“I hope I can be enough for you,” I whispered, knowing he heard me. His footsteps slowed as he pushed me back slightly. My heart galloped in my chest. I didn’t want him to reject me. I’d had too much rejection in my life. Hell, I wasn’t that great with love and how it all worked. I just knew that my band mates and my aunt loved me and I loved them, but what I felt for Ace Ryker was more… so much more than the family type bond and love I had with them.
“Look at me, Presley,” he ordered gently, giving my chin a little nudge.
“Ace,” I sighed, waiting for the blow. He was going to break my heart.
“Everything that you are… is exactly what I need,” he whispered, before claiming my lips in another heated kiss. Tears formed in my eyes, spilling over my lashes. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry, but that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” I sniffled. God, I was a blubbering idiot around this man. He broke through my defenses and cared for me even after I spilled my tragic secrets to him.
“It won’t be the last time you hear things like that from me, either.” He winked, pressing his lips to mine. He pulled back reluctantly. “I think we need a nap before everyone arrives.”
“I think that would be a great idea,” I agreed, smiling up at him. Ace pressed his lips to mine as he walked me backwards to the bunks. I trusted him wholeheartedly and knew that he wouldn’t let me fall. No, Ace was there to catch me in all things.
We climbed into my bunk, finding a comfortable spot. Ace tucked my face into his neck and wrapped his arms around my body, holding me as close as he could in the tight quarters. I didn’t care that we had no room to move. He kissed the top of my head and whispered for me to sleep. I closed my eyes and did as I was told with a smile on my face.
* * *
My body was drenched as I left the stage. The crowd roared for the next few minutes, begging for more, but our time was up. Our crew rushed out as soon as the lights came up in the building. Hal nodded as he began tearing down our equipment. Coraline was waiting to direct the Fatal Cross crew and smiled warmly as I passed.
“It’s me,” Ace warned right before he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. He’d been cautious with me ever since he figured out I had scars. Ace’d had a reputation before he’d gone into rehab, but he’d been nothing but perfect since we’d met.
“I’m all yucky,” I complained, trying to wiggle free, but he was not going to let me go. I smiled and sank back into his chest.
“I don’t care,” he whispered into my ear.
Roadies rushed around us, but I had no desire to think about the outside world. Having him hold me was no longer foreign to me. I found that I needed this. I needed him.
“How much time do you have?” I asked, turning around in his arms. He didn’t let go of me at any time, his arms holding me close.
“About ten minutes before Coraline comes yelling,” he chuckled.
“Walk me to the bus?” I asked, a smile playing on my lips. I was really hoping we could make out, but with Ace, there was no quickie romp in the sheets. He liked to take his time and that was something I appreciated.
“Come,” he ordered, taking my hand.
We left the venue and walked slowly out to the bus. His hand in mine felt amazing and I was a fool to deny that I was falling in love with him.
When we climbed aboard the bus, Ace spun me around and held me close. “Hurry up and change, I want to see you beside me tonight.”
“Okay,” I laughed. “I’ll be right out.”
“Good,” he replied, cupping my face. I melted into his kiss, absorbing every ounce of his affection. “I have to go.”
“Go.” I smiled up at him, releasing my hold on his waist. I immediately missed his touch. “Coraline is going to kick your ass if she can’t find you.”
“Yes, she will,” he laughed, throwing a wink over his shoulder as he rushed down the steps.
I looked up as I heard multiple footsteps. Garrison, Drake, and Brian boarded the bus, their eyes assessing my bright smile. Brian was the first to return the smile; the others followed.
“You’re happy,” Brian observed.
“Very,” I blushed.
“He’s good for you.” Garrison grinned, pulling me into a brotherly hug. He stepped back and I could’ve sworn there were tears in his eyes, but he turned away before I could get a good look at his face.
“He better not hurt you,” Brian warned.
“Oh, I don’t think you will ever have to worry about that,” I stated, the happiness written all over my face. “He treats me right.”
