by Beth Orsoff
Rick left us for another conference call, so Lindsay filled me in on the rest of the story. At least her version of it, which was that Blake told Sheena about the documentary and asked her to star in it too. When Rick found out, he was only too happy to arrange things to get Sheena to sign with BB&L. Every P.R. firm in town was wooing her once she landed the Bond girl role. That part I believed. Those films generated massive amounts of publicity, and massive amounts of publicists’ fees. It was the rest of the story I questioned.
"Blake would never have asked Sheena to participate without discussing it with me first. I’m the producer."
Lindsay nodded toward the lone figure hiking up the trail. "Don’t believe me, go ask him yourself."
Then she grabbed the sat phone from my hand and headed inside the cabin, while I ran down the trail to meet Blake.
"I’ve been looking all over for you," he said before I could. "Don’t we need to start shooting? You know I’m only here for three days."
Amazing, this ability he had to act as if nothing had changed. "Did you ask Sheena to be in the documentary?"
"Of course not," he said. "Why would you think that?"
Truly, the man had a gift. "Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because she just happened to show up on the same remote island where you and I just happen to be shooting a documentary. Then there’s that little matter of her telling my boss that you did!" I wasn’t taking Lindsay’s word for it. If Rick was shelling out $12,000 a week for a charter, there had to be a reason.
"Syd, it wasn’t like that."
He might as well have dealt me a body blow, since I felt like I’d been sucker punched. "Jesus Christ, Blake, what were you thinking? Did you think I wasn’t going to notice? That she was just going to show up here unannounced and I was going to say ‘Sure, join us, the more the merrier?’"
"Actually—"
"And what was that fucking kiss all about? Are you sleeping with her too?"
"Hey," he said, pointing his finger in my face. "I kissed her on the cheek."
"Yeah, and she looked like she was expecting a lot more."
"That’s her problem, not mine."
"Well, it’s yours now, genius, because you’re the one who invited her."
"I didn’t invite her," he said through clenched teeth. "I just told her I’d like to work with her again and she took it the wrong way. What’s the big deal anyway? If she wants to be in it, just let her."
"For starters, the foundation only approved you."
"Why would they say no to Sheena?" he asked, honestly bewildered, or at least convincingly pretending to be. "Did you know she’s going to be the next Bond girl?"
"Yeah, I heard." Only the third time in the last ten minutes.
"Then you know how much publicity she’ll get. They should be grateful. So should you."
Grateful? He expected me to be grateful that he asked another woman, one he might be cheating on me with, to participate in a film I was jeopardizing my job to produce all because he woke up one day and decided he wanted to pretend he was a goddamn humanitarian? "Sure Blake. Any more bimbos you’d like to invite? Perhaps an ex-girlfriend or two?"
"I told you," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. "There’s nothing going on between us."
"Forgive me if I don’t just take your word for it. I’m having a little déjà vu here. Wasn’t that scene partner you were just friends with a redhead too?"
"That was years ago, Sydney. Let it go already." Then he stalked off in the direction of the cabin.
I went back to my tent, zipped the flap shut behind me, which isn’t nearly as satisfying as slamming a door, and screamed. Then I hurled myself onto my sleeping bag, momentarily forgetting that it was hard wood and not a mattress underneath. I was still cradling my arm, which wasn’t broken but was definitely bruised, when Guy stuck his head inside a few minutes later.
"Syd, it’s almost noon. Don’t you think we should start shooting?"
"Haven’t you heard? We have two stars now. I have to rewrite the whole fucking thing."
"No, you don’t. They can split the lines."
"But Sheena hasn’t even read the script yet." Or maybe she had. It’s not like Blake would’ve bothered to tell me.
"Syd, it’s ten pages. She can memorize them while we’re setting up. Or we’ll put her lines on cue cards."
"Good luck finding cue cards on Wilde Island."
"Then we’ll improvise. You need to go with the flow on these things. Haven’t you ever heard the expression ‘There’s your plan and there’s God’s plan, and God’s plan is the only one that counts?’"
