by K. S. Adkins
“Where did you live before coming here?”
“Same as you, I slept wherever I could find a bed.”
“Were those beds empty?” I ask, then groan in mortification. “I don’t know why I just said that.”
When he chuckled, I couldn’t help it, I blurted, “That’s the sexiest sound in the world.”
“Second sexiest,” he grins longing for my mouth.
“What’s the first?”
“The sound you’ll make when you’re coming.”
My God…that line should be in a script.
I wanted to crawl into his lap, tackle him to the floor, sit on his face so he’d make good on his promise. I wanted Phoenix to consume me with his flames, I wanted forever and though it was insanity to feel this way, there was no stopping it.
Just this once, instead of acting on instinct and possibly making a fool of myself when he figures out how fucked up I am, I blurt, “We need to call it night.”
“No,” he says harshly. “You need to call it a night.”
Reaching for my bag to square up the tab, he barks, “I don’t want your fucking money, Finn.”
I almost asked what do you want? But the fierce look in his eyes stopped me.
“It was nice meeting you, Nix.”
Phoenix didn’t say a word but then again, he didn’t have to. If his primal expression was anything to go by, my leaving did not please him. Clearing the bar, I head straight for the elevators never looking back.
Moments later when I was swiping my key card, I felt my phone vibrate, swiped it open and nearly buckled.
—That was the first and last time u walk away from me—
And I knew he was right.
Though I didn't respond to his message, I sat on the couch staring at Ryan's contact information for a solid twenty minutes. I scrolled through the messages I've sent, rereading the context and uploading what wasn't already on my phone. Knowing what had to be done, I deleted Ryan's name, adding Nix's in its place. I let myself cry, mourning the final loss and with a heavy heart, powered down and climbed into bed.
Now it was late, I was amped up and sleep refused to claim me.
Thoughts of Phoenix had me reaching between my legs for relief that I knew from experience, wouldn’t come.
That I wouldn’t come.
But this wasn’t unusual for me. In fact, it’s why I rarely bothered.
However, my body was demanding a release so I fantasized about him on top of me, behind me, arms pinned behind my back and even my heels up over my head. I even imagined his fingers around my throat while his body slammed into mine so violently, I welcomed the bruises.
The harder I tried, the more it built and the further it was from my reach. With my eyes squeezed closed, I thrashed, whimpered and rubbed that much harder.
“Please,” fell from my lips as my slick skin stuck to the sheets. “Fuck, please.”
And no matter how hard I tried, the only thing that came were tears.
Half frustration, half pain, I was about to scream out in agony when I felt the air shift.
All I could see in the photo was the swell of tits spilling out of her bikini top.
No matter how I increased or minimized it, that’s the view I got. Her sun-kissed face, beach-combed hair, lips that looked puffy from kissing and her tits. Fine, the sun was highlighting her too, but I refused to look away from her to give it further thought. With a #Barbados, I spent hours forcing myself not to buy a flight and fuck her into the sand.
All thoughts that this might be a bad idea fled my system when I found Finn suffering.
In her texts and the few hours I’d gotten to spend with her, I would describe her as indestructible.
But covered in sweat, working herself harder than looked pleasurable and squeezing her eyes shut, Finn was vulnerable and in need.
Her pain was a serrated knife to my gut and when she started to cry, I realized that there are times in a man’s life when he is helpless and times where he needs to step up and protect. To have care. Comfort his woman. And while I was nothing more than a stranger to her now, by the time the sun set, I wouldn’t be. By then, we would have memorized each other and neither of us would recall a life before this.
Coming into the dim light and to the right side of the bed, I knew I’d have to work quickly. Covering her mouth with both hands, I watch her eyes fly open as her body prepares to fight. “Finn,” I say firmly. “Calm yourself, it’s only me.”
The smell of her arousal was so potent I found myself light-headed. I loved the feeling so much, I inhaled deeply taking her scent inside of me.
When she settles some, I knew she was waiting for her chance to strike. Pinning her arms above her head, I promise her, “I’m not here to hurt you.”
Breathing hard through her nose, I notice her eyes are glazed with lust and pain. “I’ve come to ease you.”
“You can’t,” she whimpers.
“I can,” I whisper leaning in to kiss her salty lips. “Let me.”
“Nix please don’t, I can’t take anymore.”
“I’ll make you come with only my tongue and my hands, I swear this to you.”
I've never done this to a woman before but she didn't need to know that. I'd spend all night between her legs if that's what it takes. I have never wanted anything as badly as I wanted to taste her right now.
“But what about you?”
Taking the pressure off her wrists, I sink my fingers into her hair, use my grip to gently raise her up where I slide my tongue into her mouth. Her moan was so deep and agonized, I broke the connection to promise her, “You ease me just by breathing.”
“It hurts,” she whispers.
“Watch me,” I say, backing away and coming to the end of the bed, I slowly undress down to my briefs. Crawling up and between her thighs, I love that her eyes never leave my face. I love that despite being in pain, she’s curious and trusting me to care for her. Lifting her foot, I squeeze her heel before moving on to her ankle, then calf and finally thigh. I repeat the gesture on the other leg and then settle myself between them. “Welcome me home, Finn. I want a proper introduction to my pussy before I feast on it.”
