"Your flattery isn't going to get me to fuck you behind this goat pen."
He blinked once then twice. "Whoa, that wasn't what I was suggesting at all...unless you want to?"
He gave me a smolder that could have rivaled a Disney prince.
"You're lucky I’m drunk and think you're cute," I said, yanking his arm around the corner.
"What? That actually worked? Sweet," he said with a big goofy grin on his face.
I smiled and leaned against the back of the pen, out of sight from the windows of the Conti house.
"No, but I think if I can get you half-naked, I could get one hell of a payday from TNC for a photo of swimmer peen," I said, pulling my phone out of my skirt pocket.
His eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare."
I waved my phone and licked my lips. "Try me."
He moved forward, taking both of my wrists in one of his big hands before holding them above my head and pressing his broad chest against mine.
"What are you going to do now, Sofie?" he whispered with his lips barely an inch from mine.
I figured that was basically an open invitation, so I leaned forward, crushing my lips to his.
He put his knee between my legs, spreading them apart and pressing all of him against me.
"Oh my god, that's so fucking hot," I mumbled against his lips, which sounded more like, "Oh meh ger,sah fern hert."
"So you're a talker, eh?" he said against my ear before nipping it.
"Wait, don't leave bitemarks. I need those for work. My ears, that is," I said.
Johnny leaned back, the moonlight casting a soft glow on his face. "Are you way too drunk right now to do anything?"
"Are you?" I asked raising an eyebrow before rocking my hips forward and feeling his hardness press against my core. "Guess not."
"You could get me hard whether I've been drinking all night or not," he said, pushing against me and moving his hips in a circular motion, the friction itself bringing me to the brink.
"Is this because I got my braces off and learned to straighten my hair? Because you probably wouldn’t be doing this if I was still the geek from two years ago. Though, I am still that geek, just with better hair and eyebrows," I said.
"If you sit on my face will that get you to stop rambling?" he asked.
I pouted. "No need to be rude."
"Sorry," he whispered, leaning forward. He let go of one of my wrists but kept the hand with my phone in it above my head.
"You can’t just say sorry and expect I’m going to drop my panties for you. That only works in romance novels and porn," I grumbled, trying to keep my face neutral, but the guy had a smile I would definitely sit on.
"What? I gave you dinner; well, the Conti's fed you, but I did do those really weird tasting shots with you, and there's nothing more romantic than humping against a goat house," he said, broadening his grin.
"Technically, it's a pen," I said.
He smirked. "Okay, smart mouth. If this isn't a come-on, then what was that whole bit about being hot and fluttering your eyelashes?"
"I was hot! I'm wearing a sweater, and we were drinking. And as far as eyelashes go, sometimes mine stick together when I use this cheap mascara. Lia told me to spring for something not in the clearance bin, but that extra five dollars could be used for things like snacks."
He laughed; a great sound that came from deep in his stomach. His stomach that was still against mine and very hard, as were other things."A woman after my own heart. But I'd go for licorice."
He leaned in ever so slightly, licking my bottom lip. "Which is exactly what you taste like."
"Screw it," I muttered, before putting my free hand on his chest, and pulling his lips back to mine.
I'd had sex a grand total of three times. The first time, he finished on my shoe after three minutes. So we gave it a second try, and he came on the floor before he even entered me. By the third time, he did finish, but then confessed he was gay after I'd dated him for six months. We still dated for another three months before he left me for a guy in his dance troop.
I wasn't a quick hookup girl, but hell, for a gold medal swimmer, I could be.
"Wait, wait," Johnny said, pulling back with his eyes still closed.
"What? Don't tell me now you're over me. Is it the lip gloss? I can rub it off."
He shook his head then took my cell phone, which had dropped to the ground in our heated kissing. "I'm totally not a hookup guy, even though you won’t believe me, but I'd feel better if I at least got your number and you gave me yours."
"Really? You're giving me blue labe to get my phone number? Can't we do this after," I asked.
He slid my phone in his pocket. "Eff it. You're right."
His lips were back on mine, and he slowly lifted me up, pressing my back against the wall of the goat pen as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Wall sex—that's really freaking hot," I murmured, still not sure if my horniness was sobering me up, or if I just couldn't shut up.
He kissed down my neck and steadied me with one hand as he reached into his back pocket with the other, then held his wallet between us. "It's been a while, but I think I have a condom in there if you can get it."
I raised an eyebrow. "Why can't you get it?"
He smirked, sliding his hand down to my skirt and pushing my panties to the side before he hooked a finger inside of me.
"Holy..." I arched my back and swore the man hit my G-spot and every other tingling nerve he could with those long fingers.
"Because I'm busy," he whispered, his hooded eyes locked on mine.
I quickly opened his wallet that had two one-dollar bills and a bunch of game tickets from Chuck E Cheese then found the lone condom. I chucked the wallet on the ground, but before I could open the foil wrapping, an orgasm took hold, and I had to grip Johnny's shoulders to keep from falling over.
"Damn, that's hot when you come undone on my fingers," he said, still moving his expert digits in and out of me.
"If you keep doing that, I'm never going to be able to open this. What if I rip it? Then what?" I asked.
