by Banks, R. R.
"No. I don't have any family."
"You don't?"
"Not that I have anything to do with anymore."
"So, you're going to celebrate Christmas alone?"
"That's the point. I'm not celebrating Christmas this year."
"But it'll be Christmas at the end of your trip."
"I know. But that's just a date on the calendar. I don't have to actually celebrate."
"Why aren't you celebrating Christmas?"
She narrowed her eyes at me.
"Why are you so interested in whether I celebrate a holiday or not?"
"I'm not, it's just --- it's Christmas. I love Christmas. The only thing better was when Charlie was born."
"Well, I don't have any children, and I don't have any siblings, so I don't have any nieces or nephews. My best friend is going to be gone for the holiday, and a really nasty breakup right before eating Thanksgiving dinner kind of put the cherry on the whole sucky holiday season. So, I'm just skipping it."
"You stayed and ate Thanksgiving dinner with the family after he broke up with you?" I asked.
"What do you suggest I should have done? He was my ride and I wasn't terribly eager to go out to his parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, siblings, cousins, and any number of other extraneous branches on his family tree, announce that after five years together he had just turned me into the Thanksgiving football and punted my ass right out of his life with no explanation, and then stand outside in the cold waiting for a ride that was probably never going to come. Not my idea of a delightful holiday. So, I kept my mouth shut, I ate my turkey, and then I went home."
"How did you eat?"
"What?"
"You said that you kept your mouth shut, but that you ate your turkey. How did you do that?"
"You are seriously an ass; did you know that? Has anyone ever told you that you are just seriously an ass? It's no wonder that your wife left you. I can't imagine anyone being able to deal with you."
"Well, that's all going to be fixed soon."
"What do you mean? You're going to hop in your time machine, go back, and not drive her into insanity and divorce? You might want to check the crash statistics before you do that. You wouldn't want to put yourself in a risky situation or anything."
I chose to ignore her, willing myself to remember why I was traveling and the goal that I had for this trip. I wasn't going to let this woman steal my holiday spirit.
"I'm going to visit my son, but I'm also going to visit my ex-wife. I'm going to tell her that I think that it's time for her and Charlie to come back and that we should work on our relationship."
"Are you serious?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why did the two of you get divorced?"
"We fought a lot. I was always really busy at work and stressed out, and she would lash out and it would get pretty nasty. Sometimes she would leave for a couple of days to cool off. Then I found out that she had been gambling and cheating on me."
"So, let me just sum this up. Your work was more important to you than your wife, so you didn't pay enough attention to her, which made you fight, but then instead of making any effort to let you know that, she turned into a raving bitch that would just up and disappear on you without any explanation, spending your money, and probably banging the hell out of any man who walked by her. Yet you want to sweep her off her feet and whisk her home. Good luck turning that into a Christmas card."
"What can you possibly know about it? You've never been married. You have no idea what it's like to try to keep a marriage together and to want to have a family for your child."
"At least I respect myself enough not to try to convince someone who obviously doesn't want anything to do with me that we should be together just because it's the holidays and I'm feeling nostalgic."
I stared at her incredulously.
"You sat down and ate Thanksgiving dinner with the man who had just broken up with you and his family."
Holly stood up sharply and stalked toward the door.
"Tell your ex that I said good luck."
She slammed the door behind her as much as you can slam the door of a train sleeper car, leaving me staring at it. I turned the lock and dug in my bag for my book. Climbing onto the bed that Holly had pulled down from the wall, I opened the well-worn paperback, hoping I could put Holly and our conversation out of my mind for the rest of the trip.
Chapter Four
Holly
Who the hell did that man think he was? Making fun of me for my breakup when he was the one traipsing off to try to convince his ex-wife to come back to him. At least I never acted like that with Ben. Of course, I've only had a couple of weeks to stew in the crazy, so maybe I just haven't reached the point where I'm ready to fling myself upon him and pretend that nothing had happened, and we were going to ring in the New Year together.
I made my way reluctantly back to my seat, not looking forward to having to wedge myself back into the corner next to my slumbering travel companion. When I arrived, I saw that he had overtaken the arm between the two seats and, much like a jar of slime that has been tipped over on its side, was now oozing over into my seat. I wasn't feeling any interest in being a part of that, so I reached into the overhead compartment and took out the smaller of my bags before making my way through the cars to the cafe.
Not as fancy as the lounge with its bar complete with bartender who seemed to never be affected by the swaying of the train, the cafe looked very much like someone had scooped up a concession stand from a small hospital and dropped it into one of the train cars. I walked up to the grey counter where a woman stood, staring into the distance as if she was trying to put herself anywhere else. When she noticed I was there, she looked at me, her eyes getting a distinct look of relief like I was probably one of the very few, if any, people who came into this car so late at night.
"Bagel and cream cheese, please," I said.
"That's it? I can't get you an eggnog or a candy cane cheese danish?"
I grimaced.
"What is a candy cane cheese danish?"
