Hawke didn’t respond in any way and I could see his anger simmering just under the surface. Once we reached the motel, I followed him inside to check in because it was the same motel where Reggie and I had hooked up at on a couple of occasions and I was hopeful the owner would know something about Buck and Denny’s whereabouts. But I didn’t recognize the woman behind the check in desk and when I asked if she was new, she said she and her husband had just bought the place a couple months earlier. When I asked about the Buckleys, she had no idea who I was talking about.
Once we were in the room, Hawke began getting a few things out of his bag. I was unpacking my own things when he handed me his credit card.
“Order something for dinner if you’re hungry. I’m going to take a shower. Don’t answer the door. I’ll be out before the food gets here.”
I flinched at his cool, dismissive tone, but I took the credit card and set it down on the nightstand. I listened as the shower came on and I couldn’t help but think of how eerily reminiscent it was of the night before just before Hawke had fucked me. I used the time to call Matty, but as happy as I was to hear his excited rundown of the costume parade, I couldn’t escape the dread I felt that Hawke was pulling away from me again. I’d been so sure after he’d kissed me for the second time in the trailer that maybe something had changed for him, but now I wasn’t so sure.
After hanging up with Matty, I called the front desk and asked for the number of a restaurant that would deliver. I ordered a pizza along with a couple of sodas and then searched out the remote control for the television. When Hawke came out, I turned the TV down and said, “I ordered a pizza. It should be here in about twenty minutes.”
“Fine,” was all Hawke said, not even sparing me a glance.
I grabbed my bag and went to the bathroom where I took my time showering and by the time I returned to the main room, the pizza was sitting untouched on the table by the door and Hawke was slouched on the far side of his bed, his back to me. I could tell he was holding something in his hand and I had my suspicions as to what it was. They were confirmed a second later when he cast a glance over his shoulder at me and I saw the picture frame. He leaned down, presumably to put the picture in his bag, and I turned away and busied myself with putting my own bag away.
“You should eat something.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the order.
“What?” Hawke asked testily.
“Nothing,” I murmured.
“You’ve got something to say, just say it.”
My own anger was growing but I forced it back and said as evenly as I could, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Fucking Christ,” Hawke snapped, but he didn’t say anything else and that in itself sent me over the edge. I spun around to find that Hawke was in the same exact position and the fact that he wasn’t even looking at me pissed me off even further.
“You know what Hawke, fuck you!”
That got his attention and he looked over his shoulder at me, but I found that I didn’t give a shit at the cold look in his eyes. “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to come here?” I ground out. “I left behind my son! I came back to a place that has a starring role in my worst nightmares! I’m risking coming face to face with the two men who took nothing but pleasure in tormenting me for nearly my entire life! And I did it all for you!”
Hawke stood up and came around the bed, his big frame stiff with unspent anger. “You did it because you felt indebted-”
“I did it for you!” I yelled. “You want to treat me like some cheap fuck, fine! You want to take your frustration out on me, then fucking do it! But don’t do what you did to me in that trailer.” I hated that my voice broke at the last part, but I held my ground as Hawke closed the distance between us. I felt raw and exposed and I suddenly wished I’d just kept my mouth shut.
“What did I do in the trailer?” Hawke asked, his voice softer now. But when he reached for me, I yanked my arm out of his reach and stepped back. He just kept coming at me though, and I had nowhere to go once the backs of my legs hit the bed.
“Don’t,” I managed to get out as Hawke’s body crowded mine.
“Don’t what?” Hawke whispered, his voice strained.
“Don’t pretend like you care,” I finally said and I was helpless to prevent the pleading that crept into my voice.
Hawke studied me for a long time before he leaned down and put his mouth next to my ear. I was trembling with need long before he even spoke.
“One thing you should know about me…I don’t pretend,” Hawke said, his lips skimming the sensitive skin just behind my ear. He wasn’t touching me anywhere else, but he may as well have been because my whole body was drawn up tight with excitement. “And Tate?”
When he didn’t continue, I drew back enough so I could look him in the eye.
“I care,” he said softly, his blue eyes piercing straight through me. “I fucking care.”
His mouth was on mine an instant after the last word left his lips and I couldn’t stifle my cry of pleasure as our tongues met. Fingers threaded through my hair to hold me still and then my head was tilted back, exposing my neck. I used my hands to find purchase on Hawke’s waist as his lips teased my skin. But he stopped kissing me a moment later and instead drew me against his chest.
“Sorry for today,” he murmured. “I really thought we were going to find something. I just need this to be over.”
I should have kept my mouth shut, but my need for answers was too great.
“And when it is over? What happens then?”
Chapter Fifteen
Hawke
I was taken aback by Tate’s question and I knew it was my silence that had him dropping his arms from where they’d been wrapped around me. But instead of stepping away from me, he whispered, “No, don’t answer that” and then his hand snaked around the back of my neck to pull me down for a kiss. I automatically opened for him and it took just one swipe of his tongue over mine to push his words to the back of my mind. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him flush against my body. He moaned into my mouth when our erections brushed together and when I slid my hand down to cup his ass, Tate whispered, “I need you” against my mouth.