Her hesitation was punishable with a bite to her inner thigh. Nearly coming off the bed she screams out, “Fuck!” but spreads herself wide open, generously for me. She was soaked, glistening and I took a moment to stare before blowing on her sensitized skin. I hadn’t even touched her yet and she was about to go off. Men like me spend their lives searching for power. Often times we earn it, most times we acquire it. But it’s never given.
The power I had over Finn’s perfect body was extreme, I feared hurting her.
Using two fingers to rub her clit, when she moans deep, I stop all movement reminding her, “Eyes on me, always.”
When she locked on, I rewarded her by pulling out and sucking both wet fingers into my mouth.
Moaning at her taste, I ask Finn to, “Open your mouth.” When she does, I slide my fingers inside and command she, “Suck.”
This was hands down the most erotic, defining moment of my life and I hadn’t even made her come yet. Ready to get to it, I take my hand back and proceed to open up her flower before leaning down to taste her nectar.
Loving the way she responded, I continued licking her, sucking her, fingering her and pushing her beyond reason. This woman, she needed me. She was relying on me. Fuck, even the fact that she trusted me…
Finn went from moaning to crying out, “Suck on my clit, Nix, please…” and I could deny her no longer.
Doing exactly that, she clamped her strong thighs around me and absolutely wailed her release so beautifully, I swore I’d found a glimpse of heaven in her eyes. Still not stopping, I lapped her up, pulled a leg over each shoulder determined to make her come again. The second orgasm wasn’t as loud but she went liquid and gripped the sheets as it washed over her. Finn was…serene.
On a high so intense, I flipped her onto her stomach, titled her ass i
n the air and ate her from the back so good, that when she came a third time she literally passed out.
For thirty minutes, I lie there transfixed by her little snore. For the first time in my life, I was proud of myself. I had done something selfless. Of course, I found pleasure from it. The most intense pleasure I had ever known and yet finding my own release wasn’t even a factor. It was about seeing to Finn.
I wasn’t fooling myself that she’d be happy to see me when she woke up. The fact is, I broke into her room and got lucky she was too far gone to question or properly fight me. But women were fickle creatures and I had a strong feeling she would wake, looking at me with regret in her eyes. And though I’d never voice it-I couldn’t bear rejection from her.
When I started to move, Finn jolted, latched on and said the two most beautiful words anyone has ever said to me.
“Nix, stay.”
So, about heaven? It wasn’t in Finn’s eyes.
It was just Finn.
On the second day of first grade, I saw a boy frozen on the steps of the school’s circular slide. With a line behind him and the kids chanting for him to get moving, I climbed up the front and sat myself at the top with my legs hanging down barely touching the first step. “Whatcha doing?” I asked the boy.
“Nothin’,” he gulped.
“Why aren’t you moving?”
“How’d you get up there?”
“Climbed.”
“You umm, like to climb?”
“Uh huh,” I smiled. “Want me to teach you?”
Unsure but proud, he nodded, “Yeah, but how?”
Reaching down, I said, “Take my hand.”
He did and never let go.
For the first time in memory, I woke at peace. My body and mind were finally one. And the man responsible, was sound asleep with his arms wrapped protectively around me. I know I should care that he had somehow broken into my room. I know, I should be at the very least, cautious of him, but I wasn’t.
Because Nix did for me what no other ever has.
While I adored sex, certain I was even really good at it, I never came from it.
Ever.
My body required intense stimulation to orgasm and there had been times where it took three bullets and a Sunday confession to get me there. Yet this man, this stranger, was so in tune with my needs that every single part of me came to life last night. Coming once was an accomplishment. Coming three times was a God damn revelation.
So no, I wasn’t going to freak out on him and ruin the gift he’d selflessly given me. A gift I pathetically wasn’t even able to give myself.
Nix helped me, demanding nothing in return. I may not have a dick, but I imagine him not receiving the same consideration was unpleasant. And I didn’t like the thought of him in pain.
Sometime between night and morning, he lost the rest of his clothes. I was disappointed that I somehow managed to miss him strip. I knew I was out of it, but I had to be really out of it not to notice this body.
I was currently sprawled over his soft furry chest staring at the V leading to his briefs. In my business, I was surrounded by the fittest of the fit. In Hollywood, it’s how we made a living. Looks were everything.
But I have never, ever, seen let alone touched, a body like this.
Natural beauty they say is a myth. To that I call bullshit because he was proof it existed.
I noticed two puckered scars on his left side, a long jagged scar on his shoulder and what appeared to be an old gunshot wound just above his nipple. Whatever Nix did I would bet was dangerous and that he was great at it.
Then there were his abs that, at rest, were impressive, then I found myself imagining how sculpted they’d look when he flexed.
Which of course, got me thinking about him pumping aggressively inside of me.
He’d fuck hard. Deep. Thoroughly. He would mark me. I knew this. I craved it.
So when he says, “I can smell you,” I smiled as I reached down, sliding my hand into his briefs. Semi-hard, his dick twitched when my fingers grazed it.