"It's just a cheese danish with some crushed up candy canes on it. It's supposed to be festive."
"No, thank you. Just the regular bagel and cream cheese. And a cup of coffee."
"It's pretty late to be drinking coffee. Can I get you a decaf?"
I glared at her, not wanting to destroy the respite from her loneliness that I was apparently giving her, but also not wanting to have to strangle her and ruin the trip for everyone.
"No. Caf. Extra caf if you have it."
"You're never going to get any rest."
"You'd be surprised."
The truth was I was such a heavy sleeper that even pumping myself full of caffeine right before bedtime couldn't stop me from being totally dead to the world within minutes of resting my head. Which is how I ended up getting tossed to the floor of the cafe car some time later as the train came to a rough stop. The impact on the floor woke me up, but not enough that I was totally aware of what was going on. I mumbled and crawled around for a few seconds, trying to get my bearings and figure out how I had fallen out of bed and why I could hear people shouting in my bedroom. It took a few moments before it clarified in my mind that I wasn't on the floor of my bedroom, but in the cafe car where I had curled up hobo-style on one of the long benches along one wall and fallen asleep to what had then been the gentle rocking of the train.
I scrambled to my feet and looked around. The woman who had served me my coffee and bagel earlier looked unfazed as she replaced bags of potato chips on a display that must have tipped when the train stopped.
"What's going on?" I asked.
She looked up at me and gave a small smile.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Right up until I fell off the bench. Why isn't the train moving? Are we already at the station?"
"No. Not yet. Looks like we have a little delay. Happens all the time."
"Why?"
"Could be
any number of things. Another train could be running late and be in our way. A car crash. The cold could have made the tracks unsafe ahead. Cows stopped on the tracks. We'll be up and moving in no time. Don't you worry."
Just as soon as those words were out of her mouth, all the lights in the train went off. There was a split second of absolute blackness before the tiny emergency lights started to glow along the top of the walls.
"Oh," the woman said.
"Oh?" I asked. "Oh? That's it?"
"Well, now it's looking like the train might have lost power. But, again, that happens. It's entirely possible that the engineer chose to turn off the power because he knows that the delay is going to be a bit and he doesn't want to waste the energy."
"That is very environmentally conscious of him."
I followed the faint glow of the lights to find my tablet and bag that had tumbled to the floor with me and sat back on the bench to wait out the power outage. The voices outside of the cafe car were getting louder and more desperate, and for a moment I worried that there was some kind of emergency happening that I wasn't aware of. The minutes ticked by and my nerves gradually amped up, making me feel sick to my stomach. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.
"Hello?"
Vera's voice on the other end was a relief.
"Hey," I said.
"Holly? Are you OK? Is there something wrong?"
"No, no," I said, feeling guilty that I had worried her. "I'm fine. Everything's fine. I'm on the train. It's just delayed a little, so I thought that I would call and see how you're doing."
"Oh, good." She made a sound like she was thinking. "Nothing much is going on around here. I just finished packing and I'll be leaving in the morning. Since I don't have you here I'm going to have to take a scary taxi to the airport, thank you very much for that."
"Hey, don't give me that. I'm having to go off by myself because you have the gall and nerve to go spend the holidays with your family rather than staying with me and helping me nurse my broken heart."
Vera laughed.
"Alright, then we're even. But if I end up getting abducted by the driver, I expect you to fulfill all of their demands to get me back."
"I will," I promised.
"Good. Well, you just sit tight. I'm sure that the train will get started again soon and in a couple of days you will be embarking on your cruise and sailing off into a week of fun in the sun."
"I can't wait."
What I could wait for was having to deal with the half-day long layover and then switching trains for another long stretch before arriving in the port city only to sit in a hotel for a day before embarkation. It was the only itinerary that worked out and just the thought of it had been enough to make me even less thrilled with the thought of the trip. But it would all be worth it once I was finally on the ship and the land, and everyone on it, was far behind me.
"If you get a chance to lift your head up out of your tropical drinks, give me a call to check in. If not, I'll see you when we both get home."
"Have fun with your family."
"Merry Un-Christmas."
"You, too."
I hung up, feeling slightly better, but the minutes continuing to tick by with the lights still off and the train still not moving quickly brought back the nerves. Soon I was up pacing around the car, using the meager illumination to stop me from running into the tables. The woman behind the counter still didn't seem bothered by the situation, but I was well past using her as any type of barometer. Suddenly the door to the car flew open and I saw a frazzled-looking conductor standing in the doorway holding a battery-operated lantern high enough that I could see his face clearly. It was the same one who had tried to defuse my feud with the seat-stealer at the beginning of the trip. He glared directly at me.
"You need to get out."
My mouth dropped open.
"Look, I know that I overreacted some to the seat thing, but that was over hours ago. I really don't think that it's necessary to…"
"I mean you need to get out of the cafe car. You shouldn't be in here when the power is out. Haven't you heard any of the announcements?"
"What announcements?"
