At the end of the four days, she had felt herself starting to take stock and think about dealing with her past, so she had been MORE than happy to go back to work on Wednesday.
Now, as she opened the door to her rented blue Honda Accord, Katie took in a deep breath and let out a cleansing sigh. The air smelled of a familiar combination: sweet from Mrs. Greyson’s beautiful flower bed, and fresh from the trees that lined the street. Katie was home.
She moved to the back of the car, popped open the trunk, and reached for her suitcase. She was stopped cold in her tracks by the sound of a man’s voice.
“Need a hand Kit Kat?” a deep voice sounded from behind her.
A shudder rippled through her body and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Her carry-on slipped from her shoulder and dropped to the cement ground of the driveway.
“Jason?” she said, her voice a whisper of disbelief.
Katie had known that she would have to face Jason at some point on her trip home. He was, after all, the best man in Sophie’s wedding - and seeing as how Sophie was marrying Jason’s little brother, Bobby, well let's just say it was inevitable that their paths would cross. She just thought she would have a little more time to prepare herself before she came face to face with him.
She also thought she would have the buffering (protective?) shield of a room full of people surrounding them.
Nope. Here they were. About to be face to face, for the first time in a decade. Alone.
She stood frozen with her back to him, staring down at her pink and black suitcase, wishing with all her might that she could just climb into the trunk and hide. That, however, was probably not the most mature response to this encounter...and also, shall we say, not the most subtle.
As the realization sank in that the extra time and buffer-people she so desperately needed to get through this encounter with Jason WERE NOT FLIPPING FORTHCOMING, Katie felt as though the air was literally being sucked from her lungs.
Great. Panic attack number two, here we go. And right in front of him. So, yeah. You could say this visit was not going well.
Jason Andrew Sloan had chestnut brown hair, whiskey-colored soulful brown eyes, and a smile that could, as her Aunt Wendy always said, “melt butter in a freezer.” He was also the first person Katie had met in her kindergarten class at Harper's Crossing Elementary.
23 Years Ago
It was the first day of Kindergarten and Katie was paired up with a boy as a table buddy. A BOY! Could this day get any worse? The class’ first official assignment as kindergartners was to write their names on the white paper sitting on the desk in front of them and then tape it to the back of their seats.
Katie wrote her name in all capital letters and rainbow colors and taped it on the back of her seat, just as she had been instructed to do. She was proud of finishing her assignment in time to go out for recess. She noticed her table buddy (THE BOY!) had not.
After the first recess, when the kids came back into the classroom, she saw a few of them standing around her chair laughing. As she walked up behind them to sit in her seat she saw that the 'ie' at the end of 'Katie' on the nameplate she had been so proud of had been crossed out, and the word 'Kit' had been written in front of the 'Kat' that remained of her original creation.
She was so embarrassed. Why would anybody ruin her name paper? She looked over to see her table buddy Jason (THE BOY!), smiling a toothless grin from ear to ear as he patted her chair “I think this is your seat, Kit Kat,” he said.
All the kids started laughing and Katie just slumped down in her chair, furious at her table buddy aka THE BOY aka Jason Sloan.
Jason never admitted to being the one who had defaced her beautiful rainbow colored name paper but she knew deep down in her heart that he was the culprit. And she would never forget it, just like no one ever forgot the nickname. From that day on Katie Lawson was Kit Kat. Well, to all the kids in Harper’s Crossing Elementary, anyways.
Present Day
His voice interrupted her thoughts now.
“Wow all this time and you know it’s me without even having to turn around. I guess that means I still got it,” he said with his usual cocky tone. A tone that had always amused Katie, not that she would ever let him know that. His ego was big enough!
Jason had had girls swooning over him for as long as she had known him. In fact, Katie believed that even their sixth grade math teacher Mrs. Carson had a crush on him. Whenever Jason would turn on the charm, usually to get out of detention for not completing his homework or being tardy, Mrs. Carson would just smile as her cheeks turned a light shade of red and say, “Oh, Jason if you were just 10 years older…”
Mrs. Carson never finished the sentence but Katie always knew what she meant, and Jason never got detention…at least in that class.
But, it’s not like his charm only worked on older women. Jason had always had girls eating out of his hand and he knew it. There wasn’t a single girl in Harper's Crossing that wouldn’t do just about anything to get Jason’s attention.
Well, there was one girl. Katie.
“Oh yeah, you still got it, Mr. Sloan,” Katie said sarcastically, trying to buy herself even a few more seconds before she would have to face him, “If by 'it' you mean the maturity of a five year old, then yes, you definitely still have 'it.' There's no other explanation for why you would still call me by that stupid nickname.”
All of the oxygen seemed to have disappeared around her. Deliberately and methodically, she slowly breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, trying desperately to remain as calm as possible. She HAD to be calm in hopes of staving off panic attack #2. She absolutely couldn't think about how humiliating it would be to fall to pieces in front of him, of the maddening satisfaction it would give him, or fear would take over – her heart would start to race, her breathing would quicken...and it would all be downhill from there.
“Come on Kit Kat...you know you always loved that nickname,” Katie heard Jason say playfully, but his voice sounded as if it were coming from a long distance, across a great expanse. She felt his hand grasp her arm, and then she felt her body being turned in his direction.