“Let me,” I say repeating his words.
“Finn,” he moans tightening his grip on my hip.
“Let me ease you, Nix.”
“You don’t owe me –”
Retracting my hand, I sit up and quickly maneuver myself into a straddling position. ”I’ll make you come with only my tongue and my hands, I swear this to you.” Using his words against him empowered me, and only made him harder.
“You would take a demon into your heavenly mouth?”
I decided actions would speak louder than words. Besides, I reasoned I couldn’t talk if my mouth was full…Sliding between his legs, I take him in hand and begin stroking hard as he did me. As we find our rhythm, I blow on him as he did me before sealing my lips over his crown. Groaning my name, I suck Nix, I swirl my tongue over his soft skin, I use one hand to pump his base and the other to cup his sac. In no time he was thrashing, gripping the sheets and losing himself to pleasure just like I had hours before.
“Going to come, kitten,” he warns me. “If you don’t want it down your perfect throat –”
Working him harder, faster, deeper, he bows up and using my strength, I pin him back down. At this point, I was gagging with spit running out of my mouth and all over him. Digging my nails into his thighs, Nix doesn’t just come. He purges. And I took every ounce out of it into me, where I would keep it forever.
Once he was spent, I found my way back to his chest and rested there. When his arms came around me, I asked, “Why kitten?”
“Because,” he says running his fingers over my back. “When I touch you, you purr.”
I thought on that for a moment and when I realized he was right, I laughed.
And then, I wrapped myself around him.
Without fail, every time she sent a video I found a quiet place to watch and panic over it.
Today’s video was no exception. Wearing a helmet, harness, and wicked smile she yelled, “Watch this!” and plummeted towards earth. Heart in my throat, I watch and listen to her yell out, “Miss you, Ryan,” and then the video cut out.
“What are you watching?” Jay, my brother-in-arms asked.
Tucking my phone into my pocket, I stow my expression and mumble, “YouTube.”
Completely undone by this woman, I sat in the armchair by the window pathetically waiting for her to finish her shower. Swear to God, if she asks me to leave now, I might drug her. Being apart from her was literally unthinkable. She surprised me in every way and I refused to lose her. What she did to my body was a close second to what she did to the heart I never knew was capable of feeling more than bloodlust. Just looking at her made it beat faster. I felt my arteries expand making room for the rush of blood it was receiving. Jesus, I groan looking between my legs. This is what living felt like…
When she walks out in a towel, the slit reveals her toned leg and I felt myself starting to swell further. My god, I had no idea towels could be sexier than a dress...
Sitting across from me, she cocks her head to the side and asks, “Who are you, Nix?”
At this juncture, I felt it was best to only offer, “The man who would die before hurting you.”
Looking sad she toys with her towel before saying, “I have to be on set soon.”
Fuck, that’s right, she has a job. As a stunt woman. “Do you like what you do?”
“Mostly I love it,” she smiles wide and immediately I was rock hard.
“Do you have time to tell me about it over breakfast?”
Standing up and coming over to me, she leans down kissing my lips whispering, “For you, I’ll make time.”
And twenty minutes later we both had coffee in our hands when she explains, “I’m what you call a thrill seeker. As a kid, I had so much energy that my mom enrolled me in tumbling and when that wasn’t enough it was gymnastics followed by karate, wrestling, flag football, archery…you get the idea. I loved to climb, jump, bend, twist…I was in second grade
when I started rock climbing. Fourth when I began Judo, sixth when I tackled my first free-fall and so on. In high school, Ryan and I were doing scuba in the Keys when we saw a movie being filmed. The crew was all worked up because they couldn’t get the shot right. He insisted I sneak onto set and show them how it’s done.” With the purest look of love in her eyes she says, “And I did.”
“The rest is history,” I say looking away.
“Why do your eyes go flat when I mention Ryan?”
“Because he was your everything,” I saw no point in lying. “Never been anyone’s anything and I find myself jealous of this person.”
“He was my best friend,” she says staring down at her hands. “And it was my fault he died. But I think it will help me to talk about him. He was wonderful, Nix.”
Best friend, thank fuck for that. Because I felt like a prick wanting to kill a dead man. “How –”
“Did he die?” she asks looking forlorn. “By following my lead.”
“Finn –”
“He loved the life, Nix but he did something he wasn’t ready for. His death, it’s on me. It’s on me because I wasn’t there to protect him and I should have been. I had promised I would be and I failed him. Why? Because making a statement was more important than making sure he was safe.”
Unsure what to say or do, I was spared any type of response when she says, “I have to go.”
“I’ve upset you.”
“I’ll never get used to this emptiness,” she says wiping her eyes. “Anyway, what are your plans for the day?”
“This is it,” I say opening my arms up.
“Where do you work? Or, are you on vacation?”
“I’m on vacation,” I semi lie.
“You vacation in Detroit?”
“No,” I say low. “I came here for you.” Or rather, I had hoped she’d be here. I walked out on the devil himself over a woman, an area code and desperation.
When her eyes lit, I nearly came in my jeans. And when she says, “Want to come on set and see me in action?” I was out of my chair pulling her with me before she changed her mind.
