Emily swiped a few straggling tears away.
“When’s the last time you ate?”
She’d been expecting some demand for a confession. The mention of food caught her off guard. “Breakfast.”
“What time?”
“Five, I guess.” Emily wished she’d answered differently when Helen’s lips formed a grim line.
“It’s past three. Did you feed Stephie dinner?”
“I fed her.” For the first time Emily found a little spirit. “She had a good meal. I’m taking care of her.”
“Just not yourself,” Helen said.
Emily’s weak show of self-defense evaporated.
“Wash your hands, young lady. Then sit. You can talk while I fix you something, and then you can eat while I fix your problems.” Helen sounded stern but she had a generous smile.
Helen’s confidence made Emily wonder if maybe her problems could be fixed. So Emily talked while Helen cooked.
“He lived up there all that time and no one knew? That’s amazing.”
“He lived there two weeks before I discovered him. Pretty weird, huh?”
“If it makes you feel better, you can call him weird,” Helen said with mock seriousness.
“To be honest, it does a little.” Emily felt a trace of waspishness.
Helen laughed. “Are you sure he’s gone for good?”
“I don’t know.” Emily must have used up all of her tears, because the question broke her heart but her eyes remained dry. “I guess. Wouldn’t he have called if he was coming back?”
“You’ve had no calls, no letters?”
Emily shook her head.
“Have you tried to call him?”
“No! And I’m not going to!” Emily shouted. “What would I say? ‘Please come back anytime you’re bored’?” It felt good to shout.
Helen put an omelet in front of her.
The anger gave Emily an appetite and made her think of her stomach instead of her heart. And not thinking of her heart gave her spare brain space to think of her little sister. “Stephie’s been gone too long. I should go check on her.”
“Eat first. Stephie’s fine.”
Emily started on the omelet and it tasted like sawdust, like everything else she’d eaten for a month. Sawdust. She couldn’t think about sawdust without thinking about her first meeting with Jake. His chest had been sprinkled with. . .
“Stop daydreaming. Forget about him until you finish your food.”
Emily had heard that voice before. It was the one Helen used to get her children to eat. It worked; she took another bite.
“I think you should try to find him.” Helen gave her head a firm jerk and set her spare chins to wobbling.
Emily had just swallowed or she would have choked. She dropped her fork onto her plate with a clatter. “How could a phone call be anything but pathetic?”
“I’ll call him right now if you don’t finish your eggs.”
Helen was a master at getting kids to eat, but Emily had a feeling broken hearts were outside her experience. Emily picked up her fork and forced another bite. “I don’t have a phone number. I couldn’t call him anyway.”
“You just told me he works for Hanson and Coltrain in Chicago. You could find him with two phone calls. And you don’t have to be pathetic. In fact, I’ll stand beside you and thunk you on the head if you start sounding the least bit pitiful. What harm is there in an acquaintance calling to say hi? Or you could say you thought he’d like to know how his calf was doing. If you mean nothing to him, he won’t think that’s so strange. You know, he may have even tried to call. I’ve been phoning all month.”
“I can’t do it. He’ll know how much I miss him. It’s too humiliating.”
“Honestly, Emily, can you feel any worse?” Helen waited for an answer.
Emily silently took another bite of food under Helen’s watchful gaze. The thought of feeling even more miserable was unbearable.
“You know what I think? I think you’d feel better. If he is nasty to you, it will help you realize what a rat he is. Right now all you have are good memories and the big hero flying off into the sunset. You left too much unsettled. At least if he brushes you off, you’ll get mad. Doesn’t that make sense?”
Emily reached for more omelet and was surprised to find it gone. The food and Helen’s solid support gave her a little stiffness in her spaghetti spine. “Some sense, I guess.”
“So what do you say? Let’s get the big dumb creep on the phone and see what he has to say for himself. I’ve never seen a situation get worse by facing it and talking about it. I’ll call information and get his number.”
