by K. S. Adkins
“You go ahead,” he says, coming to my side to watch raptly as I pour.
“Not much rattles me, Nix. All I ask is that you tell me the truth. I can handle the truth.” Then I snort and explain, “Sorry, if you let me, I can slip a movie quote into any conversation.”
“It’s me who’s sorry, Finn,” he sighs audibly. “Until I saw you, I didn’t hope or dream. I didn’t want, I didn’t desire. I killed. I was a killer. No conscience, no soul. Until I saw you. To have you, I quit. Walked away. And now there’s a bounty. They want me back.”
“Nix –”
“And because of me, the bounty is on your head, Finn.”
“How much is my death worth?” Don’t ask me why this mattered, but it did. I wanted to hear that I was priceless.
“Ten million dollars.”
“Wow,” I whistle. “We should choreograph my fake death and cash in.”
“You will live, Finn. I vow it.”
“Let’s circle back to that later,” I suggest. “You were getting ready to tell me who you are.”
Slamming my drink back, he cracks his neck, pours another and says, “I’m what we call the Middle Man.”
Blinking at me in expectance as if I was supposed to start crying or screaming, I rolled my eyes and waved him on. “I’m a problem solver. Meaning I’m the one who’s sent in when parties can’t see eye to eye.”
“And if one eye refuses to see?”
“I blind them.”
“So, you’re a contract killer.”
“In a sense,” he sighs. “Mostly, I do my best to resolve conflict.”
“With criminals?”
“Yes,” he agrees. “Sometimes I’ve also been known to dabble in government affairs.”
“Robin said you quit.”
“Because it's true.”
“I assume quitting is frowned upon?”
“It’s never been done.”
“This is very John Wickish,” I muse and wasn't shocked he didn't get the reference. I even pushed further with, "Any chance you had a dog?"
"I've never had a pet, Finn," he rolls his eyes. "Can we get back to the matter at hand?"
“Fine," I huff. "You quit and because of this, I’m on the chopping block.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I thought I was free and –”
Waving him off I ask, “Did you really come here for me?”
“Yes.”
Turns out, coming to a decision was easier than I thought. “Okay. Then it’s us against them. Question is, who’s them?”
“Finn, the number is greater than we are, which I have to let you –”
“No,” I slap my hand over his mouth. “Do not finish that sentence. You just found me! You’re not letting me go. Who are we up against, Nix?”
I watch him wage a battle I can’t weigh in on and when he says, “Finn, the numbers are not in our favor,” my response was, “How many? They won’t stop so, let’s talk numbers. We’ll take them all on.”
“I don’t know,” he says quietly. “I’ll have to do some digging.”
“Okay,” I exhale. “That’s step one. Finding out how many want me dead.”
Huh. When I decided to get back in the dating game, who would have thought we’d be discussing death warrants instead of dinner plans. Whatever, life was life. You rolled with it.
“I think I’ll take that drink now,” he says sliding his arms around my waist.
Leaning into him I ask, “How did you become the Middle Man?”
When he tensed, I knew he didn’t want to tell me. However, we weren’t leaving this room until he did.
Phoenix just Phoenix with no last name owed me that much.
“For two-hundred dollars I won’t tell your wife you’re cheating on her with the home economics teacher.”
This wasn’t my first blackmail, far from it. Over the years, I’ve become the shadow in the hallways. The eyes and ears of this shithole. I found it disgusting that adults cheated thinking no one saw, that they were smarter than the rest of us. I also realized infidelity was a great way to make money.
Why? Because it was everywhere.
And in this place? If business kept up, I could by my own used Mercedes by senior year.
“Listen, you piece of –” he begins to threaten but my fist in his gut prevented him from finishing his sentence.
“Cash, Mr. Benner,” I whispered in his ear. “I only take cash.”
I’d ended sophomore year just shy of nearly three grand…
Early on, I realized I was wired wrong.
When my classmates were enjoying recess, I was watching the teachers, casing the playground and profiling the parents. As I got older, I learned to manipulate, observe, and blackmail. In middle school, I’d leaned on eighty percent of the staff which included the principal. By high school, I was making money on the streets by doing favors and existing in different shadows. I no longer wanted part of gossip, dating, or drama.
My life had bigger plans.
Little did I know someone else had plans for me too.
But by that time, I was cocky and thought myself untouchable.
Hell, I was eighteen when I lost my virginity to a prostitute for three hundred dollars. And until Finn, I never wanted to be attached to anyone in any way. Especially emotionally. I trusted no man or woman. Because of this I had no knowledge of how a relationship worked.
What I did know was how to lie and use my skills to get what I wanted.
And while I wanted Finn, lying and manipulation wouldn’t work on her.
She deserved better than that.
With her head resting against my chest, I placed my palm over her heart and allowed the steady beat to calm me. Explaining myself was foreign to me. And no matter how I spun it, there was no use in denying she was in the arms of a monster. “Talk to me,” she says softly and opening my eyes, I look out of the hotel window seeing our bodies reflected in it.
“I’ve never held a woman before,” I admit. “I’m certain once I bare my soul, seeing the fear I put in your eyes, I still won’t have the strength to let you go.”
