True Abandon

by Jeannine Colette

Broad shoulders lead down to well-defined pectorals and a narrow waist of ripped abs and the contour of his pelvis muscles. He’s like a god standing strong amongst the stone and sky. His perfectly chiseled face only adds to the immortal quality he carries.

  He clears his throat, and I quickly move my line of sight to a rock formation, pretending I was really looking at that and not how perfect his physical appearance is.

  I seem to be failing miserably because he’s wiping his mouth to cover his smile.

  “There’s a ladder on the side of the rock. You should climb up and take a dive.” I point toward the metal ladder that someone has bolted into the side of the cliff. Its rungs are slanted so I can only assume that once you’re up, you can’t come down.

  He takes off his hat. “I’ll jump if you jump.”

  “No way.” I cross my arms.

  “It’s not as high as it seems. The ladder is there so people must jump off it all the time.”

  I look up and my stomach clenches as I imagine that dropping sensation that comes with free falling.

  Jax’s bare feet walk along the rocks toward where I’m standing. When he reaches me, he places his hands along my arms to rubs them gently and I’m enraptured by the soft gaze of his caramel-colored eyes and his warm skin just inches from the skin of my torso hiding behind the sheer gauze fabric. I almost forget to breathe.

  “This isn’t like flying or sky diving. It’s only a couple feet in the air. You have all the control and pool of water to land safely in.” He leans his forehead against mine, and I close my eyes savoring the contact. “I vow to never let anything bad happen to you again. I jump, you jump. Together.”

  His fingers linger up and down my arms with a feather-like softness that has my insides melting.

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  He spins me around and grabs my hands, wading me into the lagoon. The water is deep in the center, so he lets go of my hand as we swim toward the ladder. When we reach the side of the rock, he grabs onto the bottom rung to hold himself in place while he helps me grab on, too.

  I start my climb, not looking anywhere but at the next piece of silver. I’m about halfway up when my body begins to shake.

  “You got this, baby. You’re halfway there.” His words of encouragement have me moving higher until I reach the top. I climb up on all fours and give myself a mental pat on the back. That is until I turn around.

  “Holy shit.” I back up until I smack into a rocky wall. Clenching my eyes closed, I pray that when I open them, I’ll see a way down.

  I pry one open and look to my right. It’s an edge off the cliff, as is straight ahead. To my left is a wall of rock that wraps behind where I’m standing.

  There’s a large tree growing out the side of the cliff. Its branches loom straight out, over the lagoon. I take a small step forward and look down before quickly launching myself back to the safety of the rock wall.

  “You lied,” I say as Jax appears. “It looks much higher from here.”

  I can’t breathe. The dense fog of the jungle, paired with the steamy water and complete anxiety I’m feeling over having climbed up a fucking one-way ladder has me gasping for breath.

  My jaw quivers as my body shakes. There must be something I can do to get down. There has to be a trapdoor or an elevator or maybe a helicopter to come and rescue me off of this fucking—

  “I got you,” he says, pulling me into a bear hug. “Breathe, Trish. Just breathe.”

  He takes deep breaths. They’re steady and long. Mine are short and come out in pants.

  His chest pushes mine in and draws it out. His hands caress my back and create a cocoon of safety. I take a shaky gasp of air, and slowly, my rhythm runs steadily with his.

  I bury my head into his neck and breathe in the heavenly scent, becoming enraptured in all things Jackson Davis—calming me.

  We stand here for a while, Jax not letting me go and me not wanting to be without him. I run my hand over the ridges of his back. His skin feels so smooth over the muscle. The coarse hair on his jaw tickles my neck, and I move around to avoid the goosebumps it’s giving me.

  Leaning back, I look up at him. Our arms are still entertained. “I’m okay.”

  “Good,” he sounds relieved.

  Taking my hand, he looks over the cliff and then at the tree that leans out. Tied onto the large limb is a rope. The end is weighted and sitting on the edge of the cliff.