Johnny grinned and slowly moved his hand to my hip. "Then I guess we'll be having some little swimmers."
"You're going to completely dry me up if you keep talking like that," I said, rolling my eyes.
Johnny took the condom from my hand and ripped it open with his teeth before spitting out the top of the wrapper. "It won’t take me too long to get you worked up again."
I sucked in a deep breath, and Johnny stopped, literally with his hand down his pants. "If you don’t want to do this, tell me now. I'll go beat off and hope the goat doesn't try and lick my ass, but if you don't want to do this, we don't have to."
I'd never had a guy ask me to stop when we were getting hot and heavy. Or a guy who didn’t know if he had a condom. Something was different about Johnny and not just because he was hot and smelled like chlorine.
Without breaking eye contact, I put my hand on his then slowly slid his hardness out of his pants and grabbed the condom from him.
Thank God, he was circumcised because I had no idea what I would have done if it was something I hadn't seen before.
I rolled the condom over him as he bit down on his lower lip.
"You have amazing hands, did you know that?" he asked.
I pushed my panties to the side and slowly arched my back and guided him inside me with my free hand. "I have many awesome parts."
He grinned and grabbed my hips, rocking gently inside me. I put my hands on his shoulders, and we guided our bodies together. And oh hell, did it feel better than anything else ever had. This was nothing compared to my halfway screw sessions. This was rainbows and sunshine and fireworks.
I'd just had an orgasm not a minute before, and now, I was clenching around him and clawing at his shoulders, trying not to scream. I didn’t even know multiple orgasms were possible.
Johnny continued rocking inside me, his lips going from my mouth to my neck and my e
ars as he moved inside me.
I wanted more. I was getting high off his body. I grabbed his butt and whispered, "Harder."
"Only if you don’t stick anything in my butt," he growled before grabbing my hipbones and pushing me against the shed as he thrust long and hard.
"Holy!" I screamed, unable to hold it in.
He pushed harder, bringing me to the brink again, and I arched back, my body shaking, unable to control the climax that took over me.
And apparently, the goat pen couldn't control itself either.
Everything moved in slow motion as I first heard the 'errr' then the pen toppled over, and Johnny and I went with it.
It wasn’t until I was flat on my back and I felt the rip of my panties against my leg that I was able to move again and process what happened.
A crowd had gathered at the back door, and it was too late to pull my skirt down or pretend it was just a hot make-out session.
"Are y'all okay out there?" someone yelled.
Johnny jumped up quickly and pulled his pants up before helping me stand. "Yeah. We're good," he yelled.
"Are you sure? Man. Shit. Is Capra okay?" Before I could say anything otherwise, Sonny was running toward the pen with his older brother, Nicky, alongside him.
Both guys stopped, staring at us wide-eyed then at the pen then back at us.
Nicky shook his head. "Un-fucking-believable."
"I’ll pay to fix the pen. I'm sorry...we… just..." Johnny stammered, running his fingers through his hair.
Sonny just shook his head. "We can talk about that later. Just zip up your pants and get the goat shit out of your hair before coming inside."
With that, Sonny and Nicky turned and left us standing there.
"So...think I can still get your number?" Johnny asked, zipping up his pants and pulling my phone out of his pocket. I had no idea where he put the condom, and I didn’t want to ask.
"Um...sure..."I replied, taking his phone and typing my number in the contacts.
He looked at the door. "I guess we should go back inside and then try to apologize to Lia's scary parents."
I laughed, handing him his phone and taking mine back. "Yeah.Though Nonna may be even scarier. This is her goat."
Johnny laughed, looking back at the sleeping goat who didn't even move.
"Gonna go with me to face Nonna?" he asked, holding his hand out to me.
I smiled, taking his hand. "I guess it's the least I can do."
The End
* * *
About the Author
Magan Vernon has been living off of reader tears since she wrote her first short story in 2004. She now spends her time killing off fictional characters, pretending to plot while she really just watches Netflix, and she tries to do this all while her two young children run amok around her Texas ranch.
* * *
STALK
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Gesundheit
Meghan Quinn
Andrew
* * *
“Dude, she’s not showing up.”
“She’s showing up,” I shoot back, shuffling in place and looking around nervously.
“You invited her to a tree-planting ceremony with your team, as a third date. She’s not showing up,” Jon, my quarterback replies, a smartass smirk on his face. “I’m sure she has better things to do, like doing some bendy shit on a floor mat, or wash her hair. . .”
“She’s fucking showing up,” I reply, losing my patience with my friend.
When I asked Brynn Larson out to today’s Arbor Day celebration, my intention was to connect with her over our common fondness for nature. I wasn’t actually thinking about the lameness of the actual date. And it sure as shit didn’t cross my mind that the entire offensive line of my team would be joining me. My intentions were to plant a tree together, make an impact, show Mother Nature that even though I’m a giant six-foot-five tight end with skillful catching hands, I can take a moment to appreciate the earth I live on . . . and maybe make out in the woods with the girl I like.
But I can’t get my tongue action on if she’s not here.