Cupping my face, she asks again, “How did you become the Middle Man, Phoenix?”
“By saving the devil’s life,” I share. “I didn’t know it at the time, but he’d been watching me work the streets. Back then, I made money playing both sides of the fence. I pit criminals against each other. I gathered information, used it to blackmail the right people and next thing you know, I was working a deal that went wrong. Shit happened and I saved the wrong man’s life. I’ve been a pawn ever since.”
“What was his name?”
“To this day, I still don’t know. But he saw it in me and knew my soul was forfeit. He took advantage of the fact I had nothing to lose. No family, no friends, no one to miss me. He set up a meeting, a dispute that needed resolution. It was a test, of course. When neither party would submit to his demands, I had no choice but to end the dispute.”
“You killed them both.”
“I killed them both,” I confess. “From that point on, all future correspondence came from messengers until cell phones came on the scene. Now, all contact is done through a woman who goes by the Operator.”
“So how did you quit?”
“I stopped answering the phone,” I say softly. “But I didn’t shut it down or wipe the number.”
“Why not?”
Kissing her nose, I pull her to me inhaling her scent. “If I had, I would have missed your messages.”
“But by keeping it, you set yourself up to be hunted,” she says sadly.
“You are worth it,” I promise. “And it was a small price to pay for peace.”
“I’m peace for you?”
“Finn,” I say pinning her to the wall. “You are everything to me.”
“I don’t want to see you hurt.”
“Because of me, you have a target on your fucking back. I will not rest until you are safe. I will eliminate every last threat t
o you, and I will do so alone.”
Gripping me tight, she gets in my face and threatens, “Try ditching me and see what happens.”
“You don’t listen for shit,” I growl back.
“I live for adventure, the next big rush. Thing is, I’ve already done it all. Each film is the same, I know the ending. But this adventure is real, Nix. I want real. I want you.”
“You aren’t backing down, are you?”
“Nope,” she smiles wide. “So, I suggest you start teaching me all I need to know to be the middle woman bag guys fear.”
And while the thought of her in danger turned my blood to ice, the thought of having her by my side set the rest of me on fire.
My first paying role felt huge at the time. While I knew it was a bit part and more about showing my skills than making the scene gel, I gave it everything I had.
Back then, I hadn’t cared if it made the final cut or not. I was just thrilled to be noticed at all.
To have a shot. I couldn’t stop smiling or complimenting the actors. Hell, I’d have fetched drinks if they’d asked.
To be a part of this, even a small part, was a dream come true.
So that same day, when the director yelled cut, I ran into Ryan’s waiting arms.
And when I was asked to come back, it was Ryan who held me up.
We’ve been at this scene for two hours.
It wasn’t complicated, and the fact that Silas couldn’t manage to make it look believable was pissing me off. For an action star, he needed a lesson in listening. Normally he had no problem taking instruction from me. However, today? He refused to accept criticism and all of us were paying the price.
“I keep telling you, your hand placement is all wrong. If that gun were live and you fired, the slide would rip the skin off. Plus, you need to stop letting the nose drop. Again, if the gun were live you’d be shooting at –”
“Last time I checked, you are not a firearms instructor, Finn,” he snaps at me. “You’re a stunt woman, a stage hand. Do not make the mistake of telling me how to do my job. Even speaking to me this way is above your pay grade.”
“You may make millions,” I say getting in his face. “But it’s because of low life's like me that you do. We make you look good, Silas. Don’t you forget that.”
“She’s right,” Nix says from his chair speaking for the first time today.
“Who the fuck asked you?” Silas argues. “You bring nothing to this conversation and if you don’t mind your own business, I will have security remove you.”
Abandoning his chair, Nix makes his way to Silas and takes the gun from his hand easily. Quickly flipping it around in his hand, he motions me to take my place. When he nods, I lunge as practiced and was in awe of how fluid and effortlessly Nix danced with me. As our scene came to an end, with me being capped, I took the fake bullet and hit the ground as rehearsed. After helping me up, Nix hands the gun back to Silas and says, “That is how you handle a Kimber 1911 and a worthy adversary.”
As cast and crew applaud us, Silas literally has a fit and stomps away.
And just as quickly as Nix was broadcasting light, he went dark. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”
Like a phantom, he was gone and I couldn’t even follow because I was mobbed by everyone wanting to know who he was and why he wasn’t doing this professionally.
Trusting him to come back when he was finished, I went back to work and pretended to enjoy it.
I remember it was pouring and cold as fuck outside. And that for two and a half hours, I stood next to a fucking payphone waiting for it to ring. Finally, it did and it was the Operator who asked me what I was willing to give up to live this life.
Without hesitation I said, everything.
“Understand me,” she warned. “You are forfeiting family, friends, love, and choices in your own future.”
Truly, it was too easy. “Understood.”
“Then what should I call you?”
Closing my eyes, I said, “Phoenix.”
“Phoenix,” she repeated proudly. “The first, the eternal.”
Hidden by the shadows from the semi-trucks, I palm my weapon just as he palms his.