As Jason’s fingers wrapped around her arm they were causing tingling sensations in places located much lower south and not nearly as innocent as the place where he was touching her. Hmm, that wasn't a very good sign. It also wasn't doing a whole helluva lot to help her in the campaign to keep her heart rate under control and slow her breathing. Nope. Not one little bit.
As she turned, her eyes alighted on a broad chest that...oh my, yes...filled out his white t-shirt quite well. Her mouth instantly filled with saliva, like one of Pavlov's dogs. Hmmm, she thought...so this is what they mean when they say something looks 'mouth-watering.' She didn't disagree! In an effort to avoid drooling, she swallowed, but to her own ears it sounded like a shockingly loud gulp.
Slowly, Katie moved her eyes up the length of the solid, strong, statue-like figure standing mere inches away from her. She paused momentarily to admire (against her will) the smooth, olive skin at the base of Jason’s neck. It just so nicely contrasted with the stark white color of the t-shirt's v-neck it was peeking out of, she couldn't help herself!
Unconsciously, she licked her lips and saw the pulse on Jason’s neck jump. Her eyes darted up to meet his chocolate brown ones, which caused the aforementioned tingling places to start pulsing.
Katie felt her heart beating so hard she thought it might beat right out of her chest. And the mantra began.
You can breathe. Just breathe. Breathe in and out slowly. You can breathe.
--- ~ ---
As Jason stood in front of Katie, who was wearing a simple grey tank top and blue jeans, he was momentarily paralyzed with shock at the effect that she had on him.
Suddenly he was back in Mrs. Garcia’s kindergarten classroom.
23 Years Ago
It was the first day of kindergarten FINALLY. Best. Day. Ever.
Putting his bac
kpack in his cubby he felt a brush of something that tickled his arm. When he swatted his arm he felt the softest, silkiest thing he had ever touched.
When he looked up to see what it was, he couldn’t believe his eyes. There she stood, a real-life angel! Rays of sunlight from the window streamed through her long blonde hair, and she was looking down at him with the biggest blue eyes Jason had ever seen in his life.
The earth stopped spinning and everything stood still. Nothing existed except this amazing creature. She slowly reached her hand to her neck and flipped her long blonde hair behind her back as she placed her backpack in her cubby.
Jason could not speak. This was a new phenomenon for Jason, as the spoken word had always been one of his greatest gifts.
Since the time Jason was able to put two words together he always knew just the right thing to say to either get out of trouble, get what he wanted, or just put a smile on the faces of the women in his life. Even before he was old enough to speak, he had exuded a natural born mojo. The first word ever used to describe Jason in the nursery was charming. All of the nurses in the infant care ward would fight over who could hold him. Even as a newborn he had a twinkle in his eye and a little smirk on his lips that the opposite sex just couldn’t get enough of. But in this moment, five year old Jason could not even remember how to say, 'Hi.'
But, luck was on his side, as it usually was. YES! He was assigned to the same table as this heavenly being. Jason could barely sit still next to her. He fidgeted, and couldn't keep his eyes off of her.
She, on the other hand, sat next to him totally composed, completely ignoring him, working on their first assignment, the name paper.
Jason had tried all morning to get her attention somehow, but to no avail. When she finished her paper, she looked so proud of it as she taped it to the back of her seat.
When she sat down again beside him, he had the sudden urge to pinch her, just to see what she would do. Anything to get her attention! He was desperate to have her acknowledge him!
But, reason prevailed, and he realized that pinching her wouldn't be the best course of action. He had to keep thinking. Before another plan could take shape, however, she was out the door to recess.
Finally, genius struck! As he sat in his chair while all the other kids were at recess he decided he would ‘redecorate’ her name paper to give her a nickname. That would be a way he could start to talk to her, an ice breaker of sorts. He knew that would get her attention. And it would be special! If he gave her a special name paper decoration, she would know for SURE how special he thought she was!
He looked at her name page, which so beautifully read 'Katie' and the first thing that came to Jason’s mind was Kit Kat...the best candy bar in the whole world! He quickly changed her paper to read just that.
He had not expected any of the other kids to notice it when they came in from recess, or to think it was funny. It was supposed to be a special, inside secret between him and his blonde angel.
In fact, to be honest, he had completely forgotten that any other kids were even in their class. No one existed in the room for him but Katie.
But after the look on Katie’s face when the other kids were all gathered around her desk in giggles, Jason knew that he had made a huge mistake.
Okay, he had to fix this and quick. The only thing he knew to do was try to relieve some of the tension by stating the obvious. It was part of his charm, Jason was always being accused of saying what everyone was thinking. Instinct kicked in and he simply said “I think this is your seat, Kit Kat”.
He was shocked to see a look of anger and embarrassment that suddenly appeared on Katie’s face. He didn’t know how things had gone so terribly wrong or why his charm and wit had not gotten the smile that always had appeared on the opposite sex's face whenever he spoke. But the one thing he did know was that he had never met anyone else who made him feel the way this girl sitting next to him made him feel.
And he hadn't known it yet at the time, but he never would.