“You deserve this,” Drake said, kissing the top of my head as he passed. I sat heavily on the couch as the guys stripped out of their sweaty shirts. I needed to change clothes myself, but I wanted to spend some time with my brothers before I went back inside.
“Are you going back inside?” Garrison asked, grabbing a clean shirt from his duffle bag.
“Yeah, after I change,” I said, motioning to my own clothes.
“Get dressed and I’ll go back inside with you,” he said as he dug through the refrigerator, looking for something to drink.
I hauled myself off the couch once Brian and Drake were back in the front area of the bus, both with their phones stuck to their ears. It didn’t take me long to throw my hair up into a ponytail. A quick change of clothes and I was ready to head back inside.
Garrison and I made our way to the side of the stage just as Ace was belting out the end to the first song of their set. Ace’s body was tight as he started the next song, but as soon as he looked over his shoulder, spotting me off to the side of the stage, he relaxed and jumped up onto the riser at the front of the stage.
I always loved watching him perform. The man had a stage presence that made everyone in the crowd feel as if he were singing just to them. I’d been mesmerized by the energy he exerted on stage, even with his injuries.
He worked hard to keep himself in shape, always preparing himself mentally and physically before stepping on stage each night. The man was as professional as they come. The entire band had overcome so much to get to where they were at that moment. There was so much happening for them with this new album, they’d be lining up bigger venues before the year was finished.
I wanted that for all of them. They’d proved with hard work and dedication, they could rise above their addictions. Ace had taken his experiences and failures, written them into song, and released them for the world to hear. The response was instantly positive. The fans absorbed every word of this new album and had shown up at each show in record numbers. Most shows were sold out within hours of the announcement.
I saw the moment the jerk threw the bottle of beer on the stage, even though it all happened in slow motion. The liquid inside poured out in a foaming lake as the glass rolled toward where Ace was standing. Ace stepped back just as Cash lunged forward to push him away, but he wasn’t quick enough. The bottle rolled underneath Ace’s left boot, causing him to lose his balance. My heart stopped as his feet flew out from underneath him and his back caught the edge of the riser at the front of the stage.
The music stopped, people gasped… and I was running. Taylor released the strap on his guitar and rushed forward, Braxton jumping from behind his kit. My knees hit the dirty stage floor as I slid to his side.
“Ace!” I gasped. His face was scrunched up in agony. “Don’t move. Talk to me.”
“My… back,” he cried out. His eyes landed on mine and I knew that this wasn’t good. He knew his body better than anyone else and he was strong. Nothing would stop him from getting on that stage. I begged silently for him to get up… to just shake it off. When he shot a look toward Braxton, I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.
“Come on, Presley,” Braxton said, taking my arm.
“No,” I cried, jerking my arm away. “No!”
“Baby, please,” Ace begged. He wouldn’t look at me. I tried to grab his face, but he turned toward his band mate.
“Go with Brax.”
“I’m not leaving you,” I growled, casting a glare over my shoulder, but it didn’t budge the big ass drummer. His focus was on me and I didn’t like it one bit. Ace was hurt and I swore I could feel his pain.
The manager of the venue rushed on stage, ordering his security to watch the crowd. “An ambulance is on the way, Ace.”
“Take Presley to the buses,” he said, laying perfectly still. Ace cursed loudly when he jerked from a sudden flare of pain in his back and I lost it all over again. I saw the agony and defeat in his eyes and I fucking hated it. Braxton reached for me again, but I wasn’t having it.
“If you touch me again, so help me, Braxton, you will have hell on your hands!” I snarled, cursing under my breath. While my anger was at its peak, I rounded on Ace laying helpless on the stage. “If you send me away, I will never forgive you.”
“Then you are going to hate me even more,” he said, closing his eyes. “Presley, I can’t…I just can’t do this right now. Please go to the bus.”