He’s been around a long time. Over the years we’ve even been known to put our differences aside to have a drink. Thinking on it now, I’d say we’d done that three times.
None of which I enjoyed. Actually, I didn’t much like the guy.
And now he was here to collect and his interruption annoyed me.
“Giving it all up for pussy,” he laughs. “We’re middle men, Phoenix. We kill, we conquer, we deliver death. We don’t love.”
I wasn’t drawing this out by explaining my reasons. Instead, I simply say, “For her, I do.”
“No,” he insists. “You don’t. You can’t. It isn’t possible. It isn’t possible because you made the fucking rules!”
“Crow,” I sigh in annoyance. “When she is in my arms the beast is quiet.” When his eyes go wide, I forge on. “It is possible to feel love because for me, she is love.”
“God dammit,” he snarls. “Ten million for her, Phoenix. Ten! You know why? Because they know the moment she’s eliminated, you’ll come back. Just kill the bitch yourself and come back!”
“I come back and the price on her head dissolves?” I counter. “Bullshit. I’m out, Crow. Now, I only kill for her. Do you understand me?”
“You’ve become a cautionary tale, brother,” he says shaking his head. “A lot of years means a lot of money. All of us amassed riches we can’t spend, have luxuries that mean nothing. Killing the woman you love won’t be easy for me, but I’ll do it because to maintain balance it has to be done. Fuck, Phoenix don’t you see? I’m doing this for you!”
Suddenly, Crow stiffens and I knew why. With a knife to his throat, Finn gives me a sheepish look and says, “Sorry, but I got impatient.”
As Crow attempts to move, Finn warns, “I’ve slit forty-two throats, asshole.”
“So, this is how it ends,” he rolls his eyes. “You partnered up to pick us off one by one? Never pegged you for a coward.”
I tried to stow my features but couldn’t. Letting out a laugh, I ask, “You think I’m setting you up? I don’t give a fuck about the rest of you. I want out, I want her, nothing more.”
“What is with you guys and partners?” she asks with frustration. “And, why is Nix having a partner a bad thing?”
“How in the fuck did you sneak up on me?” Crow asks Finn who wasn’t budging.
“I’m light footed,” she chirps.
“If I wanted you dead, female, you’d already be dead.”
“Not true,” she counters. “But I’ll let it slide if it makes you feel better.”
Locking on me he asks, “Who does she work for, Phoenix?”
“NSA,” she says confidently.
“What the fuck?” Crow yells, but stays still. Smart man.
“National Stunt Association,” she adds. “We’re a union and everything.”
“She’s a fucking stunt woman?” he asks, and I saw the confusion in his eyes.
“She is,” I agree. “Though she’s had more training than all of us, combined. So, I’d think twice before moving.”
“Can I show him my favorite move, Nix?”
Locking on Crow I ask, “Now do you see?”
Glancing at Finn, his face softens a degree and when he says, “Yeah, I see,” I nod to Finn, “Show him your move, Kitten.”
Issuing a hard strike to the side of his head, Crow goes down and Finn shrugs saying, “It’s called the gall bladder 20. Pretty bad ass, right? Pressure point fighting is kind of a hobby. I wasn’t sure it would even work, but hello knockout! I would look adorable in a belt with my name on it, just saying.”
“A lesser man would find you terrifying,” I praise her. “Lucky for you, your aggressiveness just makes me hard.”
Giving a curtsey, I growl her name and demand, “Get your ass over here.”
Saunteri
ng up to me, I take her neck in hand and warn, “You ever put yourself in harm’s way like that again and I’ll –”
“Shut up, Nix,” she interrupts and before I could say more her mouth crashes into mine.
In the middle of devouring her, Crow grates out, “The others won’t be so easily convinced.”
With her arms around my neck, Finn arches her back, stares him down and says sweetly, “Then the others die.”
But there was nothing sweet about it.
He was with me when the keys were handed over. Giddy and trying not to show it, we hauled ass over to my trailer (that even had my name on it) and stepped inside together.
“How do we break it in?” Ryan asks scanning the space.
“As much fun as a rager sounds, let's not forget we're the youngest ones on this lot,” I laughed. “Oh, and we're minors. None of those people want to party with us and legally they can't.”
Smirking at me, Ryan said, “So would you settle for pizza and a pillow fight?” And for the record, he kicked my ass.
In all the years of being on set, I was a trailer virgin.
Pretty much everyone partied and got busy in theirs, except for me. Then again, movie sets were like petri dishes and I watched people get passed around like mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. Ew.
But I was fucking thrilled to be popping that particular cherry tonight because it was with Nix.
The man who apparently has a spanking fetish if my red ass was anything to go by. I wasn’t even fully inside when he tore my shirt. In fucking half! Between worshipping my tits and spanking me, I hadn’t had the chance to return the favor. Sweeping his leg, when Nix falters, I seize my chance taking him to the ground. Straddling his waist, I undo his jeans freeing him into my hand.
“Your dick deserves an Oscar,” I say honestly.
“You haven’t even seen his encore, Finn.”
“I’m going to suck this dick like I stole it, Nix. I have high hopes I’m mentioned in his acceptance speech.”
