“Good question, Stephanie. I’m no mind reader, but if I had to take a guess, I would say Roman cares about this woman more than he does or did his ex-wife. How many times have we seen the man speak about his personal life? How many times has he gone ballistic when asked about Gwen’s whereabouts during the band’s last tour? That would be a big fat zero. Flip the coin and tell me how many times has Gwen spoken freely when asked? Too many times for any of us to count. This confession coming from Gwen about wanting to speak out now isn’t like her. I, for one, believe she would have blasted this earlier if any of these new reports coming in were true.” Damn right, she would have. The bitch has shit for brains, and her morals are shoved up her ass.
Gwen is on a rant about Joslyn and me having an affair behind her back. I wanted to laugh when I found that out. A part of me wanted to tweet back and call her out. I’ve just never been that kind of man. On top of the fact, I don’t want to draw any more attention to the situation or Joslyn. So after I showed her, we decided to ignore them all. Let them speak and fuck them all. Shit will only stir up more if we act now.
“Wow. Maybe we should take a selfie with your tongue shoved down my throat or one where your hand is groping my breasts and have your PR people tweet it. Can’t they edit it or something with a date from six months ago?”
“Fuck, yeah, we can. Come sit on my lap, and I’ll shove my tongue anywhere you want it. Wait. How the hell do you know I have a Twitter account?” I finally exhale the shaky breath I’ve been holding since I told her about the tweets. Here I thought this would be another downfall she’d have to endure. I’m done worrying about how she’s going to react over this when all I see in her eyes is calmness and strength. Christ, I need inside of her in a bad way.
“You don’t. The band does. You guys also have an official Facebook account, a fantastic website. Instagram. Newsletter. Shall I go on?” She's sarcastic. I’ve gone harder.
“It’s true, then. You’ve been following my career?” She raises a brow. I rise from my chair.
“What, you thought I wouldn’t? Of course I have, Roman. I’ll admit it was hard seeing you with your arm slung around other women. Walking out of award shows with someone else when that someone should have been me. It nearly killed me when you married Gwen. I broke down in tears, but I carried on because I knew you were doing something you loved. We may not have been together, but I’ve always been proud of you, always loved the flash of excitement in your eyes when I watched you sing.” I close my eyes. Hearing her say she followed me makes me a happy man. All the rest cuts deep.
“Might love my music more than a lot of things, but the one thing I need to be loving and doing is you.” She rolls her eyes. I roll my tongue across my lips. I need a taste of her. Don’t ever want to stop.
My hunger for this woman turns into starvation. Desperate. I swear to God I felt her all around me with every award I accepted. Wanting to thank her. Every damn time it sat on the edge of my tongue wanting to breathe out her name. I would look into the crowd, pretend she was there, tears of happiness in her eyes, overflowing with pride. And love gazing at me with those eyes I’ve dreamt about many times. She never was. It was always the face of a woman who didn’t know Joslyn existed but would give anything to be her if I allowed it. Face made up, wearing jewels they’d rented, dresses that cost thousands, and a wishful fake smile plastered across their botox face, brains working overtime, all the while pretending to be someone other than themselves.
My heart remembers a young woman, but my mind, my eyes, and every other part of me can’t help but notice how much she’s changed. She’s confident. Self-assured. And yet she holds a lot of pain from the past inside of her. Joslyn is a dangerous combination of lust that represents the kind of woman who oozes pure, shameless sex without all the made-up overboard shit of trying.
She’ll stand by your side through the bad times, let you take the spotlight without the recognition she deserves. She’s so damn perfect for me I can’t wait to show her off forever.
This woman touches me everywhere. Fucking hell. I can take on this situation any day as long as I have her with me at the end of it.
I suck in a breath, feel myself trembling as I come to a stop in front of her, grab her by the waist, sit her on the counter, and settle in between her legs.
“Wanted you there. Every fucking time. I have to ask something without you going off the rails on me. We know someone leaked your name. Pretty sure it was my ex. My team needs to be sure it was her.” Fuck, this is harder than I thought. I should have waited for a better time. The thing is, we need to know in order to figure this shit out.
She sighs, grazes my jaw, a slight smirk crossing over her mouth before it settles on a frown. “I know what you're trying to ask me. I’ve dated. The longest relationship I had was three months. It ended amicably last year. His name is Logan Nichols. He moved to Montana last I heard. He’s an attorney.” Possessiveness suddenly hits my chest. Good riddance, asshole.
I nod my head, tuck his name away for later. I’ll be sure to give it to my team so they can keep an eye on the dude. I won’t leave a stone unturned until I find out who Gwen is or was working with.
Done talking about this. She needs to know I’m not going anywhere and neither is she. Another man is never going to touch her again. “Those days of having other relationships are over for both of us. There’s going to come a day when I’ll be showing you off, telling the whole world you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. Won’t be saying it with my arm slung over your shoulder. Damn sure won’t be telling them with words. I’ll be saying it like this.”
Leaning in, I brush back the hair from her neck, exposing it for me to get my taste. “I’m not waiting much longer to fuck you. Especially if the clothes Leila bought you all look like these.” She sucks in air. I bite into her shoulder. Trail my lips right up her neck and sink into the warmth of her mouth. Savor. Devour.
