. Let him, Ever. Give him a chance. If not for him, then for yourself. You won’t regret it.”
I drew in a deep breath. “Then he needs to tell me everything. Keeping it from me that he was Shadow and that he was engaged, even if it is arranged… That was all bullshit.”
“Go to him. Sit down and just listen. Then tell him eve
rything. And I mean everything, Ever. Even about tonight with Blackburn. He needs to know instead of finding out later somehow.”
“It won’t change anything,” I muttered, my shoulders slumping in defeat. “I’m too angry with him. And he’ll never forgive me. Plus, I don’t even know who the bad guys are anymore.”
We stopped outside the front door of the Conexus house, and Damien peered down at me.
“Know this, Ever. I’ll only say it once. I admire you. I trust in you. If you say shit is wrong, I believe you. The bad guys are anyone who won’t follow you. If someone is a mole in the Order and they turn out to be the bad guys, then I walk. Just because any of us are a part of something now, doesn’t mean we always will be. We’re not stupid. We’ll go where we need to go. Even if it’s following a mancer down a rabbit hole and forsaking everything else.”
“Really?”
“Really. Raiden believes in you too. He’s my best friend. I trust him just as much. When shit gets too thick, we’ll bounce. You have my word.”
“Thank you, Damien,” I whispered.
He smiled at me.
“By the way, you looked pretty damn good with your shirt unbuttoned in that black bra.”
“Ugh, you’re such a pig. Of course you were looking.”
He laughed. “I take my victories where I can find them, Torres.”
“Noted, Wick.”
“Come on.” He nodded to the house. “Let’s get inside. No more fighting. No more running. And talk to Raiden. Got it?”
“Yes,” I sighed. “But no Raiden tonight.”
“I agree. Go wash the vamp off you first.”
He pushed the door open, and we stepped inside. Thankfully, no one was in the living room. Damien veered off to the kitchen, no doubt looking for food, while I ran upstairs. I placed my hand on my doorknob when Raiden came out of his room wearing his pajamas, his silver hair a wild mess.
His eyes locked on mine, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. I could see the pain in them as he took in my too big t-shirt. The words I needed to say to him wouldn’t come out. He averted his wavering eyes and pushed past me, disappearing down the steps.