Yes, but this wasn’t God’s plan, it was Lindsay’s.
Jill insisted we all eat lunch before we started shooting, which worked out well since it gave Sheena time to read the script. It also gave her an opportunity to flirt with every male in the room. When Sheena wasn’t teasing Blake about his attempts at an Aussie accent, she was quizzing Sean and Tony about Juneau, asking Duncan his opinion about Irish lagers, and telling Ethan every other word out of his mouth was "brilliant." And they all fell under her spell, even Jake. By the time we finished our sandwiches he wanted to "shoot a movie too."
"No Jake," Jill told him. "Sydney’s going to be too busy to play with you today."
"Actually, I don’t mind if Jake comes along." I needed someone to hold the reflector screen while I managed the mic.
"Are you sure?" Jill asked.
"Absolutely." If Jake hadn’t volunteered I would’ve had to ask Lindsay.
When the sun peeked through the clouds for the first time in two days, the six of us (Lindsay insisted on coming even though I told her she wasn’t needed) headed up to the lookout point above the sea lion beach. There were no whales today, but the wild flowers were in full bloom and the ocean was shimmering in the afternoon light. Guy positioned Blake and Sheena with the blossoms in the foreground and Bristol Bay behind for maximum effect, while I stood to the side holding the boom mic over their heads, and Jake and Lindsay were stationed on either side of the camera, propping up two-foot-wide reflector screens.
Guy hadn’t even begun recording yet when Jake started complaining. "This is boring."
"It’ll get better," I promised, even though I knew it wouldn’t.
Only five minutes had passed before Jake said, "I’m tired. I want to go back."
"Please, Jake, just a little bit longer." I couldn’t hold the mic and his screen, and Lindsay couldn’t be on both sides.
He gave us two more minutes, enough time to record one take, before he walked off the set. But that was long enough for me to realize we had a potential disaster on our hands. I waited until Guy called for a break to reposition the camera before I wandered over to him. "Any ideas?"
"About?" he asked, bending down to tighten the knobs on the tripod’s legs.
I knelt down next to him. "You didn’t notice anything odd about Sheena’s performance?"
"You mean besides the fact that she totally sucked?"
I let out the breath I’d been holding. "Thank God you agree." It wasn’t that Sheena hadn’t learned her lines, she had, and in record time. The problem was her sultry voice and her longing gaze when she spoke. I would never have believed the phrase "sharp tusked behemoths" could be so sexy if I hadn’t witnessed it myself. "So what are you going to do?"
"What do you expect me to do?"
Wasn’t it obvious? "Fire her! You’re the director."
"You’re the producer. You fire her."
"You know I can’t. Blake will just think it’s because I’m jealous." Which of course I was. He was returning some of those longing gazes with meaningful glances of his own.
"Syd, this is your baby, not mine. Either you get rid of her or I’ll work with what I’ve got."
I had to give him credit for trying. Guy shot the scene three more times, with each take gently suggesting to Sheena that she alter her inflection or change her stance. Although she followed his directions, the result was essenti
ally the same. She talked about the walruses, but her voice and her body said you want to have sex with me. And it was obvious that Blake did. I practically did too and I’d never had so much as a lesbian fantasy before that day.
One thing was clear though: Sheena had to go.
Chapter 52
"Are you out of your mind?" Ethan said.
Maybe, but he was still my best shot at getting rid of Sheena. I’d waited until we finished shooting the scene and were changing locations before I asked Lindsay for help. I didn’t want to, and she didn’t want to oblige, but eventually she agreed to hold the mic over Blake’s and Sheena’s heads for half an hour in exchange for a co-producer credit on the documentary. I figured thirty minutes would be more than enough time to find Ethan and convince him to help me. I may have overestimated my powers of persuasion.
"Ethan, I’m begging you," I said, and sank down to my knees with my hands clasped in front of my chest.
He finished pouring coffee into his mug, then walked over to me, leaving just inches between my face and his crotch. "This is a good look for you. But next time take your clothes off, or at least strip down to your underwear." Then he stepped around me and headed back to the office.