Present Day
The same feeling that had paralyzed him upon seeing her for the first time in Kindergarten class washed over Jason now as he stood in front of Katie. His world stopped spinning and she was the only thing that existed.
Katie had grown into the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Standing five foot three, with a petite figure that had curves in all the right places, she still had incredible long blonde hair, and the most intoxicating blue eyes in existence.
And when he looked at her, he still saw his angel.
--- ~ ---
Unable to get control of her breathing, Katie closed her eyes. She still felt that she needed to say something to break this awkward silence, but she just wasn't sure she could speak without croaking. Also, she wasn't sure she even remembered what they were talking about.
What were they talking about again?
Oh, yeah.
“No, Jason, YOU always loved that nickname,” Katie retorted, her eyes sparking, “which always surprised me, because – as witty and creative as you claim to be – I would have thought you could come up with something just a little more original.”
She strove to keep her voice light and even, but she could hear the tension in it, as tight as a wire. She concentrated on keeping her breathing steady, on pulling her voice back into a tone that sounded as casual and nonchalant as if she were merely taking note of the weather, and not confronting Jason Sloan on the creation of that hyper-charged nickname.
She decided that this casual demeanor could be better effected if she avoided eye contact with him. One tiny glance in his direction convinced her that she was right. Her cheeks flushed and her breathing threatened to gallop out of control again.
Yep. No eye contact. No eye contact was definitely the way to go.
Sigh.
Katie stared across the street, determined that she absolutely was not going to get trapped. She was going to look anywhere but into those big, sexy, soulful eyes. Those eyes would immediately rip away any artifice and reveal the raw truth, pushing aside any mask that she attempted to wear – and that mask was, as of right now, the only thing hiding the evidence of the intense feelings washing over her, as strong as a tidal wave.
She didn't need him looking directly into the gateway to her soul, thankyouverymuch. She was going to go ahead and keep those “tidal wave” feelings to herself.
Growing up, she had always thought Jason was really cute, sure. In a mischievous boy sort of way. But the specimen that stood before her now was no boy. No sirree. Nope. This was definitely a man. And the sexiest man Katie had ever been in the presence of, at that.
Brad Pitt, eat your heart out.
“Who said I came up with that nickname?” Jason asked with playful innocence coloring his voice. She knew that he knew exactly what he was doing. For some odd reason ruffling Katie's feathers had always been his favorite pastime and he still knew exactly how to evoke the reaction he craved.
“Come on, seriously? Are you STILL going to deny it? Pathetic,” Katie's voice wavered between irritation and frustration. It was clear that the topic was well-covered ground.
Instantly, Katie's breathing returned to normal and her lightheadedness vanished. Hmmm. Guess you can't be supremely annoyed and have a panic attack simultaneously, she mused. Good to know.
Now that she had indignation flowing through her veins like liquid lightening, she turned and tilted her face up to Jason's, planning to continue her diatribe about his denial of the origin of the nickname, but immediately froze in her tracks.
Big mistake. ABORT!
Her first instinct had been correct. Note to self: avoid eye contact with Jason Sloan at all costs.
Katie realized in that moment that no matter how strong she felt going into it, eye contact with Jason would always be a supremely bad idea for a couple of reasons.
First, she didn't want him to have any inkling of the powerful effect he was having on her body.
Second...well,
let's just say she was still feeling more than a little embarrassment and guilt about the way she had behaved the last time she had seen Jason.
It was the night of Nick's funeral.
You know, Katie thought to herself, remember Nick? Your boyfriend? Jason's best friend? Remember how Jason came over that night to check on your freaking wellbeing?
Yeah. She remembered. Oh boy did she remember.
Things had gotten a little out of control. A little...Katie felt a blush creep up her cheeks as she searched for just the right word.
Heated. Yes...heated.
They had gotten interrupted, but Katie had promised to meet him at the Dairy Queen at 8 am the next morning. She hadn't. By the time 8 am rolled around, she had been sitting in her Grandma May's sunny yellow kitchen, over 100 miles away.
Of course, Jason hadn't known that. He'd only known that she didn't show up.
Katie started to tremble as flashes of memory from that night began to assault her. Jason's hands on her skin. His mouth on her neck. Her body filled passion as she willed the pleasure he was giving her to block out the pain...dear God, please...just to block out the pain.
All she wanted was oblivion, but she had never known oblivion could feel so sweet.
Then, new snippets of memory hit her. What had come next. The footsteps on the stairs. The panic that had flooded them, causing them to spring out of bed and begin the frantic dance of pulling on clothes at top speed.
Jason's refusal to leave unless she promised to meet him, and her hurried acquiescence, lest they get caught. His rakish smile as he disappeared out her window.
Katie took a deep breath, steeling herself under the assault of memory. How had she gone for ten years and managed not to think about this? To think about that night...and that smile?
Especially considering it was the last time she had seen his face for ten years.
As soon as her mom and aunt had opened the door – about one millisecond after Jason's head had disappeared from view through the window, thank God – Katie had turned around and, shell shocked, announced that she wanted to go and stay with Grandma May for the rest of the summer.
My First (Jason & Katie) Page 2
