by Banks, R. R.
This wasn’t a good idea. This wasn’t something that I should be doing. The voice in the back of my mind told me that. It told me that the last thing that I should be doing was telling Richard how much I wanted him, that just the thought of him made me wet and my body ache for him to touch me. I hadn’t been able to get him out of my mind since the very first moment that I saw him on my computer screen and my desire for him had only gotten more intense when I walked into the office and actually got to see him. Thoughts of him, his body, his mouth, his hands on me, had taken over every moment of my day. I hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but my fantasies and the powerful pull from within me that seemed to take over my mind, my heart, and my body. I didn’t care who he was or how we had met. I didn’t care what was expected of our relationship or that he technically had another woman in his life. I had seen the way that they looked at each other. I had tried to tell myself that he loved her and that she loved him, but the way that they looked at each other told me that that wasn’t the case. There was no warmth between them. No matter what they said to each other or the way that he tried to show affection to her. It was obvious to me that there wasn’t any of the intense love or lasting bond that there should be between them.
Beyond that, I had seen the way that he looked at me. From the first time that our eyes met and I sat down across the desk from him, I knew that he felt the same thing that I did. I saw the heat there, the attraction, the curiosity. He had done everything he could not to show me what he was feeling and to deny it to himself as much as to me. I wasn’t going to let that happen anymore.
His words were few when he called me, but that didn’t change the tension that I heard in his voice. It was there, strong and burning, simmering beneath the words. When he told me that he needed me to come to the office, he was telling me that he needed me. He wanted me. Even if he didn’t want to admit it. Even if he wasn’t calling me to him to act on it, I was going to make sure that he was left with no questions in his mind or his heart.
I crossed through the first set of glass doors and then the next. The lights were dim in this portion of the building, and I felt like I was moving deeper into a forbidden world, something that was going to exist only for us and that could never see the light of day.
The waiting room was quiet and empty, almost as though it were slumbering. I passed through it, my eyes flickering for an instant to the empty chair that I had inhabited several times before. I didn’t need to wait to have my name called this time. I passed through the door and down the hallway toward Richard’s office. The door was standing partially open and I could see a slice of light spilling out into the hallway. I paused outside and drew in a breath before reaching up and gently rapping on the door.
“Come in,” Richard’s husky voice said immediately.
I pressed the door open and stepped inside. Richard was sitting in his massive chair behind the desk, his eyes burning into me the moment that I came into view. He said nothing as I stepped in and closed the door behind me. I kept my eyes locked on him as I walked into the center of the room and released the knot of the belt at my waist. Richard’s gaze followed my fingers as the knot opened and I pushed the belt away before bringing my hands to the buttons of the coat. I moved slowly, letting my fingers gradually open each button to gradually reveal my body beneath.
Richard’s eyes found my skin and I could see the hunger grow within them. When I reached the final button, I opened the coat and pushed it back over my shoulders, letting it slip down my arms and pool on the floor at my feet. Richard pressed his hands to the surface of the desk in front of him and stood from his chair. He paused only for a second to look at me and then rushed around the side of the desk and to me. In an instant, I was in his arms and his mouth was on mine. It was a crushing, breathless kiss, our mouths hungrily seeking as much of one another as we could possibly find. Our tongues tangled, and my hands tore at his clothes, trying to find the warmth of his bare skin.
Richard took his hands from my body to release his belt and tear at his button and zipper. I felt his deliciously hard cock spring out and brush against my belly. My body responded with a rush of hot fluid, readying me for him. My belly twitched, and I could feel my walls opening, seeking him. I couldn’t wait to feel him inside me. Richard wrapped his arm tightly around my waist and swept me up off of my feet and spun us around, so he could carry me to the desk. Setting me on the edge, he pushed me onto my back and grabbed the tops of my thighs, yanking me forward so that my legs lifted up and he pushed them apart. The movement opened me to him, making me feel both vulnerable and intensely aroused.
The feeling of Richard’s breath on my hot, wet core sent a thrill through me and I arched up toward him. His tongue dragged through my folds and I cried out at the sensation that rocked through me. He focused the tip on my clit for a few overwhelming seconds and then plunged his tongue inside me, bringing his thumb up to massage me in tight circles. My body shook, and I clawed at the desk beside me, looking for something to hold onto to try to find some control. The pressure building throughout my hips and stomach was almost painful in its strength and I couldn’t hold myself back. As he shoved his tongue so far within me that his mouth closed down over my center, I felt the rush of an intense orgasm wash over me and I screamed out, reaching up to dig my fingers through his hair to at once grip him closer to me and pull him away to ease the shuddering power of the feeling.
I was still gasping through the waves of sensation when I felt Richard stand up, heard the sound of a condom package ripping, and then felt him push inside of me. The sensation of his hard, thick cock filling me so much was almost painful and sent me into a new crashing cascade of tremors. I opened my eyes to look at Richard. His open shirt pressed back over his shoulders seemed to accentuate the rippling of his muscles, making him look unchained and even sexier. There was no hesitation in his movements. His fingertips dug into my hips as he pounded into me hard and fast.