"Ethan, I’m serious," I said, following him inside.
"So am I." He sat down at the extra desk, which had formerly been mine but from the mounds of books and paper spread across it, appeared to now be his.
"I thought you cared about this film. Isn’t that why we’re all here?"
"No, that’s why you’re here," he replied, and folded his pad of paper to a clean sheet. "Or at least that’s your excuse. I’m here to count walruses."
"Yes, but we’re on the same team. We both want to help the walruses and this documentary can do that. At least it can if it’s any good."
Ethan ignored me and started writing.
I grabbed the pen from his hand and threw it across the room. "Why won’t you help?"
Ethan sighed and pushed his reading glasses to the top of his head. "What do you want me to say to her, Sydney? You’re ruining the documentary? She’ll just get upset and leave." He stared at me a moment before he cracked a smile. "Or is that the point? Eliminate the competition so you can have lover boy all to yourself."
"This is not about Blake!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I’m sure. If you don’t believe me, then come watch her and decide for yourself. If you think Sheena’s good, then we’ll keep her. If not, then you tell her it’s not working and she has to go."
"Why would she listen to me? I’m not the producer."
"Because you’re the world’s foremost expert on walruses and we all know this documentary won’t succeed without your support." He preened, confirming my suspicion that his ego really was bigger than his brain.
"Remind me again why I should help you."
"You’re not helping me. You’re helping the walruses."
"I don’t know, Sydney," he said, his voice oozing sarcasm. "I wouldn’t want to upset the poor girl."
"Yeah, Ethan, everyone knows you’re all about sparing other people’s feelings."
Ethan insisted on making me wait. His excuse was that it would be less obvious if he and Duncan happened upon us while they were out counting walruses. I wasn’t happy about wasting hours shooting footage I knew we’d never use, but I also realized I didn’t have a choice.
If I could’ve gotten Guy alone I would have filled him in on the plan, but Blake, Sheena, or Lindsay were always with him. All I could do was keep us shooting close enough to the trail that eventually Ethan would have to pass us. Two hours later he did.
We were between takes when Ethan wandered by, his binoculars draped around his neck and Duncan at his side. Blake and Sheena were standing near the edge of the cliff, and I was a few yards away giving my arms a rest from holding the mic over their heads. Lindsay was hovering behind Guy, who was holding a light meter up to the sky.
"What are you doing?" Ethan asked, stepping off the trail and stopping directly between Blake and Sheena and the camera.
"We were about to start shooting," Guy said, taking his place behind the lens. "If you wouldn’t mind."
Ethan circled around so he was now in back of Blake and Sheena instead of in front of them, and motioned for Duncan to follow. "Don’t mind us. We just need to count the walruses, and we’ll be out of your way."
I grabbed Ethan by the arm and walked him out of the frame. "Maybe you can wait a few minutes. We’re almost done here."
Ethan sighed heavily and rolled his eyes at me, seriously overplaying his part. I had no choice but to work with what he gave me. "Blake, did I tell you Ethan agreed to an on-camera interview for the documentary?"
"That’s great," Blake said, his eyes never straying from Sheena’s perfect body.
"Hey, since you’re here anyway," I said, turning back to Ethan, "why don’t you give us your opinion. Guy, did you know we’re making this documentary on behalf of Ethan’s foundation?"
Ethan’s eyebrows shot up and I mouthed, "Go with it." He clenched his jaw, but he didn’t contradict me.
Duncan, who was taking advantage of the opportunity to chat up Lindsay, turned around. "I didn’t know you founded Save the Walrus. How come you never mentioned it?"
"I didn’t found it," Ethan said, and shot me another angry look. "I’m just on the board."
"If everyone’s done chatting," Guy said, "we’re ready to shoot."
I hurried back over to Blake and Sheena and held the mic over their heads while Blake ran his fingers through his hair and Sheena checked her makeup in the compact she kept in her back pocket. When they were both done primping, Guy called "action" and the two of them turned toward the camera.