“What?” I whispered. My heart lurched. He was pushing me away. My mind knew why, and I’d give him his space, but why did my tears flow faster? I shoved Braxton away and ran off the stage. I heard Ace curse, but I was too far gone in my misery to even turn around. He was injured and that meant he would be given the pills that he had fought every single day to get away from.
No man will ever want you.
I ran out the back door, not caring when the metal banged against the brick exterior of the building. My tears froze on my face as I raced toward my home on wheels. Feet pounded behind me, racing toward the buses, but I ignored everything and everyone.
I should’ve had your mother abort you.
I only made it as far as the front sitting area before my knees buckled and I pressed my face to the dirty floor, crying with everything I had. Ace was going to lose himself again and I was going down with him.
You’re nothing… just like your mother.
Garrison’s hands wrapped me into a tight hug, pulling my body up off the floor. I shrugged him off. “Don’t touch me!”
I covered my ears, trying to drown out the sound of rejection from Ace and my father. I needed Ace, because he was nothing like my father. Ace was kind and caring. He treated me like I was the most precious thing in his world.
“Why did he push me away?” I cried. “Why?”
“Presley,” he sighed.
“Don’t, Garrison.” I cried harder, feeling all of the hurt and rejection I’d hardened my heart against for all those years. My heart felt like it was tearing itself apart inside my chest, blood oozing from my pores. My mind waged a war against what I knew and what I felt.
“Right now, you need to calm down,” Garrison said gently, stepping back so he could take my face in his hands. “Breathe, Pres.”
“I…I can’t,” I said, taking in as much air as I could through my tight lungs. “He’s pushing me away. He pushed me away, Garrison.” Why did every insecurity I had come rearing its ugly head at this exact moment? Why the fuck did I let it?
“He pushed you away because he doesn’t want you to see him weak,” he explained.
“What? No!” I turned on my heel but was stopped when he grasped the top of my arms. “He’s not weak! I’m going to the hospital.”
“No,” Garrison barked, not releasing his grip. “Let him get looked at. Please, just trust me on this.”
“What do I do?” I whimpered, feeling the fight drain from my body. Ace didn’t want me to be there. I would’ve gone to the hospital to give him strength, but he pushed me away.
“He has to do this on his own,” he said. “A man like Ace has been through hell. He has his head on straight, but he can’t be worrying about you right now. Please, trust me on this, Presley.”
“I’m so selfish,” I said, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. “He shouldn’t be worried about me.”
“You’re not selfish,” he said, kissing my forehead and releasing his hold on my arms. I sagged again, but this time I fell to the couch. “Let him see the doc, Pres. You can’t keep him from needing pain relief. He’ll make the right decision.”
Would he? Could he deny the one thing that he might need to keep him from being in pain? I felt helpless and useless. Ace didn’t even want me at the hospital, holding his hand as the doctor checked him over.
“What can I do for him?” I whispered.
“Wait for him,” he answered. “Let him fight this battle on his own. If he needs you, then he will come to you. Trust me?”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “I trust you.” In fact, I did trust Garrison. He’d been pretty messed up on drugs about eight years ago. The battle he had fought had been hell and I’d been there for him because we were all each other had. It took a while before he was back on his feet. I needed to take his advice, but that didn’t mean I liked it.
“We are going to finish loading up and head out,” Drake said, boarding the bus. When my eyes widened, he held up a hand to stop my questions. “Coraline said she would call with any updates.”
On a nod, I walked toward the back of the bus and grabbed my bag, changing clothes in the small bathroom. I didn’t even care to take a shower. All I could do was climb in my bunk and cry as softly as I could without the guys hearing me.
Chapter 20
Ace
They loaded me on a stretcher right from the stage. The crowd cheered as I gave everyone a thumbs up. It was for their benefit, because my fucking back was throbbing as if Braxton was playing his drums on it.
I cursed as the stretcher was loaded into the ambulance. The bumping and rolling wasn’t making me feel any better. I heard the man give orders that we were ready to go and another person shut the double doors on the back.