I kiss her until we both melt into each other, and when her hands touch the back of my neck, tugging the short strands, I lose control. Fuck Hollywood and all the idiotic tabloid-seeking people in it.
I sweep my heavy-lidded eyes down her sinful little body. Fingers are itching with longing to delve inside her heat. “You are exquisite.” My voice is thick with undeniable need. Her nipples are erect under my fire-filled stare.
She whimpers when I bring both hands up her sides. Her head falls back to rest on the cupboard as I tweak and tug those hard nubs enough to make her squirm.
“Roman,” she pants out hot and heavy, eyes wide open, pupils dilated. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly with every not so gentle pull and touch I take. I can’t wait to have them in my mouth.
“My name never sounded better than when you say it.” I take her mouth again, tongue and hands coercing her into sweet, heavenly submission.
She grumbles when I let go of her mouth, moans when I run my hands over her ribs, skin trembling as I glide them down the inside of her smooth naked thighs. Spreading her until I can’t take the vision lodged in my head of her pussy underneath those shorts. Fuck, she is every damn thing to me.
“You are unforgettable, Joslyn. Every fucking time I sang that song, I was singing to you.”
“You’re unforgettable, too, fucker. Hauntingly so. Morning, Joslyn. Sorry to interrupt. I thought I’d check in to see how you two were doing before I went home to sleep. Been up all damn night trying to make some reason of this shit. It’s a damn good thing you got rid of Gwen, ‘cause that woman is a fucking bitch.”
The Marcus we all love is back and starts grumbling as he saunters through the back door into the kitchen. I close my eyes, mentally kicking my own ass for locking the front and forgetting to do the same thing to the back.
I’m about ready to remind him to knock next time when I see how red Joslyn’s face is from embarrassment. The words are ready to roll off my tongue when a deep, aggravating voice rumbles from behind him, spitting out more swear words than I’ve ever heard him s
ay. I turn around to see Dean strolling in. Looking worse than Marcus does. His disheveled long hair is tucked behind his ears, an unlit Marlboro Red dangling from his mouth. Wrinkled T-shirt and bloodshot eyes. Man must have taken the red-eye to fly across the country. I ought to kick his ass for leaving the place he needed to be. Won’t deny it’s good to see him, though.
“I’m good, Marcus. Thank you. Let her talk. Let all of them. I don’t care. They will never get the information of out me or Roman they want. Most everything they print and say will be a lie, anyway. As long as we know the truth, who cares what others think?” I groan as my name escapes her mouth. There may never come a day when she cares what they say, which is a damn good thing for her and me. This new attitude of hers is exactly what she needs to have. The thing is, a person can only take so much hurt and pain before they crack, and she’s there. None of it has a thing to do with the rumors flying around. It’s her family. Her own personal struggles she’s keeping bottled up inside.
“You coming in, gorgeous, or are you going to stand outside all day? Be a shame to have to look at you through the window.” I crane my head to the door to see who Dean’s talking to at the same time Joslyn jumps down. Darts past as if she’s winning a race and walks right into the woman’s arms.
“Caroline. What are you doing here?” I cross my arms over my chest. Eyeball my friend while he oogles the hell out of Caroline’s ass. My ears perking up when Caroline speaks.
“I’m fine. Thanks to these guys pulling up a few minutes after me to where the crowd didn’t care about getting a closer look at the best friend and some old man strolling through the gates with a shotgun. Those people are scavengers. One idiot put a dent in the hood of my car when he jumped on top of it to get my picture. You have no idea how badly I wanted to get out and shoot him. I didn’t think it would look all that great for a doctor to take out a life when she saves them for a living. Assholes.” I like her already. All cute and shit in her scrubs. Hair on top of her head. Getting all up in Joslyn’s space, showing me, showing her she’s here to make sure her friend is alright. Still, a fist clenches around my stomach knowing those slimy idiots won't stop at anything to get what they want.
Joslyn doesn’t try holding back her smile or her laugh. She lets the sound float freely from her lips. God, she’s beautiful when she lets go. I hadn't heard a laugh out of her like that since before we both knew I was leaving home.
“Thought I told you to stick to home, asshole, and I thought you were going to quit smoking?” Somehow, Dean manages to yank his eyes away from Caroline, who isn’t paying him an ounce of attention, to drop his gaze on me.
“Right on both accounts. Seem to recall I was off visiting my son when you decided to punch someone. Which no one cares about anymore. Think I told you those same words a few years ago, too, when I hit rock bottom. Didn’t stop you from showing up, stinking up my couch for two weeks.”
I run my hands down my face. He knows this is different, still has to be painful for him, and yet here he is. Always at the ready. Not too keen on him shorting his visit with his son for me. He needed that visit.
“Good thing you own the house next door, then. An even better thing I have company.” I run a hand over the back of my neck as silence falls around Dean and me. Memories slam into both our heads. Ones not as pleasant as today.
There are not too many people who can say they’ve watched their friends go through the motions. Sitting on the throne, letting the world think you're fine when your inside is dying a slow death and all you're doing is trying to move from one day to the next. Every day feeling longer than the one before.