My plan was to lower him to the bed so I could explore every inch of him, but when I felt his palm sliding over my pants until it found my bulging cock, I stilled and closed my eyes. Tate continued to kiss me as he began rolling his hand over my aching dick, but I had trouble concentrating on the deep, drugging kisses. And when I felt his hand actually disappear inside my pants, I tore my mouth from his so I could watch the outline of his hand as his fingers pressed into my heated flesh.
“Oh fuck,” I whispered as Tate’s entire hand closed around my cock. I really wanted to see his hand on me, but before I could even reach for my pants to push them down, Tate pulled his hand free and began lowering them himself. My body was humming with excitement and I couldn’t resist lowering my head to seek out Tate’s mouth again. But I only managed to steal a few kisses before I felt the cool air of the motel room wash over my length. Instead of fisting me again, Tate used his thumb to trace the ridge beneath the head of my dick and then he flicked it over the slit on my crown. A shudder went through my entire body, but I was helpless to do anything as I watched Tate explore me. Pre-cum began welling up at the tip and Tate swiped at it with his finger. I expected him to use it as lube, but when he lifted his finger to his mouth, I was sure I stopped breathing. His eyes went glassy with desire as he licked the fluid from his finger and I couldn’t stop myself from yanking his mouth to mine.
My control was completely shattered as I tasted myself, but as much as I would have liked to grab Tate and push him down on the bed, he made it clear he was in charge when he began stroking me with heavy drags. His rough hand was so different than anything I’d ever felt before and the sheer size and strength of that had me seeing stars as he exerted the perfect amount of pressure. Tate’s free hand slipped beneath my shirt to sk
im over my abdomen and then he was pushing the hem upwards.
“Off,” he demanded. The rough order had more pre-cum leaking from my body and I quickly did as he said and yanked the shirt off and tossed it aside. Shivers of need began to roll through me as Tate stroked me, but when his mouth closed over one of my nipples and sucked, I nearly came on the spot.
“Shit, I’m not going to last,” I muttered as Tate laved his tongue over my nipple before teasing it with his teeth.
“Yes, you will,” Tate said against my chest as he ran his tongue around the entire nipple before searching out the other one. “Because Hawke,” – I looked down at him when he paused – “I’m just getting started.”
I let out another foul curse when he bit down on my nipple again. As much as I was enjoying his power over me, I needed to see more of him so I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up. He released his hold on my dick and pulled back from my chest long enough to let me remove the shirt, but he resumed his sensual torture the instant the garment was free. I wrapped one hand around the back of his head more to feel him than to control him and I let the other hand drift past the waistband at his back and brush over his tight ass. Tate moaned against my skin when I trailed my finger along his crack, but I lost the contact when he suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me. I knew exactly what was coming next, but instead of putting his mouth on me, Tate looked up, the unasked question clear in his eyes.
The fact that it was a man who was about to take me into his mouth wasn’t lost on me, but I couldn’t find it in me to care because it wasn’t just any man who was about to be this first for me. It was this man. This sweet, beautiful, strong man who, after all I’d done to him, was brave enough to get on his knees before me…to bring me pleasure without asking for any in return. Just nodding would have gotten me what I so badly wanted, but I needed Tate to understand what he was doing to me so I whispered, “Please.”
Tate stilled for a moment, his beautiful blue and golden brown eyes going bright with surprise and then filling with pleasure. He nuzzled my groin and then flicked his tongue against my pulsing dick. It felt like I’d been zapped with a thousand volts of electricity, but before I could even beg him for more, his entire mouth closed over my crown. I let out a rugged groan as he swirled his tongue around me and I reached out with my hands to grab his head. I was tempted to thrust into the wet heat, but I forced myself to remain still so I could just experience every second of pleasure Tate was dragging from my body. As he sucked more of me into his mouth, Tate’s fingers began pushing my pants farther down my body. I was prepared to step out of them, but Tate surprised me again when his hands closed over my ass. He stilled when I tensed briefly at the unexpected contact, but when he went to remove his hands, I quickly said, “No, don’t…leave them there.”
The sight of Tate looking up at me as he sucked my dick was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen in my entire life, but the feel of his rough palms kneading the globes of my ass came in a very close second. Between Tate’s mouth and his fingers, I was quickly losing control of my impending orgasm, so I only let him have a few more seconds of me before I reached down and pulled him to his feet. I sealed my mouth over his, loving the taste of my own musky flavor. I pushed him down on the bed, but didn’t follow him. Instead, I stood over him and stepped out of my pants before reaching for his. Once they were gone, I stepped back just enough so I could take in my fill of him. Everything about him intrigued me and despite the exploration I’d done of his body the night before in the shower, I knew it wasn’t enough. And as I lowered myself so that I could settle my body on top of his, I realized it would never be enough.
I took my time kissing Tate and I smiled when he shifted his legs enough so I could settle between them. Our cocks were nestled against one another, but I kept my attention on Tate’s mouth as I nipped, sucked and licked every part of its sweetness. Tate’s breath was sawing in and out of him as he took pleasure in everything that I did to him and I didn’t miss when he wrapped his legs around my lower body. I wondered if he was afraid I was going to leave him at some point or if he was just desperate to touch as much of me as he could. Because that was exactly what I wanted.