A blood pressure cuff was wrapped around my arm as I flinched in pain. Any movement was bad movement, and all I wanted to do was demand relief, but the sane part of my brain wanted to refuse everything they offered.
“No meds,” I groaned, turning my eyes toward the paramedic.
“Sir?” he asked, leaning his ear closer.
“No pain meds,” I repeated, cursing when I moved too quickly.
“Are you allergic?” he asked, writing something down on the clipboard he held in his hands.
“No,” I swallowed. “Addict. Prior addict.”
His eyes roamed my body like he was assessing it for something I wasn’t even sure of, but he nodded and scribbled a note on his papers. I didn’t really care as long as they didn’t shove a bottle of pills in my hand. I wouldn’t take them.
The temptations were there in my pain riddled brain. My addiction sat on my shoulder like a demon, rubbing its hands together… knowing that the high was only minutes away. I refused to go back to those times because I knew the results could be fatal.
“I will inform them as soon as we arrive,” he said, interrupting my thoughts. When the man placed a calming hand on my shoulder, I looked up at his face. “They will take care of you.”
“Thank you,” I said, closing my eyes.
The cool air hitting my face caused my eyes to water. The lights on the underside of the awning leading into the emergency room flickered across my hazy vision as they wheeled me forward. I winced as the stretcher maneuvered over a bump at the threshold of the entry doors.
As I was pushed through the hallways, no one spoke to me or even looked over the rails at my face as we moved forward. The man who’d loaded me up at the venue ripped the piece of paper off his clipboard and handed it to someone to my left. They had a stupid neck brace on me and I hated it. It reminded me of the accident.
“Mr. Ryker,” a female voice called out.
“Yeah,” I answered, moving my hand over my eyes to block out the light above my head. I felt a pain bloom behind my eyes and I closed them as the nurse continued.
“I need you to tell me what happened,” she asked politely.
“Took a fall,” I began. “I slipped on a beer bottle a
nd fell against a metal riser. I had two back surgeries a few years ago.”
“Is the pain in the same area?” she continued.
“Yes,” I answered. “I cannot take any Oxy. I’m a recovering addict.”
“I will inform the doctor,” she promised, giving me a warm smile. I tried to relax for a moment, hoping like hell they didn’t give me any of that shit. I couldn’t even trust myself to look at one of those pills. I’d be right back in the pits of hell it took me so long to climb out of if I did.
“Mr. Ryker, my name is Doctor Evans,” the doc said, pushing through the door. He was around my age and had kind eyes. Those eyes of his hardened as he read over the paper that was in his hand.
“Your blood pressure is dangerously high,” he informed me. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad is your pain?”
“Eight, shit,” I cursed, feeling the throbbing increase in my lower back.
“I need to give you something for the pain, but I’ve been told you are refusing medications.” He took a stool and rolled it over to my bedside.
“I can’t take any opiates,” I gritted out through my clenched teeth.
“I’m going to give you Toradol for your pain,” he began, but stopped me when I started to protest. “It is what we give people who are addicted to the pain killers. I’m going to add a muscle relaxer to the I.V. to keep you somewhat still while we run some tests on you. I need to get an image of that back of yours.”
“It’s not habit forming?” I asked, needing to make absolutely sure.
“I’m not going to push anything on you that could put you back into an addiction, Mr. Ryker,” the doc explained. “Let’s get you started and I’ll have them come and take you down for your tests. As soon as I know something, I’ll be right back in to let you know what we found.”
“Thank you,” I said, and I meant it.
The nurse rushed around, setting up an I.V. and administering the medicines. It took about five minutes before I felt a difference. Oh, the pain was still there, but it’d been dulled and I felt the tension in my back ease. There was none of the dopey feeling I used to get when I’d taken the other pain pills. Since the moment I’d fallen on stage, I finally felt hopeful that everything was going to be okay.
Fatal Temptations (Fatal Cross Live! Book 2) Page 13