The other guys and I did when Dean went through what he did. Marcus and the rest of our team as well. We’ve all been through hell and back. Some people don’t have the luxury of leaning on a friend or a family member who drops what he’s doing the way we do for each other. I know for certain the other two would be here if they could. They know I’d kick their ass if they showed up here before they need to. Brock’s younger sister just graduated from college. He and Miles go way back. They're celebrating with the family. That’s why we ended the tour when we did.
Everyone is a stranger to us outside of our circle. But in our hearts, all of us share the same serious heartache, just trying to move on from things in our past. Despite how different our pasts might be, we’ve all weathered the storms together in the privacy of our homes. The only sanctuary where we found peace from the outside world. Struggling to overcome the twists and turns in life that tried to break us.
“This is a walk in the park for the two of you. The bright side is it brought her back into your life. Whatever happens from here, as long as the two of you stick it out together, let them talk. All of them.” Damn fucking right. I’d love to be able to say the same thing to him.
“Wish she had been in my life this entire time. If I hadn't fucked up, she would have been. Joslyn has a good head on her shoulders. Seems to be taking this all a little too well for me. I’m waiting for her to snap.” That day when she does is coming sooner than we both think. I can feel it ripping away at me.
“You're the man who loves her, the one who wants to protect her from pain. She’s learning the hard way about the vicious people in this industry. In the end, it will make her stronger.” Right. Says the man who hides behind his pain better than the rest of us do. He isn’t fooling anyone but himself.
Appreciation for friends and family filters through my body after the introductions are done. Didn’t think I’d need Dean here. Couldn’t have been more wrong. It turns out there are times in our lives where we both need a bit of someone else to rely on. No shame or blame in that.
Just wish it were under different circumstances.
Chapter 9
Joslyn
I pause as I reach for the door handle of Roman’s SUV and pull out my sunglasses, bracing myself for the few people standing on the sidewalk outside of my office. One with a camera dangling around his neck, a microphone in his hand, while the other appears to be ready for action with his camcorder resting on his shoulder. The minute they notice us, they’ll be running over here like piranhas waiting to take a bite.
Placing my hand on my chest, I take in a long breath as if doing this will stop my heart from pounding the hell out of my chest. These people are going to annoy me to death.
“You might have convinced me to let you go to work. Not a chance in this lifetime I’m allowing you to walk past them alone. I guarantee there are more on the way. Wouldn’t be surprised if someone is hiding in the bushes. They will be in your face before you can blink. Remind me next time to bring my gun. Stupid fucks!” he yells, grabs hold of my arm, and hauls me across the console to where my legs sprawl out and dangle over the edge, my ass firmly planted over his groin I feel growing by the second.
The man has been on a rant all morning long. We’ve been arguing about this from the second we woke up. It’s carried on the entire drive here. I’ve been telling him I’d much rather save my arguments for court, and yet the obstinate man won’t listen to a word I have to say. I’ve tried to convince them they will be forgotten the minute I walk through the door. Which I shouldn’t have said because Roman reminded me how sneaky they are by bringing up the courthouse situation.
I’m not saying a word this time. He might know how these people function more than I do. Doesn’t mean I’ll sit around doing nothing while the world continues on around me. I refuse to do it, and his pushy ways are not going to convince me otherwise. My job and my sanity are more important than any of these wicked people.
His not-so-bright ex-wife, too. That woman and her tweets are ridiculous. Possibly the dumbest things I’ve read in my life. Accusing us of having an affair behind her back when she was the one cheating. Calling me names, telling people she wouldn’t trust me to be her lawyer if I were the only choice she was given. Little does she realize I would rather see her sit behind bars than to help her out of any mess she’s gotten herself into.
This idiotic Hollywood outrage has forced me to close all my social media accounts with the threats I started receiving. Some of them go as far as telling me I should be dead. It’s awfully depressing the way people act. Cruel, really.
Not that I used them for much anyway. I mostly created them to follow Roman’s career and to keep up with the lives of some of my friends from law school.
I stayed last night even though I wanted to go home, and it was only for the reason that I got a little drunk after Markus left to get some much-needed rest. Dean and Roman had some things to do regarding their studio, Access Records, leaving Caroline and me alone to drink and talk by ourselves. She didn’t drink much at all. Only listened to me spill my heart all over the wooden floor of the railcar.
I kept my concern about Logan or any other man I’ve dated to myself. It bothered me to the point I nearly became sick wondering if this was truly all my fault. Before I deleted my Facebook, I looked him up. Neither one of us unfriended the other, but we haven’t spoken since the night we ended it. His status says he’s in a relationship and still living in Montana. When I brought him up to Caroline, she assured me it wasn’t him by stating it would be highly doubtful it was anyone else with the angry tweets coming from Gwen. I decided to not worry about it unless Roman’s team gave me something to worry about.
As far as making someone angry in my profession, I’m sure I have, just as they’ve angered me, too. I can’t begin to think of anyone I’ve pissed off enough to do something like this. If they were caught, their career would be tumbling down the proverbial hole.
The Right Direction Page 8