When Jon’s girlfriend, Katie Hannity, Olympic gold medalist in gymnastics, suggested I go out with her teammate, Brynn, I was a little intimidated. Hell, the girl has three gold medals all from flipping around like a boss. Not to mention she’s sexy as shit with her long blonde hair and big blue eyes encased by the longest fucking eyelashes I’ve ever seen. She’s gorgeous.
So, like a pussy, I went to social media, made a video asking her out and had fans spread the news so she was practically forced to say yes. Although, her response was reassuring that she wasn’t just throwing me a bone. She actually blushed when someone asked her if I was cute. She nodded and smiled shyly. That boosted the ego. So I reached out to her minus social media and we set up a date.
Want to talk about fucking awkward? We double-dated with Jon and Katie thinking it would be a good way to break the ice, but no. Katie gabbed on the entire night not letting anyone else speak. And of course, they all drove together so I gave Brynn an extremely stiff hug good-bye with prying eyes watching over me.
The next day, Jon made it his mission to use my nuts as a personal bean-bag, constantly ragging on me for “not being a man.” If his girlfriend had actually shut up, maybe I could have gotten some words in, but I refrained from pointing that out since I still needed Jon and Katie on my good side.
Our second date, well, that one went well. I took her out to see a movie in a park, brought some wine and a charcuterie platter that she raved about, and we spent the night snuggled close and ended it with a dick-growing make-out session in my car where we might have gotten slightly handsy. She was about to reach the Promised Land when her dad knocked on the window of my car, glaring at me. I wanted to punch the fucker in the face and tell him she’s twenty-one and can make her own decisions, but once again, I refrained because I need him on my side as well.
So, now in a desperate attempt to see her again as soon as possible, I invited her to celebrate Arbor Day with me.
Yup, Arbor Day.
Christ, I’m so lame.
“Want me to text Katie so she can find out where Brynn is?” Jon asks with a smirk.
“No. I can text Brynn myself.”
“Well . . . are you going to text her?” Jon nods at my phone that’s clutched dangerously tight in my palm.
Scanning the area again, I shake my head. “I don’t want to look desperate.”
“But you are desperate.”
“No shit,” I shoot back. “But I’m trying to mask that, jackass.” Frustrated, I run my hand through my hair and look toward the parking lot. That’s when I spot her, pushing down the flowy dress she’s wearing, the wind whipping it up in all different directions. Her blonde locks are tightly wound into a knot on the top of her head, her shoes, which I’m pretty sure women call wedges, are slightly inappropriate for the event, and that dress is showing off a vast amount of toned long legs.
Fuck me.
She’s hot. She’s stop-breathing kind of hot. The kind of hot that makes me think of stupid shit, like, would she be able to do a cartwheel and land precisely on my dick? Fuck, the mere notion of it has been taunting me. She can vault like master and stick the landing. If it was her vagina to my dick, would she be just as accurate?
“Ah, looks like she did decide to show up.”
Adjusting the collar of my shirt, I regain a little of the confidence I was lacking only moments ago. “Of course she decided to show up. I wasn’t worried.”
Jon barks out in laughter. “You’re such a fucking liar. Your swe
aty armpits tell me differently.”
Fuck!
I lift my arm to glance at my light blue dress shirt to check for pit stains when Jon laughs some more. There are no sweat marks.
“You’re an asshole.” Brynn walks up to me before Jon can reply, a bright smile on her face, pink gloss decorating her lips. God, she’s perfect.
“Hey, Andrew.” She glances at Jon and gives him a small wave. “Jon, good to see you.”
Jon nods at her. “You too, Brynn.” Smiling devilishly, he adds, “Can’t believe you’re letting this dickhead take you out on an Arbor Day date.”
Apparently Jon doesn’t believe in bro-code. Noted. Prick.
Smiling politely, Brynn looks up at me and answers, “I can’t resist a good tree trunk.” Glancing down at my crotch, she quickly adverts her eyes back to mine and winks.
Oh shit, she’s talking about my dick. That’s my kind of girl.
Laughing, Jon pats me on the shoulder, then thankfully, starts to leave. “You got yourself a winner.” He then turns to Brynn and says, “I wouldn’t count on a tree trunk, sweetheart. I share a locker room with the dude.”
“Fuck you,” I say with mirth, but really wanting to taint-kick the prick across the parking lot. Everyone in the locker room knows I hang well. It’s poor Sanderson, our kicker, who has a pencil for a pecker.
Jon laughs his way to the small table where drinks are set up, leaving me alone with Brynn.
Grabbing her hand, I entwine our fingers together and smile down at her. “I was afraid you weren’t going to come.” I can be honest with her, not to my ass of a friend.
“Why wouldn’t I come to this fantastic Arbor Day celebration with you?” She giggles, her voice hitting me straight to my groin. Does she have any clue how seductive her voice is?
“Yeah, it’s not the best date.” I pull her in a little closer, her pheromone-inducing perfume grabbing hold of my balls and putting them directly in her purse. I’m at her mercy. “But I’m just happy I get to see you again before I head out for another exhibition game.”
F*CKING AWKWARD HOLIDAYS: 25 Short Stories of Awkward Holiday Encounters Page 29