Richard’s eyes were fiery as they stared down at me. His jaw was clenched tightly, and I saw sweat beading on his forehead, gliding down his cheeks. He grunted from deep within his chest with each thrust and I cried out at the slam of his hips against mine. I was still wearing my shoes and he straightened, grasping the high, sharp heels so he could press my legs back further and open even more. I reached over my head to grip the edge of the desk and hold myself in place so that the power of his strokes didn’t push me off.
This position drove him even deeper and I let out an unbridled moan as his masterful cock reached a place inside of me that had never been touched. Richard’s thrusts grew harder and faster, his pace becoming feverish as the sounds coming through his gritted teeth grew louder and more forceful. My head arched back but I felt him take one hand away from my shoe and grasp my face, guiding it back into place so that he could stare down at me. He held my cheek, his thumb stroking across my cheekbone tenderly in a stark contrast to the thrust of his hips.
Suddenly he shoved into me with a final thrust that put him as far within me as he could be and he let out a roar as I felt his cock throb. The sensation pushed me over the edge and my body clenched around his, collapsing again into another blinding orgasm that squeezed down on him and made my fingernails claw into the muscles of his upper arms. We paused in breathless, shaking ecstasy until our bodies cooled and relaxed, easing down from the blistering peaks that we had achieved.
Richard lowered my legs down onto either side of him and wrapped his arm around my waist to pull me up to sitting so that he could kiss me. I melted into the kiss, letting my arms fall around his neck to hold him close, and pressing my body nearer to his to remain connected for as long as I could. I was running my fingers down his back, feeling the muscles through the sweat-damp fabric of his shirt, when I felt the muscles disappear, replaced by something soft. I opened my eyes and instead of seeing Richard’s chiseled, sexy face staring back at me, I saw darkness.
I blinked, trying to make my eyes focus, and gradually s
hadows and shimmers of light appeared above me. I realized that I was no longer sitting on the desk but laying in my bed, stroking the pillow beside me. The sheets around me were damp and the air felt thick and warm, but the more I felt myself pulling up out of the deep sleep that had crafted the intense dream, the cooler the air felt. I sat up and reached down to the end of the bed, grabbed the blanket that was folded at the foot, and pulled it up over me as I lay back down, curling it up around myself.
What the hell was that all about?
Chapter Eight
Rue
Dear Baby,
You are going to be so beautiful. I met your parents yesterday and I can imagine their features coming together to make you and it’s amazing. Your eyes will be so blue, and you will have thick, perfect hair. You’ll be tall, which I can tell you as someone who has difficulty seeing the signs in a grocery store when I’m walking down the aisles, will be a blessing. It’s strange to be thinking about what you are going to look like now, still before you even exist. One day you will. One day you will be ready to face the world and you will come into it and everyone will get to look at you and see just how wonderful you really are. I am trying not to create an image of you in my mind because I know that there’s no real way that I could come up with what you are actually going to look like and then it will seem like you are a stranger when you’re born.
It won’t be long now. Today your parents, Richard and Flora, officially chose me to be their surrogate. I feel so lucky. This is going to help me in so many ways and I’m glad that I can do it in a way that helps them, too. Your daddy is somebody really special. I hope you know that. He’s kind and reassuring, and even though he seems a little bit stuffy, there’s a sense of humor there that’s a lot of fun. I hope that you see that sense of humor and that maybe you get some of it. It’s always better to see the world with a bit of laughter and light in it, no matter what’s happening. Your daddy has obviously lived a pretty sheltered life and probably hasn’t had much experience outside of his little bubble, but I can see something in him. There’s a little bit of sparkle in there and I see it whenever he talks about you.
Your mother is a surprise to me. She wasn’t there when I first met your father and when she did come in, she didn’t seem too pleased to be seeing me. Not that she wasn’t pleased that there was an interview going on, because obviously she knew about that, but not pleased that it was me sitting there. I don’t know why that would be the case since we’ve never met before, but that was the immediate impression that I got. As soon as your father told her that I was the one that he had chosen, though, it was like she turned a switch. Suddenly she was gushing and emotional, and actually came up and hugged me. Now, I can tell you that that hug felt like it was coming from someone who doesn’t do the hugging thing very often. But it was a hug nonetheless and while it seemed to take your daddy aback a bit, too, he was happy as a frog in the rain. It was like everything was falling into place in his mind and he was finally able to actually see how this was all going to work out.
I have all kinds of doctor’s appointments set up for the next couple of weeks. The first one is tomorrow afternoon. I’m supposed to discuss my reproductive potential. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but it sounds awkward. I’m sure it’s only the very beginning of a whole stream of awkward, though, so I’m just bracing myself. With any luck, we can schedule the implantation within the next month and we’ll be on our way.