  He points to it. “I wanted to jump together, but if you’re this nervous, I’m afraid you won’t jump out far enough. This may be an easier way for you to get down.”

  I inspect the thick, braided strands of the rope. I like the idea of having something to grab onto.

  I nod my head.

  Still holding onto my hand, he gives it a squeeze. He stands tall, chest out and chin up as he looks out at the tops of the nearby trees and up to the rest that are even taller than we are.

  “Look at how beautiful this is.” His voice is in incredible awe, the caramel lighting up with a golden hue from the proud sun.

  He’s right.

  The view is positively stunning.

  I’ve come here before with Lani, but only for a swim and then we continued hiking. I’ve never stood near the top of a waterfall and seen the view. I shift my gaze to the waterfall that is on the other side of the lagoon. There’s a current at the top, rushing toward the edge, unable to stop. As the water falls, it’s violent and powerful and with a force that is uncontrollable. Yet, at the bottom, in the pool of water that sits at the base, lies a serene place of rest where the water can finally just exist for the pleasure of enjoyment.

  While the view is beautiful, I feel very much like a baby bird in it’s nest conjuring up the nerve to take my first flight.

  Jax releases my hand and faces me. His lips part as he leans in to brush a stray hair that fell out of my braid off the side of my face, tucking it behind my ear. His hand remains on my face, and I absentmindedly fall into it.

  His other hand lands on my hip and rests there gently. My stomach drops in a good way.

  His eyes soften and the way he’s looking at me, a way no one ever has, ever could, has me swallowing hard.

  “You ready?” he asks.

  “You go first.” I push him toward the edge.

  He looks unsure. “Really?”

  I nod my head quickly.

  He runs his thumb along the inside of my palm before letting go of my hand. With two arms firm on the rope, he steps back and the runs straight-forward, kicking off the cliff and flying into the air.

  When he’s far out over the water, he lets go and does a flip in the sky before diving into the lagoon.

  The rope swings back toward me, so I catch it and look down to make sure he’s okay.

  When his head pops through the water, his hand pushes his hair back, and I let out a large sigh of relief.

  He wades, waiting for me to jump. “Come on, baby. Grab on and let it pull you.”

  I have two hands firm on the rope. It’s rough and corded and doing absolutely nothing for my feet that feel like they’re cemented to the ground.

  “I changed my mind. I can’t do it,” I cry out.

  “It’s not as far as you’re imagining. All you have to do is trust me. I promise I’ll be here to catch you.”

  “You’ll drown!”

  My palms are sweaty. I grip it harder, but my feet still won’t move. I can’t jump when I’m shivering with fear.

  I can’t believe I let him convince me to climb up here. He knows I’m petrified of heights. It’s like how he brought me on the catamaran even though he doesn’t know how to sail. It’s classic Jackson. Like the time in school, he told me we should see how far his car could get with the gas light on. We wound up stranded in the outskirts of Virginia wheat fields, hiking to the nearest gas station. And let’s not forget about the day he booked himself into a ridiculously overpriced hotel room just to see how far he could push me into forgiving him. The thought makes me so damn ang
ry I want to jump off the damn cliff and hit him in the jaw.

  “I’m not going anywhere. You can take all day if you want, but I’ll be here waiting to catch you.”

  His words make me laugh because I believe him. If this week has proven anything, it’s that Jackson Davis is one hundred percent committed to his promises.

  Six days. He’s still here.

  A decade later. He’s still here.

  Since I was sixteen-years-old, I’ve been hopeless for this guy. It’s as if I’ve abandoned all rational thought and lived a life where he’s the beginning and the end. Not because he’s tainted me—because he’s part of me.

  “I don’t want you to be afraid anymore.” His words echo through the rocky enclave and shoot straight into my heart.

  With a burst of adrenaline, I launch my feet off the rock and swing my body away from the cliff.

  A whoosh runs through my tummy as the ground gives way and suddenly I’m dangling twenty-feet in the air. I can see Jax below, but my hands won’t unclench.