"These walruses have a new enemy," Sheena said, before turning to face the beach so Guy could shoot her at a three-quarter angle.
"And it’s us," Blake said into the camera before following Sheena’s lead.
After they each gave the walruses a wistful gaze they turned back to the camera.
"Walruses just like these are dying every day," Blake said. He gave Sheena a quick glance before facing the camera again. "The unseen victims of global climate change."
Sheena wrapped her arm around Blake’s waist and stared at him with adoring eyes before she too faced the camera. "Their habitat is literally melting out from under them."
"Cut!" Ethan yelled.
"Hey, buddy," Guy called out to him, "that’s my job."
"Then you should do it," Ethan replied.
Guy made sure the camera was secure on the tripod before stomping across the soggy grass. "Listen, man, if you want to stay and watch I’m cool with that, but there’s only one director. If you think you can do better than me, you’re welcome to try."
"Maybe I will," Ethan said.
I shoved the mic into Blake’s hand and ran over to them. "Guy, just ignore him. You’re doing a great job." Then I glared at Ethan, hoping to telepathically remind him that he was supposed to chase Sheena away, not our director/cameraman.
"Excuse me," Lindsay said, strutting up to Ethan, "but have you ever directed a film before? Or anything for that matter?"
"You don’t have to be a director to know when something’s a piece of crap. Am I right, Sydney?"
I was sooo going to hurt him for this. I slipped my arm through Ethan’s and pulled him to the side. "Of course we want you to be happy with this film," I said loudly and turned to Guy to make sure he was listening before I fixed my angry stare on Ethan again. "After all, you are the client. But telling us it’s a piece of crap isn’t constructive. Perhaps if you told us specifically what’s bothering you then we can try to fix it."
Ethan shook me off and pointed at Sheena and Blake. "For one thing, you’re cluttering up the shot with those two when you should be focusing on the walruses."
"Don’t worry," Guy replied, showing remarkable restraint, "we’ll be shooting plenty of walrus footage before we leave."
"And the acting," Ethan continued, shaking his head. "He’s not bad, but she’s got to go." Then Ethan turned to Sheena and said, "Sorry, honey, there’s no denying you’re gorgeous, but you need to rethink your career."
It sounded like a giant vacuum as we all sucked in our breath at once.
"Ethan," Duncan said, running up to him, "what are you doing?"
"Exactly what Sydney asked me to," he replied in a matter-of-fact tone.
Thankfully I was the only one who understood the double entendre. But before I had time to react, Blake shoved the mic back into my hands and marched over to Ethan. "Hey, man," he said, his face only inches from Ethan’s, "I’m sorry you’re not happy with our work, but that doesn’t give you the right to be rude. I think you owe Sheena an apology."
We all held our breath as Ethan shifted his inscrutable gaze from Blake to Sheena. "Honey, with a body like yours I could think of dozens of films you’d be perfect in. But if you’re planning on keeping your clothes on, then you need to keep your mouth shut."
"Blake, don’t!" I screamed, but his fist had already landed on Ethan’s cheek.
Chapter 53
I ran to Ethan, who was down on the ground but still swinging, while Guy struggled to pull Blake off of him. "He’s not worth it, man," Guy shouted over and over. "Just let it go." Eventually the combination of Guy’s tugging, my screaming, and Sheena’s cries penetrated, and Blake stood up and allowed Sheena to pull him away.
"What an ass," Lindsay said, looking down at Ethan before sidling up to Blake and Sheena in a show of support.
Duncan joined me, kneeling on the wet ground at Ethan’s other side. "What the hell were you thinking? He could’ve beaten you to a bloody pulp."
Ethan sat up, a pink welt already forming under his left eye. "Ask her," he said.
Duncan stared at me, but I ignored him. "Would it have killed you to be a little diplomatic?" I whispered, as I offered him a hand up. "Now he’s so mad he’ll probably want to leave too."
"Yeah, that would really be awful," Ethan replied, ignoring my outstretched hand and rising to his feet himself. "Though I’m confident you won’t let that happen."