“No, wait.” Emily stood up from the table, desperate to stop Helen. “I’m not ready.”
“I’ll just get his number, not dial it.” She marched to the phone, called information, and came up with a number for Hanson and Coltrain, but nothing for Jake Hanson or, at Emily’s suggestion, J. Joe Hanson.
“His private phone is probably unlisted. I’ll call the company and see if they’ll give it to me.”
Emily sank back into her chair. She shouldn’t let Helen do this. But to hear Jake’s voice again would be so wonderful. She bit her lip and grabbed the edge of the table to keep from stopping her friend.
“Yes, Jake Hanson’s office please. Hmmmm, are you sure about that?” A long pause. “Do you have a number where I could reach him? He has? Thank you.” Helen hung up the phone and turned around, a thoughtful expression on her face.
Emily couldn’t imagine what Helen had heard. “C’mon, the suspense is killing me.”
“Jake Hanson is no longer with the company. It seems he sold his shares and retired.”
“Retired?” Emily echoed. “What does that mean?”
“It means I’m back, Emily.”
Twenty-five
The masculine voice dropped into the room like a bomb.
Emily rose and whirled around. Her knees buckled, and Jake caught her.
Jake took in her pallor and the weight she’d lost as he settled her back into her chair and knelt beside her.
Stephie came up beside him, her brow furrowed with worry as she looked at her big sister.
“Are you all right?” He cradled Emily’s face in his palms. “Emily, honey, Stephie told me you didn’t get any of my letters. I’m so sorry. Sid was supposed to be forwarding them.”
“Jake,” Emily whispered his name and shook her head as if she was trying to clear it.
“I spent the last month in the Philippines. They sent me to an island off the coast of Mindanao where the closest thing to a phone was a two-way radio. I could send a message, but I couldn’t talk to anyone except the home base in Zamboanga.”
Jake took one hand away from Emily to clench his fist. “Sid manufactured the whole thing.”
Emily looked dazed and so pale he was afraid she’d faint. Jake wanted to carry her off where they could be alone forever, except he wanted Stephie to come. . .and Lucky, and Cowlick.
“He. . .he manufactured a. . .a typhoon?” She wasn’t getting it, but he didn’t care. She was here. He could touch her.
“No, he just manufactured my isolation. He picked the most primitive, remote spot in the whole disastrous place. It was awful. The destruction, the death.” Jake let his fist rest on Emily’s knee and lowered his forehead to rest on his hand. He knew he had to take care of her, but the tragedy haunted him. He’d been desperate to get back here. Desperate to escape all that misery. Desperate to stop the hammering of his heart.
Emily—he had to think of her now, not himself. He had to find some remaining strength.
A hand rested on the top of his head and slid into his hair. A hand that could only be Emily’s. Another, smaller hand, Stephie’s, patted the corded knots on his shoulders.
He was home. They’d already begun taking care of him. He wanted to cry and he might have, except he was too happy. He raised his head with renewed strength. “You told me I had to learn to say no, but so
many lives were at stake I couldn’t. Sid had me convinced all the manpower possible was needed, but what he really wanted was me, back in harness and out of the loop.”
“And Tish? Could you say no to her? Are you still engaged?” The voice was so weak, so hurt, not like his Emily’s at all.
Jake hadn’t thought about Tish in all this mess. The trouble had always been between him and Sid, but Emily hadn’t known that.
“Engaged? I’ve never been engaged to her. I’ve only dated her when I’ve been in the country, and for the last few years that’s only been a few weeks total. There’s nothing between us. There never was. I—” Jake was suddenly aware that he had an audience. A strange woman.
He looked back into Emily’s exhausted, shining eyes. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”
“I’m glad to see you, Jake. Are you here for a visit?”
Jake wasn’t getting through to her. How could he say all he wanted with other people around? Emily had a hint of color in her face now. He let go of her and stood, wrapping an arm around Stephie.
“No, I’m not here for a visit.”