  The rope has gone as far out as it possibly can and starts to swing back toward the tree.

  “Let go!” he shouts, and on command I do.

  I let go.

  Of the fear.

  Of the pain.

  Of the memories.

  Of the mistakes.

  I let go.

  My body flails as I fall from the sky. The drop causes me to smack my back against the water, and a stinging sensation creeps up where my body hit the surface.

  I plummet under.

  It’s dark and murky, and I can’t see a thing.

  For a moment, I become lifeless, letting my body become one with the dark until a current of pressure builds around me, the water pushing me up, acting as an opposing force to my body. I kick my arms and legs and ride to rise to the surface.

  When my head breaks the surface, I look up at the gorgeous, clear, blue sky and am quickly in Jax’s arms as he exclaims, “You did it!”

  I smile. A bright, huge, beaming smile. Despite the pain on my back, I relish in the fact, “I jumped off a cliff!”

  “You did,” he’s beaming as he pulls us toward the shallow area.

  When my toes touch the ground, I look up and catch my breath. The cliff now seems dwarfed, a mere rock that’s not nearly as high as it seemed before I leapt.

  “You wanna jump again?” he asks. His skin glistens in the heat, and a bead of water trickles down his sculpted chest.

  “No.” My breath is ragged from the jump and swim.

  His eyes are bursting with pride. They’re looking at me the way a man looks at a woman who is his everything. As if I’m strong and exceptional; beautiful and humorous. As if I can do no wrong.

  I can’t see my own face, but I know the way I’m looking at him is wildly different.

  Instead of pride, I only show lust—pure and unadulterated, longing to claim what’s mine. Because as much as I deny it, Jackson Davis is strong and exceptional; gorgeous and funny as all hell. I know it’s wrong, but I’m done being afraid.

  I’m ready to fucking soar.

  “Why,” he gleams a gorgeous smile from his chiseled jaw. “Too much of a rush for you?”

  “No,” I breathe out. “Not enough.”

  I kiss him.

  With true abandon, I wrap my hand around his head, pull him toward me and caress him with every drop of passion in my body.

  My kiss isn’t a chaste one—it’s sexy and devious. It’s honest and filled with more meaning than I’ve ever given. I sweep my lips across his and beg entrance into his mouth. He opens for me, and the kiss is no longer just mine.

  His arms wrap around my waist as his tongue flicks and dances against mine. I am completely lost in him, and every inch of me is on fire.

  My hands move to his face, tracing the hard stubble of his jaw. His fists grab my ass, pulling me into him—my groin lining up with his.

  I moan at the feeling of him pulsing hard against my core, cursing the fabric of our clothes as I become thirsty with the need to have him even closer.

  I lift a leg and wrap it around his back, pulling him further into me. My hip shifts up, causing friction, and I let out a gasp of pleasure.

  Jax lifts me up in the air. His mouth moves to my neck, and I drop my arms to his chest and quiver with the chills his kisses send straight down to my core.

  He walks us to the shore and sits me on a large rock. My legs are spread wide around him as he stands between my thighs.

  I run my thumb over his lips. He takes it in his mouth and sucks slightly. I remove it and place it into my mouth, mimicking his action.

  His eyes darken. The lust penetrating from within.

  I dig my heels into his backside and pull him toward me. We stare at each other feeling the magnitude of the moment. I haven’t been this intimate, truly connected with someone since the last time we were together.

  I lift my hand to my braid, removing the small elastic at the end and unravel the hair, my fingers separating the strands so they fall wild and free.

  He lifts a hand to the side of my face. His thumb running delicate circles over my cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I lower the straps of my dress and the bathing suit underneath, exposing my breasts. If I weren’t so close to him, I’d miss the way his chest rises with the small gasp that escapes his lips.

  I am now sitting topless, on a rock, at the base of a waterfall with the most beautiful man in the world nestled between my legs.

  And all he can do is stare at my eyes.

  I take his mouth with mine. His hands are in my hair, pulling gently at the scalp.