"The train has lost all power and it will not be able to be restored tonight. Everyone must disembark. The engineers hope that the issues will be resolved by tomorrow and that we will be able to continue on tomorrow night or the next morning, but there is no guarantee. For now, all passengers must get off the train and find alternative accommodations for the night."
I stared at him in stunned silence, sure that he was going to tell me that it was a joke and that the train would be starting any second. Instead, he gestured toward the door.
"What are we supposed to do?"
"Several cab companies have been dispatched and cars are waiting to bring passengers into the nearby towns to find hotels or alternative transportation."
"That's it? There's nothing else that can be done?"
"Not at this time, ma'am. Those are the rules."
He said it with a hint of a sneer in his voice and I shot him an angry glare before walking out of the cafe car and starting toward my seat, so I could get my other bag. The loss of power to the train seemed to have extended to the brains of the passengers and they all seemed to no longer be able to function properly. People were shouting and pushing, trying to force themselves both directions down the aisle toward the exits. The way that they were behaving I would have expected there to be a fire or some other disaster rather than just a dead train, but as I felt myself being pushed against the wall and people stepping on my feet, some of the chaos started to seep into me and I felt suddenly frantic to get out of the train. I used my height to my advantage and started pushing my way through the crowd in the somewhat disorienting near-darkness, eventually resorting to climbing up on the vacated seats and squeezing myself through the gap at the top of the seats so that I could get to where I had been sitting before moving to the cafe. It was empty now and I took a moment to ruminate on the irony of the situation. I finally had my seat to myself and no passed out man encroaching on my space, and now I had to leave it.
The train was emptying out and I stepped into the aisle to reach into the overhead compartment and get my bag. It swung down and hit me in the back of the head, causing spots to dance in front of my eyes. This trip was just getting more disastrous with every turn. By the time that I stumbled out of the train and onto the ground, I realized that the train had nearly made it to a tiny loading platform nestled beside a station that appeared to be sleeping. I felt like if all of the passengers had worked together and shifted our weight inside the train we might have been able to scoot it all the way to the platform. As of now, though, passengers were making the somewhat precarious descent from the train to the ground and scurrying toward the station. I didn't see any of the cars that had supposedly been dispatched, but over the din of the voices I could hear engines, which told me that the fleet was out front of the station. I scooped up my bags and started toward the station, then had the sinking thought that I had left my phone sitting on the table in the cafe. I eyed the station, noting that there were still plenty of people streaming toward it, and turned to hop back on the train. The cars were eerily quiet as I made my way back to the cafe, and I felt my stomach sink when I saw that the door to the cafe was closed.
A thought occurred to me and I walked up to the door. The emergency procedures were posted on the door, confirming my hunch. Without the electricity, the doors would not lock. I tucked my fingers in between the doors as the instructions showed me and pried them open. A felt a sense of relief when I saw my phone sitting there on the table where I had left it and had a sudden compulsion to apologize to it. I tucked the phone in my pocket and started back through the train, immediately noticing that the doors that I had come in through were closed. I continued on, finding more and more closed exit doors, and realized that I was the only one left on the train. Panic shot through me.
Was I trapped?
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Was there any way to get out of here?
How much air did a closed passenger train have in it?
I was on the brink of absolutely losing all control when I heard voices ahead of me in the train. I started toward them, creeping down the aisle as quietly as I could, assuming that sneaking back onto an evacuated train and getting locked into it wasn't going to earn me any points with the staff.
"Thanks again for letting me back on. I can't believe I forgot this."
"It's alright. We apologize for the inconvenience and hope that you find acceptable accommodations for the night. The railway appreciates your business and I assure you that we will make our best effort to compensate you appropriately."
Hey. Why didn't I get an apology and a promise of compensation?
I got to the middle of a car and saw the people ahead of me. The door to the train was open and someone was stepping out of it. I couldn't figure out a way to slip out and I watched as the conductor shut the door again. Muttering profanities to myself under my breath, I rushed up to the door and tried to pry it open the way I had with the cafe door. It wouldn't budge. I looked through the window and saw the shadowy figure of the person who had just climbed off stepping away from the train. I pounded with a flattened palm on the window and gestured wildly, hoping the person saw me. When I heard the conductor's footsteps coming back toward me, I ducked out of sight.
The conductor walked up to the door and opened it.
"Is everything alright? Did you forget something else?"
"Um," a familiar voice said. "Yes. I can't seem to find my tablet. I just need to check my room one more time."
His voice was firm and unyielding, not asking permission but informing the conductor of his intentions and expressing his expectation that the man would give him his way because there wasn't any other option. Yet there wasn't anything demanding about the words, creating a powerful balance that instantly put the conductor under his control. I watched from my hiding place as the conductor stepped out of the way and allowed the figure to step up into the car. I gritted my teeth when I saw that it was Graham. They started down the aisle and I rushed out of the door, jumping down from the train and scurrying into the shadows again. I suddenly felt like I had a new appreciation for city rats.