He saw Emily’s face fall and he wanted to hold her and comfort her and cry and laugh and maybe do a few dance steps, because he was so happy to be alive and in this place with the women he loved.
“I’m here to stay. I’m finished with Hanson and Coltrain.” He saw her eyes narrow with doubt. Well, time would fix that. But he didn’t have much time, since he was planning on marrying her this afternoon. He shouldn’t have stopped to pet Lucky.
Jake looked at the woman standing with her arm resting protectively on Emily’s shoulders. Not a stranger, for sure, so maybe she could babysit for a while. He extended his free hand, never letting go of Stephie. “I’m Jake. Jake Hanson. I live over the hill at the Barrett place.”
“You don’t say.” Helen’s hand came up but Jake didn’t miss the sarcasm. “I’m Helen Murray. I’m Emily’s nearest neighbor and best friend.”
Jake got the implied threat. He took a deep breath and pressed onward. “Glad to meet you, Helen. Emily has told me a lot of good things about you.”
“Emily has told me a lot about you, too.” Unlike Jake’s little greeting, Helen’s wasn’t a compliment.
Jake tried again. “I need to talk to Emily for a while. I don’t suppose Stephie could go to your house for a while?”
“Not on your life.” Helen crossed her arms.
Jake’s eyes really met Helen’s for the first time. He saw a formidable woman, one who wasn’t budging.
“I’d be glad to wait outside for a few minutes though.” Helen gave him a warmer smile than he deserved, considering Emily’s thin shoulders and pale cheeks.
Jake squared his shoulders. It didn’t matter. He’d been planning to be the perfect gentleman anyway.
“Helen, it’s all right. I’ll be fine with Jake.”
“We’ll see about that. So far things haven’t been all that fine.”
Jake saw humor alongside the wisdom in Helen.
Helen took Stephie’s hand and led her outside. Just before the door swung shut, she turned. “Ten minutes.”
The door clicked shut and Jake dragged Emily out of the chair and kissed her senseless. When he had to breathe, he said, “I love you, Emily. I’ve missed you every minute, every second. I thought I’d made arrangements for you to be contacted regularly.”
He kissed her again, drawing strength just from touching her. “Before I left for the Philippines, I told Sid I was selling out and staying here with you. He must have hoped he could keep me in line if he ruined things between us.”
Jake looked at Emily’s thin face. “He hasn’t, has he? Ruined things?”
Emily reached a trembling hand to Jake’s face, as if to convince herself he was real. “You love me? Do you mean it? Are you really back to stay?”
“I’m really back to stay.”
Emily shook her head.
Jake nodded. “You’ll start to believe me after we’ve been married about ten years.” He pulled her into his arms again and did his best to be entirely, thoroughly, exhaustively convincing. When he came up for air, they were sitting on her couch in the living room. She was on his lap and her long hair was loose from its braid and flowing around them like living water.
“Honey, this whole mess helped me to see that I’m not indispensable. I’ve wanted out of my old life, but for the first time I knew where else I wanted to be. Any competent engineer can do what I do. I’m not going to have any trouble saying no from now on. Listen, I’ve been practicing.”
Jake lowered his voice nearly an octave. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to get someone else.” He spoke normally. “How’s that? Or this one.” The tone deepened again. “I can’t leave my wife. She’s eight months pregnant with our tenth child.” Jake pulled back so he could see her eyes. “Or is that ten months pregnant with our eighth child?”
Emily laughed, and Jake knew they were going to get through this. He’d known anyway because he planned to marry Emily if it took twenty years to convince her to say yes. But he desperately did not want it to take twenty years. He pulled her close.
She pushed him away. Her blue eyes met the dark brown of his. “Was that a proposal? Because if it was, it was the worst one I’ve ever heard.”
“Oh, how many have you heard?” His mock jealousy took the last of the misery out of her eyes.
She leaned until her forehead pressed against his, closed her eyes, and whispered, “Just one.”