  He moves his lips down my neck and then takes my breast in his mouth. He nips lightly before flicking the tip and sucking gently. I cry out, the sound of the crashing current draws out my moans as he moves to the next breast and devours it with his tongue and teeth.

  “Jackson,” I plead.

  His mouth is back on mine, desperate, yet gentle. As he lifts himself onto the rock, I scoot back as he puts a knee between my legs and settles himself over me.

  I look up at him and run my fingers down the side of his face.

  “When I woke up in the hospital I thought you were an angel,” he says before leaning down to kiss me again. “I was right.”

  My hands wrap behind his neck as he settles his weight over me, and I rub my core against him, feeling the friction. His grip moves from my waist and under my dress settling right over the waistband of my bikini bottoms.

  “Touch me,” I beg, breathlessly.

  He leans up and looks down at me. His brows are curved in.

  “No,” he says and I can feel my heart plummeting into my stomach. His fingers halt on my skin and grip, lightly, yet with immense control, steadying me. “I want to do the right thing. This is my second chance. I need you to know how much you mean to me. I need you to see just how sorry I really am. And I need you to feel how lost I am without you.”

  I pull his face toward mine. His plump lips are softened from my kisses.

  “Then show me,” I breathe.

  That’s all the permission he needs.

  His fingers hook into the side of my bottoms and shimmy them down from side to side and places them on the rock.

  With his eyes on mine, he dips two fingers inside and watches as my eyes roll into the back of my head.

  “What do you need?” he asks as his thumb comes up and brushes my throbbing clit. I’m pulsing and panting—a raging fire burning from within.

  “You.” I pull on his arms, but he doesn’t budge. Instead, he lowers his head to place open-mouth kisses all over my skin – my neck, my jaw, my breasts and my lips. The feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of me, his thumb running circles around my core, and mouth feathering my body has me spiraling over the edge.

  He lifts his head, and I am lost in the sight of how beautiful he is. The memory of the last time we were like this is overbearing.

  My skin is heated.


  My core tightens.

  My orgasm building.

  I turn my head to the side and gasp as I spiral out of control. My hips pump, and I ride the wave as my body looses all control. And it feels magnificent.

  His fingers push in further and curl, hitting the spot deep within that has me on fire. Smoke builds from my core, and I’m about to erupt.

  He leans his groin into my hip, and the feeling of his hot cock burning into my skin sends me over the edge.

  “Jackson,” I pant as I come hard on his hand. My arms reach up for his shoulders, desperate for something to hold onto. He slows his fingers and slides them out.

  His hands lower to the rock on each side of my head, hovering over me as he settles his groin between my legs. He may be clothed, but the way he grinds into me, simulating sex, has me rubbing my already throbbing clit up against him.

  Together, we move in unison. My back arches off the ground.

  His eyes are firm on mine as he rubs his body down and up in tantric circles. My body matches his move for move.

  His arm arches behind my back as the other curls behind my head, holding me steady. Our bodies are so close, yet so far away. Still, the feeling is overwhelming. I’m sent into overdrive as a second wave ripples through me.

  Like a limp doll, I’m pulled up onto his lap, so I’m straddling him.

  We kiss for a moment.

  We kiss for eternity.

  We may be surrounded by water, but we are a fire burning hot from the ash; clinging to the embers to build to even greater heights.

  His dimples are deep as he gives me a closed-mouth smile that morphs to show his perfect grin.

  I brush the hair off his forehead and let out a laugh.

  He quirks an eye. “Something funny?”

  I shake my head. “I’m topless at a public waterfall.” I can’t help but laugh again, and tears pour down my face. “The girl who was in hiding is now out in the open.”

  His face falls, and he looks almost heartbroken. I think my reaction is alarming him.

  “I broke you,” he mutters, pulling away into the water.

  I grab his face and force him back up into the fire.

  “Look at me, Jax.” I hold his stare and state, “You fixed me.” I place my hand over his heart. “You’ve done more for me in six days than anyone else has done in years.”