The night before I’d used mostly my hands to learn about Tate’s body, but tasting him was so much better. I tortured his nipples the same way he’d tortured mine and I bit back my own need to rub my dick against his when he began bucking up against me with his hips. His eyes were closed and his head was thrown back as sweat began glistening all over his flesh. His full lips were parted as he tried to draw in enough air and I couldn’t resist covering his mouth with mine. I loved that as lost in his own pleasure as he was, he kissed me back with everything he had. His fingers were wrapped around my upper arms, the pads pressing into my own heated skin. I continued to brace my own upper body weight with one arm so that I could snake my other hand beneath Tate’s body to palm his ass.
“Yes,” he hissed when I lifted him up so that he was pressed even more closely against my groin. My plan had been to continue to explore Tate’s body, but I could feel my own body getting closer and closer to release, so I began rolling my hips over Tate which slid our dicks together deliciously.
“Oh God,” Tate moaned and his eyes opened and he looked down at where we were as closely connected as we could be without being intimately joined. He flipped his eyes up to mine and then grabbed my neck and yanked me down for a kiss. “I need you inside of me,” he breathed against my mouth. I kissed him hard and slowed down my undulating hips enough to get his attention.
“No,” I said. “Your body needs time to heal.”
Tate shook his head violently, but I kissed him again before he could protest verbally.
“This feels so fucking amazing, Tate,” I managed to get out as I began rocking against him once more. “Don’t you feel it?”
Tate nodded, his lips skimming mine with the move. “Promise me,” he grated as he bucked against me to increase the friction. “Promise me this isn’t the last time we’re together like this.”
I knew it was a promise I shouldn’t make, especially since I had no idea what tomorrow or the next day would bring. But the idea of not feeling Tate’s body wrapped around mine again wasn’t fathomable to me so I nodded. “I promise,” I said against his lips. “I’m going to make you feel so good the next time I get inside that tight hole of yours,” I vowed.
Tate groaned at my words. I began humping against him with less finesse as I said, “I’m going to fuck you just like this, Tate. Facing you. Just so I can watch those beautiful eyes of yours go wide when I slip inside of you.”
Tate sucked in a harsh breath and his hold on my arm became almost painful.
“You’ll try to hold on to me tight, won’t you, baby? You’ll try to keep me from leaving all that snug heat even for a second,” I said as I used my hand on his ass to clutch him even closer to me. One or both of us was leaking so much pre-cum that our dicks slid against each other with ease and I could feel my body drawing up tight.
Another nod from Tate and a mumbled, “Yes.”
“And when you finally come apart around me and you feel me shooting my cum inside you, you’ll say my name, won’t you?”
Whatever Tate said next wasn’t even intelligible, but I had no trouble understanding him because his eyes had flipped open and he was nodding viciously.
“Say it now,” I suddenly demanded, the need to hear my name falling from his lips undeniable.
“Hawke,” he whispered harshly.
My heart seized up, but not in pleasure. I slowed my moves and released my hold on Tate’s ass so I could press all of my weight down on him. As badly as I needed to come, I needed something more from him, but I was terrified of what it meant. A flash of emotion shot through me as I realized I would demand it of him despite what it would cost me. Because I needed all of him in that moment. But more than that, I needed to be all of me.
Tate’s desire had eased enough that he was watching me i
n confusion. His hands were resting on the backs of my arms just above my elbows. I leaned down to kiss him and then cupped the sides of his face with my hands.
“Michael,” I whispered against his mouth.
Tate didn’t move or respond for the longest time. In fact, it felt like he was barely even breathing. But his eyes never left mine as he said, “Michael” in a barely-there voice.
“Again,” I demanded.
“Michael,” he said again, louder this time.
Pleasure flooded my entire body and I began thrusting my hips against his with ruthless precision.
“Again,” I ground out as I braced my hands next to his head so I could bear my own weight as I rolled my lower body over his in heavy, weighted drags.
“Michael,” he cried out, his voice growing more and more desperate. And after that, I didn’t have to command him to say my name anymore. With every exhale, he called to me and I gave him what he needed, what we both needed. Tate went over seconds before I did and I felt his nails dig into my back where he was holding onto me as he screamed my name and his cum drenched us both. My own orgasm ripped through me without mercy and I dropped all of my weight onto Tate and gathered him into my arms as I rode out the endless waves of pleasure. The climax was so forceful that it bordered on painful and it was several long minutes before the brutally strong aftershocks eased enough that I stopped grinding my hips against Tate’s. The roaring in my ears quieted enough to hear Tate still whispering my name.
I lifted my head enough to seal my lips over his in an unhurried kiss that was really just our lips pressed together for the few seconds between the deep breaths we were each sucking in to try to get our bodies back to some semblance of normal. I used my elbows to lift my weight up enough so I could run my fingers through Tate’s slickened hair. The blissful expression on his face was one I would remember for the rest of my life, but nothing compared to the equal parts of pleasure and pain that tore through me when he said “Michael” one last time before closing his eyes.
Retribution (The Protectors, Book 3) Page 14