“You will marry me, won’t you?” He rested both hands on her face and lifted her chin until he could see her eyes. “You deserve so much better than me. It took me so long to realize how wonderful you are. I was so awful at first. Remember the time I—”
Emily pressed two fingers softly against his lips and silenced him. “I remember every word you’ve ever spoken to me, Jake. I’ve been thinking of nothing else for a month.”
He lifted her hand from his mouth and kissed each fingertip. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry, so terribly sorry you’ve been so unhappy.”
“Now that you’re back”—her neat little speech faltered—“there’s nothing left to be sorry for.”
“You’ve never said you’ll marry me, but you don’t have to. We’re already married in our hearts. I know that because I was only half alive without you, and I only have to look at you to see you feel the same. We share one heart, one soul. We’re already married in the best sense of the word.”
Emily blinked. “I’ve thought the same thing. But I thought I was feeling it alone.”
“It took some doing for me to get past my job, my mother’s desertion, and my father’s neglect. But I was in love and committed to you for life from the moment”—he smiled—“I fell on top of you. You can say anything you want, it’s only words. We are married. When do you want to do the paperwork?”
Emily laughed again.
“So, do you want a big ceremony, the white dress and the flowers? We can do anything you want.”
“No big ceremony. I just want you. I love you, Jake.”
Jake raised his eyes to hers as she spoke the words he longed to hear. “How could I have been such a fool to leave before we’d said all the important things to each other?”
“When you left, you weren’t sure you cared about me.”
“I loved you,” Jake said sternly.
“You had doubts. So did I. We needed this time. Now we’re both ready, we’re both sure. That’s so easy to say now that you’re here.” She added, “I want to do the paperwork just as soon as possible.”
He chuckled. “Good. I know a few people and I pulled a few strings and managed to get this marriage license.” Jake pulled it out of his pocket.
Her eyes widened. “Don’t I need to be there to get this?”
“Sign it. I’m a notary public. I brought my stamp.” He produced a stamp from the same pocket.
Emily laughed. “So, you’re saying if I sign this we’re married? I’ve never hear
d of this before. It sounds like a great system.”
“Well, someone should speak some vows, I suppose. But the paperwork is what makes it legal. We’re married enough for me.”
Jake kissed her.
“Well, you’re not married enough for me. So knock it off.”
Emily jumped out of Jake’s lap and Jake sagged back against the couch. He looked at the neighborhood guard dog. “The fair Helen has returned.”
“I gave you twenty minutes instead of ten. So you should be thanking me.”
“Yeah, thanks a lot.” There wasn’t a single teeny-tiny iota of thankfulness in him.
Helen took the paper out of Emily’s hand. “This isn’t legal.”
Emily had the grace to blush. Jake had the grace not to kill Helen. “Yes, Helen, it is.”
Helen fastened such a stern look on him it was all he could do to not sit up straight and revert to a schoolboy. “You can’t get a marriage license without both of you going to the courthouse.”
“I’ve been on the phone since I got back into a place my cell would work.” He glared at Emily. “Including I tried to call you a thousand times from airports on my way back from the Philippines. You’re getting an answering machine and cell phone that you will keep turned on at all times.”
“B–But those are modern conveniences.”
“So?”
“Pioneers didn’t have them.”
Jake narrowed his eyes.
“And besides, cell phones don’t work out here.”
“I found that out. But they worked fine in Tokyo and LA and Chicago and Rapid City.”
“Is that how you get home from the Philippines?”
“Yes. Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
“I was busy.”
Jake sighed and turned back to Helen. “I had the marriage license faxed to me in my Chicago office.”
“Emily has to be there.”
“Not if the county judge comes to the wedding and verifies everything.”
“You know the county judge?” Helen arched one brow doubtfully.
“No, but I know a guy who knows a guy who does.” Jake glanced at his watch. “But he’s just a backup. I want a pastor to bless our marriage. If not now, then soon. But we’re getting married today and that’s that.”
Clueless Cowboy Page 15