I just realized that if the first implantation takes, I’ll be pregnant over the holidays. No egg nog for me. Well, I can have egg nog, I just can’t let Christopher anywhere near it. Is it ridiculous that I feel a little guilty that you’ll be with me over Christmas and not with your parents? You won’t even be the size of a holly berry, yet I feel like I should go sit on their couch with my belly pointed toward their Christmas tree or something.
Menorah? Is that possible? Not that it matters, of course, it’s just that I’m realizing more and more as this becomes more real to me that I don’t know these people. I’m sure I’ll get to know them better as the weeks go by. I don’t honestly know how well I want to get to know them, though. I know that sounds terrible and I don’t mean it to. It’s just that…what if I really like them? What if I form a friendship with them? When all of this is over and you are born, that friendship would be over too. I can’t imagine that your mother would want to keep me around as Auntie Rue or anything. It’s not that I think she’s a terrible person. That’s not it. Like I said, I just feel like there’s something a little bit off about her. It’s probably not her usual personality or what is actually the way that she is when she’s not in this type of situation. If she was, your father wouldn’t be with her and wouldn’t be going through something like this with her.
Of course, at the same time I don’t want to have no relationship with them. This is something that they should have the opportunity to experience, even if it is just watching my belly grow, being there for ultrasounds, and feeling kicks. I wouldn’t want to think that they would go for the fast food version, being there for the implantation and then just checking back in with me when I was ready to pop and they had spent the last nine months going about their lives. Maybe that’s not the fast food version. The bread maker version? Slow cooker? Definitely not the pressure cooker.
I hope that I will make a good home for you. I’ve been trying to eat better the last few days. I don’t know how much of a difference it will make, but I’d like to think I’m doing a little bit of freshening up before you move in. When you get there, I promise I will do everything that I can to make it comfortable for you and to help you stay healthy and safe until the day comes for you to be born. Wow. Your birthday. That will be your actual, real birthday. I’d like to think that that day has already been chosen. Somewhere out there it has already been decided what zodiac sign you’re going to be and whether you are going to be a summer baby or a fall baby. Somehow, that thought is comforting to me. The responsibility of all of this is already starting to sink in and it makes me feel better to think that I’m not the only one who’s controlling this and that somewhere along the line it will just be about me going along for the ride. All I can promise you is that I will do everything I can to make sure that you get through the months that you’ll spend with me in the best way possible so that I can hand you healthy and safe to your parents and you can go on to live the incredible life they have planned for you.
I know that I’ve spent most of the time since you became even a concept in my life thinking about what I am going to be doing for you and for your parents, but I want you to know that I will never forget what you are doing for me, either. Thank you in advance for letting me be the one who carries you. Thank you for giving me the chance to actually do something good in the world and to help people in a way that even just a few months ago I never would have even begun to imagine I would do. And thank you for helping me to save the home that is so precious to me. You’ll never know how much it means to me that I won’t lose that house. I am glad to know that you won’t know what it is to struggle or to feel that you’re missing out on anything. You won’t ever know what it is to worry that you’ll lose everything that means something to you. That’s a gift and I hope that you will appreciate it. I know those things all too well, but because of you I won’t have to be as afraid. The money that your parents will pay me for carrying you will be enough to secure my grandmother’s home and to get me through for a while. After that, I’ll figure it out, but at least I’ll know that my home is safe. One day when I have children of my own, if I’m ever lucky enough to do that, I’ll be able to raise them there and I will never forget that it is because of you that I’ll be able to do that.
I’ll be going home to Whiskey Hollow soon. I don’t know what the doctor’s going to say about resting or anything after the procedure, but I feel like I should do something. I’ve already taken leave from my job, so I’ll just be packing up my apartment until the day of the procedure. Then I think I’ll
take the day or maybe even two to just lay around and hope for the best. Maybe I’ll put my legs up over my head. Do you think that I could count one of those inversion tables as a pregnancy expense and just dangle upside down for a while after? That might be going a bit too far.
Part of me is looking forward to going home and seeing the Hollow again. It has been so long and the last time I was there was so painful for me that going back feels like a way to make that go away and bring back all of the warmth and wonderful memories that I cherish so much and that make me want to make sure that it isn’t taken from me. There’s another part of me, though, that is almost dreading going back. I worked so hard to get out and to make my life what it has become, and going back, not just visiting but actually moving back, feels like I’m giving all of that up. I’m afraid that I’ll lose that part of me and forget what I’m really capable of accomplishing. We’ll just have to see.
Wish me luck for the doctor’s appointment.
Rue
End of Sample… Get BECOMING daddy HERE .
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As a man (Yes, I’m a MAN!) who is a hopeless romantic, your support is my inspiration. I'm excited to have you read my books so we can go on the hottest romance adventures together! ;)
